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FIND THE FUNNY AGAIN, MOFOS! FFS!! – My SON & HIS TATTOOS – Edition.

So, yeah …

My son is 21 years old.
He’s a senior @ Rutgers University + the VP of his PIKE fraternity.
He’s got a 3.7GPA.
Graduating in May.
With a degree in English.
Psyche, minor.

Clearly, he is FAR beyond my control – even though I still pay all of his bills.
But THAT is another, story, for another day.

Anywhoo….

My son has lived for the band “The Beatles” since he was 5 years old.
John Lennon & Paul McCartney changed his life. So we’ll just call that ‘good’ parenting. Because he might be the ONLY ‘Millennial’ who even knows who those people are.

Also?

You should probably know, my son may/or may not have watched the AMC series, BREAKING BAD, at a VERY young age.

So take my son’s Beatle ‘obsession’ + his BB ‘obsession’ + his love for tattoos – another story, for another day.

And this is what happens….

————-

I have a cutting board in my kitchen, of the Breaking Bad character, Jessie Pinkman.
But his face, on my cutting board, is CARVED IN, with catch phrases from the show.

 

 

 

 

Brilliant, right?
Indeed.

 

 

 

 

Well…

My son?

He decided to combine his love for THE BEATLES and his love for the series BREAKING BAD, and he stole my cutting board idea.

Justin’s newest tattoo?

It’s JOHN LENNON!
Outlined with BEATLE LYRICS.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHAT?

PS:
Don’t worry ya’ll!
It’s on his upper thigh and hidden even if he’s wearing shorts.

Lima Beans

So….

This is what happens when your 21 year-old-son comes back – from college, for the weekend – to do laundry & eat a home-cooked meal. Even though we’re finally face-to-face, apparently, we still only communicate through phones/apps. Like DITTY.

 

JCH TO ME:

MY REPLY:

Remember When?

Remember when, we first met?

Remember when, we used to laugh?

Remember when, we bonded?

Remember when, we used to let …

The stories of our lives unfold,

And the silly minutia that was told?

Remember when we used to care

And we were so connected?

Remember when we hung on each other’s words?

And weren’t sofa king scared?

 

 

My heart is broken.

I cannot breathe

Not one more single breath.

 

My lungs are choking on gun-filled-smoke.

I don’t want to hear one more political joke.

 

If we don’t stop, now and here?

I believe the end is near.

 

But I cannot live with all of this fear.

 

————————————————————–

 

So yeah,

The world is legit FUCKED.

Actually, fucked.

Like never before.

Fucked.

FUCKED.

 

 

And I am NOT talking about the Election.

I am NOT talking about our President.

 

NO.

 

I am talking about the crazy shootings like: Florida & Vegas!

I am talking about the natural disasters like: the hurricanes, the earthquakes, and the out-of-control fires. Like, hello, even Mother Nature is pissed the fuck off.

I am talking about the celebrity Icons proving to be rapists. Bringing a necessary, yet, upsetting light – to the abuse perpetrated upon women – who’ve been too scared to speak.

I am talking about the whole state of our divided country.

We can’t even watch a goddamned football game without national outrage.

 

RIGHT OR WRONG?

I CAN’T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE.

I JUST CAN’T.

 

Remember when the Kardashian’s & Charlie Sheen were all the rage on the news?

CAN WE GO BACK TO THAT?

BECAUSE THE UNIVERSE HAS GONE MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

A very dear friend of mine, posted on his FB Page:

“I miss the days when we took up our quills and blogged. For many of us, those were the times we formed deep and lasting connections. Also, the times when we revealed far too much about ourselves online.”

 

And yanno what?

I really miss those days.

I really need those days.

I NEED those days, to come back, again, and, soon.

Because now a days?

“Could the news BE any more: upsetting, terrifying, depressing, nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing, or horrifying? I think not. THINGS HAVE TO GET BETTER! They just have to! I cannot take much more! Dear, Lord! MAKE IT STOP!”

 

We’re all very busy.

We’re all very consumed.

But I would just like to reconnect to my ‘online’ LOVED ONES – the way we used to. Prolly cuz we ALL need it right now.

 

This is NOT a forum for political debate.

This is NOT a forum for devastating news.

This is NOT a forum to re-hash what our minds are already bludgeoned with, daily.

 

Instead, I would LIKE to go back to the good old days, when it wasn’t HORRIFING, to be on the Internet.

Instead, I am DYING to hear your stories of minutia!

