disregard the post below…

Posted on February 13, 2007 by meleah rebeccah

Please? disregard the post below…I realized I’m an idiot! Thanks DRAMA DIVA for the compliment…in the comments section! I will not be posting a new somethin’ somthin’ this evening as I will be memorized by television. Two of the best shows in the same night! HOUSE and AMERICAN IDOL! I live for Tuesdays! And yes, during the commercials I will be a movie-making-fiend.

OH! ALRIGHT… I can’t…. NOT POST… here, chew on this…

Remember ? this ?…. THE GEEK SQUAD

I thought I was bad; I really did, when it came to computers.

I thought I was bad…until, now…I was chatting with my girlfriend Patty (who is a ‘real life’ friend that reads my blog all the time and never comments and never even sends me an email to use as a comment…bee-atch). We were talking about life, her new fantastic man, and my blog. Patty, god bless her heart and soul, I could not love her more than I already do, but, she is the least computer literate person ALIVE.

Picture this… Patty, in her new apartment, on her new computer, in front of her new man, reading my blog… in fact she was reading THE GEEK SQUAD entry. When she saw the “FAKE / FUNNY ERROR” messages, Patty thought she was getting REAL ERROR messages on her computer. She had an internal panic attack, because something ? was WRONG with her computer? Rather than asking the super computer knowledgeable fantastic new man in the living room with her, what ? might be ? the problem ? She went ahead and started unplugging the wires from her keyboard, her mouse, and her monitor. But the “error messages” wouldn’t go away…(being fake and part of my posted entry and all…)

That’s when new fantastic man decided to see what the hell Patty was doing over there. Why ? was she fussing do much with all the wires? What ? is wrong?

“Can I help you?” Says, totally unsuspecting new fantastic man

“Yes? Please?” Says, a desperate Patty… “I am trying to read Meleah’s blog, but, there’s something wrong? why ? are there all these ERROR messages? I don’t understand. I can’t fix it?”

He looks at the screen, he reads the error message(s), he laughs to himself, being a polite gentleman, and then asks her to READ THE ERROR message OUTLOUD.

So, she does, “It says, the problem exists between the chair and the computer screen…”

New Fantastic Man says, “Patty, what ? is in-between the CHAIR and the COMPUTER?”

“The Mouse…. but, I unplugged that already, the mouse can’t be the problem, it’s working fine…”

Thankfully, Patty was interrupted by New Fantastic Man

“Patty, what ELSE is in-between the chair and the computer?” while he slowly pointed his finger at the chair first …stopping for a second at her, giving her a HINT , and then pointing at the computer.

“Oh!” (pause)

“It’s me?” (still half sure)

“Wait?” (figuring it out)

“It IS me!” (finally)

“Oh!” … “Oh! My! GOD!” (sheer embarrassment)

“It’s a Joke?” (still half sure)

“It IS a JOKE!” (finally)

Needless to say they laughed a good 15 minutes after that.

I love you Patty! I didn’t post any “error messages” on this entry to save you from any further confusion, complications and/or embarrassing moments!

Posted in TV and Movies | 10 Comments

Posting from an ungodly hour

Posted on February 12, 2007 by meleah rebeccah

pissed the fuck off….and gunna regret this one in the morning.

In the middle of editing, transitioning, choosing photos, hacking videos, running out of computer storage space, cursing the heavens above for not magically providing me a hard drive, thus deleting other precious moments from the ever-so-limited and oh!-so-over-used “disk space” this MAC comes with… and…LACKING TIME I NEED TO DO THE THINGS I WANT… my “creativity” has been shut the fuck down…no, it’s being snuffed out.

While in the middle of perfect lyric to photo, ratio, during the production of the birthday movie dedication to my baby brother Adam…who just turned 30.

I have been shut ! the ! fuck ! down !

My creativity streak has been snuffed out.

WHY?

Because I have to go to bed.

Because I am a responsible adult, that has a job to go to in the morning.

I don’t want to go to bed.

I’d rather stay with the streak, feeling, passion, creative surge I am experiencing. I know it would lead to some amazing ‘turn of phrase’ if I had that chance.

Alas, instead of writing, I am side tracked, (surprise!) by the need to make the birthday movie dedication to my baby brother Adam…who just turned 30.

This making movies business is hard! As! Hell! (and really really really fun)

I was there for all of his birthdays, when we were little. Until, well, I was elsewhere.

Even when I was in the same state, I missed other birthday’s…well, because I was intoxicated / high out-of-my-skull- begging for crack in the alley-way(s) of shady neighborhoods at age(s) 20 something.

