Well, people. I’ve been extremely busy writing my novel. And therefore, I’m running short on time and blog material. However, I do have two ‘Facebook Status Updates’ I’d like to share with y’all – just in case you missed them.
1. On ‘Coffee’ and ‘Cleaning Ladies’.
2. MY BOX IS BROKEN!
So tell me boys and girls…
1. Can you talk to anyone before you’ve had your coffee?
2. Anyone else Sneeze & Pee, or, Laugh & Fart at the same time?
Discuss!
I love your Facebook posts!!! Oh, and I understand your ‘issues’ all too well LOL
I also failed to mention in that Update, when I sneezed, half my tampon came out as well.
So, yeah. It’s official. My “Box” is BROKEN!
Ha ha! Mo always does the second one. It’s hilarious when it happens in company!
Don’t tell anyone but I actually did the first one just yesterday. I’ve never done it before, so I’m wondering if I should now worry 🙂
1. I’m with you. When I’m tired, I’m very grouchy and unsociable, and just want to be left alone. That goes for the late afternoons too, when work is almost over, and my caffeine buzz is about to wear off.
2. I’ve never peed as a result of sneezing, but I’ll tell you one thing from a guy’s perspective. If you can help it, don’t ever sneeze WHILE you’re peeing. The results are generally disastrous.
Oh, Babs!
It’s all downhill now!
xoxoxo
Hey, Mike!
Thanks for coming back to read the RIGHT post.
You rock.
And I can’t even imagine a guy sneezing & peeing.
That cannot end well.
If I had a cleaning lady she could talk to me whenever the hell she wanted as long as I don’t have to clean the toilet or vacuum or do laundry.
If I had a cleaning lady she could talk to me whenever the hell she wanted as long as I don’t have to clean the toilet or vacuum or do laundry.
You’d think that would be true.
But, you’d be wrong.
When she chatters incessantly about NOTHING for TWO HOURS?
Stabbing her with a pen in the jugular seems like a great idea.
Of course, then you’d be stuck cleaning up all the blood.
You’d think that would be true.
But, you’d be wrong.
When she chatters incessantly about NOTHING for TWO HOURS?
Stabbing her with a pen in the jugular seems like a great idea.
Of course, then you’d be stuck cleaning up all the blood.
You’d think that would be true.
But, you’d be wrong.
When she chatters incessantly about NOTHING for TWO HOURS?
Stabbing her with a pen in the jugular seems like a great idea.
Of course, then you’d be stuck cleaning up all the blood.
You’d think that would be true.
But, you’d be wrong.
When she chatters incessantly about NOTHING for TWO HOURS?
Stabbing her with a pen in the jugular seems like a great idea.
Of course, then you’d be stuck cleaning up all the blood.
Oh! Don’t say that ha ha! Not having children usually prevents that sort of thing 🙂
Yeah, but no one can defy age + gravity. 🙂
Oh! You rotter hahahaha!
🙂
While I function better on early coffee intake, occasionally I don’t get my first coffee for several hours. It doesn’t usually get ugly, but my responses can be a bit more “unfiltered”. And no, I’ve never sneezed myself moist. Kegels girl.
While I function better on early coffee intake, occasionally I don’t get my first coffee for several hours. It doesn’t usually get ugly, but my responses can be a bit more “unfiltered”. And no, I’ve never sneezed myself moist. Kegels girl.
I am an angry bitch pre-coffee!
And, hello, I totally need to start doing Kegels. ASAP
I don’t drink coffee, I get my caffeine fix from diet Mountain Dew, but I can’t talk to anyone until I’m awake for at least an hour. Regarding your broken box…ha ha ha! Hilarious!
Oh yeah. It’s a real hoot!
“an angry bitch”?? No. Not you…
Yep. Totally AGGRO.
I’m not a coffee drinker, so the answer to number one is: yes! 🙂
As for question number 2, well I’ve never sneezed and peed, nor laughed and farted. HOWEVER! In the interest of solidarity and TMI, I have mixed and matched those 2 options – I sneezed out a fart and have laughed until I peed. Neither event occurred at what could be considered an “opportune moment”. 🙂
YAY! Welcome to my world!
Yeah but you talked about that during DWTS chat and I laughed and laughed, oh, the joys of getting older LOL
That whole chat was SOFA KING funny!
That’s how I came upon this photo:
and this one:
and this one:
Oh! Snap! And I almost forgot. That’s also how I became “Queen Laqueefa” ruler of “Broke Box Mountain”
Meleah, that second one made me HOWL!!!!!
Bwhahahahhahahahahaha! OMG, girl…you CRACK ME UP!!!!! HILARIOUS!
1. Can you talk to anyone before you’ve had your coffee? Absolutely NOT! I think it may be a ‘Libra thing’ because I know several of us who feel the same way!
2. Anyone else Sneeze & Pee, or, Laugh & Fart at the same time? Yes, I’ve sneezed and farted at the same time. Also, I’ve bent down to pick something off the floor and farted too! OMG…I cannot believe I just confessed that on the INTERNET!!!!
FAB post, girl!
X
Does peeing and farting at the same time count? I’m good at that.
I don’t like to talk to people anyway although this past week was the worst. I actually made my husband take my younger daughter to 2 parties this weekend because I was worried that the only thing that would come out of my mouth was “bite me.”
YAY, Ron!
Thank you SO MUCH for the TMI!
You rock.
xoxo
TOTALLY.
Ahahahahahahah, Anne!
I would have done, said, and FELT the same way.
Hahahaha! You are toooo funny! I rarely post Facebook updates, therefore, very few people comment when I do. Holy cow! You got 126 comments on the “box” post!
So to answer one of your questions. I probably COULD talk to someone before I’ve had my coffee, but since I’m usually the first one up, the theory hasn’t been tested.
I refuse to admit to anything where the other questions are concerned! 😉
Since I don’t drink coffee (shocker) I would have to insert “breakfast”.
Okay, Terri!
I’ll let you slide on answering the 2nd question!
xoxoxo
You don’t drink coffee?
* faints *
You don’t drink coffee?
* faints *
I tend to be a camel, and rarely go, and sometimes I forget that I ever had to go, that is, um until I sneeze or laugh really hard. and it only happens when I’ve been drinking.
You know what they say… loose lips
Learned something from Aubrie,
Shaving cream cleans up blood, and pretty much anything else that is hard to clean. She got chili queso dip out of her couch with it, and set in bacon grease out of her bf’s Sunday football jersey.
Loose Lips! HA!
GET OUT!!
Best. Cleaning. Advice. Ever.
She found it on YouTube. And it’s the cheap ass cream like the kind you get at dollartree
SWEEEEEEEEEEEET!
As my husband is eager to tell you, as if he’s some kind of long suffering abuse victim when all he needs to do is keep his piehole shut for a little while, I am not sociable in the morning. I like to get up, wash a few dishes if there are any in the sink, make coffee, and drink it. Sometimes I read. He comes from a long line of people who hit the ground fully awake and talking and it is anathema to me.
Get ready to faint again. I start my day with a diet soda. I just haven’t met a coffee that I could tolerate – much less like. I do like coffee flavored ice cream.