*** As the ‘meme-o-rama-palooza’ continues this week ***
The Letter is a meme created by Malach the Merciless, which involves writing a letter to one’s 13 year old self. I have been tagged by Dawn @ Twisted Sister to write The Letter, and it’s probably one of the more interesting / tougher meme ideas I’ve ever encountered. So here we go…
(This meme was fairly difficult for me. Thus, there are 2 different ‘versions’ of The Letter. I wasn’t sure if I should just write to 13 Year Old Meleah, (and stay age specific) or, if I should have carried the conversation all the way up through the years, right up until present day? I have no idea if I even did this meme properly. Both versions are included below.)
1. Age Specific:
Dear 13 Year Old Meleah,
Hey, wiseass.
You’re not that tough.
Why don’t you drink yourself a nice glass of ‘shut the hell up’ (loose the tude). And smarten the fuck up.
Another little secret in your ear, you do NOT know everything.
Ps…Things are only going to get worse way before they ever get better.
—————————————-
2. Continued Up Through The Years:
Dear 13 Year Old Meleah,
Oh my…you certainly are an angry one. What a grand attitude. Although, I genuinely appreciate the: strong-willed-ever-so-determined-stubborn-never-give-up-fighter that is you.
The unfortunate pain that fills you with such rage and true disdain, is – at best, frightening. I can see you…circling the drain, out of control, desperate and ashamed. For that, I am sorry.
Things might seem pretty bad to you right now. And I guess, from where you’re standing, they are. You have already been through so much in your short little life. Now that you are separated from your mother and your best friend younger brother, while locked up on a mountain in Whitmore CA, within the strict confines of *The Cascade School, may seem like the end of the world.
However, I assure you…it is not.
You will need every bit of courage and strength you can muster to make it through the next few years. The intensity of ‘dishes-detail’, ‘workshops’, ‘celebrations’, and ‘forums’ will be terrifying. Facing, dealing, and repeatedly talking about your ‘biological father issues’ in graphic detail, will tear apart your very insides.
But, those experiences will be essential and quite necessary for your future survival. Eventually the lessons learned at Cascade will do you some good. I promise.
In the meantime, stay close to your ‘big sister’ Leslie. She knows just how to get through ‘The Program’…and she will remain your best friend for the rest of your life.
Never loose sight of who you really are. Please hold on TIGHTLY to this little girl when you find her in ‘The Imagine’. One day, she will persevere. She will be the one to stop you from crossing that invisible line leading to the point of no return.
(Please be forewarned…the experiences at The Cascade School, will pale in comparison to anything you will have to face well into your adulthood).
There are going to be a series of harsh events, one right after the other, in your very near future. Events I wish I could prevent. But we both know what an unstoppable force you are. Nonetheless, I suppose all of those ‘things/events’ will define the strong and powerful woman you will one day become. (I just wish the road ahead didn’t have to be paved with so many bumps, bruises, scars, potholes, land-mines, and sharp, cutting, jagged glass).
You must maintain the diligence you currently have with your daily journaling. That is the one and only single source of comfort and the one and only constant you have inside your world. (Besides, one day in the future ‘they’ will invent something called a “blog.” Believe me when I say, you will revel in laughter, tears, kinship, camaraderie, glory, and monumental friendships from the moment you write your first post.)
FYI: You will never find happiness at the bottom of any bottle or in any of the multitude of substances you will abuse. No One and No Thing will ever be able to “fix you”.
When you finally grow tired (and you will grow incredibly weary) you will be ready to stop running, you will be ready to stand still, and much to your surprise…your family will be waiting with open arms to receive you.
You will come to terms with what is required to surrender and how to accept the love that is offered to you. You will regain your trust in man kind, and even welcome human contact. Only then, will all of those broken pieces be put back together to make you whole again.
You will learn that not everything has to be a battle. There is a big difference between ‘fighting’ and ‘standing your ground’. It just might take you a little time to learn how to use the correct platform.
There is a bright side to all of this.
And one day…you will even have the boobs you always wanted.
*PS….While you are on the road, in search of yourself, running away, hitch hiking cross country, and touring with The Grateful Dead…you MUST remember to call your MOTHER from time to time. Just to let her know you are still alive. Or else, you might end up in a milk carton as a ‘missing child’.
Much love to my brave little girl,
Your Future Self.
* For any new readers (curious or wondering) I have written some Posts that involve / include The Cascade School which can be found here:
And Just When I Wanted To Throw In The Towel
I Read It. And You should Too.
The Book Signing
*Fuck. That 2nd letter was TOUGH.
