Let’s face it.
We all have fears.
Some are justifiable fears.
And others?
Not so much.
My fear of fire stems way back to my childhood when I was about five or six years old. When I was a little girl before I could go to bed, I packed up all of my favorite things and placed them neatly inside of a milk crate. I am not even joking when I tell you that I slept holding onto that milk crate full of my beloved items. I performed this ritual every single night – just in case – there was ever a fire and I was forced to run out of the house. I was fully prepared to save my most cherished belongings.
Now, I have never been in a fire. Nor have I even been close to a fire. But for some reason, I have spent my life overly concerned with the threat of a fire. And I have no idea why.
Maybe my fear of impending fire comes from all of those ‘Smokey The Bear’ commercials that used to be on television? Or maybe it’s because of all the ‘Fire Drills’ we used to have in school? Or maybe, I am just crazy? But whatever the reasons may be, I am STILL extremely cautious when it comes to an open flame, or anything remotely fire-related. And it’s kind of becoming problematic.
And here’s why….
It’s been unusually cold around here. Like unbelievably and unnecessarily cold. Like -10 degrees kind of cold. As such, we’ve had our heat running 24 hours a day. That normally wouldn’t be a problem, except that I’ve also had an awful case of insomnia for well over three weeks now. And if you combine a sleep-deprived person, with a side of crazy and Arsonphobia, it’s not a very pretty picture. And last night was no exception.
I was laying in bed praying to the sleep god’s for mercy. I even turned off the television in hopes of falling into a deep slumber. But every time I heard the furnace kick-on, I immediately imagined every possible worst case scenario. Why? Because I am completely paranoid the furnace will suddenly explode, without warning, and we’re all going to die a fiery death.
I spent several hours, intensely listening, and obsessing, over every sound emanating from the hallway while wondering: Can a furnace just ignite abruptly? Is that even possible? What’s that noise, and is that normal? Why does the furnace sound so angry? And then I drove myself right into a case of the cold sweats, because after living here for THREE YEARS, it suddenly dawned on me that if our furnace really did explode? My grandfather, my son, and I, would be TOTALLY TRAPPED. With no way out.
See diagram below….
Clearly, the way my house is designed – they placed the furnace in a dangerous location. And, I should also probably mention that our bedrooms are located on the second floor, so jumping out of the window would not be a viable option.
Of course that realization sent me into a full-blown nervous, anxious, wreck. In fact, I was so worried I became panic-stricken. I jumped out of my bed, raced over to my computer and immediately Googled: ‘Emergency Fire Escape Window Rope Ladders’. And then I ordered three of them. But that wasn’t good enough. Nope. Because those rope ladders aren’t going to do me any good until they get here. And as far as I was concerned, we could have been in immediate danger. So, I continued imagining my family engulfed in flames before I decided I needed to take matters into my own hands. And here’s when ya’ll find out exactly just how crazy I really am.
I crept downstairs as quietly as possible, and grabbed the extra Fire Extinguisher from the garage. Now properly armed to fight a fire, I brought it back to my bedroom, and I slept with it.
Yep.
It’s official.
I’ve lost my mind.
I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the ‘Men In White Coats’ come to take me away.
So, what are some of YOUR fears?
And do any of those fears actually keep you up at night?
Or am I the only one?
*PS: If anyone else is still having comment issues, please email me. I think the problem has been fixed.
Don’t go on the roof, Linda. The roof is coated in tar, which is highly flammable. Get yourself an escape ladder.
Well, for one, we’ve actually been evacuated because of wildfires two of the last four years. We’ve had to select two cars worth of valuables and leave. So our precious items are always packed. These fires always come during the windy season, so high winds … or even a sniff of smoke … keeps me awake.
All my other big fears have to do with dying … not so much me as loved ones. My brother in law losing his wife made me very afraid of losing mine. Sometimes when I can’t hear her breathing at night, I put my hand on her to be sure she’s warm.