I was the proverbial “white-girl” in a Russian Sable Fur Coat, with smeared mascara and Grey Goose breath…. having no business being in that town…ever.

So…..now that I have busted my ass, proven, driven, worked, prayed, slaved and changed my life, in every way shape or form, consistently, for FIVE YEARS in . a . row. So I could show up for my own life, plus, be a part of my families lives… it’s a blessing I was able to be a part of even seeing my brother, my childhood best friend, turn 30.

I want to make the greatest movie in his honor. I can make the greatest movie in his honor, with the capabilities I have.

BUT……..I can’t with the TIME / LACK of FUNDS $$ I have.

I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong … I could be in a lot tougher places…and I have been.

I’m just having one of those moments. The kind of moment when I wish I wasn’t restricted to time constraints. The kind of moment when I wish money, needing money, having to do great job to earn money, didn’t CRUSH what I want, need, have, to do.

Sorry Internet… I’m full of venom once again, where ? else ? to spew ?

Now…let’s try to fall asleep feeling bitter, resentful and wondering WHY? do I work so hard? When I cant ENJOY or LIVE life?

Blah!

New post? in the morning? When I spend the next few hours tossing in bed, and rationalizing about the truths of THIS situation….

I was allowed, invited, and welcomed to even GO to his birthday. Things could be worse, way worse. I am lucky to have ANYTHING AT ALL.

If it takes a week, two weeks, three weeks to make the movie, in the perfectionist fashion I do everything anymore…then so be it.

At least I CAN make it. No matter how long it takes.

It is more important to GO TO BED and GO TO WORK and do a GOOD JOB.

After all, THAT is what HOLDS me TOGETHER.

Posted in Life | 8 Comments

MOMMA MIA, MEA CULPA

Posted on February 11, 2007 by Meleah

People ask me all the time WHY? did I choose? that name as my blog title

So, If ya don’t know? here ya go…

MOMMA:
When my son was little, he never called me mom, or mommy. He always called me “momma”

MIA:
When I was little I called my grandmother Manga (who passed away this last mothers day of althzhiemers) So, since I made up a name for her, she made up a nickname for me, Mia. As I grew into a teenager I was always Missing In Action, so MIA was / sometimes even now is / still applicable.

MEA CULPA:
Is Latin for: “my fault” or “my own fault”. In order to emphasize the message, the adjective “maxima” may be inserted, resulting in “mea maxima culpa,” which would translate as “my most [grievous] fault.”

The “mea culpa,” as the Confiteor has come to be known popularly, is not simply a confession of sins, but rather an admission of one’s flawed nature and the willingness to make amends for it.

…and as you have all READ, I have said, and done many things that get me into situations that are my own damn fault, and this BLOG is an admission of my flawed nature…

So, there you have it. Know you now.

Momma Mia,Mea Culpa

(BFD & LESIE HAD A HAND IN THE PLAY ON WORDS)

*Now, yesterday, I had a GREAT time with my family, for my brother’s 30th birthday. I have a ton of picures and video to “work with” so….I will be building a new movie in Adam’s honor. Hope to have it finished by the end of the week!*

Posted in Technology | 4 Comments

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY BROTHER ADAM!!!

Posted on February 10, 2007 by Meleah

I’LL BE SPENDING THE DAY IN P.A., WITH MY FAMILY CELEBRATING MY BROTHER ADAM’S BIRTHDAY THE BIG 3-0 !

Posted in Family | 4 Comments

I never get to be a momma much these days.

Posted on February 10, 2007 by Meleah

I never get to be a momma much these days. I am always a mom, but I don’t get to be a momma, ever since the day JCH turned all of 10 (“Mom, I am almost 11”, said JCH in the background every day.)

Moms are responsible, clean, cook, check to make sure homework is done, and hand out punishments when piss poor attitudes need adjusting.

Mommas get to take care, coddle, and nurture a sick and / or a wounded child that wouldn’t normally let you three feet into his room.

So, when Friday morning rolled around at 7am, I was summoned to my son’s bathroom, (which by the way has been off limits to me if he is in there, for privacy reasons) I knew something was wrong.

He didn’t look too good, with a flushed red face (his pre-teen-looking face looked more like his baby face to me again) as he sat desperate on the bowl asking me to provide some relief.

“Momma…my stomach hurts… I don’t feel good… I need a drink of water….”

“Okay buddy, hold on…”

The minute he was finished drinking the water… that’s when the vomit-fest began. All over the rug, all over his pajama pants, and…..all over me, as I tried to rush a trash can underneath his face.