Let’s talk about spiders & bridges! Or, let’s talk about our spouses & children? Or discuss your diet & exercise routines? Show me your photos? Or just complain about waiting in line for coffee.

FFS!!

WHO’S WITH ME??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So … This Happened

Once Upon A Time, there was a girl named Meleah.

And when she was 21 years old – she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

And then she blinked her eyes,  and,  HE turned 21 years old!!

And then, she cried, and cried, and cried.

The end.

————————————————————————

Happy 21st Birthday, Mother Fucker!!!

  • Here are some highlights of your life, in no particular order!

 

 

 

All Things TV

Once a week, usually on Tuesdays, I will be posting on my TV blog – aptly named Melevision.

After my posts are live, I will add the link below – therefore updating this very post weekly too.

All you have to do is click on the title.

Enjoy!

 

* ——– Watched & Reviewed ——– *

NEWER SHOWS:

Crisis In Six Scenes | Season One | Amazon Prime

Goliath | Season One | Amazon Prime

Fortitude | Season One | Amazon Prime

The Kettering Incident | Season One| Amazon Prime

FleaBag | Season One| Amazon Prime

Sneaky Pete | Test Pilot | Amazon Prime

Good Girls Revolt | Season One | Amazon Prime

Hunted | Season One| Amazon Prime

Search Party | Season One | TBS

The Fall | Season Three | Netflix

Black Mirror | Season Three | Netflix

The OA | Season One | Netflix

Sense 8 | Season One | Netflix

This Is Us | Season One | NBC

The Killing Season – A&E

Leah Remini – Scientology – A&E

Chance | Season One | Hulu

 

 

OLDER SHOWS:

Breaking Bad – All Seasons – AMC/Netflix

Dexter – All Seasons – Showtime/Netflix

The Killing – All Seasons – AMC/Netflix

Scrubs – All Seasons – NBC/ABC/Netflix

Arrested Development – All Seasons – Fox/Netflix

Shameless – Season One – Showtime

 

 

FYI: I do NOT write spoilers when reviewing a new series or covering an entire season. Because that’s just rude. I’m only here to give you an over-view peppered with my personal opinions. The only time I will include  spoilers are when I’m writing a re-cap: for one particular episode of one particular series. And, you will have fair warning when doing so. That is all. Carry on.

 

Elf On A Shelf – The ‘Angry’ Jewish Version

Wednesday morning I woke up at 6:00am – after two days, in bed, with a stomach virus AND my period. I stripped away my sweaty, germ-infested, dirty, sheets, and headed to the laundry room. And that’s when I saw my first Nicholas Cage head. I thought, “WTF? Why is that here?” And started to laugh.

 

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On my way downstairs I noticed more Nicholas Cage heads. But I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, or if I was still dreaming.

Groggy and confused, I poured my 1st cup of coffee. And that’s when I saw another Nicholas Cage head on the side of my refrigerator.

 

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Still wiping the crust out of my eyes …

I see ANOTHER Nicholas Cage head on my kitchen table.

 

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WHAT THE F%CK IS HAPPENING?

 

 

Now if you don’t know me, you don’t know I have serious OCD issues.
Like, legit diagnosed, OCD.
Bad.

 

Immediately my thought process starts with …

“Are you kidding me? Who wasted all of our printer ink making Nicholas Cage heads? Why are these all over my house? Holy fucking shit, people. Don’t I clean enough? Y’all have to leave ACTUAL TRASH for me to find and clean up? Because YOU think it’s FUNNY?!!”

I am literally on a violent rampage, inside my own head.

Because at 6am this was NOT funny.

Oh, no.

At 6am, NOTHING IS FUCKING FUNNY, especially without coffee.

 

Instead of taking pictures of these random Nicholas Cage heads [in the wall unit, in the family photos on the walls, in the downstairs bathroom] I proceeded to rip them down – all the while huffing, and puffing, and muttering expletives.

 

A few hours later, my darling son, JCH, arises from the dead – home from college on winter break. He attempts to get a cup of coffee with a shit-eating-grin plastered on his face.

 

“JUSTIN, ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE GODDAMN NICHOLAS CAGE HEADS ALL OVER MY HOUSE? WTF, DUDE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”

 

He doesn’t reply.

At all.

Just grabs his coffee and leaves.

 

“YOU BETTER GET RID OF THIS SHIT, YO! I CAN’T WITH THIS. I AM NOT LAUGHING.”

 

A few hours later – while laundering, cleaning, and cooking – I see ANOTHER Nicholas Cage head inside the kitchen ‘cutting board’ drawer.

 

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And then, I started to laugh.

Like full body giggle.

