*WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT*
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Meleah. She was a free-spirited, good-time-having, happy-go-lucky, kind of girl, filled with whimsical hopes and dreams. She lived to laugh. And she liked to imagine a world with endless possibilities.
But then one day, everything changed.
First she got sick.
And then she got sicker.
And then everything went to hell.
Because of these annoying medical conditions, Meleah has good days. And Meleah has bad days. But as of late, Meleah has had more bad days, than good days.
And this makes Meleah really, really, really, sad.
And very, very, very, frustrated.
But mostly – really, really, really, sad.
Because Meleah can no longer enjoy a lot of the things she once loved doing. And her days of being a free-spirited, good-time-having, happy-go-lucky, kind of girl, filled with whimsical hopes and dreams, have since become a faded memory.
Meleah spent countless nights, hopelessly crying, and wallowing in self-pity. Pangs of rage filled her clenched fists and she cursed the heavens above.
Except Meleah doesn’t like to dwell in those dark places.
Mostly because, Meleah is scared of the dark. And dwelling takes up entirely too much energy.
So, Meleah searched for an outlet because she desperately needed a coping mechanism, aside from obsessively making her bed. And a coping mechanism that could provide some level of comfort and possibly even a glimmer of happiness.
At first, Meleah wasn’t sure if she could express her true feelings, or fully divulge the reality of her annoying medical conditions, because unlike some other crazy people wandering around the Internet, Meleah does not use her annoying medical conditions as a means for seeking attention, or to gain sympathy. In fact the term, “Poor, Meleah” makes her cringe.
However, wrestling with those enormously overwhelming feelings, slowly began to crush her soul. So Meleah had to do something, and she had to do something quickly, in order to stop circling the emotional drain.
And then…
One day, about a year ago, Meleah decided to try and ‘Find The Funny’ surrounding one of her health issues.
Instead of hiding in her bed, sobbing hysterically, and drowning in a sea of shame, Meleah took a chance when she posted one of her most horrifying experiences, publicly.
And even though it mostly focused on women’s issues and not necessarily her annoying medical conditions, that very post, opened one very important door for Meleah. Because something miraculous happened when Meleah realized there were so many people capable of identifying with her. But even more importantly, she realized there were so many people willing to laugh WITH her.
Especially when she received comments like these:
“There is no such thing as TMI! Our mothers never warned us what the female body is truly capable of so we are scared and ashamed of it until someone who lives the TMI lifestyle pops on the subject. Then suddenly the clouds part and everything makes sense and we are at one and embrace them. Whoever said Meleah’s posts weren’t educational AND hysterical?”
And that comment was extremely important to Meleah.
* Because it took away the power of humiliation, immediately. *
And that’s when Meleah thought, maybe, just maybe, I should do this more often? And then she thought, maybe it’s my civic duty to keep the men and women in my life well informed, about real issues, with real descriptions, no matter how embarrassing and or disgusting they might be?
And from that moment on Meleah decided she would never be too afraid, or too ashamed, to post anything online again. And that’s how she first became known as ‘The Queen’ of too much information.
Over these past few months, Meleah has been facing yet another challenging health crisis. Maybe even the toughest health crisis she’s ever had to face. And she really wasn’t sure if she should talk about it, in graphic detail, on her blog?
It’s gross. It’s depressing. And most people would probably keep these kinds of topics and these kinds of issues a private matter. And sometimes Meleah worries that people are getting sick of hearing about her being sick, because she’s certainly sick of talking about being sick. And she’s definitely sick of being sick.
* And also, she is tired of receiving unsolicited advice, from uninformed people. *
So Meleah didn’t write about what’s been happening.
At least not here.
Meleah only posted a few things on Flickr and Facebook with status updates and photos. But Meleah has a lot of blogging friends, who really care about her, that are NOT on Flickr and Facebook. And they’ve been asking a lot questions about her extended absences online. And they’ve been asking a lot of questions about her annoying medical conditions.
Normally, Meleah does not feel compelled to explain any of her absences to anyone. However, because she loves and respects her friends so very much, she’s going to dive right in, and give up all the gory details.
And, also…
* Because it takes away the power of humiliation, immediately. *
A few months ago, Meleah was sent for all kind of tests and all kinds of exams. And that’s when Meleah learned several new medical terms, most of which she couldn’t pronounce, let alone spell. And then she was introduced to an extensive team of special doctors, working round the clock, in order to get a handle on these issues.