He didn’t cry. I held his head, grabbed a cool washcloth placed it on the back of his neck and rubbed his back.

“Momma, I don’t think I can go to school?” His voice quivering.

“You’re not going anywhere buddy. Hang on okay…?”

I called my office, his school, my mother, and my father, while in the bathroom with JCH keeping an eye on the thermometer in his mouth rising above 101.

A few more sips of water and another round of puke mess, it was time to strip down the germ-infested clothes, and got a bubble bath ready. (baths, are another thing 10 year olds don’t do anymore…. “Mom, I shower now…”)

Once I knew the bulk of hurling had passed, I helped him take off yucky wet, nasty-ness, and into bubble tub good-ness.

While he leaned back in the water, I tossed everything in to the laundry and headed back into bathroom with my sick baby.

I was allowed to hang out in there with him! I was allowed to TAKE CARE of him. Running soothing washcloth water over his head, dispensing Tylenol, and giving him words of comfort.

45 minutes later, time to get out of the tub, I wrapped him up in a towel like you swaddle a newborn.

I put fresh pajamas on my baby, tucked him into bed, and read him a story until he fell asleep.

Even though I have been a mom for quite some time now, some things never change, like strange uncontrollable fears.

What? If? while he’s sleeping and he has to throw up again? but he doesn’t wake up? And he chokes on it? And he dies? Like Jimmy Hendrix?

So… I stayed in his room the whole time and watched him sleep.

Overprotective? Much?

Three hours later he woke up and I gave him another dose of Tylenol. (yeah, I know your supposed to wait 6 hours in-between doses, but WHY? wait? for the fever to COME BACK? when you can keep the FEVER down! if you give the Tylenol every FOUR hours instead?)

That’s when we shifted from his bedroom, to the living room. I opened up the sofa bed. For some reason, he loves the sofa bed. So… when he’s sick, he gets “special” treatment.

I gave him pedialite, and jello. We watched cartoon network all day together, cuddled up, under covers, and a massive amount of pillows.

He even let me “kiss him” with my magical momma powers to make him “feel better”

After a full day of cuddles, jello, saltine crackers, toast with jelly, rest and cartoons….By 7pm, he was feeling sooooooooooooooo much better.

Even well enough to play games with me. We played old games, the same games we played when he really was little. Clue Jr., WAR and GO FISH.

Which….. I lost… as usual

Then…WAR and GO FISH with my favorite playing cards in the world…

………. And, I LOST both of those games too….

I gave him one last dose of Tylenol at 9pm, and let him stay on the sofa bed for the night with his favorite comedian Lewis Black playing on HBO ON DEMAND to fall asleep to.

(besides the sofa bed is closer to my room then his bed room, so I could check on him more often through out the night…which of course, my paranoid self did, about 25 times.)

We are all feeling better today and JCH has been symptom and fever free. Thank god! It was a 24 hour kind of bug!

Posted in Family | 8 Comments

FOR ANYONE ELSE WONDERING:

Posted on February 9, 2007 by Meleah

I received several emails today like this one:

Dear M:

Hey! Where’s the blog?? I guess I must be getting addicted. I miss the sucker. Hope you’re OK.
Al
…..

For everyone, THANKS for your emails! I’m great….. Jch is sick… I’m being super mom, and loving it… Will write all about it, and have it posted tomorrow!!

Thanks for checking / asking / wondering!

Momma Mia!

Posted in Family | 5 Comments

UM…WHOA… GUESS WHO DIED TODAY?

Posted on February 8, 2007 by Meleah

UM…WHOA… GUESS WHO DIED TODAY

On a totally different topic; I went to work today, I took care of a lot of things on my desk, when I should have stayed home and taken care of myself. I am exhausted. Too exhausted to craft up a funny, witty, photo filled array of goodness for ya’ll, besides, I’d like to read OTHER PEOPLE tonight and catch up on their blogs!

Plus, it’s day ONE of the chicken broth only diet which would make for a post that says… I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry, fuck its cold, and I’m hungry, over and over and over again. Or, complaining about how my non-existent ass is shrinking even more

Speaking of ASS….I wonder if I can convince my office to install a bidet in the powder room? Or? Ask them if I can have the same “office set-up” that I have in my own bathroom featured in the other post below?

Running to the bathroom in-between quoting accounts is very stressful. Wondering, hoping and praying that I make it on time to the bathroom is WORK I tell you. So is the embarrassing aroma I leave behind for the next individual. I am bringing my own Fabreze in tomorrow

Seriously, I need to figure out a way? to explain? to my boss and the office manager the benefits of me working from HOME! the benefits for everyone!

