(Part One is HERE)
Well, where do I begin? I received a phone call yesterday at work. That went a little something like this:
ME: “Meleah Hawthorne, May I help you?”
Receptionist from Doctors Office: [and I am quoting word.for.word.] “Hello, Meleah? Your blood test results are in. There are severe abnormalities. The doctor needs to see you right away to discuss the results. How fast can you get here?”
[insert long pause and rational thinking a major internal panic attack]
ME: “I am at work right now, Um, wait…I don’t get out of the office until 4:30…I work an hour away from your office.”
[I was stunned. The words ‘severe abnormalities’ rang in my ears.]
R: “Please hold.”
[insert elevator music, a mental state of distress, and thoughts like What.The.Fuck.]
R: “The doctor will stay late to accommodate your schedule, he really needs to see you; can you get here by 6:15pm?”
ME: “Yes.”
R: “Great, we will see you then.”
Click.
Then. I remained completely calm went full forced drama queen and started F-R-E-A-K-I-N-G out.
I could not work. I could not pay attention. I could not focus. My mind was racing in 25,789,641,532 directions. All I could hear in my head was the receptionists voice, over and over…
‘The doctor needs to see you right away.’ [ Right.Away. ? ] ‘Severe abnormalities.’ [What does that even mean?] ‘The doctor will stay late to accommodate your schedule; he really needs to see you.’ [ I must be really special That CAN NOT be a good thing!]
I sat at my desk wondering what the hell could be wrong with me now? [Why is it that when I am faced with uncertainty I go directly to the negative?] I called my mother, who called my father, who called me. Emails were sent out. Other calls were made. My whole family went on red alert.
[I am not a lone drama queen.]
After my boss somehow caught wind of the phone call I received, he approached my desk and told me to “Go.” “Now.” ….”Leave.Get to your doctors office and find out what is wrong.”
I don’t really remember driving on the NJTPK. I remember that she was unusually forgiving with traffic as I made my way past each exit.
I spent the drive contemplating imagining all of the worst case scenarios. I have always had an over-active imagination. I can scare myself to the point of no return. Since I don’t know too much about blood diseases or disorders, ignorant and terrified, I went down that dangerous path of “What If’s”, accompanied with a slice of hysteria.
What if it’s Leukemia, or Cancer, or AIDS, Or… Or…Or…
I called the receptionist to let her know that I was able to leave my office early, thus I was already on my way. Her reply, “Good, its better that you come now.”
It’s better that I come now?
[insert every conceivable fear multiplied by seventeen million]
In a last ditch effort to remain calm; I called one of my closest friends BFD. Thankfully, he managed to provide some sort of distraction. He stayed on the phone with me for the longest 45 minute drive of my life.
Yes, I was that asshole on my cell phone, while driving, and, blindly changing lanes this afternoon. [sorry.other.drivers.]
By a sheer miracle, I arrived at my doctors office without causing any accidents or veering off into oncoming traffic. I was also smelling of roses dripping with sweat.
I did not even have to wait in the waiting room. I was brought right into the examination room.
Of course, I thought, I was the center of the universe this could not be a good sign either.
When? Have you ever been to the doctors office and didn’t have to wait? For a specialist.
I glanced at the desk and saw my chart already opened and the paperwork spread out. I had to look. I saw a long list of foods with the words Abnormal and Class next to them.
Two seconds later the doctor entered the room. I jumped onto the exam table, crinkling the sanitary paper. Pretending like I hadn’t just been rifling through my chart.
Doctor: “Hi Meleah. How are you?”
Me: “Nervous.”
Doctor: “Don’t be nervous. Everything is fine.”
Me: “Fine?”
Doctor: “Okay, it looks like you have a very. VERY. Low. White Blood Cell Count. [he paused] And, you certainly have anemia. [second pause, scribbled notes in my chart]. I am going to have to send you for more test. A full CBC. (Complete Blood Count). I also want to run some tests for your liver because of the amount of medications you are currently taking.”
Me: “What does all of that mean?”
Doctor: “A low white blood cell count means that your immune system can’t fight off infections like healthy people can. There may be something more, or, there may be nothing. [please be NOTHING.] That’s why we will run more tests. These are normal tests. I am surprised your GI Doctor hasn’t ordered some of these.”