And then, it finally dawned on me.

My son was actually PLAYING with me.

Something he hasn’t done, in a VERY long time, and especially NOT often, now that he’s away in college.

And I posted it on Facebook …….

 

screen-shot-2016-12-21-at-8-13-50-pm

 

And then I went on THE HUNT to find these crazy Nicholas Cage heads – all over my damn house!!

I found NC Heads:

Inside other photos, IN FRAMES. On my bed. Inside my desk. On the toilets. And on door handles.

 

* Apparently, Justin planted over 150 Nicholas Cage heads somewhere in my house. I may find myself laughing for the next few months.

 

———————————-

Dear Justin,

Well played, Whosteen.

Well, played.

Your grandfather, Poppa-Uh, will be proud.

Love,
M

So … This Happened. [MMA Edition]

This past summer, my son, JCH aka Whosteen, trained and fought in his VERY FIRST MMA Competition.
And after only 3 months of training – he went up against a man twice his size with 5 years of training.

Here’s what happened!

Enjoy!

VIDEO WITH EDITING AND MUSIC:

RAW FOOTAGE:

HELLO … IT’S ME …

HELLO

IT’S ME

AND I’M STILL ADDICTED TO WATCHING TOO MUCH TV …

 

It’s been a while.

Yeah.

Like, a really long while.

Whatevs.

I’m not going to waste anyone’s time with details, excuses, or dramatic re-enactments explaining my disappearance. Aint nobody got time for that.

 

However?

And, luckily for y’all…

My undying love – for all things television – has NOT been compromised.

not. even. a. little.

In fact – during my unexplained absence – my love affair with TV has grown even stronger.

 

 

With the newest viewing options; from cable and networks providing ondemand capabilities – to Smart TV’s and RoKu apps, such as: Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime?

I’ve inevitably developed a sixth-sense. For real, people. I’ve been given a gift. Finding the most awesome television shows, ever.

Some people read fortunes, see the dead, or communicate with the other side. Other people provide stock options, develop retirement plans, or figure out super fancy shit with money. Some people learn. Some people teach. Some people have degrees. And some people just flip burgers or mop floors.

I am not any of those people.

I’m just a television junkie. Committed to all things TV since 1974.

And I am here to give you the inside info.

1. I’ll let you know when something is worthy of binge-watching. And I’ll give you the reasons why.
2. I’ll let you know when something is NOT worthy of binge-watching. And I’ll give you those reasons why

Why?
Because I’m nice like that.

 

On the other hand?

I am NOT going to research facts, or spend hours perusing IMBD, or spend one second looking up Rotten Tomato or other notable Critic Scores. I am NOT going to read reviews before, during, or after – watching any show, on any venue, ever.

This is just an unbiased and un-researched television junkie’s blog.

That. Is. All.

So…

Brew some coffee, or pour yourself a cocktail, and let’s watch too much TV, together, again! Hope y’all enjoy my recommendations, as much as I enjoy watching these shows.

  • In the future, I will be posting weekly over HERE.

That’s, right  Click HERE.

HERE:   http://melevision.net

Love,
M!

 

 

News and Politics …. I Can’t Anymore.

I’ve never been much of a “news” person. Hell, in my 20’s & 30’s I got all of my news from the E! Channel & TMZ.

I’ve also never been much of a “political” person, either. I didn’t even know all of the previous presidents until my 20’s & 30’s.

Now that I’m in my 40’s, I’ve finally become a news & political person. And I’ve never been more upset. I cannot turn on the TV, radio, or any social media, without being heartbroken & sick to my stomach – daily.

That being said, as a realistic & responsible adult, I understand it’s my duty to be informed. Informed to make educated decisions and able to construct reasonable opinions.

But lately?

I just want to go back inside my “bubble” of “ignorance” – when the biggest source of conflict & the only thing to protest was the newest fashion trend, or, gossiping over which celebrity was having an illicit affair.

Between the upcoming election, America’s Never-Ending War in the Middle East, gun control, women’s rights, weirdo food issues, ISIS, terrorism, racism, homophobia, the recent tragic events in Florida, and the current unnecessary shootings – I’m ready to barricade myself at home, lock the doors, close the blinds, and refuse to emerge until the world figures out how to resolve itself.

In the meantime?

I’ll be watching Bravo and/or Netflix & Hulu – in my pajamas, under the covers, with the AC blasting, while enjoying a non-stop I.V. pumping cocktails full of alcohol & antidepressants into my veins.

B’Shert

To my darling, Daniel.

Forever yours.

Love,
M

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