* I HAD TO SHUT OFF THE COMMENTS FOR INSIGHTING A RIOT*
NOT Even with the help of ALL of that.
——————————————————
I took the CHANTIX and I had a very bad reaction to it. I was literally lying on my bathroom floor, praying to g-d to make it stop. I felt like I was on HEROIN. Complete with vomiting and nodding out. As it turns out, Chantix doesn’t bode too well with the 9000000000000000000000 other medications I have to take for my 9000000000000000000000 other problems .
After speaking with my girlfriend JENNIFER, my mother and my doctor, and my BIG SISTER LESLIE…we have all decided on a plan that will suit my body, and my needs.
I will ware the patch, and smoke 3-4 cigarettes a day for the next six months before trying to take the next step. I am still “quitting” only, slower, and at a pace my body / brain / emotions can handle.
My mother was the one to break it to my son, as I did not have the heart or stomach to tell him.
Thankfully, he seems to understand and is even proud of me for continuing the fight.
The last part of the deal is that I will not smoke IN THE HOUSE anymore, and I will not smoke in front of him anymore.
But all of THIS is out of the question:
You can pooo-pooo me, or tell me how “You did it cold turkey†or say shit to me like “You must not be ready…. You must not really want it.†and to that I say…. “FUCK YOU!â€
I’m doing the best I can, and that’s pretty damn good
Now… I have to break this to the QNET… wonder if I’ll be ousted? kicked off? yelled at? here goes…….
Hey chica – you’ll get there. Buy a cigarette case and put 4 cigs in it. Give the packs to your mom. Have HER refill the case (or a trusted friend you see each day). It’ll help you keep to your limit (I did that for a month in Nov. with honey filling mine, somehow it helped not to have a full pack available to me).
Then when you’re ready to cut back in a few weeks/months, you will have prepped your body and mind for less nicotine.
Also, just remember to take the patch off when you have a cigarette then put it back on after – it’s dangerous to do both at once. 🙂
Hugs to you and keep blogging it out on Nobutts with me. 🙂
Thanks momma I will, (I have a cigarete case.. a really nice one) good idea to have SOMEONE ELSE fill it, (so I cant excedd the limit)
and i will keep blogging on NO BUTTS because Im sur to be KICKED off the Q NET after I post this bicth up in there!
LOVE YOU
Wear the patch and smoke?
Sounds kinda dangerous to me.
Why smoke?
Not a judgment, just a question.
It means you fell off the horse. We’ll have a new quarter for you when you’re ready to ride again. lol
Since you’re taking some initial preparatory time, may I recommend the Alan Carr book that universally receives raves here that the Q, “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” Find it at Amazon here:
http://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Smoking-Nonsmokers/dp/1402718616/sr=1-1/qid=1168207867/ref=pd_bbs_1/105-2756569-9418032?ie=UTF8&s=books
The plan is that you read the book while you’re still smoking, which will work right into your situation.
Good luck!
thankyou… okay, perfect to put my barnes and nobel gift card to use for that book!!
This could be YOUR story in awhile. I take gazillions of medications myself now. Just to help me breathe. It’s your decision. Of course, you’re always welcome at the Q.
Believe it or not, I was young once. And I thought I had forever to finally quit smoking. But today, I am living the nightmare that’s lies ahead for many smoker’s.
A while back, a dear friend sent me an email and mentioned that I am “Living Everyones Nightmare”.
I’d never thought about that before.
WHY DIDN’T I QUIT EARLIER? I spent almost 5 years quitting and starting, and quitting and starting.
Because I played little games with myself, like cutting down or not smoking in the house or the car or when I was on the phone.
Because I kept “trying” to quit instead of QUITTING!
I thought I was quitting. But now I know I wasn’t.
But, I kept looking for excuses or reasons to quit quitting.
And, I looked for others to blame so I could throw away my quit.
But the truth is, I never REALLY quit before.
Not until this time. Sure, I cut way down. My doctor told me that wouldn’t work but I didn’t believe. Heck, some days I would actually get all the way down to 1-2 cigarettes before I started crawling back up again.
But every time I eventually ended back up smoking more
(though I never made it back to 2 packs a day, thank God!).
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE WITH THIS QUIT?
I have finally learned to be honest with myself and to admit that I cannot have even one puff of a cigarette.
I have read and researched everything I could get my hands on about quitting.
I have given and received support and encouragement from my friends, family and those who are fighting this same battle.