Luckily, she found the worlds greatest General Practitioner, who oversees the other specialists while doling out Urgent Care and Vitamin Injections on a weekly basis. Meleah also has a Rheumatologist for Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and Sjogren’s Syndrome, a Gastroenterologist for Crohn’s Disease, an Endocrinologist for Hashimoto Thyroiditis, and an Immunologist/Allergist for her intense anaphylaxis and angioedema reactions to food, because she is allergic to all of the foods on this list.
Meleah knows that was a whole lot of information in the paragraph above. And it probably requires at least one more punctuational period somewhere in there. Meleah also knows it’s a whole lot of information which probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, to people without autoimmune diseases. But that’s okay. Because that’s not entirely why she brought you here today. Except that it kind of is.
Speaking of autoimmune diseases, unfortunately, because of the severity of Meleah’s annoying medical conditions, she is typically scheduled for 2-5 different doctor appointments, every single week. Which doesn’t leave very much time for anything else, like writing or reading blog posts, or replying to emails, or even answering text messages. Autoimmune diseases are not like having a cold, where once it’s over, you get better.
There are no cures.
There are only treatments and medications.
Lots, and lots, and lots of medications.
Which work. Sometimes.
Except when they don’t.
And some of those medications are immune suppressants, which only puts Meleah at a much higher risk for getting infections, such as strep throat, the flu, bronchitis, etcetera. And since she spends most of her time inside doctor offices WITH ALL OF THE OTHER SICK PEOPLE, she is forever suffering from some kind of aliment.
So when December rolled around, Meleah just thought she had some type of stomach virus, which is totally plausible, considering she’s always in doctor offices WITH ALL OF THE OTHER SICK PEOPLE. And because she hadn’t experienced an episode with Crohns in over eighteen months, it was the furthest thing from her mind.
Until….
After three days of explosive and uncontrollable intestinal issues, I started expelling blood clots. Actual blood clots, like you get from a really bad period. Only they came from my asshole and they were the size of my fist, for five hours. At 9am, I was admitted to the hospital, via ambulance, where I continued to expel blood clots, every 15 minutes, for another 20 hours, in a row, while receiving intravenous antibiotics, intravenous fluids, and intravenous painkillers. Three days later, when the bleeding subsided, and tests were completed, I was released from the hospital and referred back to my gastrointestinal doctor. I was placed on a clear liquid diet and I scheduled for a full GI work up.
Meleah wants you to know that she temporarily freaked out after posting her saga and that photo on Flickr for the whole wide world to see. And then Meleah considered deleting it altogether. But then, she received this email from one of her friends:
“You may be poor in health, but you’re definitely rich with friends. And you reward them with the sort of openness and complete honesty that people can’t help but admire…and be in awe of, frankly. Your mind, as it always was, is sharp as a knife and powerful as a jet engine, your body will catch back up soon.”
And that made Meleah cry, happy tears, for the first time in weeks, because even after she revealed the most disgusting details surrounding a crohns attack, she was magically freed from the shackles of shame.
* Because it took away the power of humiliation, again. *
A few short days later and still suffering from severe intestinal issues, Meleah had to face yet another degrading act, all in the name of her annoying health issues.
But this time…
She decided to be bolder, and braver, than she’d ever been.
And she went ahead and posted this on Facebook.
The gastrointestinal doctor needs a special “sample” in order to rule out a specific infection before he can schedule my colonoscopy & endoscopy. These are the proper “supplies” to handle my morning business. I seriously cannot believe I have to set an alarm clock, only to shit in a bucket, and transport it back to the hospital for testing, before 10am. WHO ELSE CAN SAY THAT? And I am such a nervous wreck, even my vagina is sweaty. Anyone wanna trade lives for a day?
For a very brief moment, Meleah worried she may have pushed the TMI envelope a little too far, even for her. But she was wrong. And she knew she was wrong when she saw these comments:
“You just made my morning with that comment and picture, even though I was reading it while having my breakfast.”
“I know I am not suppose to be laughing but how you worded everything is a trip.”
“I don’t know how you hold on to your sense of humor. You’re amazing.”
