The entire drive to work

The entire drive to work this morning was spent thinking, and imagining. I drove along in traffic, picking numbers to play in the NJ Lottery Mega Millions this afternoon, followed by exactly how I would spend that money.

Not necessarily in this order:

1. Put away enough money for JCH to go to the best schools and college, and secure his future forever.

2. Buy the condo I am currently living in (to keep for, storage, or guests or for when JCH turns 20).

3. Buy the house that is in the back of my parent’s house… and MOVE IN THERE. (It is my DREAM house. It was built in 2000, and NO ONE has EVER lived in it… I swear I am meant to live there. G-d is holding THAT house for me, until I can figure out a way into it.)

4. Pay off all my parents’ debts so they can retire and live in luxury.

5. Make sure Evelyn and Poppa Sye are well taken care of.

6. Give each of my family members a million dollars.

7. Give back to all the people who have given to me and helped me over the years.

8. Donate bookoo dollars to The Alzheimer’s Foundation … and maybe work on those things I wanted to cure in the LIST.

9. Go shopping with my mom to decorate my new house with everything from Domain and Horchow (there will be no sheets or bedding less than a 9000000000 thread count).

10. Buy every single piece of electronic equipment, accessories, programs, software from Apple / Mac.

11. Go on the biggest clothes shopping spree with Jennifer.

12. Treat my girlfriend Pammie to fancy shoes and expensive makeup (after paying off her remodeling loans, and installing a pool in her back yard)

13. Quit my JOB

14. WRITE WRITE WRITE every day, until my book is finished

…for starters

*sigh

At least I have a BRAND NEW EPISODE OF HOUSE tonight….

Drawing for the mega millions is at 8pm tonight

WISH ME LUCK!

Posted in Work | 2 Comments

Just a few family announcements:

GOOD NEWS

My brother Adam and his wife Traci are pregnant
My brother Lee and his wife Maya are pregnant with baby number 2
They are BOTH DUE OCTOBER 20th 2007

(I am soooooo gunna need a handheld camcorder (preferably with night vision) so I can run back and forth between hospitals when that day comes. I am accepting camera donations *hint *hint)

SAD NEWS

My Great Aunt Helen Walter Gerson passed away, at age 92, on Thursday March 1st 2007. The celebration of her life will be held on the Calamigos Ranch (which she owned and operated) on Sunday March 11th 2007, in Malibu CA.

THEY’VE FOUND A FRIEND:
Artist turns love for children into crusade
Byline: Victoria Giraud

An artist, businesswoman and educator, Helen Walter Gerson says its all peripheral compared to her love of children.

Earlier this year, the co-founder and chairman of Calamigos Ranch in the Santa Monica Mountains turned her own birthday celebration into “a party with a purpose” for Free Arts for Abused Children. The nonprofit group offers creative art experiences to victims of abuse and neglect.

At the party, the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors recognized Helen for her longtime work with and for children, and the first annual Helen Walter Gerson Humanitarian Award was presented to Elda Unger, President Emeritus of Free Arts.

“We raised $9,000 at my birthday bash, and the Helen Walter Gerson Humanitarian Award was set up. We’ll pick a local humanitarian each year,” Helen enthused.

The youngest of seven siblings, Helen was born in New Jersey on New Year’s Day. Her brothers and sisters entered creative careers in acting, art and music, and Helen was no exception. By 16 Helen was working as a commercial artist in advertising for the art director at Macy’s New York City. “I was skinny, freckled and long-legged. Drawing was my long suit. They gave me a studio and I posed for myself in kid’s clothes. I drew long-legged, gangly kids and teen-agers,” Helen remembered.

Her talent was recognized by Walt Disney, and Helen was brought to Los Angeles to work on preliminary sketches for the animated “Alice in Wonderland.” Because of delays with the Disney project, she was snapped up by advertising agency Foote, Cone and Belding to do sketches for Cole of California swimsuits.

Not long after, Helen met Grant Gerson, who had created his own traveling summer day camp, Covered Wagon Club.

She helped him with an early brochure and soon found herself married and living on 18 acres in the midst of the Santa Monicas, which she named the Star “C” Ranch.

“I bought his dream. It was very difficult and very lonely, but I knew how to be alone,” Helen remembered of those early days when Calamigos was an hour’s drive from Los Angeles. Son Glen was raised on the ranch, attended school in Agoura and graduated from Agoura High School.

Through the years, Calamigos grew into a 120-acre spread with a facilities that catered to children from throughout the world plus corporate and organization picnics.

In the late 1970s, Helen took a sabbatical and turned her attention toward creating a sculpture. Under the oaks outside her Calamigos home, she created a 30-ton children’s play sculpture made of crushed rock encapsulated in resin.