I recently had a serious talk with my 32 year old daughter. I was telling her about someone who is about her age and whose mother is in ICU with lung disease. Her mother is only 3 years older than I am. Her mother is on morphine, not for pain, but to relax her enough so she can get some air into her lungs and not go into the automatic “fight or flight” mode that your body does when it can’t breathe. She will probably never leave the hospital. There are 4 stages of COPD. I have Stage 3. Stages 1 and 2 were just “smoker’s cough” and I jumped right into STAGE THREE COPD without knowing it!
I shared this story with my daughter and told her that eventually because of the progression of this disease (even if you quit, COPD keeps progressing just more slowly), I will end up in the same place as this young woman’s mother.
I apologized to her for what my beloved children will eventually have to go through and asked my daughter to please tell her brothers when that time comes, how sorry I am that I didn’t quit sooner and that they had to see me like this and hurt like they will.
This was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had with one of my children.
She just put her arms around me and told me how much she loves me and that she knows this will happen someday but she hopes it will be longer (well, she said she’d like me to live to be 100…*S*)
She also said that she knows that I never meant to get this disease and told me how happy she is that I’ve quit.
Are you still playing the games with yourself?
Please, please, please keep your quit!
I can’t turn the clock back but I can make today and tomorrow as wonderful as I can.
Nah it’s a cop out- smoking 4 to 5 cigarettes a day isn’t going to help you. You will still be in nicotene withdrawl and hating it. You need to read quitsmokingonline.com. Trying to cut back and use the medical excuse is lame, real lame! It’s just another excuse, you know it as well as I do. Qnet member
You can qmail me. I know what it is like to be on and off with smoking.
Thank you… I knew I’d get some heat about this, but I have to do this MY WAY or it wont work….
maybe i am weak, but I cant go from 2 pacs to nothing without cutting back first.
Sorry to hear about the Chantix reaction. That’s must have been scary. I only take 1/2 the dose. I know that it did make me feel very strange at first but it was tolerable. I plan to get off it when my 1st package is empty. Forget the 12 week crap. The NRT route should work well for you if you stay focused on your quit date. I think you should stay on the Q. You need it now more than ever. It will build up your confidence and will power with the Nicotine Monster. Keep me posted on your quit with the patch,
it was very much in fact SCARY as all hell…..
thank you for being supportive.
I think you may be braver than you think you are. You’ll be fine. 🙂 Stick around. There’s tons of inspiration, giggles too…Qnet member
okay! I will stick and stay HERE on QNET…. I need all the inspiration and help I can get
Wow Meleah. Thats a lot to deal with, but you will be okay. I don’t know the answer to the qnet question. I would go the the NOPE forum and ask an elder like anicat or grandmaceeceeor any of those that have been around for a long time.
I would think it would be okay to pop in every so often to tell us how you are doing and to see how everyone is.
No matter – you can qmail me anytime.
Best of luck with the new plan.
Why heck no your not ousted. Keep working on it and when you can get to a point easier on you do it. Keep that blog going I have really enjoyed reading it. You’re quite a character!
-Mac
http://www.trappermac.com
THANK YOU
and I will always BLOG…
hopefully I wont always smoke
Hey Meleah….
As far as I know….it takes alot more than smoking to be booted off of the Q…lol. One thing you might want to reconsider is the “gradual” quitting though. I know from NUMEROUS attempts at quitting that it’s not very successful. For me at least. Something that HAS worked for me however is using the lozenges and the patch. My doc said that using a combination of the two was better than smoking and it really does work. Get the strongest patch and the 2mg lozenges if you’re interested and see what you think. Of course consult your doc first….but sooner or later you’ve got to just bite the bullet and get rid of those nasty cigs.
Whatever you decide to do….I’m with you…rooting and praying for you all the way!!!! Never quit quitting!!!!!
Meleah – good decision girl. (You know what I mean) Sticking around is very smart, so is posting and being honest!!!!
Actually, read Allen Carr’s book, The Easy Way to Stop Smoking. You might be amazed at how easy it really is. I have been around the block on all of these quit methods and sick from many, but this book helped my mind, and even made me laugh at myself and look where I am now.
well I cant be on here posting / commenting and acting like I am NOT smoking IF I AM thats just WRONG… so, here I am , and now quite confused ….
