One of the many reasons I love my father so much…

Posted on January 3, 2007 by Meleah

One of the many reasons I love my father so much.

In his quest to help keep his daughter from smoking for YEARS, he can’t be happier that I have finally decided to give it a shot. So, aside from posting warning signs, he went out to the store to pick me up some lollipops.

When they didn’t have lollipops in a bag for sale, did he go to another store? Search for another place that would have a bag of lollipops? No! Instead, my father bargained with the cashier to buy the WHOLE BOX that was on the counter.

“Look, you don’t understand! My daughter just quit smoking for the first time, (like it was life and death situation) I have to get her lollipops! (as if it were a REAL emergency) What can I do to get you to sell me this whole box right now? (like a car sales man)”

(can you people start to see why I am sooo spoiled and why sometimes I think the world really does revolve around me! Who else would do that for me…. No one but MY DADDY!!)

Okay, so I will have better lungs and bad teeth to look forward to in my near future!

Good thing I am so into the “brush your teeth” to help stop smoking!

Have a Lollipop, Brush my teeth, Have a Lollipop, Brush my teeth…

Do you see another Obsessive Compulsive Disorder on the horizon?

THANK YOU DADDY …… I love you!

Posted in Life | 4 Comments

Day Three

Posted on January 3, 2007 by Meleah

Worse than day two. I’m not kidding, I’m not being dramatic or overreacting like I have a tendency to do.

(and yes I am double posting)…(well copy pasting) because certain people do not understand that if a WORD is typed HERE and is in ANOTHER COLORlike blue, or purple, they can CLICK on it, and it will take them to another LINK, nor do they get the literal meaning of CLICK HERE when directed to do so

any-freekin-way….I thought each day was supposed to get easier not harder?

I did the same “lie to myself” maneuver as yesterday to handle the drive to and from work. “Okay, I’ll smoke when I get to exit 9, …. No, I’ll smoke when I get to exit 10….”

I keep telling myself Ill smoke when this or that is complete and then I promise to smoke after the next this or that.

But I want / need to smoke soooo fucking bad!

Why is today worse? (No one asked.) I tell you anyway….I have upgraded to Nicoderm CQ patch and Nicorette GUM and doubled the dose of Xanax, as this was my first day to interact with the “real people” again. and it is NOT.GOING.WELL.

I don’t think there are too many “fans” of my public display full of sudden uncontrollable outburst which have been seen, and felt, by the dozens of innocent bystanders, and often.

My body seems to have a built in timer set to a perfect clock, which causes so many nicotine and tobacco moments of obsession. Not just in the car, on the phone, or after a meal… Oh no, as I have learned today, I have real times during my day that trigger a nic-fit.

The 10am the official work smoke-break. From 12pm thru 1pm (lunch hour) is a full hour of multiple cravings and rages, and the famous 230pm afternoon official work smoke-break, send me in to a practical seizure of desire to inhale the clouds of carcinogenic pleaure.

I ate all my pen caps in the office as well as the gum, but for some reason scotch tape wads, are the most satisfying, and are now my favorite? flavor of things to chew.

So, while being forced to be in public, around real people in a “professional” setting, and being that I am really pisssssssed off…..

In an effort from keeping me from getting fired, and / or protect the harmless, my father has complied a warning / waiver to post / hang on my desk….so people would understand what’s happening to the regular bitchy me, (now turned psychotic freak) and go.the.fuck.away.from.me.

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

By signing below, you have read and understand the RISK of speaking to or even looking at Meleah. That your will hold Meleah and (Name of office) Harmless of any physical, mental or verbal abuse that may be directed at you. You may not call your mommy or run to the boss.

Please be advised that by reading this statement you acknowledge the fact that Meleah Hawthorne has recently quit smoking two packs a day after 20 years.

I am going to respectfully request that you do not approach or speak to Meleah and do NOT ask her a question, until after you have read this Warning Notice and you must sign below in agreement.

Be aware, Meleah may snap at any moment. Meleah may become irrational and unreasonable for long periods of time. Her “moodiness” will be raised to the degree of an amber terrorism alert.