“This just made my day and I really needed the laugh. Also, I totally would take one for the team and trade you for a day. I’m such a giver.”
“Vagina sweating? I have been there. Tell it to stop being such a pussy.”
And with that, Meleah was able to carry her own bag of shit, into that hospital, with her head held high, and a smile on her face.
* Because posting in on the Internet took away the power of humiliation, again. *
And not only that, but Meleah discovered she had amazing friends willing trade lives for a day. And she also discovered she is lucky enough to have friends that are willing to admit really embarrassing things about themselves too.
And that makes me Meleah feel like she’s not alone.
And that makes Meleah a lot less sad.
After three weeks of non-stop diarrhea, and losing 16 pounds, Meleah was scheduled for her colonoscopy.
She knew exactly what she was going to have to deal with. And she knew exactly what the outcome would be when the results came back, because Meleah has colonoscopies every six months. Nevertheless, drinking that god-awful prep the night before a colonoscopy is NEVER a good time, for anyone.
So once again, Meleah called upon her beloved Internet, to see her through another horrible procedure.
Without fail, Meleah’s friends managed to make her laugh when they said things like…
“I just read that as “Super Bowl Party Prep Kit.”
“I’ve been thinking about maybe having a Super Bowl party. Could be one hell of a game day margarita!”
“Good thing I usually take time to read the label twice… This doesn’t sound nearly as fun as a Super Bowl party.”
“I don’t see Doritos or onion dip on the package?”
“New nickname for your toilet. Super Bowl.”
And then Meleah took things just a little bit further, when she posted a video of herself drinking the actual colonoscopy prep, mostly because she wanted to keep her promise to her dear friend Kathy.
And also because, why the hell not?
Meleah wasn’t exactly sure how Kathy would respond. But she was totally super happy when she read her reply.
“OMG, Mel!!!!! You are my hero! I said “Oh my God” just before you did, when you poured all that shit in a cup. Loved this!!!! Thank you and wishing you the very best colonoscopy tomorrow. You know, a fun one.”
And even though Meleah was riddled with anxiety the day of her procedure, complete with pit stains and vaginal sweat, at least Meleah had Kathy’s comment, “you’re my hero,” to think about about, right before they knocked her out with propofol.
When Meleah returned home from her colonoscopy, she slept, and slept, and slept, like she hadn’t slept in years.
But when she awoke the following day, her face felt very strange. As if she’d been punched in the mouth. And when she ran over to the mirror, she was greeted with an unpleasant reflection.
It was the very same reflection she saw the day after she was released from the hospital.
![Apparently any time my body goes through any sort of trauma [such as hospitalization and/or colonoscopy] because of my annoying medical conditions, my immune system immediately kicks into over drive and releases excessive amounts of histamine throughout my blood stream. My body thinks it’s protecting itself, when in reality it’s attacking itself. Thus my giant, fat, puffy, swollen, upper lip. This also sends my body into a Lupus/Rheumatoid flair up causing all of the joints in my hands, knees, and feet, to become inflamed. I was unable to manipulate any utensils, or even hold a cup, let alone type a text message, or a post a facebook status update.](https://mommamiameaculpa.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/allergy-lips-at-home.jpg)
Apparently any time my body goes through any sort of trauma [such as hospitalization and/or colonoscopy] because of my annoying medical conditions, my immune system immediately kicks into over drive and releases excessive amounts of histamine throughout my blood stream. My body thinks it’s protecting itself, when in reality it’s attacking itself. Thus my giant, fat, puffy, swollen, upper lip. This also sends my body into a Lupus/Rheumatoid flair up causing all of the joints in my hands, knees, and feet, to become inflamed. I was unable to manipulate any utensils, or even hold a cup, let alone type a text message, or a post a facebook status update.
Luckily, this happened on a Friday, and Meleah was already scheduled for her weekly Vitamin Injections. After she received a healthy dose of Vitamin B12 they gave her two more injections of Prednisone and Benadryl. And even though Meleah is completely terrified of needles, she was never so happy to get shot in the ass, because her symptoms subsided within a few hours.
Through all of this, the absolute worst thing for Meleah has been the feeling of utter powerlessness. Because there is nothing she can do about any of this. It’s completely out of her control. It doesn’t matter what she eats, or what she doesn’t eat, or how careful she is, or how many nights she stays at home and no longer socializes in real life for fear of getting sick, or how after being poked with so many needles, and prodded with so many Medical Devices, the last thing she wants is to be touched by another human being.