Me: “I have been getting the feeling that he is not such a great GI Doctor for awhile now.”
Doctor: “Let me refer you to another GI Doctor. One that I know and trust.”
Me: “Oh. Kay.”
[an exchange of business cards and information about how Crohn’s and Food Allergies go hand in hand. Followed by all kinds of boring medical jargon and a long conversation about how food is digested and the reactions my body has to it.]
Doctor: “Now, let’s look at these food allergies. Wow. You have quite a few.”
[Insert Drum Roll]
In addition to strawberries and mustard, which I knew about years ago, I would now like to welcome to my family of foods to fear as follows:
[FYI: The higher the Class, the more severe the Allergy. Classes are 0-6 (6 being the highest) Most people are Classes 1 and 2.]
Broccoli – Class 3
Corn (and all corn products) – Class 3
Orange – Class 3
Chocolate [WHY!] – Class 2
Tomato [But I am Italian!] – Class 4
Almond – Class 4
Oat – Class 3
Peanut – Class 4
Pecan Nut – Class 3
Potato [potato?] – Class 3
Rye – Class 4
SoyBean – Class 3
Wheat – Class 4
Walnut – Class 3
Malt [?] – Class 3
Hazlenut [even flavored coffee] – Class 4
Gluten – Class 2
Brazil Nut – Class 3
I had NO IDEA that Wheat and Gluten were DIFFERENT. Did any of you?
The wheat and gluten didn’t surprise or upset me, because with Celiac I cant eat them anyway. I have since adjusted to that. [Even though I REALLY miss sandwiches. And bread. In general.]
But some of these? Are you kidding me? There is some kind of nut or corn, or wheat, potato, or coco extracts in almost E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
So, my doctor also referred a nutritionist to help develop a food specific diet for me. I don’t have the time to research every single label or every single website. I already spend way too much time on the internet. I want a professional to clearly draw a plan. A map. A guide. A menu.
I have been given a shopping list [not for shoes…booo] for supplements and vitamins because my body is severely lacking: Zinc, Iron, Potassium, B-12 and Vitamin D.
I am scheduled for more blood work. We need more specifics on that whole super low white blood cell count. And, more possible food allergies. Fuck. Me. I am not in the clear…yet.
The term ‘Severe Abnormalities’ has been translated to mean: subject to the Food Allergies, NOT the blood work. Right. Um…I think? That receptionist really needs to work on her delivery skills.
I have made a phone call for the new GI Doctor to work with this doctor.
I have been given a NEW SCRIPT called GastroCrom: (2 capsules of liquid must be mixed with an 8 oz. glass of water / 4 x a day). Every. Day.
Yep. More meds. More side effects.
*sigh*
(Hey….at least its not Leukemia or Cancer, or AIDS…Or…Or…Or)
Before I left, the doctor informed me that stress is one of the biggest triggers for all of my medical conditions. Then he asked me a question. “What are two things that cause the most stress in your life?” And, what could I do to eliminate them.
My answer? Easy.
1. My Job
2. My bills.
Yeh, sure. I could quit my job and move back home, into my parent’s house????
On the bright side I can eat all the fish I want. I can eat fish until I give myself Mercury poisoning.
My son, who is the greatest kid ever, did two things to brighten my mood.
1. He said (jokingly) “The next time some one asks me…Hey, how is your mom?… I am going to say, she can’t even eat a Milk Dud, how the fuck do you think she is doing?”
2. He also made a sign and hung it on the refrigerator door next to the long ass list of food allergy results. Just in case I happen to forget.
The new (3 page) list of food I must avoid eating, is going to take awhile to get used to. I have to keep the list in my purse (along with my Epi-Pen) until they are committed to memory. I have a lot of reading, research and labels to inspect.
In all honesty, in a way, I am almost glad I had that original reaction the way I did. I would have never found or went to this doctor. I feel like after all of these months and months and months of being sick…. that I am FINALLY on the right track to getting things under control?
Fingers. Crossed.
*Complete list of food allergies located below*
_my-allergies-to-food-.pdf