While not smoking Meleah seems to have developed a severe case of hard core Touretts Syndrome and it cannot be stopped. The volume of her tone of voice is also beyond her control.

Meleah does not want to hear any suggestions you may have while “just trying to help.”

Please approach at your own risk. Do not take anything personally.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Hopefully, this will be a short-lived experience for all of us.

SIGN HERE:

*(and seriously, I have 35 signatures…including the electronic signatures I received after being emailed the above agreement)*

Posted in Life | 13 Comments

day two….

Posted on January 2, 2007 by Meleah

Please READ HERE for day two of not smoking because I HATE to double post.

I am at home with a sick child today. Fever of 102. Trying to stay as busy as possible so I don’t loose my mind.

Okay here we are DAY TWO.

——————————————————————————
and here is my DOUBLE POST for thoes of you (eeh hem FAMILY MEMBERS ) who havent / didnt click the link and read :

Let me start with saying thank g-d there are no cigarettes in my car and no butts in an ashtray to relight.

This morning getting “ready” was nearly impossible without smoking.

(Yesterday I didn’t get ready. I wore pajamas, all day, and I slept alot from the nicotine withdrawl and xanax. Yesterday wasn’t as bad as today, mostly because I was unconscious!)

But today, the second I woke up I was dying for a minty cool fresh Newport 100 to accompany my coffee. Somehow, I survived that nightmare by pacing a million times and waiting for the shower to heat up. Then, I washed my hair… violently. I mean I dug in to my scalp like never before. (ouch) I still have a headache from that move. But, I got ready for the first time in 15 years without a cigarette.

My son complained of a headache this morning, but, I shrugged it off thinking he probably just didn’t want to back to school since he had such a long break. Plus, I was really pissy, so I disregarded the complaint, and sent him off to school anyway.

I get in my car, prepared to go to work. OMG… I really needed a cigarette. One of my smoking habits was, as soon as I buckled my seatbelt, I press the cigarette lighter in the dashboard and put a butt in my lips. How was I going to drive without a cigarette?

So, I started lying to myself. Okay, I won’t smoke until I get on the NJTPK. (knowing full well that I don’t even HAVE cigarettes) but, lying seemed to help.

Yes I am wearing the patch, but all that seems to do is cause me to feel like I am overheating and a sick feeling of nausia in the pitt of my stomach.

I get onto the NJTPK and lie to myself some more… I will smoke when I get off at my exit for work.

That seemed to help.

Then, my cell phone rang.

It was my son’s school. As soon as he got to school he went directly to the nurse because he really was sick. Fever 102.

Shit! I am the worst mother ever. Fuck!

The nurse told me the school isn’t allowed to distribute medication like Tylenol or Motrin, and a fever is an immediate dismissal from school. Please come and pick up your son.

I called my office left a voice mail with the manager that I had to turn my car around and go pick up my son from school, because he was sick and I didn’t believe him this morning and I am the worst mother to ever live.

I always PANIC when I have to call out, and I always PANIC when my son is sick.

Had there been any form of cigarette, even a stale old, dried out, smushed, half smoked, butt in a dirty ass ashtray I would have smoked it right then and there.

But alas, I had cleaned out any and all cigarette related objects.

I pick up my son riddled with guilt (making me want to smoke more) and brought him home. I drowned his ass in Motrin and sent him to bed.

I called the Doctors office and made an appointment. While on the phone with the doctor I was chewing on plastic pen caps while checking all my old coat pockets and purses for ONE CIGARETTE. I just wanted ONE CIGARETTE.

Didn’t find one.

Called my office again to let the manager know what was happening and got the voice mail again. So I left another message, just in case, and pray I am not dead when I go in tomorrow.

With my son asleep and me needing to do something other than stare at wall, dwell on the fact that I am missing a day of pay, or searching for long lost hidden cigarettes, I decided to find something to keep me busy.

We all know I am an obsessive compulsive cleaner, so, what would I do until the doctors appointment? Clean! Clean! Clean!