Because even when she IS totally-super-careful, and stays locked inside her own personal bubble, also known as her purple paradise, sometimes she still wakes up in the morning, with a cold, and bronchitis, and a sinus infection, and swollen joints, and an anaphylaxis allergic reaction, for no fucking reason whatsoever.
Seriously? Again? This is the THIRD time in THREE weeks. The day I came home from the hospital = BOOM fat, puffy, lip. The day after my colonoscopy = BOOM fat, puffy, lip. Now I’m sick with bronchitis = BOOM fat, puffy, lip. According to my Medical Team Of Doctors, because my body is in a constant state of PURE distress when ONE thing flairs up – so does EVERYTHING else.
The only thing Meleah has any control over, is her mental state and her emotional reactions to these situations. Except when she doesn’t. And that’s when her family, and friends, and the Internet comes in.
Because through all of this?
The BEST PART has been learning just how lucky she is to have people in her life to help ‘Find The Funny’ even when she can’t.
And even more people to hold her hand, and tell her everything will be okay, when she needs it the most.
Meleah will continue to share entirely too much information.
And she will continue to post disgusting photos.
* Because it continues to take away the power of humiliation *
And also… because it makes her laugh. And laughter really is the best medicine.
Thank you, Internet.
For loving me unconditionally.
I love you too.
I would never be able to handle this without all of your friendships.
Lastly, now that you’ve been completely informed with respects to Meleah’s annoying medical conditions, she worked really hard to put together this Video Montage of what it’s really like, Living With Autoimmune Diseases, accompanied by a kick-ass soundtrack.
Please enjoy.
And I love you SOFA KING MUCH! Thank you for being the best Big Sister, ever!
How am I supposed to go back to working on my book after reading this? All I can do is think about how your incredibly awesome post (rife with so much TMI it made me have a silent scream like the one in that Edvard Munch painting) made me laugh; made me cry; made me want to reach out and hug you so tight you gasp for breath; made me want to feed you chocolate; and watch chick flicks with you while we eat tubs of ice cream and cry together; and tuck you into bed and tell you a magical bedtime story with a super happy ending to assure you that everything in your life is going to be okay.
Worst and most shameful of all is the split second where I found myself thinking, “Oh, wow, she lost 16-pounds so fast!” and because of that I was deservedly struck with a mighty blow from the guilt hammer for being so
incredibly self-focused as to even think for a millisecond about my diet woes in the middle of reading about your terrible dilemma, and the other dilemma, and the next dilemma, and the dilemma after that, and all the other dilemmas that are way too much for one woman to have to endure.
And then I thought, “Well hell…the heroine I’m writing sucks compared to Meleah’s amazing bravery and humor and fabulous attitude and so now I’m going to have to go back over my entire damn book and try to make
her as awesome and incredible and relatable and likeable as Meleah.”
And when reading the other comments I noted that people have suggested that you write about all this TMI stuff in a book, and I’m thinking, “Oh my God, if Meleah doesn’t do this I’m going to nag her, and chastise her, and cause untold grief that’s a bazillion times worse than her Super Bowl prep if she doesn’t follow through and write a book because it would be the most totally kickass book EVER!
Even though your post is completely to blame for sidetracking me by yanking me out of my writing mode, Meleah, I just want you to know that I love you. I admire you. And I want to be you when I grow up…even though I’m
technically probably old enough to be your mom. 🙂
Daisy,
This is may very well be the single best comment, I have ever received. Ever.
In fact, I think I might have to print this out and save it forever.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I love and admire the hell out of you too!
And yes, please…. DO nag me and chastise me, until I finish my current novel, so that I can hurry up and use this stuff for my NEXT novel.
Also, I am sorry for totally distracting you – from your own work today!
XOXOXOXO
This is one of the best posts EVER! Unfortunately, I am late to the dance and after all of your commentors, I’m pretty much left with nothing to say. They’ve taken the words right out of my mouth. Even so, I just want to repeat most of what they’ve said, even though they’ve said it much more eloquently than I ever could. But repetition I hear is a good thing when the memory is going, just so you get it burned into your grey matter. ‘kay?