MANY people are telling me PATCH + smoking = dangerous
other people (people I know) did it, and my doctor told me too?
calling doctor back…..?
you’ve got q-mail
hi Meleah!
i read your post and then i read your profile and i think you defenitely have what it takes!
i know it might sound kind of funny but i am pretty loud and dramatic too. and after i quitted it actually became easier to handle those moods… which was a good thing for me.
take it one step at a time! i quitted 2 packs a day and Q-net is very helpful to get through the withdrawal!
Quit and let the rest be the rest!
hugs and sanity,
I don’t know about anyone else, but I will be glad to walk through this with you.
I think you acvtually have a harder road ahead of you than just stopping. Yours will drag on.
qmember
>DOES THIS MEAN I AM KICKED OFF QNET? OR OUSTED
>?
>
>http://mommamiameaculpa.blogspot.com/
Not at all. In fact in would be a great idea for you to stay and keep posting on advice, questions. Also to read posts, profiles and journals. But doing this it will also give you some other ideas of things that will help you when you do quit. I am so sorry things did not work out this time. But it is when you give up trying is when you will never quit. Sounds like you have everything planned out. Do keep in touch with me. This way when your new quit date comes I will be waiting and doing my happy dance for you. I am having surgery Tuesday but I do plan on be back on here with in a day or two. The thing that is bad is I just had surgery in September. This will be 13 of them in 4 1/2 years and many many other things. Hope to hear from you soon.
Take care,
qmember
T:
well you have held my hand since day one and my bad profile! (when I had up too much personal info) and you warned me about certian peeps being well.. scary…
anyway
OF COURSE….I will stay in touch with you !! I wish YOU WELL in your quest for a healthy and safe and fast surgery and recovery. I will PRAY for you…
Hang in there….Someone posted an article yesterday from the NY Times about the Patch, and it said something about smoking while on the Patch.
It is not that terrible, and I have done it…The patch does not have a ton of nicotine in it…As I can attest too…even know I am wearing it, it does not supply enough nicotine….
I can’t find it now though and I looked for it last night also…
Maybe it is on NOPE.
I think you have all the info and courage to quit. You had a tough week, and the meds did not help! You have all the tools, and you know the program, Do they say Okay Do a little bit of heroin today, and ween yourself?
No!
You can not ween yourself by smoking a little bit and a little bit less each day…
It is the act,, the Nicotine and Life…
Try again! I think you might find what joy they brought you before and what you have wanted all week, will not bring you so much joy now!
Good Luck
Qmember
Meleah….
I am killing that Rose Bush Tomorrow For you!
Kar
KAR
You crack my shit up!!
hahha rose bushes!
Listen, sounds like you are having a tough time (been reading your blog page also) and you seem to have guilt about editing your plan. If you need someone to talk to that is completely removed from your life, let me know. Sometimes it’s easier to bitch at people you don’t know…no worries of hurt feelings. You can vent, whine or debate.
Let me know if you want my cell number. I don’t want to be forward so I will only give it if you ask for it.
Take care.
OMG…I would never intrude like that! although the offer of a cell phone number is amazing! THANKYOU! doood… YOU rock! and yes….I am having a hard time. I had one plan, then another plan, then another plan…. I have come to the conculsion that Its just NOT MY TIME to quit right now. I like the NEW PLAN the best (probably because I can still smoke on said new plan) I tried other things (not for long I admit that…. but, if this is the BEST I can do …CUT DOWN for now, then THATS GOOD ENOUGH.. that is BETTER than 2 pacs a DAY. 4 smokes may be bad, but its better than 40!
No sweetie. There are alot of people who are on here that are still full time smokers. I know how hard it is to quit. For some it is harder than for others. The important thing is that you know you have to quit and are trying your hardest to do so. Dont worry it will happen I have faith in you. Your son sounds and looks like a good kid (btw he is a good lookin kid too). I am soooo sorry to hear you had such a bad reaction to the meds. I have heard of people using the patch and gum at the same time maybe that might work for you too. If you were having a problem with the patches sticking you might try the Wal-Mart brand they seem to stick better than Nicoderm at least they did for me. I wish I could be there for you.
Im proud of you and will always be here for you if you need me.
H;
you are too sweet
DEAR READERS,
AS UPSETTING AS IT MIGHT BE TO SEE THAT MELEAH ISNT QUITTING THE WAY SOME OF YOU WOULD LIKE HER TOO. LETS EMBRACE THE FACT THAT SHE IS EVEN CONSIDERING IT…AND WILLING TO KEEP TRYING.
