When the police arrived, my throat had already swollen shut.
“She’s going into Anaphylaxis shock,” the Officer radioed the paramedics while strapping a cold, plastic, oxygen mask to my face.
“What did you have to eat?” He asked.
But I couldn’t answer him.
I motioned to my 15-year-old son, Justin, who called 911, to get me a piece of paper to write on. While sucking down the oxygen as if it were my very last breath, I quickly scribbled: Chicken Cesar Salad, Two Martinis, 5 Benadryl, 1 Allegra, and ½ a Xanax. I had taken those medications the second I felt the onset of an allergic reaction.
My earlobes and eyelids itched like a bad case of athlete’s foot. My sinus passages closed, and my cheeks looked like a chipmunk storing nuts for the winter. My lips puffed up like Mick Jagger, with a collagen injection. And, my hands and feet blew up to the size of baseball gloves. My whole body felt as if I was being stabbed, repeatedly, with burning-hot-itchy-spiky-needles.
One by one the EMS stormed into my bedroom wielding medical supplies. And suddenly there was a sea of people wearing navy blue uniforms surrounding me. Everything seemed to be happening so fast, and yet, in slow motion. My son explained the situation to the paramedics, as I nodded in agreement.
A member of the EMS asked, “What are you allergic to?”
I desperately tried to talk, all to no avail. Snapping my fingers, I pointed to my pocketbook. My son handed me my gigantic, red, leather, purse and I rummaged around inside, until I pulled out the list of food I am not supposed to eat.
Then the paramedics asked my son if I had an Epi-Pen. But, I didn’t. However, there was one in my mother’s bedroom closet. Alas, they were unable to distribute the shot, because my name was not on the prescription.
The next thing I knew, another EMS member had to place an IV in my right hand. I have a history of passing out at the mere sight of a needle. I ripped the oxygen mask off my face, gasped, and squeezed out the words, “I am going to faint.”
That’s when the only female paramedic, Tracy, took my left hand and held it tightly inside her purple glove. There was something very comforting about her face, and I felt safe with her watching over me. Meanwhile another paramedic simultaneously wrapped a tourniquet around my left arm and swabbed the inside of my elbow with alcohol wipes. I thought they were going to draw blood, however, they were only trying to distract me, to prevent me from losing consciousness.
All of a sudden, my right hand felt very wet and very warm. I looked over to see blood tricking down from the IV and onto my green, silk, duvet cover. Spots flashed before my eyes. A whole new level of fear and anxiety washed over me. I whipped my head back around toward Tracy, and locked eye contact with her. She could see the desperation plastered on my face. Huffing and puffing, I took several deep breaths of oxygen.
“You’re doing great.” Tracy stated as a matter of fact, “You’re going to be okay.”
After I calmed down a little bit, the paramedics helped me to my feet, and put me on the gurney. I was being taken to the Emergency Room.
Once we were in the ambulance, the paramedics placed heart monitor leads all over my chest and stomach. Then, they gave me an injection of Epinephrine in my upper thigh.
And then my blood pressure spiked to 187/114.
I started shaking. I thought I was having convulsions. I heard the words hypertensive and tachycardia, before receiving another shot of something in my arm.
My heart rate skyrocketed and then rapidly plummeted.
And then my blood pressure dropped to 90/51.
Shivering from deep down inside, my teeth chattered uncontrollably.
I knew I was fighting for my life.
I really don’t remember very much after that. It’s all kind of a blur. I can only recall little snippets.
I remember getting to the hospital and feeling a tiny sense of relief, yet still feeling absolutely terrified that I was going to die. And I remember my mother, my father, and my brother showing up. I remember mildly freaking out about my health insurance cards being put back into my wallet in the proper place. Because when I feel that out-of-control, my OCD kicks into over drive. But, I don’t know how long I was in the hospital. And I don’t know what kind of medications they distributed.
I vaguely remember the drive home after being discharged. I sat in the passenger seat of my mother’s car thinking it was all a bad dream. I have no idea how I got upstairs, or into my pajamas, before climbing into bed utterly drained.