Only this time, cleaning was different. It was like I was removing the smell of smoke once and for all. (yes… I smoked INSIDE MY HOUSE. Shut up!)

I febrezeed the shit out of every fabric (two full bottles of Febreze gone!) I used Nuetra-Air (two full aerosol cans gone!), and a whole box of Carpet Fresh. I stripped all the sheets and washed all the bedding with Tide with and six sheets of Bounce in each dryer load. I lit 85 scented candles and now my house smells like a Bath and Body Works store.

I’m off to the doctors in 15 minuets and PRAY TO GOD I don’t smoke for the rest of the day.

I don’t know if this patch thing is working ?

——————————————————
PS: I tried to DRAW but I can’t because I am too TWITCHY from not smoking. Tried to READ but I can’t because I can’t concentrate. Tried to watch TV, but I can’t because I can’t concentrate. I can’t talk on the phone because that is a MAJOR TRIGGER for the urge / need to smoke. THIS IS THE ONLY THING THAT IS HELPING ME…. BLOG BLOG BLOG….. Why is this sooooo hard? I have brushed my teeth 17 times and it’s only 3pm. I have chewed every single plastic pen cap in the house. Now I am chewing on scotch tape wads, since there is no more GUM either. I don’t want to get in the car and go to the store because 1. JCH is sick and 2. Driving MAKES.ME.WANT.TO.SMOKE! …..

DO I NEED LOLIPOPS? CAN I TAKE THE PATCH AND CHEW NICORETTE GUM AT THE SAME TIME? CAN I MUMIFY MY BODY IN THE PATCH AND WEAR THE WHOLE BOX AT THE SAME TIME?

(At least when I was in REHAB (5 years ago) to get off drugs I had no ACCESS to the outside world or drugs, so psychologically it was easier on me, being locked up for 30 days… even THERE I could smoke. Knowing that I CAN get in my car and I CAN go BUY cigarettes is TOURTURING me.)

I’m not going to feel guilty. I am going to take the advice of my mother (yes, every now and then I do listen to her). I will take that Xanax for the first 5-10 days to stop the anger. What’s with the ANGER? I am so full of fits of RAGE. Is that from the withdrawl? Isn’t the patch supposed to HELP?

I know I said I wasn’t going to double post, but this seems to warrant DOUBLE RANTING.

I sware THESE do not work!

—————————————————–

PPS… Its 1030pm, I am GOING.TO.BED. I made it! A second day!

Posted in Life | 13 Comments

NO BUTTS

Posted on January 1, 2007 by Meleah

Is the FIRST year I will truly attempt to quit smoking (for real.)

I have cut down, from 20-30-(sometimes even 40) cigarettes a day …. to around 5-10 cigarettes a day….but I have never agreed to let it go completely, until now.

I have been a smoker since I was 11 years old. I have been smoking for a total of 21 years.

So much of my smoking is out of habit. The second I wake up, I light up. While having my morning coffee, SMOKE. As soon as I get out of the shower, SMOKE. While putting on make up, SMOKE. While waiting for the rollers in my hair to set, SMOKE. As soon as I get in my car, SMOKE. As soon as my phone rings, SMOKE. Right before and right after each and every meal (including snacks) smoke smoke smoke smoke. After a post, I re read it and SMOKE. After I finish a chapter in my book, smoke. If I am stuck on a chapter in my book, SMOKE. While at work, as soon as I finish an account I was working on, SMOKE. (you get the picture)

Smoking is so much a part of my life I cant really imagine not smoking. I don’t know if I can do it.

Even though there is a part of me that really does want to quit, there’s another side of me that does not want to quit at all.

But, I at least I have to TRY… even if I fail, I have to TRY.

So, here’s a picture of the LAST CIGARETTE I ever smoked:

I am hoping with the help of THIS product (see below) and many many xanax (to stop the inner and outer urges to SCREAM obsenities) constant chewing gum, and I heard somewhere brushing your teeth alot helps make the craving go away faster.