FOR THE READERS WHO MENTIONED THAT SHE IS “COPPING OUT” OR “FELL OFF THE HORSE”
WHY DON’T YOU GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES OK, TOO BAD WHEN YOU’RE DONE YOU CANT SMOKE A CIGARETTE CAUSE THAT SURE IS NICE AFTER SEX!
ONLY WORDS OF ENCOURAGMENT ARE NEEDED NOT YOUR STUPID GUILT TRIPS OR PUT DOWNS,
YA DUM FUX!
OH AND CALLING MELEAH LAME ISNT HELPING EITHER NIMROD! GOOD CALL.
KAR
HEROINE!
why are you sooo funny! you are killing me
JENNIFER!!!
FINALLY something I CAN / WILL publish!!!
xoxooxox
any people stay with the Q long before they quit. They use to prepare themselves and this way you will already know some of us when the day comes. I am glad that I was able to help you. It feels good to give back. I got so much help from people here and even made friends. A few of us talk on the phone. I do not know of whether you are aware of that the Q even has clubs that you can join. I belong to a few. Friends, Need a friend, NOPE. you might even want to start checking them out. There are many many clubs. Hope to talk to you soon Meleah.
Take care
Not completely altruistic. If I am available to you, you are available to me. It’s all give and take. I not having a very easy time, and I have been just jumping around looking for people to chat with. So, not an intrusion, just another tool.
I agree 4 is better than 40! It may turn out that you can be comfortable with just a couple a day, and there is not so much of a need to quit completely. I know if I could maintain single digit smoking, I would not be going through this!
Take care
J
great now i need a dictonary to look up “altruistic”
Yes, I read that also. I was suprised it said it was ok to smoke on the patch. But like you said, there doesn’t seem to be much nicotine in a patch. I am day 4, on step 1 of the patch, and I feel I could use 3-4 of them . But I also know that without the patch, I would be smoking again. Please, keep going on your quit. If I can do it, so can you. It’s ok to be cranky.
yeay! my doctor DOES know what he is talking about…. whats ON a label isnt always TRUE
1. You’re never kicked off qnet
2. You don’t need Chantix to quit. Seems you have enough pills to deal with; if you suck it up and get through 7 days you’ll realize you CAN do this.
3. You owe your son a good role model and a mom who lives to see him go to college, marry, buy a house, have kids…
Good luck
I’m sorry I haven’t Qmailed back….I didn’t know how it worked. I kept waiting to hear from you on my hotmail account.
It sucks that you slipped, but you’re still here fighting. That’s what counts. Please keep getting back on the horse. Do it for your son, if not yourself. I will be pulling for you too.
Stay here and keep posting. You never know. Maybe you’ll be ready sooner than you think. Just lean on all of us here and I know that you can do it.
Mwars: Much THANKS
Night Meleah
I will keep my eyes open for you. I did add you to my buddy list. Heck you might see me on Tuesday night. I want to come home no matter what and I usually win. Well not always but I sure do try my best to get out of there. Talk to you soon.
T
T:
I will PRAY for you and look for you all week. you were my FIRST buddy!
What a horrible reaction that sounds! I would have thought your doctor would have checked for problems with your other meds. No, as far as I am concerned, you are not kicked off the Q. The thing I worry about is your being able to stay at 3-4 per day. I found that harder than quitting entirely, but we are all different.
Keep on trying!
Okay! I cant have 49 comments.. I cant.
see ya’ll tomorow!
I find myself checking your blog out daily now.
I think I am in lust with you.
LOL
🙂
Harry
dood The BLOG rocks!
I love to write… and the pics make it better / funner to read.
I write evey single day,(so always check the blog!!)
I write even when I HAVE NOTHING to say!
The title of today’s post…”NOT GUNNA HAPPEN” made me laugh… shitty topic but hey, I definitly keep.it.real!
Oh my god… JUST wait until you see what I have planned for my POST tomorow I was cracking MYSELF up when I wrote it…. ahhhh.. ..that was neeeded… It will be up on the blog in the MORNING.
Meleah, nobody would want to throw you off of the net. Chantix also makes me nauseous so I just eat something or drink milk. The only problem with you wearing the patch while smoking is you’re no suppose to because your adding more nicotene in your body with the patch and the cigerette, I don’t know what to say but I hope you are careful with the patch and smoking. Talk to your doctor. He may have something new to offer.
Good Luck
I will also look for you. I am glad that we were able to become buddies. I will be here until you quit and after your quit date. We will find a way to get you through this. On your quit date just remember I will be in front of the computer doing the happy dance. Talk to you soon.
Take care,
T