I can honestly say – this was the single most frightening experience of my entire life. And I’ve been held-up at gunpoint, ya’ll.
I’ve been wandering around aimlessly for the past few days. While I am EXTREMLY GRATEFUL simply to be alive, I can’t help but feel incredibly sad, very confused, and completely traumatized. And of course, I am petrified to eat food. Because if something as simple as LETTUCE, can potentially KILL ME? I’m not willing to gamble my life and throw caution to the wind, by eating ANYTHING. Apparently, because I am allergic to so many foods, and because my list of ‘Do Not Eat Foods’ is forever changing, even if I eat something that I’ve had 100 times before, I still might run the risk of facing a life-threatening reaction.
As of right now, I am on a steady diet of cheese and chicken broth. And I am on a prednisone + benadryl cocktail, per hospital release instructions. I have to schedule an appointment with my allergy specialist next week. Although, it’s highly doubtful he will ever be able to exactly pinpoint the cause of my violent reaction.
* On a lighter note, maybe I should get my own version of “Man vs. Food.” Except in my version, I can actually die. It’ll make that Adam Richman look like a totally pussy compared to me. And just think of the ratings!
PS: During this whole debacle, my best friend ‘Amy The Bartender’ knew something wasn’t right when she saw my son’s Facebook status update: “Paramedics at the house.” Then she knew something was really very wrong when she didn’t receive any text messages back from me. And my own Facebook status hadn’t been updated. But what made her the most nervous was the fact that no one had taken any photos.
In any event, I would like to thank my son, Justin, and, the Manalapan Paramedics, from the bottom of my heart, for saving my life. Without them, I would not be here today.
And a tip of the hat to EVERY SINGLE volunteer that helps save lives – every single day.
*REVISED/UPDATE*
My brother, Adam, was the only one who had the wherewithal to take a photo. I have no idea why it’s all crooked. But here I am.
PPS: I wrote this post using some of the tricks/skillz/techniques I learned from reading this book, written by my friend Margaret Andrews. [But more on THAT, another day.]
So, have any of you ever had a near-death experience?
And if so…do tell!
Oh my Goodness Me Me, this seriously sounds so terrifying. I’m glad you are doing better but it’s pretty sad knowing that even what you’ve had eaten plenty of times can potentially become fatal. My closest brush with death was during my separation and a few pills that almost did the trick due the depression of the situation.
Anyhow, very well related story and i hope and wish for your recovery. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
Thank you, Sergio.
But what we really want to know is how is the green, silk duvet?
Seriously, my friend. What a terrifying experience. You’re going to feel sad and confused because you’ve been through a major trauma and your body has been pump full of all kinds of meds. Be patient with yourself.
Big hugs…
I’m just glad your OK M. no near death experiences for me..other than a few close calls in the truck….
Thanks, Jayne.
And the bloodstains have been removed from my green, silk, duvet cover.
I never want to go through anything like that EVER again.
OMG, sweet thing, my heart was in my throat the whole time I was reading this. Thank God you are okay! Please take care of yourself, I can’t imagine a world without Meleah.
PS – okay, I did smile a little bit at the fact that you know it’s serious when nobody takes pictures.
PSS – okay, I smiled a bit more about the fact that you used Margaret’s book to help you write about your near-death experience. You are SUCH a blogger! 🙂
Love you, sweet thing. Take care!!!
xoxoxox
Thanks, Nicky. I love you girl.
And, I’m not ready for a world without Meleah, either!
Two martinis? Oh my god you’re allergic to alcohol! You poor thing.
Glad to have you back in the land of the living.
“Approve”
Me too, Marty. Me too.
I better NOT be allergic to Vodka!
That was scary beyond words. I cannot begin to know how that feels, and no I’ve not had any near death or life threatening experiences – thankfully. I can understand the confusion and sadness after such a traumatic experience, and I, too, would be afraid to eat for a long while. We are all glad you are still in the land of the living. Take it slow and easy until you get your bearings again.
Thank you, Linda. Trying to read/comment on other people’s blogs has been helpful as a distraction. However, I’m still pretty foggy, so I might not make a whole lot of sense!