I’m trying right now….to get through day one. Here’s hoping!

Posted in Drama Drama | 5 Comments

How to spend New Years Eve (without your kids bothering you)

Posted on January 1, 2007 by Meleah

Give each child a brad new PSP game system:

MY SON JUSTIN….

JENS DAUGHTER CHLOE

Happily playing together

Check on the kids an hour or so later: wow, they haven’t made a sound.

Check again in another hour: and, they haven’t even moved

Hey! Guys! Maybe? do you want to play some pool?

(they don’t even move, or, look up at you to give an answer)

I”ll take your dead silence as a no? Hey! What about playing some golf?!

Hello? Are you even listening to me? Guys?

So, this is what your going to do? All night?

All night?

All night…..

….Can you at least come up for five minuets and watch the ball drop with your parents? And act like it’s an actual holiday? Pleeeease? I want one picture of all of us…is that possible?

(I’m betting the foot in the picture was pure act of definace, aimed at me, for enforcing a temporary PSP break… at least I got my picture, even if it’s a bad one)

OKAY….. Let’s wrap it up boys n girls……It’s after midnight….tIme to get ready for bed. C’mon…

Good night guys:

Yeah! Right!

(I think they caved in and went to bed somewhere around 2am! but we all slept in till 1030!! OMG! 1030 am! sweeeeet!)

Happy New Year!

From,

Meleah & Justin
Jennifer & Chloe

Posted in Family, Friends | 6 Comments

The house is clean (which is no big surprise as I …

Posted on December 30, 2006 by Meleah

The house is clean (which is no big surprise as I do that too often anyway) but the laundry is done… really! All of it! … look!

(that never happens!!)

The hair has been colored, (no more depressing greys) my waxing is complete and I showered with a razor! (I even made time for a quickie home facial with a spa / dermabration treatment (ahhh so smooth! Now if I could just get some color back in my face…maybe one day I’ll take another picture of my face.)

Currently, I am blogging about nothing so my “to do” list as posted yesterday is half complete.

Then, I had my favorite time in the world. JCH time. The same time that is slipping away more and more as he gets older, locks himself in his room to talk on the phone and do whatever else boys do during puberty. Please DON’T tell me what that is exactly because la!la!la! (I can’t hear you) LA! LA! LA!

So while I have few and fleeting moments, and even fewer when I am not sick or too exhausted, I cling to each of these short lived memorable times.

I watched the movie MONSTER HOUSE with JCH (I was more scared than he was, but I really cant handle scary movies, even if it’s a cartoon)

Then, as promised, we played this NEW board game:

It’s a really funny game consisting of true false questions, gambling with chips and lying your ass off.

(not for children under age 10) But…. Highly recommended to an older group of people, because the game has many many possibilities to turn in to an ultimate drinking game.

Anyway, I always LOOSE to JCH. I am not one of those parents that gives clues, or helps, I don’t even LET him win. I genuily try to beat him, and beat him good, but… NO. Every single time! Every single game! He beats the crap out of me.

Here’s the Question; FOR THE FINAL WIN

Guess who won? JCH! WINNING as usual…

and here’s me LOOSING as usual

Nice, a ten year old knows more about jeopardy style questions than I ever will.!

Things Left for me to do Tonight:

-draw tattoo to Cascadian baby sister
-sift and choose the new Ev movies to post on YOUTUBE

Sunday:
-pick up my favorite candles at bath and body works
-pick up a good “overnight bag”
-use all the holiday gift cards up (sales!sales!sales!)
-spend New Years Eve at Jennifer’s with both our kids Justin and Chloe

and, the best news…. I will finally have that ONE MORE DAY I always need, to enjoy all the comforts of my freshly cleaned house, having met any and all obligations: cleaning, laundry, shopping, friends, family. I will finally be able to, and will give myself a FULL DAY on Monday to wear pajamas for 24 hours and write (work on my book) until my fingers bleed!