Posted in Life | 11 Comments

“Working” with Crohn’s

Posted on February 7, 2007 by Meleah

Recently, I have had TWO Crohn’s Attacks.

When you know you are going to be stuck in the bathroom for 6 hours in a row, but there is too much WORK to be done, may I suggest,

“Working, with Crohn’s………………..”

YUP! That’s ME…. (I have NO shame!)

How HOT! Is THAT! Hmm? Am I sexy NOW?

(Well that was me on this past Saturday)

Yes, I am WORKING, on things for the office. While trapped on the bowl and suffering through a Crohn’s attack. I didn’t have 6 hours of time to waste, sitting in there. So…. I decided to WORK anyways. I brought in my portable desk, the ever so kick ass MAC computer, and my sensitive baby wipes.

I could deal with things on Saturday, because I wasn’t experiencing any of the PAIN that sometimes accompanies an attack. Even though I was stuck there, fuck it! Lets make the best of it! I was pretty damn productive too.

I also discovered that my bathroom; seems to be the SAFE-ZONE, for my computers wireless network. While in the bathroom with MAC, when my phone rang, I didn’t get kicked off the Internet! I didn’t loose what I was working on!

From now on, if I am using my computer and my phone rings, I run into the bathroom with my computer before I answer the phone, thus preserving my Internet Wireless Connection. Who knew? !

Today, however, is a MUCH different story.

I was awaken at 430am, with violent – stabbing – shooting – cramping, almost labor pains. The all too familiar long hours ahead of me, writhing in pain, while my body evacuated fire-water. Until, I left the bathroom at 930am.

An experience like that is draining; it leaves you literally hollow inside.

And it PISSES.ME.OFF.

I was so upset after missing another day of work, hysterical in fact, when I spoke to the G.I. doctor and was informed that since I have had two attacks again, my intestines are INFLAMED again, and I am back to a clear liquid diet of tea and broth for a few days, again.

What is bothering me THE MOST, is the fact that I didn’t even eat a meal WORTHY of constituting another attack.

I have been sooo good for the past few months. I have denied myself any of the foods that used to bring me so much pleasure. I miss burgers, steaks and Mexican food (which by the way was my most favorite food ever… hook me up with some kick ass quesadilla’s extra sour cream and guacamole and I am happier than a pig in shit.) But I know if I eat something like that, I wont be a happy as a pig in shit… I will just SHIT for days.

So, when I have an attack like this morning, because I ate a fucking salad, really sets me off.

The only way I can feel better about what happened is to write about it. Try to find something factual, and make it into a joke…

Hey I did break the world record for using the most toilet paper in a four-day span. I just bought a twelve pack of Charmin double rolls, which are now GONE.

When I called my father, “Daddy, can you please bring me more toilet paper on your way home from work tonight?” He busted out laughing. “Are you serious? (hehehehe) You used all that toilet paper…already?…. (hehehehe) I think you broke the worlds record! (heheheh) are you going to BLOG THAT?”

What could I do! I stopped crying for the first time all day and started laughing too.

Here’s to another crohn’s attack, days of liquid-only “meals” and disturbing images of me.

In the spirit of this post, and trying to make light of a “shitty-situation”

One joke:

Another new illness to watch out for!

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying
home because she is not feeling well.

“What’s the matter?” he asks.

“I have a case of anal glaucoma,” she says in a weak voice.

“What the hell is anal glaucoma?”

“I can’t see my ass coming into work today.”

I figured we needed a joke with the words anal and ass right about now

Posted in Strong Medicine | 20 Comments

Smoking

Posted on February 7, 2007 by Meleah

ANOTHER REASON WHY I STILL SMOKE, I’D GET FIRED … SO REALLY, I SMOKE TO STAY EMPLOYED! HA!

WATCH THIS VIDEO

THANKS TO HARRY FOR THE LINK!!

Posted in Humor | 1 Comment

What IS it about MEN? And ME?

Posted on February 6, 2007 by Meleah

Do I have a sign? Do I ask for it? Is there something I am doing? I am so unaware of why?

Why? Why? WHY? Do I get “hit on” all the time by married men?

Or, why? am I suddenly being assaulted with an excessive! amount! of inappropriate emails, from people all over the blog-o-sphere.

Do I just bring that out in a guy?

Or, have I just attracted a bunch of whack jobs to my sight?

And how to loose them?

I’m thinking this post is a good start.