Oh wow….so glad you’re ok!
I am happy you are okay. That’s a lot of medication in a short period of time. Everything will feel a little upside down until it wears off.
Justin called 911? So Justin saved your life.
That’s an amazing and incredible story. Luckily, I’m not allergic to anything…except Benadryll.
Holey Moley Meleah – That is a frightening adventure for sure. I am glad that you are on the mend and hope that your doctors can help you find some answers and decent solutions. Not eating doesn’t sound very healthy. Neither does a “liquid diet” of vodka, although that might be helpful for your nerves. Feel better!!!
Holey Moley Meleah – That is a frightening adventure for sure. I am glad that you are on the mend and hope that your doctors can help you find some answers and decent solutions. Not eating doesn’t sound very healthy. Neither does a “liquid diet” of vodka, although that might be helpful for your nerves. Feel better!!!
Holey Moley Meleah – That is a frightening adventure for sure. I am glad that you are on the mend and hope that your doctors can help you find some answers and decent solutions. Not eating doesn’t sound very healthy. Neither does a “liquid diet” of vodka, although that might be helpful for your nerves. Feel better!!!
Holey Moley Meleah – That is a frightening adventure for sure. I am glad that you are on the mend and hope that your doctors can help you find some answers and decent solutions. Not eating doesn’t sound very healthy. Neither does a “liquid diet” of vodka, although that might be helpful for your nerves. Feel better!!!
Holey Moley Meleah – That is a frightening adventure for sure. I am glad that you are on the mend and hope that your doctors can help you find some answers and decent solutions. Not eating doesn’t sound very healthy. Neither does a “liquid diet” of vodka, although that might be helpful for your nerves. Feel better!!!
Holey Moley Meleah – That is a frightening adventure for sure. I am glad that you are on the mend and hope that your doctors can help you find some answers and decent solutions. Not eating doesn’t sound very healthy. Neither does a “liquid diet” of vodka, although that might be helpful for your nerves. Feel better!!!
Holey Moley Meleah – That is a frightening adventure for sure. I am glad that you are on the mend and hope that your doctors can help you find some answers and decent solutions. Not eating doesn’t sound very healthy. Neither does a “liquid diet” of vodka, although that might be helpful for your nerves. Feel better!!!
Holey Moley Meleah – That is a frightening adventure for sure. I am glad that you are on the mend and hope that your doctors can help you find some answers and decent solutions. Not eating doesn’t sound very healthy. Neither does a “liquid diet” of vodka, although that might be helpful for your nerves. Feel better!!!
Yikes!
Oh my word! I would be scared to ever eat again, and I most certainly would STILL be a nervous wreck after that! I’m so glad you are alright!
Yes I did have an experience that almost snatched me from this world. I don’t really know what to call it, as palpitations doesn’t come anywhere near this experience. It had happened to me before (in fact three times in all) but this time it didn’t go as well as the other times.
My heart beats so hard (that’s the only way I can explain it) and with such force that my whole body literally bounces with each beat. When they put me on the heart machine that beeps, it is one continuous beep with no breaks at all. I can’t remember what my heart rate was now but it was way over the norm, as you would expect. They had given me injections to slow the heart down before, but this time I felt a sensation flowing through my veins and going round my body, and I was drifting away. I remember letting out a low moan as I did so. The nurse quickly did what they always do when they want to keep you in this world. She asked me to tell her my name and then my address just to keep me awake (as they do). Slowly the sensation stopped and my heart settled down. I wanted to fall asleep right then and there. I was so tired. It was as if I’d run a hundred marathons. The problem was I was afraid to fall asleep, in case I didn’t wake up again, and I didn’t go to sleep until later that night. They let me go home once my heart rate had dropped down to 116.
It was very scary, as I’m sure your experience was.
Wow! WHAT A STORY!!!
I’m glad you’re alive and better!
Whew!!!
so sorry you had to endure this mel………you really cant get a break, can you?
Big hugs, my friend, it has to go up from here. Life is like a pendulum, and you have to start swinging in the good zone soon. xoxoxox
OMG girl….I was reading this with severe heart palpatations!!!!