———————————————————————————

PS……maybe I should always feel like shit about myself and write about it on the internet, I never had so many comments as the post that was full of self pity. I just had a BAD day, but it’s nice to know that so many people had some many nice things to say about me. Wow. I am shocked. THANK YOU ALL

Posted in Life | Comments Off on The house is clean (which is no big surprise as I …

I have never written a single word

Posted on December 29, 2006 by Meleah

I have never written a single word about news or politics, BUT, I am doing a happy dance right now, as SADDAM HUSSEIN is DEAD!!! Execution style!

Posted in News, Politics | Comments Off on I have never written a single word

research (because I am that vain)

Posted on December 29, 2006 by Meleah

Okay okay….

First I want to THANK YOU all for so many NICE things you had to say to me when I was feeling all BAD and DOWN, and being too hard on myself.

Now, one of the suggestions was to STOP posting THESE kinds of pictures (see below)

(my normal stressed, worried, sad, expression)

and to START posting more pictures of me smiling….

okay?

so, here they are.

(some I am FAKING / FORCING a smile) but others I am really smiling becasue I started laughing when I realized how stupid I was being).

Please comment and let me know which are better…. OR, if I should forgo any pictures of me all togther until I am not as sick as I am, and add some poundage back to my BIAFRIN (less the belly) shaped body.

Posted in Life | Leave a comment

I got nothing… to write about

Posted on December 29, 2006 by Meleah

Well, lets see, I got….. nothing……… to write about.

Other than THE GODFATHER of SOUL has left us forever, and now I have no reason to live!

Rock on with your badself Mr. James Brown.

I do feel better than I did on Wednesday, thanks to the emails, IM’s, and comments. I didn’t have to go to any pharmacy today; my car is working fine (no flat tires!!). I found some crazy way to get home that does NOT involve the NJTPK for the whole trip, which has cut down on some of the traffic. I can’t write about work, and I survived the holiday hell….

So, um nothing to complain about and no drama in the past 24 hours, leaves me, well, with nothing to write about. So let me bore you with this.

Tonight, I will clean my house, wax my lip, and dye my grey hair back to the auburn color I was born with.

My other plans, for the looooooooooooooong weekend, that don’t involve rubber gloves, bleach or altering my appearance:

1. Writing (work on) my book (I am still stuck on chapter ten)!
2. I plan on finishing the picture of a tattoo I am drawing for my Cascadian baby sister
3. I may even start the picture I am supposed to draw for my other fellow Cascadian (she did make a request after all!)
4. I will also sift through the all the hours and hours of my fathers 58th birthday party and Christmas video footage I shot of EVELYN and pick n choose what will be YOU-TUBED next. (Yes MONICA you will be the 1st person I notify)
5. More than likely I will blog about nothing as usual
6. I have some reading to do
7. And I have to finish the mountain of laundry

Oh the excitement!

Since I have my son, JCH, this weekend, there will be lots n lots of board games and video games played, and possibly even venture out of the house? To Jennifer’s? For XBOX on a movie sized screen TV and PSP action? All depends on if I can pry my son’s hands off the Christmas gifts that are at my house which he hasn’t had a chance to see / use / or play with since he’s been gone all week! I’m leaving it up to JCH weather or not we leave the house at all over the weekend. He may just want to stay home in his own house since he’s been gone for so long, but I maybe I can entice him into going to Jen’s for New Years Eve at least? We’ll see. We’ll see.

Yeah, like I said, I have…………..nothing…………..to write about….

Oh, Except for this… I LOVE COPS. (well one in particular) Not the ticket writing, power hungry handcuff you kind (well…maybe the handcuffs). Shady cops are hot, but this one, (not shady, just reeeeeeeealy cute and funny) has been my on-off-go-to-guy for years. I have known him since I was 24 years old. We dated a lifetime ago, when that was over, we managed to stay good friends (like in a Jerry and Elaine kind of way) and he has helped me out of a jam or two in my day. I like the security I feel having him in my “back pocket” as emergency or “back up.”

