[*The Female Perspective.]
1. You’d rather go shopping at ‘Dick’s Sporting Goods’ than ‘Nordstroms’.
2. While looking through your closet you suddenly notice you own more ‘Skorts’ than ‘Skirts’.
3. You find ‘Golf Tee’s’ in the dryer and ‘Ball Markers’ in the washing machine after doing your laundry and it makes you smile.
4. The terms: ‘Grinding’, ‘Skulling’, ‘Shaft’ and, ‘Whacking’ no longer sound like sexual innuendos.
5. Hurricane Warnings, Tornado Watches, and/or Heat Advisory’s – will NOT get in the way of your Tee-Time.
6. And, neither will your period.
7. You’d much rather play with your own ‘Three Wood’ than your husbands ‘Morning Wood’.
8. You want a brand-new set of golf clubs instead a diamond bracelet for your next birthday.
9. You play 27 holes in less than 12 hours.
10. And, you have the ‘Golf Tan Lines’ to prove it.
Feel free to add some more in the comments section!
10 signs you might be golfing too much:
1. When you pick up something off the floor, you have to lean on your putter
2. The only number on your speed dial is 1-800-TEETIME.
3. You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.
4. You dream you go to prison but still get conjugal visits with your driver.
5. You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.
6. You’d like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?
7. Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.
8. You’re vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife
9. You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.
10. Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.
I didn't realize anyone could be as obsessed with anything as much as I am with hockey! 😀
You are too funny! I love these.
I can't “top” any of these, but I sure can “top” the golf ball plenty.
Sounds like you're way beyond serious. Are you a snatch golfer…oops….I mean scratch golfer? Sorry! 🙂
Fabulous !
OMG…this post is freakin' HYSTERICAL!
4. The terms: ‘Grinding’, ‘Skulling’, ‘Shaft’ and, ‘Whacking’ no longer sound like sexual innuendos.
7. You’d much rather play with your own ‘Three Wood’ than your husbands ‘Morning Wood’.
Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
You ROCK, girl! Thanks for the laugh!
X
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHha
OMG! Agg! These are so funny!
My favorites are #4 & #8!
Thanks for playing along
Golf to me is like Hockey for you!
I have been known to top the ball one too many times and I get so PISSED
when I do!
Thanks Robbie!
You're welcome! These were fun to make up!
Whoa. I haven't been as active in the blogosphere lately, and I totally missed when you picked up a husband. When did that happen?
And, how did you break it to Alec Baldwin?
I don't have a husband! But I needed to pretend I do for that pun!
If I ever played golf, I guarantee you that I would not get over the sexual innuendo's. What's the fun in that?
Since I don't golf, I certainly can't add anything to this. I do know a number of golf widows and I am sure they could think of things to add but might not want to say them in public.
So you were just having fun,
By using that for your pun,
Giving you a moment in the sun?
That's neat but now I'm done.
I'm going to have to run.
Later you can tell me what I've won.
I hope it's not a burger bun.
Those sometimes get overdone.
And please no statue of Attila the Hun.
That's a good point!
🙂
You win cookies!
Ha ha ha! Thanks for the larf, this is a great list! And I agree with Ron, numbers 4 and 7 really cracked me up! A David Leterman-worthy top ten list!
Wow. Thanks Marty! That's a huge compliment!
Great list, Meleah. I don't know what any of it really means, but it's funny anyway!
Thanks Linda! I tried NOT to use too much golf lingo!
You know, I get that grinding, shaft, three wood and whacking sound sexual, but I don't get skulling. Is there something going on out there that I need to be aware of? Or afraid of?
Sadly, I cannot answer that!
There IS something sexual that means Skulling, but I'm too much of a 'lady'
to type it, or say it, let alone do it!
Luckily, I'm not too much of a lady to investigate. 😛
I consulted urbandictionary.com, as that site generally has the ability to clear up any confusion about things in this school of thought. The definition I found, though, was frightening. Yikes!!
I've never been much of a golfer, but this post cracked me up! 🙂
Number 7 is the clincher….I wouldn't want a real golfer for a wife! My morning wood should come first 😛 Noon wood, afternoon wood, evening wood, late evening & midnight wood & dawn wood too!!!!!
OMG. I'm becoming a real golfer and I didn't even know it!
Yep. The correct definition is in the Urban dictionary!
And, yes, it's VERY upsetting!
YAY!
Ahahahahahah!
YAY! Terri!
That makes TWO of us!!
Your prime age to join the LPGA. I'd totally drag your bag around for you! 😉
Awww! Peedee!
xoxoxo
You are obsessed woman! What the hell?
You find that you're inventing a whole new group of swear words.
I know nothing at all about golf, I'm afraid. All I can say is FORE!!!!
It's the best game ever!
YES!
Aw! xoxox
I'll have to remember to put the clubs in my car…..
I always have my clubs in the car – AND an outfit! Just.In.Case.
Ha! That's funny! I don't play golf, but I do know that feeling! LOL!
🙂
Numbers Six And Seven. I love you girl.
Well, if I knew anything at all about golf that isn't the 'Wii' kind, I might be able to add one or two 😉
Wow! It looks like you are having a lot of action golfing. 🙂
What is most important is enjoying it. Thank you for dropping by Meleah. Great to see you around.
Your still the best for making me smile, some day I'm going to try a real game of golf…
Dorothy from grammology
Love you back woman!
Good to see you back blogging again too!