Measuring 10 by 10 by 20 and originally called “Touch and Experience” by Calamigos campers, Helen said the sculpture – featuring cave spaces, sitting places and slides – “involves the child’s emotions, imagination and motor skills.”

The Los Angeles Parks and Recreation Department bought the sculpture and moved it to Westwood Park, near the Federal Building.

“The piece is kept alive because of the things said and sent to me about it,” Helen said fondly. She has a large scrapbook filled with children’s letters, clippings and photos relating to the children-friendly sculpture.

After the disastrous Kanan Fire in the early 1980s, which destroyed much of the ranch – including Helen’s home and her art work – the ranch was rebuilt into a conference and events center that today hosts businesses from all over the world.

Although she continues to be involved in Calamigos, Helen remains committed to art and her work with children. “I feel truly blessed to work with children,” she says, her eyes bright with purpose.

Photo (color) Artist Helen Walter Gerson, who has spent her professional life helping children, sits by a Western township replica at her Calamigos Ranch. Jeremy Greene/Special to the Daily News

Posted in Family | 11 Comments

Everyone Needs a Little EVELYN

Another New EV Movie…. about POLITICS

Click  HERE Or  HERE

Posted in Grandma Ev, Politics | 11 Comments

AMERICAN IDOL

What? The! Fuck?

I just about banned Idol from my life last year when CHIS DAUGHTRY lost! But…I gave it one more shot. Until…NOW

Um? Are you kidding me? What has happened to this show? And who? The Hell! Is voting?

I vote every damn night. I stay up for hours voting repeatedly. I have neglected friends, family and personal DREAMS to vote. So I can talk as much shit as I want.

Now, I will divulge my utter disappointment with this season.

I love the “getting kicked off Idol night”. because the losers that had no business making it THAT far to begin with, are HISTORY.

So! WHY? THE FUCK? Didn’t Antonella Barba get kicked off yet? She can’t sing! According to myspace and other Internet sources (reliable or not) from her pictures she can suck the shit out of a dick, but the fact the remains that whore cant hit a note to save her life. Have only LOOKS gotten her this far?

Okay…free press, free advertising, marketability… I get that.

Case in Point: Britney Spears can’t sing, (like Christina Aguilera who can shake a persons soul to the core) but at least with Britney there was some form of stage presence. (before she went into a postpartum depression downward spiral bat.shit.crazy.)

Which brings me back to Idol. Every JUDGE: Randy, Simon, and drunk pill poppin Paula will say, “This is a singing competition.”

If only! Asssholes. NOT FROM THE LOOKS of this season.

Maybe, once upon a time, when Kelly Clarkson (who I love / admire…FUCK YOU if you don’t agree) was not, and is not, an anorexic type with ho-bag skillz. NO. Kelly Clarkson, could, did, can SING. And damn it if she isn’t one of the FEW remaining female role models we have left in public society to present to a 10 year old girl.

(Do NOT get me started on the BRATZ dolls!)

So… if this is in fact a “SINGING COMPETITION? Then some one explain! Why? didn’t Sanjaya get kicked off? I’m not saying NICK was the next American Idol, but he was 50 zilllllllllion times better than that creepy didn’t Sanjaya Michael Jackson wanna-be impersonation I saw on Tuesday night.

That’s one guy (Sanjaya and / or Michael Jackson) I’d never allow babysitting duties, let alone a record deal.

Seriously…who the FUCK is voting? And WHY?

Posted in TV and Movies | 13 Comments

I love my blog, I love my readers. I wish I could…

I love my blog, I love my readers. I wish I could write the worlds best posts ever, every single day. I do write every day and every so often I am able to pump out a half way decent story.

However, since I have mucho family footage to put together, since I have 50 things left to do on the famous to-do-LIST and since I have been forcing myself to write a post every single day…I have really been neglecting other writing ideas, opportunities and big big unattainable grandiose dreams to chase.

The write-a-post-a-day started back in November when there was a blogger challenge to see IF it was possible to write a post a day. I was successful in that task. As I do with most things, I took that challenge tooooooo fucking far and continued the trend until now.

4 solid months of a post a day… that’s a shit load of blogging people. Not to mention all the pictures and videos.

I’m not saying I am burned out, oh hell no. I love it here. But, I am going to slow down a bit so I can concentrate on a few other things like creating a BIO, submitting things to magazines, entering writing competitions, hanging out in the writers well where I can get some direction. And most importantly, I MUST WORK ON MY BOOK.

I will still write here of course. But, just not every day, like I have been.