Wouldn’t you know it, just when a girl was feeling like an old hag, ugly duckling…who arrives in blazing glory in my parking lot? Yes, obviously hot Joe-Cop… full of compliments for me. Yes! He came up for a visit with his partner and I forgot just how funny they both are. Joe-Cop accused me of being hot, remarked on the spectacular rack, and said I looked 25! That’s right! 25! and I didn’t even tell him some loser on myspace said I looked 45! Oh no… completely unprovoked he just started complimenting me. VALIDATION! Yeay! (although I was this skinny when I was 25 because I was a crack head…so maybe looking 25 wasn’t such a compliment?)

I don’t know what it is about Joe, but every single time he gets within 5 feet of me, I start sweating, badly. (worse than the sweaty me in the flickr pics on Christmas at my moms in 80 degree whether with the fireplace on) I get so nervous and tongue tied even though we are just friends. Sometimes just a simple phone call from him acts like a catalyst for instant perspiration. What is that about? Do I still have a crush on him? After all these years? Can’t be! Or, is knowing that it is a GUN in his pocket (big.fat.turn.on) or that at any minuet he can save or take a life. That’s fucking hot. I don’t care what anyone says. The uniform, the ability to run red lights… I could go on and on about it, but I’ll shut up now because I am sweating.

Well, that’s enough drivel for one day! I have laundry to do people.

Posted in Music | 1 Comment

FUCK YOU

Posted on December 28, 2006 by Meleah

Shouting out a big FUCK! YOU! to the worst pharmacy ever. I hate this pharmacy soooo much! I don’t even know where to begin.

Lets start with me dropping off of my scripts at the drive through window of Walgreens (which will now and forever be referred to as the fucking worst pharmacy ever) at 530pm. I was told at the drop off window that it would be about an hour, maybe even less than an hour to fill the three bottles of pills.

An hour.

Okay. That’s not so sucky. It is finally cold outside, so I would imagine there are many more people who may now be getting sick and in need of medication as December 28th seems to be the first real day of winter we’ve had all year. I’m sure an hour is reasonable.

Being that I live 20 minutes each way, that would have been 40 minutes right then and there, so why bother to go all the way home when I will just have to turn right around only to come right back out. And an hour is reasonable.

So, I drove around, (still in work clothes) window shopped, and sent out text messages to a bunch people whom I have ignored over the last week or so being so busy with my own family and holiday obligations.

To my surprise, the hour went by quickly.

630pm, I waited in the drive through window line of cars until it was my turn. When it was my turn, THEY (the fucking worst pharmacy ever) told me the computers had crashed, they were now backed up, and it would be another 30-40 minutes. Okay. Okay. Even that was reasonable. Shit happens, I understand how frustrating a system down can be. Okay. No problem, no one’s fault. Fine. I could deal with being stuck in my g-d awful work clothes a bit longer, and hey, I already made it this long… what the hell. No point in driving home now either.

I parked my car in a space and played the famous annoying cell phone game that I now KICK ASS at.

That half hour also went by quickly.

7pm, I got back in the drive through line of cars (for the third time) and waited until it was my turn. Again.

Now, things were becoming not-so-reasonable.

715pm, window is mine. That’s when THEY (the fucking worst pharmacy ever) couldn’t find my insurance information. Okay, no problem, system was down there must still be some problems, so, here’s my health insurance card.

But, in order to keep things moving the woman at the window asked me, “Would you mind just circling the building just once more and let us (the fucking worst pharmacy ever) get the other medications out to the other people who’s information isn’t missing?”

OKAY… Fine, but I am only doing that for the sick people who are waiting in line behind me. Or for the parents who may be waiting behind me and need antibiotics for their kids. Okay. I’ll circle the building. again. I will get in line. again.

745pm, 4th time in line, (incase you are counting) I was FINALLY handed my scripts. (2 hours and 15 minutes later, not ONE hour like promised when I arrived) Fine.

Now, the last time I was there, I drove all the way home before I found out THEY (the fucking worst pharmacy ever) fucked up my pills by forgetting to put in an entire prescription bottle that I paid for. So, having learned a hard lesson that involved 3 car rides in the past, at least this time, I checked the bag.

