[*Okay people, I’ve been very busy working on my book again. And therefore, I have been reduced to writing blog posts about the weather. Deal with it.*]
Dear Mother Nature,
The last few weeks have been exceptionally hot. And by that I mean; I think it might have actually been cooler to live ON the sun. Seriously? During the month of July, I was unwillingly subject to: record breaking, ridiculously, unbearable, must-take-a-shower-every-five-seconds, and no matter what do-not-shut-off-the-air-conditioner kind of hot.
As perfectly illustrated in the photo below.
And if that wasn’t bad enough?
When you were not beating the earth with excruciating rays of heat? You were busy dumping excessive amounts of water upon us in the form of raging thunderstorms complete with flash floods and life-threatening lightening.
Also perfectly illustrated in the photo below.
Don’t even get me started on the god-forsaken humidity. The simple act of breathing air became virtually impossible.
And, I am totally blaming you for the ‘Moisture Marks’ [read: gruesome pit-stains] left visible on my clothing, and ones that could only be removed with ‘Industrial Strength’ cleaning products. So yeah, thanks for that.
But, in all fairness, I half expected these kinds of weather conditions, especially after the type of winter you put me through. And, as long as I remained indoors, without trying to write anything of substance – or even think clearly, I was prepared to get through August just the same.
However, I have to draw the line somewhere.
Last week, I was attacked several times by what can only be described as mutant mosquitoes. Because, no regular mosquito could inflict this kind of damage.
I have never been so swollen, so itchy, and so puffy. After unsuccessfully trying to use door frames and walls, I had to resort to using wire hangers just to scratch the grapefruit sized bite in the middle of my back. And later that very day, I was unpleasantly surprised to find a golf-ball-sized welt on the left side of my FACE.
[Sorry, no photos are available for that one!]
I truly believe, because of these erratic weather conditions, a new species of mosquitoes have been spawned.
Either that, or you have just given them weapons.
Whatever the case may be, I beg of you.
Please, stop. It’s enough already.
Thanks in advance.
Thanks!!
You're SO lucky!!
🙂
This has been the suckiest summer EVER. And the fact that I am reduced to writing ABOUT the weather is pretty sucky too! But I am NOT looking forward to the winter. Then I can't play any golf!
Ahahahahah! Thanks Marty!
I think everyone is ready for fall but would you absolutely shoot me if i said I love it! I much prefer this to winter!
I concur!
OMG…Meleah had an affliction she didn't take a picture of!!!
I loved the first cartoon. I started off with a laugh before I even read a word.
I don't know what it's been like in your neck of the woods, but NC has been unbelievable this summer. We have set several records and they're telling us it will be close to 100 again on Thursday. I'm going camping in the mountains in a couple of weeks and what I'm hearing is that I shouldn't expect much relief. I'm going to hope they're wrong.
My camera batteries were dead or else you KNOW I would have taken a picture! Ahahahahahha!
Yeah, its supposed to be ridiculously hot this week again too. And I am playing in several golf outings!
UGH!
Well, yes, sure. But I don't want to talk about it because that's sorta personal, don't you think? 😉
Ugh hot weather. I would take hot weather over cold weather any day, but it is still ridiculously hot
God yes. And I had the misfortune of being on the East Coast during the worst of it. Yikes. And now, it's HOTTER THAN HELL HERE IN ILLINOIS! What the f**k is going on? 😉
PS — Glad you're working on your book. Perhaps I can start doing the same soon.
Those crazy corn on the cobs! (corns on the cob???)
That's funny. When it was stoopidly hot here a few weeks ago, I was sent the same cartoon, but in french:
http://margaret.healthblogs.org/files/2010/07/i…
I suppose.
Me too. I'd rather be in the summer time than the winter.
But this? This is uncalled for!
I know! Right?!!!!
Ahahahahahaahahah!
It's been the coldest summer in the San Francisco Bay Area that I've ever seen. We are topping out at about 63 degrees. Now, I'm not complaining, but this is very strange because we are usually about 72 degrees all summer with a couple of days in the 80's so we can all cry and be miserable.
It’s been hot, but not usually horribly so here. We don’t hit 100 degrees or anything. Don’t you have an A/C? I hope that Mother Nature is kinder to you in the near future. 😉
It’s been hot, but not horribly so here. Don’t you have an A/C? I hope that Mother Nature is kinder to you in the near future. 😉
Hahahahaha….
Everyone should send a letter to mother nature too.
When its hot, you cannot stop sweating the whole day.
Id rather be hot than cold! That's for sure!
Oh I have AC. And its been on FULL Blast! Can't wait to get that bill.
I took three showers yesterday and I never did sop sweating. Prolly also
because I played 27 holes of golf!
As you know I was on vacation – in GEORGIA – where it seems all the humidity and mosquitoes ON EARTH go in the summertime! Having lived in California for the last 5 years, I guess I had just blocked out how like a hot, wet oven it could be back east in the summer – and almost 2 weeks later, my girls and I are STILL scratching! (oh and by the way, the Skin So Soft does work wonders for keeping the squitos away)
I think the weather is a wonderful topic to write about. Hell every newscast makes sure to spend at least 10% of their program to it. Although they are never right. Sorry haven't been around lately, all this weather and stuff has me keeping busy trying to stay cool and conserve on deodorant………….
There's nothing I hate more than having the pit sweats, trying to breathe in severe humidity, and mosquitoes of any size. If you're petitioning Mother Nature to be nice, I'll sign!
I had one of those golf-ball sized bites on my leg last week. It spread to the size of a tea plate before starting to improve and hurt like hell, as well as itching ferociously. My theory is that the damn thing bit a cat before it bit me, because I'm allergic to cats. Either that or it bit someone who'd just had a nice fish dinner (another allergy), or maybe it bit a cat that had eaten fish, just for good measure.
I WAS fed up with the heat, but now it's stopped, and I want it back. But then, I do live in England, where 'hot' sometimes just doesn't have the same definition that it does in the US.
Firstly, I'm THRILLED you're working on your book. And secondly, even when you write about the weather, it's hilarious. xoxoxoxoxoxo
OMG! Georgia is BRUTAL! Thanks for the Skin So Soft tips!
Ahahahah!
Thanks Terri!
OMG! That sounds painful!
Aw! Thanks Lisa!!
🙂
The AC has been on Fill Blast!
Awwww… Thank you!