When something funny happens, you’ll know. When something sad or upsetting happens you’ll know. When I have big news to announce you’ll know. If I ever try quitting smoking again…. you’ll know. When I am stuck on a chapter, or having a hard time and need ya’ll to validate that I am the greatest person alive… you’ll know. Of course any and all new movies will be posted as soon as they are completed. When absolutely nothing is happening and I am bored… you’ll know.

For now, I need to turn my attention back to some personal dreams that aren’t going to come true, unless I apply myself to my fullest.

I do not want to be 40, still working the 9-5 life, in an insurance office, while having nightmares over weather or not coverage has been bound over some crazy account.

FUCK! NO!

Even if BFD swears the Insurance World is forever my fate

Posted in Writing | 10 Comments

Everyone Needs a Little EVELYN

All the Evelyn Movies can be found on MY MAC PAGES AS QUICKTIME MOVIES CLICK HERE, THEN THE MY MOVIES TAB (for a clean / clear view)

But, for those of you having problems veiwing the movies, I made 2 NEW YOU TUBE movies for ya’ll

#1) EVELYN …..ON BRITNEY SPEARS AND PARIS HILTON

LINK IS HERE

#2) EVELYN ON ANNA NICOLE SMITH

LINK IS HERE

Posted in Grandma Ev | 16 Comments

The LIST

Okay, so I decided to make Fridays post into something of a personal challenge. To see how many things on the list I would be able to get done in a 48 hour span, and take as much photographic evidence as possible…

1. Visited Gramma Ev, (that was the most important task on the list)

…I got her opinion (on film) about MY DAD (and I made a MOVIE!)

(Movies of her opinions on Anna Nicole Smith, and Britney Spears will follow later this week after)

YOU CAN GO TO MY MAC PAGES, AND CLICK ON THE MOVIE TAB HERE!

OR….

WATCH THE SHITTY YOUTUBE VERSION FOR THOES OF YOU THAT DON’T HAVE A QUICK TIME PLAYER ON YOUR COMPUTER HERE

2. Hung out with Uncle Bob

3. Refilled all my scripts at the Worst Pharmacy Ever

4. Grocery Shopped
5. Cleaned my house
6. Return ONE unread email with thoughtful a reply
7. Waxed my legs
8. Watch the OSCARS
9. Returned 3 PHONE CALLS

10. Took more pictures of my dad
Nice paper towel….. umm…why? does he wear his glasses like that?

11. Chatted with BFD

12. Spent time with the Devil, I mean my mom

13. Took out the trash
14. Bleached my whites
15. Finished the laundry
16. MAILED the pictures I drew 3 months ago to my Cascade sisters
17. Got my own mail
18. Paid some bills
19. Bought cigarettes
20. Went to the bank – transferred funds
21. Went to my doctors appointment
22. Gave myself a facial
23. Drove uncle Bob to the Newark airport (man do I have a post about that!)
24. Took a Nap

Drumroll for something that was NOT on the list, and the BEST thing to happen ALL WEEKEND!

25. MY BROTHER AND HIS WIFE TRACI ANNOUNCED:

THEY ARE HAVING A BABY! THEY ARE PREGNANT! SHE IS 6 WEEKS! The baby is DUE IN OCTOBER! YIPPPPPPPEEEEEEE.

25 out of 75…. Not tooo bad?

I took a personal day today. I will see what else I can accomplish on the list. But, more important, I will finally! be working on my BOOK today. I have been STUCK on chapter 10! since OCTOBER. It’s time to revisit my project with complete determination. Today is that day!

Posted in Family, Friends, Grandma Ev, Life | 9 Comments

What? Free time!

This is the first weekend JCH will be going to his fathers’ house in over a month! Leaving me with FREE TIME. There are about 75 things I want to do with that time:

1. Work on my book
2. Take a trip to AC with Jen and try to hook up a meeting with Michael
3. Sleeeeeeeep
4. Make it a Spa-Leah weekend for RESEARCH purposes
5. Go to my friend Pammies house for food and laughs
6. Visit Gramma Ev, to get her opinion (on film) about Britney Shears and Anna Nicole and make a movie
7. Make photo slide shows for my Mac Pages
8. Hang out with Uncle Bob who’s in town
9. Refill all my scripts at the Worst Pharmacy Ever
10. Read a book
11.See the Movie 23
12. Grocery Shop
13. Clean my house
14. Charter a plane to Chicago to clean someone else’s house
(you know who you are)
15. Make some money IRONING other peoples clothes (FV!)
16. Return unread emails with thoughtful replies
17. Visit with Patty and the New Fantastic Man
18. Revamp Momma Mia’s “look?”
19. Swing by City Streets and see the people I have neglected
20. Dye my hair
21. Wax my legs
21. Clothes shopping
22. Take an Apple / MAC class
23. Win the Nobel Prize
24. Watch the OSCARS
25. Write the damn post about JCH working at Bath and Bodyworks at age 5
26. Write the rubber band post
27. Return PHONE CALLS
28. Take more pictures of my dad
29. Take a nap
30. Bring my clothes to the dry cleaner
31. Comment on all the other peoples blogs that I love
32. Use the New York and Co. gift card I have on some new digs
33. Chat with BFD
34. Spend time with the Devil, I mean my mom
35. Clean my car
36. Take out the trash
37. Bleach my whites
38. Finish the laundry
39. Eat something OTHER than CHICKEN
40. Visit the library
41. Get a Starbucks coffee
42. Go to Barnes and Nobel
43. Get my nails done
44. Have a pedicure
45. Get a full body massage
46. Fix the headlight on my car that no longer works
47. MAIL the pictures I drew 3 months ago to my Cascade sisters
48. Get my own mail
49. Pay the bills
50. Balance the check book
51. Mail the rent out for March
52. Rob a bank
53. Cure Cancer
54. Cure Crohn’s
55. Cure AIDS
56. Buy my dream house
57. Suspend reality (oh wait…. I just did that)
58. Take the Audrey Hepburn “look-alike” pictures for Pammie
59. Organize my closets
60. Rearrange my bedroom
61. Organize my journal pile(s)
62. Take a personal inventory
63. Straighten out my movie collection
64. Return all my moms movies that are in my house to her
65. Compile a list number of accounts / number of quotes per month
66. Learn how to cook
67. Fix my broken fireplace
68. Fix my broken ice maker
69. Find the $400.00 plumbing receipt to deduct the money from next months rent
70. Get a haircut (a trim)
71. Buy cigarettes
72. Go to the bank transfer funds
73. Read the paper
74. Familiarize myself vaguely about politics
75. Stop world hunger
76. Have a FACAIL

But, there’s no waaaay, I could do half of those things in the 48 hours of freedom I do have. Instead I am prioritizing. Gramma Ev wins. I love her soooo much, and ya never know how much longer she will be around. I feel it is my duty to capture as much of her on film, as possible, to immortalize her, as best I can. Plus, she’s hysterical. (and Uncle Bob’s presence will be a bonus)

If you haven’t seen any EV movies yet, go HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE

Posted in Life | 13 Comments

Another FIRST

Can you guess what I have NEVER done before?

IRON ……anything……

Guess what I am trying to do right now?

IRONING, a shirt for my son, who has to be dressed as Bill Gates for his school project.

According to JCH, “This is BREAKING NEWS, breaking news that needs to be blogged mom.”

So, here it is, Me and an Iron:

You have to place the wrinkled mess on a HARD surface:

Because you CAN NOT IRON a shirt ON THE RUG:

Okay! So, I just found that out.

Back to the wrinkled mess on a hard surface:

My attempt with a hot steaming metal object that has the very strong potential to burn people and things:

I dont understand? WHY? Won’t the shirt stay flat?
(I can’t believe I am doing this.)

FINALLY! Shirt=Flat.
(I can’t believe I am happy about the fact that a shirt, is flat.)

Making progress here!
(Why? Am I so impressed with myself? People do this everyday.)

Looking good.
(Really I have no business being this happy about being able to iron something.)

Now, the collar? How? Do I make the collar iron-able? Sh*t! It’s all bended. How do I get in there?

Oh! Like that!

Try and stop me now! This is great! I should do this more. This is much more productive and effective than throwing damp clothes into the dryer, sitting around waiting, with my fingers crossed, making broken promises to g-d, that the clothes will come out of the dryer and magicaly resemble ironed looking clothes… Screw that! I CAN IRON!

Dood!….. NO WRINKLES!

No one was INJURED, or BURNED.

JCH is a HAPPY man. Now, he won’t get his ass kicked by the other kids for looking disheveled

Posted in Family | 9 Comments

Moment of silence

Today is the one year anniversary of the passing of my best friend’s true love.

All I can say to her is…

If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I’d walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.
~Author Unknown

Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality.
~Emily Dickinson

Although it’s difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
~Author Unknown

Dear Jen:

I’m So Sorry and I wanted to express my deepest sympathies. Not one of us knows where our road will lead us or where our road ends. But in times of Sorrow, we receive comfort from our friends. If there is anything I can do for you anything at all…I’ll be here for you; Always your friend. May God Bless You and comfort you in your hour of grief.

Posted in Friends | 4 Comments