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Meleah's Photo Booth
Have you ever tried really, really, really hard – and repeatedly – to make yourself feel better, but nothing seems to work? And no matter what you do, or how you do it, you just keep on getting sick, and you just keep on getting sicker, and you keep having flare ups, and you keep having even more flare ups. And some of those flare ups are really, really, scary. And some of those flare ups are really, really painful.
And because there’s nothing you can do to prevent those flare ups, thanks to extensive autoimmune issues, and because there’s nothing you can do to prevent from getting sick, you start to feel really, really, frustrated. And that frustration turns into anger. And that anger turns into rage. And that rage leads to a very dark depression. And that kind of depression makes you withdraw from the world. And then you feel really, really lonely.
And even though your family and friends are totally super supportive, and they want to be there for you – except that you don’t really want to socialize, because all you have to talk about are your medical problems, and side effects from medications, and the cost of prescriptions, or how many doctor appointments you have in one week. And that makes for some pretty lousy conversation, especially when you’re not 85 years old.
But what REALLY makes you THE MOST MAD is when you cook a special meal for your family, and you don’t eat any of it, not even ONE BITE, specifically to AVOID any kind of allergic reaction or flare up – only to wake up the next morning with a fat, swollen, puffy lip ANYWAY. So when people ask questions like, “What did you eat?” basically insinuating you caused your own flare up, that just makes you want to stab them, in the throat, with unsharpened rusty scissors.
And you’re terrified – every single day – riddled with anxiety, because you never know what’s going to set off the next attack, or how bad the next attack will be, or how long the next attack will last, or who will be available to drive you to the Emergency Room when the next attack becomes life threatening. So you walk around in a perpetual state of panic. And distress. And worry. And misery.
And you’re exhausted, simply from being trying to ‘positive’ for everyone else, all of the time. And you’re sick of of these rules and restrictions affecting the quality of your life – like avoiding certain foods, or not going to the movie theater because of your compromised immune system – because even when you follow all of those rules and restrictions, you still wind up in the hospital. Which just makes you want to give up, altogether. And you’re so fucking tired you can’t even muster up the strength to brush the mold off your teeth.
So you stop writing. And blogging. And reading. And commenting. And tweeting. And participating. And you just hideout, under the covers, watching television, while ‘suffering in silence’ because someone once told you there’s a type of dignity in keeping these kinds of problems to yourself.
Except that suffering in silence, only makes you feel even worse, because you really need to scream on the top of your lungs – and cry uncontrollably – to anyone willing to listen.
This shit just isn’t fucking fair.
Once Upon A Time, there was a girl named Meleah, and she wanted to try an at home Yoga Program, in addition to her morning walks, so she tried using the Wii U.
And here’s how that worked out for her…
After locating the hidden power button, Meleah was promptly notified the Wii U needed an update.
No big deal, she thought, and pressed the ‘OK’ button.
But after 20 minutes – the update only progressed ONE PERCENT.
Another 20 minutes passed and all she got was this error message.
She pressed ‘OK’ only to receive yet another error message.
And then she was prompted to ‘Go To User Settings’
Except that she didn’t know where the ‘Settings’ were located.
So, she just pressed ‘OK’ again.
Meleah thought she was on the right path.
Alas, she was wrong.
Very wrong, indeed.
Meleah had no idea what the password could possibly be. So, she asked her mother. After all, this is her device.
Sadly, her mother didn’t know what the password was either, nor did she have any recollection of ever creating a password in the first place.
And after several failed attempts – they were locked out completely.
And that’s when Meleah called upon her 17 year old son.
Because maybe he would be able to show her how to operate electronic devices – made for five year olds.
Of course, her son was able to reset the password and unlock the screen, within a matter of seconds.
But apparently, the Wii U required yet another update.
After what seemed like an eternity, the download completed.
But of course, the system required yet another software update maneuver.
And then the television stayed frozen – on this screen – for about an hour.
And just when Meleah was ready to throw the machine out of the window, this happened.
Only Meleah didn’t know if she was supposed to hold the Power button for four seconds or just one second?
Because she doesn’t “ordinarily” use this machine – ever!
So she held it down for four seconds.
And then this happened.
Panic stricken and totally annoyed, Meleah simply pressed ‘OK.’
And then this happened.
Meleah screamed and pressed ‘OK’ again.
“But where IS the damn agreement?” She sighed.
“And, where is the OK button?”
And then Meleah called her son, again.
Because she also had no idea how to deal with this.
And once again, thankfully, her son was able to navigate his way through the prompts.
Hey! Look! User Settings!
It’s a miracle.
But after her son played with the console and entered the correct settings?
The game and the television were frozen.
For another hour.
But, after restarting the console, again, this magically appeared.
And …. OMG!
OF COURSE NOT!
An hour later?
Another hour later?
HALLELUJAH! ** HALLELUJAH! ** HALLELUJAH!
C’mon, Club New Jersey!
Why yes, I do want to join Club, NJ!
Sweet baby, Jesus!
Meleah threw confetti and began stretching with anticipation.
What the what?
And then this happened.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
And that’s exactly when Meleah gave up on the Wii U.
Thirty-eight was probably the worst year of my life, especially regarding my never-ending annoying medical issues. I’ve struggled a lot and I’ve certainly cried a lot. But I’ve also laughed a lot – mostly because of the people in my life, like you.
In fact, I would like to use this opportunity to express my gratitude, to my amazing friends, for making my life way less shitty – literally and figuratively. I would not have been able to get out of bed, fight the good fight, or find the funny, without your support, virtual hugs, comments, emails, text messages, and love. And I just want to thank each and every one of you – with my WHOLE heart.
Here’s to my last year before turning 40!