What a horrifying experience. I am soooooooooo glad to hear you’re alright.
Coming from a family with severe allergies, I know it’s difficult for the allergist to pinpoint exactly what causes every allergy. But, hopefully he will be able to at least narrow it down to a few things and then he can test you for each one.
Sending ya HUGE hug and LOTS of ‘good energy.’
((((( You ))))))
Take care, my Libra friend!
X
Oh my god, that is truly scary. If I’d gone through the same thing I’d be a basketcase for sure.
Your post scared me so much….!!!!! You DID write it beautifully, but
that is so-not-important compared to what happened! HOW SCARY! So you
don’t know if it was anchovies, lettuce or anything else, right? But
the specialist will help. I am SO HAPPY YOU ARE OK… that is the
scariest scariest SCARIEST story….. keep us up to date please!!!!!
Oh, my gosh, how scary. It must be hard to live like that, not knowing what will set off an allergic reaction. I hope your doctor can help you figure it out because living off of cheese and chicken broth does not sound like much fun. Good luck and I hope your are feeling better!
Outside of voluntarily living in a politically unstable part of the world at a very violent time in its history I’ve never had a NDE, but what I have done many times now is been on the blue uniform end of that whole experience and I know how scary it can be for a patient. Epi’s one of those things that can sometimes feel like the cure is worse than the malady but it does so much good!
Do you have a ‘File of Life’? Its a red envelope that has a paper in it containing your medical history. They make a magentized one for the fridge door and a small one for your purse so you can hand it to someone if you can’t talk and they can know where to start from. The fridge door one comes with a sticker that goes on the front door so the medics know to look for it. I can send you both kinds if you want them.
Babs– I think that’s called superventricular tachycardia, or SVT. I know a couple of people with it and every once in a while it happens. Been on a couple of those; I can’t administer the good drugs so I’m usually the one holding someone’s hand going, “LOOK AT ME!You are going to be okay! What’s your address?” 🙂
Gave us a good scare there Meleah. Hang in there, and I wish you a quick road to recovery!
Me too!
Yes, my son, Justin called 911.
Um….
Oh I haven’t had any REAL food OR alcohol since this incident.
In the last two days I’ve eaten 5 pieces of cheese. 3 cheddar and 2 swiss.
Seriously.
Thank, Christine. I haven’t even told anyone the worst part of this whole
thing.
Because I’m not ready to talk about the aftermath just yet. But things MUST
go up from here.
Well, I have to schedule an appointment with him to refill my Epi-Pens
anyway!
Oh Babs!
That must have been TERRIFYING!
I’m sooo happy YOU came out of that ALIVE!
xoxooxoxox
I am STILL a COMPLETE basket-case.
Thanks Lucy. I’m not really in a “good place” right now.
And on top of all of this, I am dealing with a VERY uncomfortable ?family
issue’.
But it’s one that I do NOT want to discuss just yet.
Ya’ll will find out when I am ready to share.
Oh, it’s nice to finally know what it’s called. They put me on beta blockers and I haven’t had an attack since. The last one being about 30 years ago 🙂
Me too, and YOU!! We both could have been in heaven dancing with the angels, or even blogging?
holy crap! OMG my friend, how terrifying!…sooOOOoooo glad you are OK now! Do you think you could get the recipe/ingredients from the place where you had the salad? – it least then maybe you COULD pinpoint the culprit? ~xoxoxo!!!
This is absolutely terrifying! Poor baby! I’m horrified that you experienced this nightmare. I think maybe the worst thing of all is not knowing what caused the reaction because if you knew, you could guard against it ever happening again. Oh Meleah, this is just awful. I’m so sorry you had this happen to you.
Oh yes please. I definitely need one of those File Of Life thingys. Like
ASAP.
And, can I just say that I think you are an AMAZING woman!!!
Shieldmaiden – [I want to use your real name, but, I’m not sure if YOU would
approve]
Anyway…what you do, is EXACTLY what the EMT Tracy did for me.
She was the hand holding, comforting presence, that kept me sane through
this whole thing!