I think you are amazing, brave, funny, real, talented, kind, clever, inspiring and I’m so blessed to have met you and am able to call you friend.
I rarely post about such things. You’ve reminded me though, that it is incredibly cathartic. (Thank you for that reminder. I needed it.) I have long been afraid to talk about the truly important things in my life. My father, health, depression and the gigantic pink elephant in a purple tutu wearing sport shorts emblazoned with gangster bling spelling DISSASSTER across her butt, that stands in the middle of my family’s living room of life. (I’ve had a long time to come up with my description of my own personal Nessie. (By the way, as you can also see, Nessie can’t spell…)
You know I’m all about the funny, but you give me strength to face the rest publicly. I will try to repay you in like kind, if I can. Until then, remember to celebrate the little things. Huge hugs (and a snotty handkerchief… you may thank me later)! 🙂
Ha – that’s funny! I was looking at the photo of ‘your team’ and thinking ‘that guy on the left looks just like the janitor from Scrubs!’ LOL!
Meleah, I take my hat off to you. I don’t have half the medical problems you do, and there are times I feel like an old lady with one foot in the grave. You deal with it with such humour and such a great spirit. Oh, sure, you cry sometimes. You wouldn’t be human otherwise, would you? But you know what? I honestly do think laughter is a great healer. Maybe it can’t solve all your million and one syndromes and conditions, but it can sure as hell make them easier to live with, huh?
Oh, and I had to do that shit-in-a-bucket thing. Talk about difficult! And I labelled the thing and handed it in and they lost the label and threw it away without testing so I flat out refused to do it again. I actually injured my back using their crappy buckety thing, put in a complaint about that & their inefficiency, and they altered their procedures. Score one tiny victory for the patient – but I never did find out whatever the heck the doctor wanted to know about my internal workings!!
Oh, Jay!! That’s because it IS Scrubs!! LOLZ.
Laughter is as essential as oxygen to me. Honestly. I would never be able to handle this, if I couldn’t find the funny.
Shitting-In-A-Bucket is HORRIBLE! Ugh. And then having to bring it back to the hospital. Talk about humiliating! They really need to invent a better way to check the poo!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
And you’re NOT late to the dance. I’ll be leaving this post up for a while. It took about week for me to write it and to get it *just right* so it’s staying on my home page for a hot minute.
I am thrilled to hear I’ve given you the strength to consider airing your issues online. Also, I hope you really DO decide to write ALL ABOUT that “gigantic pink elephant in a purple tutu wearing sport shorts emblazoned
with gangster bling spelling DISSASSTER across her butt, that stands in the middle of my family’s living room of life.”
And I hope you write it on your blog.
Because I PROMISE it WILL make you feel better. It will free you.
*pinky swear*
I do have many allergies, but none of them life threatening like yours. Most are due to chemicals and additives in food. It’s no real problem to me, as I have very minor symptoms compared to you.
I rarely post about serious things but I have written about Nessie before. I need some sleep before I dig deep for my next post. (pinky swear? ok. That makes me think I can (almost) be as brave as you. Let me get it ‘just the way I want it’) 🙂
Wow! The things you “put up” with and find the funny! Truly inspiring!
Does Benadryl help take away your puffy jaw?
I’m relieved to know your allergic reactions are easy to cope with and go away quickly!
XOXOXO
DO IT!! I’ll be right here, cheering you on!
You are such a fighter Mel. I can’t imagine having any fight left in me if I were to go through the things you go through, over and over again. Your body may be trying to convince you that you’re weak, but you’re not. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known.
Somewhere in all of these health issues, somewhere in all of this TMI, there is a purpose. Not that I have to tell you that. So many of your other readers have already told you so. But I’m guessing you didn’t need any of us to point it out.
Love ya! Sending virtual hugs to you!
I’ve never taken anything for it. It goes down on it’s own quite quickly. I am thankful, that even though my allergies are a real pain to live with, they are NOT life threatening, like yours.
Thank you, so much, Terri.
I am exhausted from “being strong” but, hopefully, one day, all of this WILL serve a purpose.
For now, it’s brought me closer to my family & my friends, and it’s taught me how to cherish every single second when I am having a “good day” – especially since there are so few of them!
Oh thankgoodness!
