Weekend

It’s Sunday afternoon, cloudy, and dreary, but unusually WARM. It’s NOVEMBER and I have my AIR CONDITIONING on….. What the hell!

This weekend, I did manage to FINALLY get my clothes to a DRY CLEANER (I have 5 pairs of pants and 5 tops that I haven’t worn in a YEAR because I never took them to the cleaners… that is procrastination people) and I did go to the bank to make that very important deposit so none of my checks will bounce.

I went out with friends last night and had a wonderful time up until I had to body check someone in the parking lot. (Inside story, not for “public”)

This morning when I woke up I was filled with the URGENT need to clean the whole house, and finish all the chores I couldn’t / didn’t do yesterday.

Now that all of my chores are done, and all my emails have been answered, time was well spent with friends, I have 4 hours, until my son comes home wherein I can fully dedicate to writing.

THANK YOU, Leslie, my big sister whom always puts things honestly and back into perspective for me, for that PERFECT comment, vote of confidence, and direction I so needed. I love you.

Off to write….

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FIRST INSTINCT

I never trust my OWN instincts, and every time it bites me in the ass….

I am going to write the book, the way it was intended to be written.
The same way I started the book, when it was just for me, when it was so natural to write.

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Ficton or Non-Fiction?

Ever have an UGLY day? You feel ugly; you look ugly, think and act ugly. That’s the kind of day I am having. (But I do like my outfit today… pink cargo corduroy pants and chocolate brown tee compliments of Abercrombie and Fitch)

Maybe it’s because my allergies and / or cold are making me runny, watery and itchy, so I feel gross. Maybe it’s because I haven’t slept or eaten properly in weeks? Maybe it’s because I have had a really hard week and I am just beaten down all together? Or, maybe it’s because I was up until 330am wrestling with ideas, and, for the first time, I am conflicted as to how to proceed with my book project?

I never began my little book project as a “fictional” genre; I never had any genre in mind to be quite honest. I didn’t have a target audience, I just wrote it because I had to. I was surprised at the responses from all the people who read the roughest of drafts. I just have a story, and I must tell it. So, How am I going to tell it?

FICTION OR NON-FICTION?

That’s the million dollar question, and I can’t make up my mind. So I am STUCK! While every word in the book is based on actual events that happened in my real life story, I wonder if I should I change the main character from myself to a fictional name/person?

hmm… here’s the dilemma

I don’t ever want to get sued, or “James Fray-ed” in writing this. I know there will be people (who already deny things in the book ever happened) that will contest the contents and events of the story. Yes, the names have been changed, dates, times, locations have been altered. But, if I say it’s just a completely fictional book, there is nothing to contest.

But, on the other hand, I don’t want to rob myself of my story. I am not ashamed of anything I have done. (I feel bad, sometimes even guilty, about a lot of it, in retrospect, but not ashamed) I don’t want to bury the truth or hide under a veil of disgrace.

Even though I have been told “how far I have come” and that some how has been translated into “clean up your act” to reflect the “accomplishments” I have made, and in order to keep up apperances, I should keep THAT stuff a “secret”.

Then, It has been suggested to me, that the book will carry more weight, if it is “based on a TRUE STORY.” And, if it is a fictional book, questions might be raised like why didn’t I have certain characters killed off, or, add other crazy or interesting twists?

If I write it as a fictional book, and people investigate my real life, they will see that most / if not all / of the book really DID happen. So, what’s the point in making it fiction?

Maybe, it will cause more “hype” if / when people try to find out what part is fictional, verses what part is truth?

soooo many questions, thoughts, ideas, confusion….

Yesterday, I was all set to change the book to fiction, in part because of my own fears, and in part, at the behest of my mother.

Last night, after a few emails from friends, all of which rejected the go-fiction concept, I had my book meeting.

It was decided that the book SHOULD be “BASED ON A TRUE STORY” because the EVENTS are REAL. But, I can say the characters / events are compilations of many people / events combined. Some of it happened to me, some of it didn’t, and some of the characters are three people’s stories into one.

Then, is it a fictional book, based on a true story? Or, is it a non-fiction book?

Does that make any sense? Am I making any sense?

Big sister Leslie, Al, Rodger, Mr. “O”, Male BFF, Mom & Dad, Adam & Traci, Lee& Maya, Rick & Bob… or any internet person, please comment or email me…. make suggestions, give me advice!