Hey! What a surprise! I am glad I checked inside my white paper sack of pills. (before getting home and finding this out!) THEY(the fucking worst pharmacy ever) fucked up. AGAIN.

All reasonability is out of the question from here on in.

THEY (the fucking worst pharmacy ever) gave me GENERIC not the BRAND NAME scripts. (They (the fucking worst pharmacy ever) never asked me, if I wanted the generic or brand name, had they, I would have never agreed to the generic brand. THAT, was their fuck up, by assuming I wanted the generic.)

It can be argued, “generic / brand name are the same pills” or that “the pills have the same active ingredients.” I am here to tell you NO! That’s wrong! (trust a person who takes 15 – 20 pills a day).

Now… I am all for saving money, I make less than $30,000 a year and I am a single mom living in NJ… I can’t afford to make expensive decisions. I know from personal experience that there are certain medications I can take the generic brand, and there are some medications that I can not take the generic brand.

Of course the generic brand the fucking worst pharmacy ever gave me was the exact pill I can NOT take, unless it is the brand name.

It took ten minutes to explain that I know that I can’t take that generic brand, please change this script to the brand name.

(wow I just realized how I sound like an 80 year old man right about now…scripts, and the word generic… oh god, who am I becoming)

Then, I did something stupid. I assumed the matter wouldn’t be difficult to solve. This little problem would be rectified easily, right? I mean HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE to put pills from one bottle to another bottle. How HARD can THAT be? I mean dump out one bottle on the metal tray and use that seperator thing to shove them in the new bottle. Right?

I was told it would take just ten more minutes. It was their fuck up, their mistake. TEN MINUTES? To fix? Fine. Fine. Fine. Well not fine, but ten minutes sounded promising even. It was a HARD ten, and my patience and ability to be polite was ending rapidly.

Okay! I will circle the building! and get in the drive through window line one more time! (5th fucking time, totally UNREASONABLE) and wait for the switch! FINE!

825pm. (3 hours later (not one) and 5 times waiting in line) umm….SO-NOT-FINE.

Three hours of waiting in a parking lot? When I could have gone home, changed, brushed my teeth, ate dinner had I known it was a THREE HOUR wait, not a ONE HOUR job like I was told.

Grrr……I get back to drive through window at 845pm. (an HOUR, not TEN MINUETS LATER as expected, for the switch from the generic to the brand name of pills were supposed to be read, …. it was an HOUR wait not TEN MINUTES because the lines were crazy long each time I sat in them.)

So help me g-d, this better be it. I will flip out. Flip out.

(After 2 and a ½ hours of waiting, I was still even rational. I think I snapped exactly at the 2 hr 59 min mark.)

The woman looked at me and said, “Umm… I’m sorry it’s still not ready.”

That’s when I completely lost it.

“Oh really? Is that so? Let me tell you a little secret, I have been kind. I have been understanding. I have been patient. I haven’t been RUDE nor have I given anyone any attitude for the lack of competece in this building. But there is no way I am putting up with this anymore….I am not circling the building, AGAIN and I am not waiting in line AGAIN. I am not moving my car, until you fix my medication. I was supposed to be done at 630pm. I would have also been done at 730pm, if you didn’t fuck my shit up again. That was supposed to take TEN MINUETS TO FIX…..It’s now 845pm, I gave you an HOUR to fix what was supposed to be done in TEN MINUTES. I have been in the parking lot for over 3 hours since I dropped off my prescriptions, and I have been in line 5 times. You are going to give me my fucking pills, because I AM NOT MOVING MY CAR OR MY BODY until you do.”

I got my corrected medications at 902pm.

It was a total of 3 hours and 32 minuets in a parkinglot, 5 times waiting in a line of cars, in my work clothes , with no dinner, after an hour and a half commute on the NJTPK after 8 hour day at work, for 3 bottles of pills.

FUCK! YOU! WALGREENS! FUCK YOU!

I think I need a new pharmacy.

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