I like to save all of these things together because I am OCD like that. This is an email I received regarding this post:
“Hi Meleah! I just wanted to tell you that I just finished reading your blog post, and even though I knew some of it because we became friends right before your colonoscopy, I was humbled and so amazed by all the things I learned about you. You are a TROOPER girl, and thank God your sense of humor never leaves you. You inspire me, make me laugh and I want to read every word of every experience you have ~ good and bad ~ because you make me less afraid of all the scary stuff out there we have to face whether we like it or not. You’re living proof that family, friends and a WTF attitude can get you through lots of shit in life. I meant that literally, so please feel free to take it that way Sending you a great big hug and hoping maybe one day I’ll get to deliver one in person!”
I also have many health issues and I have a couple people who tell me that I share way too much information online about it (blog and Facebook)…but you know what…if not for people who share way too much information – how do people know what to expect and what is okay? When I go seaching online – I’d rather read someone’s first-hand experience with it rather than a legal-typed blurb saying one line symptoms.
I say it’s great you (and others) share TMI…because, without TMI…those people without any stomach for hearing or reading anything..would be walking around complaining about something else. It’s good to give people TMI…it helps to give them some damned perspective in their perfect little lives.
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“I’d rather read someone’s first-hand experience with it rather than a legal-typed blurb saying one line symptoms.”
Exactly, Mariann.
Exactly.
XOXOXO
I think it’s been almost seven years since I stumbled onto this blog, so I feel like I’ve watched it all evolve. You know even if I’ve not said much (sometimes for long periods of time because of my own crap), I’ve always kept an eye on you. You’re one of the very few people I’ve ever known who can make me laugh and cry all at the same time. I think you’re amazing. I have always felt that way. Say whatever you want, write it, take photos, make a video — share, share, share. Who gives a shit about TMI? You’re keeping it real and that’s why I love you. And since I think I’m old enough to stand in the MOM line, I’m also sending you crushing hugs (but I’ll wear a mask and sanitize everything first, okay?) Give ’em hell, girly.
KellyPea,
First of all, I LOVE YOU. I love you so very much.
Secondly, thank you, for ALWAYS looking out for me, and standing by my side, for these past seven years.
And I happily accept that crushing and sanitized hug!
XOXOXO
Damn, I really had a hard time with this and know I didn’t do near so well as you, but if I don’t stop fixing ‘little things’ I’m going to end up a lunatic. So FOR YOU, Meleah (and anyone else brave enough?): http://lemonademadedaily.blogspot.com/2013/01/its-not-always-about-funny.html
I am on my way over RIGHT NOW!
Mel,
What can I say that hasn’t been said tenfold by everyone else? First of all, you are the Queen of TMI. I once thought you were pretty daring to lay it all out there to the world, but I have come to realize I don’t have half the balls you do to tell your story and still make it funny. I think I would have killed someone by now. All of my problems/complaints are trivial in comparison. Leave it to Mel to make a colonoscopy sound like fun.
I am like a few others, I keep reading your saga and laughing at the same time and feeling bad that I am enjoying your trauma. I salute your bravery and fortitude in the face of all these challenges. And to keep your wicked sense of humor is a testament to your strength. I only wish I could carry your load for a day or two, but I am not sure I could handle it as well as you have. You may not feel it right now but in my book you are an amazingly strong person with one hell of a story. I agree with Daisy, if you wrote down your saga on all your issues, you’d have a hell of a story. Remember, while you might be feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, you have an army of friends behind you who’s got your back. And I’ll be thinking of you and your Super Bowel Party this weekend.
I never want you to feel badly for laughing while reading this! NEVER!
“while you might be feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders, you have an army of friends behind you who’s got your back”
And I am SO VERY thankful to have people, like YOU, Agg, on that army!
You’ve been such a loyal reader and you’ve become such a good friend to me.
Thank you, with my whole heart, for being here with me, throughout all of this.
just came by to give you a virtual hug. wait, maybe i should bow, you are the queen after all.
I am lost for words, your one hell of a great person.
Your posting is honest and from the heart. I admire you greatly and the fact that we will never meet is my loss.
You take care.