If you read my blog because you enjoy funny things I say, enjoy it enough for you to comment, THANK YOU.

Please keep reading, please keep commenting. I love my “comments.” I am a comments whore. I harass all of my family and all of my friends to COMMENT! PLEASE?

So when a “stranger,” from the Internet, writes me an unprovoked comment, I am happy in a unicorns and rainbows sort-of-way.

I loved “de-lurking week.” There were so many people I never knew that read my blog. It was flattering if nothing else…and it was fun to delurk other people. And I got a lot of unexpected, much appreciated comments. Yeay!

I have made some ‘interweb fwenz’ (people I do not know in ‘real life’) as a result of blogging.

But, um, so far no one has been a SWF, or a clingy creepy, obsessive, freak-me-out motherfucker.

Until NOW.

When a certain comment moves me or I think you are a new reader, as a WRITER I get this warm fuzzy happy goodness inside. Thus, I am grateful, so, I reply to the / your comment, with an email.

Yet apparently, my emails may have way too much gratitude? The gratitude I have expressed seems to have been severely misconstrued by certain individual (s).

Here is some USEFUL ADVICE:

Playful banter, is NOT! an invitation to my bed, or dinner, or even coffee dood!

Some people, who are detached from reality, think “WE” as in stanger-or married-or internet-freaks and I, have some sort? of relationship.

Um, I realize, after MUCH thought, that I am waaaaaaay to open on this page. I share a lot of intimate details about my family, my house, my life, and myself. So I guess how I can see how people think they “know me” or have some bond, some connection, to me when reading my words.

While most of the time, I enjoy that everyone can relate, personalize themselves with things I have written, or even get a good laugh or cry at some of the other things I have written.

(I am currently… freaked out.)

I am not blogging to “find a man” “date a man” LEAST of all a MARRIED MAN. Yes, there are DATING websites, but MOMMA MIA, my blog! isn’t one of them!

Even if I write, bitch, whine, moan, yell, scream, complain about being alone sometimes, feeling empty, wanting someone else to be-in-charge, to take over for a minute, or worry about the fact that I lean on my daddy entirely too much. That doesn’t mean… “Hey married guy, or obsessed myspace asshole, why don’t you shoot me an email, to ask me on a date, make more out of my words then they are, just words, after reading a post that you interpreted as a vulnerable and or opportune time for you, to act like you hear a cry for help, and cant wait to console me or some shit like that.”

Even though you think you ‘know me’ via my ‘blog’ … I don’t know you at all!!

If I somehow keep you company (by reading my blog) while you are on the road away from your family and wife, traveling from hotel room to hotel room, it is not my job, or responsibility, or close to any of my non existant desire to fill that gap in your life by being the subject of a barrage of emails. Nor do I enjoy the disturbing emails, when the attempt to make me feel sorry for you game doesn’t wok on me, that follow, when I do not respond to those original uncomfortable emails in the first place, in the manner expected, or wanted, or needed…

While I seem to have no boundaries when it comes to my writing, I have very specific! clear! strong! non-bendable! non-breakable! non-negotiable! boundaries in my life.

One of those boundaries, that I will not even consider bending, not even consider for as long as a fart lingers in the air, is having an internet relationship with some dood on myspace, which I have addressed now 10000 times, or some scary, evil, nasty ass, married guy complaining about how his wife doesn’t sleep with him anymore, and how I could, “help him out?”

First… eeew.

Second…Hey! NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM. Get a divorce if you are so miserable, or at best get some much needed therapy, really, you need it. 250 emails – in.one.day.- is a problem! Maybe YOU should send YOUR WIFE 250 emails in ONE day? Or maybe YOU did and you FREAKED her the FUCK OUT TOO!

I would like to FORMALLY, OFFICALLY, Copy write a CLEAR statement for the Internet record…

I do not! I will not! ever ever…EV-A? EV-A? ever ever, have a relationship with a married guy or a stranger from the Internet.

So um, get it? Got it? Good!

Okaythanksbye!

Consider yourself deleted and or banned if you are here (on my page, my sight) for any of the aforementioned reasons!!

If you are a cool person, (or any AND ALL ‘real life’ family / friend) with something funny, or witty to say, like BFD! BFNC! Jen! Leslie! MO! (Cascade peeps!!) Olly! Michael! Dan! FV! Harry! Or, Jack! Feel free to hang out here, read, and hellz yeah comment! Damn it!

Otherwise! Bug! Off! Rot! in bloody hell!

Posted in Dating, Drama Drama, Life | 29 Comments