Channeling My Inner ‘Chris Turk’.

The word ‘NO’ is not something my son hears very often. And that’s not because I spoil him, far from it. It’s mostly because he really doesn’t ask for very much. He does his homework, without me having to pester him. He cleans up after himself. He makes his own breakfast. And, he’s usually pretty helpful around the house. He even does his own laundry.

Sounds like a parent’s dream right?

Of course, like all teenagers, he certainly has his moments. Occasionally he will roll his eyes and he’s been known to cop an attitude. A few times he even tried talking back to me. But he quickly learned those moments don’t end very well for him.

In general, he’s a good kid. A really good kid. He’s confident, respectful, independent, and very funny. So when my son does ask for something, I usually just say, “Yes.”

Example:

“Mom, will you drive to me so-and-so’s house”
“Yes.”

“Mom, can I have a few friends over our house”
“Yes.”

“Mom, can I get this new guitar? It costs x amount of dollars, but I’m putting in half of my own money?”
“Yes.”

See. I almost always say, “Yes.”

Except for when I don’t.

Typically I only have to say, “No”, when my son asks for something outrageous. And when that happens?  I respond just as outrageously.

Case. In. Point.

“Mom, can I pierce my ear?”
“No. That’s not gunna happen.”

“Mom, can I get a tattoo?”
“Nope. Not gunna happen.”

“Mom, can I have $1,500.00 for a Gibson Les Paul guitar?”
*Dead.Silence.

And that my friends, is precisely when I channel my ‘Inner Chris Turk’.

First, I grab my tambourine.

[Yes people. Not only do I own a tambourine, but I have been known to tambour with the best of them.]

And then, I transform into a Black Man while singing this:

Honestly, boys and girls. I’ve found this to be the most effective way of saying, “No”.

Yes?

About Meleah

Mother. Writer. Television Junkie. Pajama Jean Enthusiast.
This entry was posted in Family, Humor, JCH quotes, TV and Movies, Videos. Bookmark the permalink.

71 Responses to Channeling My Inner ‘Chris Turk’.

  1. Marty Wombacher says:

    Ha ha ha! Picturing you with that tambourine cracks me up! Just say no!

  2. I love that clip! And telling your son “not gonna happen” with a tambourine is priceless! No tatts or pierced anything until after you leave home and pay your own rent.

  3. Selma says:

    I love this. What a fantastic technique. I know I have an old tambourine somewhere. I’m going to practise in secret so the next time I get a request for something outrageous I am ready with my tambourine routine. Too funny!!

  4. You gotta sing it on the top of your lungs!

  5. Yeah, teenagers sucks.

  6. DIVA?? Is it really YOU?

  7. Its the BEST way to say no!

  8. “not gonna happen” is a motto around here.

  9. Oh Selma! You toad-ily should!

  10. Anne says:

    I would love to try that with my preteen. While she rarely asks for the outrageous, sometimes I think she does it just to see if it works for her.

  11. Get a tambourine! Ahahahhahahahaha

  12. cardiogirl says:

    Now I am *dying* to get a tambourine for Christmas. Please, Santa? Can you please send me a tambourine.

    You know? I think you’ve just written the fourth verse of my Five Days of Christmas song. “Four tambourines, three self-help books…”

    But I think I can work that song and dance routine with just my hands clapping the beat. I cannot wait for my kid to ask me for a DSi for Christmas. Again.

  13. Ahahahahah! Yes!! That would be an awesome verse!

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  15. CuteEllaisbold says:

    LOVE IT!

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