I love you, Val! xoxoxox
You are my hero. MY HERO. I am so moved by this Meleah. SO MOVED. I have been freaking out about my steroid epidural next Tuesday… huge needle that stays in my back while they put a tube through it… pumping steroids in to my spine. Then I saw your video and I am FINE with Tuesday. Piece of cake. I almost started counting how many needles were in your arms. What I am getting is NOTHING. This was a great reality check. I wish I could help you in some way… even if it was to sit with you and make you laugh. You are AMAZING, girlie. Truly my hero!
Aw…….Katherine!!
Thank you.
Also, I am wishing, hoping, and praying, YOUR procedure is quick and painless and provides much relief for you! XOXOXO
Thanks.
testing
Oh, Meleah, you are one tough chick. I wish I could give you a hug – we all need one. You have made me laugh and cry…lots of love flowing your way!
Awwww…. Thank you, Pat! XOXOXO
This post KICKED ASS, Meleah!
I bow to your awesomeness as the Queen of TMI. But, seriously… you still haven’t explained how you can look so freakin’ fabulous all of the time! Even in the midst of full anaphylactic bloom, you look gorgeous!
YOU KICK ASS, Paula!!
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Thank you for saying that!
I don’t feel very pretty these days.
XOXOXO
We need to get you a crown. Seriously. You are the queen and have the pictures of you sitting on the throne to prove it. Now all you need is the crown.
Ok, for real now. You are strong and you are brave and you are funny and smart as hell. I think I’ve told you this before, but you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. Your illness does not define you. Your intelligence, your heart and your unbelievable strength and humour in the face of so many challenges are the things that define you.
I love you sofa king much, sweet thing. xoxoxo
Nicky, I cannot thank you enough for reminding me that my illnesses do NOT define me as a person. And I cannot thank you enough for your incredibly kind words. I love you too.
This was NOT an easy post to write, I feel more vulnerable and exposed than ever. But I needed to do it. If only to help take away the shame & humiliation that goes hand in hand with these annoying medical conditions.
I am very thankful to have a friend like you, in my life.
XOXOXO
This is my first visit to your blog. We Work For Cheese’s February challenge brought me here. I learned very quickly why they call you the Queen of TMI. This post was heartbreaking, and funny, and touching, and fantastic, and oddly uplifting all at the same time. My mundane problems suddenly feel very small, but I’m uplifted by the reminder that the human spirit is truly capable of coping with so much. Bless you, Meleah. You truly are one tough chick. You’re also kind of awesome.
Why thank you, KZ! It’s nice to meet you too. 🙂
I honestly don’t know what to say with this post, outside of you may be one of the strongest people I have come across. This was amazingly well written and detailed. Keep up the fight.
Thank you PJ. Thank you very much!
I watched the whole video hoping for footage of the sweaty vagina, but no luck.
Yes, I’m just that pervy.
So now I have to be serious for a minute. *heavy sigh*
Meleah, the thing I like about you — the one big thing I have always liked about you — is that you’re brutally honest and open, and at the same time loving and funny. Perhaps you fear the dreaded TMI. But I’m not sure TMI is a real concept. Sometimes I think it’s just a construct cowardly people impose on reality to avoid dealing with unpleasant subjects we all know exist but don’t have the moral fiber to face. That you are willing to shatter that illusion using yourself as the test subject says a lot about the depth and strength of your character. That you try and often succeed to do it with a smile, says a lot about your spirit.
I’m very happy to know you, Meleah. You may feel deeply discouraged. Maybe on this day or that day. Lately, maybe every day. But to me, you’re a constant encouragement in a discouraging world. A symbol of what is possible.
MWJ –
Thank you SO VERY MUCH for taking the time to read this monster blog post AND for watching the video. I will try to get sweaty vagina shots, just for you, the next time I make a movie.
Also, thank you for your kind words. They really mean a lot to me.
*eyes welling with tears*
I am very happy to know you as well. In fact, I am honored to call you my friend.
Thank you again, for everything.
Always.
PS: I’m glad you have your face back again!
🙂
I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through all of this. I remember having to prep for a colonoscopy years ago and ended up not being able to finish all the drink. I felt so sick to the point of throwing up. That was far worse than the procedure itself. Really all you can do is keep your humor about you when dealing with this kind of crap. Take care of yourself and try to keep laughing.
Oh yes.
The prep is MUCH worse than the actual colonoscopy!
Thank you for stopping by, Jen!
And I will do my best to ALWAYS keep my sense of humor. Especially when it comes to things like this!