DISTRAUGHT:

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By request

By request you may CLICK HERE to view the song that BEST describes ME. I have another book mtg tonight at 730pm, and I finally decided on the main characters name. As I have mentioned before, my 10 year old son JCH, says some blog worthy comments from time to time:

JCH’s quote of the day, “Mom, they should make a new show, instead of HOUSE… and call it APARTMENT.”

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House last night?

ANYONE SEE, House last night?? SOOO Disturbing, yet, I couldn’t look away …thank you FOX, for giving me one night a week to look forward too!!!

And, tonight I will contuine my intense love affair with Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock…thank you NBC

OOOH man, damn NO ALEC tonight… Biggest Loser “special” episode…

Oh well, I could use the time to work out my issues with Chapter two!!

Or, read up on some of my favorite other people blogs.

Posted in TV and Movies | 1 Comment

Highlight of today: I didnt think I would have an…

Highlight of today: I didnt think I would have anything to say for a while, especially after another HARD LESSON learned, however, JCH always says something WORTHY of Blogging, so, here it is:

I asked JCH, my 10 year old son, “How are things going in school these days?”

His response was : “Im sorry, but all questions must be written down”

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Medication Hangover

Slow witted, quite irritable, rather tired, hard to focus, feel like I am still sleeping, TOUGH Day

Posted in Strong Medicine | 1 Comment

Weekend

Friday night:
gluttony or self punishment (either one applicable)

Saturday/night:
writing, doctors appts, writing, editing, writing, loving book, hating book, throwing book, picking book back up, rewriting, re-organizing, re-structuring, writing, rewriting, copy – pasting, sick of retyping…. Writing, editing, rewriting, …

(No phone, no TV, no IM, no email… friends probably hate me, (or worried about me)…I am a bad “friend” that has not returned a phone call, message, while I am alive and well…. I have been and will continue to ignore / neglect my friends, when it comes to writing… sorry people, any and all “free time” wherein I have energy / desire to write I must grab hold of and use to my advantage… and we are back to a familiar theme aren’t we… ME, ME, ME, ME…)

Sunday/night:
cleaned house, did all the chores, spent JCH alone time, lit the scented candles, took a bubble bath, wore pjs for 24hours in a row…. Calm, happy, refreshed….

Writing, rewriting, editing, re-organizing, re-structure, made decisions and changes that were impossible to make, frustration… took a break because I was starving and needed to eat.

And that’s when I had a sudden onset of an intestinal attack. Mom and Dad stopped by my house with a surprise gift from my sister-in-law, on their way back from Adam & Traci’s house, only to find me writhing in familiar pain and I was out of all my medications. My mom immediately called my GI doctor who immediately phoned in prescriptions to the 24 hour pharmacy. Then my mom called AL to cancel my 730 book meeting, while my dad rushed out to go and pick up my medications… after 60 minuets I was provided some relief of symptoms. Still in lingering pain, which I hope will subside by morning. This is annoying. I just want to eat a meal and not suffer in pain. Looks like another week of broth for me until inflammation is back under control.

Next week, I am going to wholefoods, to stock fridge full of organic, non processed, safe and easy to digest food… HOPEFULLY that will help.

Missed my book meeting, so I am very disappointed / upset over that. Missed time to work on the book, disappointed with that.

However, over the weekend I did get several complimentary emails from my critics / friend on the rewrite of chapter one. That is the highlight of this weekend.

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HAPPY FRIDAY

Just for FUN today… no big heavy post…

(PS: This was ‘ME’ last week when JCH wasn’t
doing his homework…)

ADHD cure

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NanoWrimo

1) I WANT TO BE a serious writer, and, 2) As a serious writer, I will not have time for dating, going out, email, IM, phone calls, TV, games, or even household chores until December.

Here is MY PROFILE meleahrebeccah

This writing “project” was sent to me by my real life younger brother ADAM, and my “big sister.”

However, I have been told by a FEW people to keep my “book” off of the internet.

While I trust my big sister and her judgement, I am not sure I should POST my “book” here?

Since I am all consumed with the book project, I won’t have time to take on another writing project just for the month of November’s Writing Contest.

HMM.. anyone have any suggestions?

Should I post ‘THE BOOK’ in this site?

Posted in Writing | 4 Comments