I bet you were Scarlet O’Hara in your past life and making that escape from a burning Charleston is literally, burned into your soul.
But seriously, girl, you need to get some help and some sleep. I spent years having panic attacks, afraid of everything – driving, eating at restaurants, going on elevators. church, etc – Although I haven’t had one of these panic attacks in years I still have my moments. I get really bad migraines about 3-4 times a month and every time I get one I think I am dying, so I go around cleaning every inch of the house, washing every piece of clothing and telling my husband “promise me you’ll kiss the kids, hug them and tell them you love them every day and oh yeah make sure your sister Allia takes them shopping for clothes so they don’t look like dorks, make sure you give all my jewelry to Laila . . .. and this goes on and on over the 24-48-72 hour period of my headache – after 14 years he just smiles and says OK. I’m sure your family is the same way, but I know how much it sucks being so afraid of something. Hope you finally got some sleep.
OMG I could have freaking wrote this! i have those damned ladders too, and my bed is exactly 2 stories directly above the furnace, and i cant even tell you how many times I fear the thing is going to blow! LOL But then again, I’m the worst kind of neurotic about every single thing from dog pissing on my lawn to the furnace blowing, LOL
Fear of rejection. Yep. Im very familiar with that one too!
And thanks Mike, now I will sleep MUCH better!
Yes. Yes. I am.
Or three of them!
At least your fear of fire is justifiable!
And, I’m very sorry to hear about your brother-in-laws wife. That’s so sad.
Shelia,
I don’t know what’s happened to me.
I was NEVER scared of anything.
Hell, I hitch-hiked across country with nothing more than $50.00 when I was
a teenager. Yes I was reckless but I was also quite fearless.
Now?
I’m afraid of everything.
Driving, flying, fires, heights, spider, snakes, rollercoaster’s, ect…
It’s pretty bad, because I know my fears are getting in the way of me living
a fulfilling life.
Yes!! Thank you, Christine!
Welcome to Crazy Town!
Population: 2!
🙂
“Now that I’m sleeping with a fire extinguisher, it’s no wonder I’m still single!”
Ha ha ha! There’s the name of your book! No kidding, that’s a great title! I have a fear of bugs that never ends. Twice I’ve found big bugs in my bathroom and I’ve been petrified going in there ever since.
Oh Marty, that would be a hilarious book title!
And, I hear you in the bug situation! I would seriously MOVE.
You are certifiable. I like that quality in a woman I want to have sex with.
Good for you!
Yay!
Flaming spiders on a bridge. Yep, that’s it. Definitely my worst fear.
I hear THAT!
I hear THAT!
I just hope you are never running from a spider over a bridge that catches fire!!!
My fears: heights and public speaking. I have a long list of things that gross me out (like green olives and snails) but those are my only fears.
I was going to say “You sleep with some hot stuff”, but then I realised that it extinguishes fires 😉
My biggest fears – Water (drowning), lightening (being struck) and fire (burning to death) I think fire is the worst. A fear of fire is understandable and quite normal. Sleeping with a fire extinguisher, not quite so normal. But who IS normal? 😉
I’m afraid of rats, snakes and spiders with good reason. ‘nuf said.
Ha! That makes two of us Barbara!
Ugh heights? NO, THANK YOU!
Public Speaking? Shoot me now!
I crossed over the ‘normal’ line YEARS ago Babs!
Oh yikes, drowning – yet another fear!
Ditto!
I have some fire fears too… I can’t leave the dryer running if I leave the house. I have to come back in after I’ve walked out the door to make sure no candles have been left burning.
And I’m completely with you on the spider thing. Yech!
Thank you Terri! I feel SO MUCH better now!
You are a born worrier because you care so much about people. I know exactly what you mean. And it would be nice to sleep with something so firm and streamlined next to you (like a fire extinguisher.) LOL. I don’t have a fear of fire but I am a terrible worrier when it comes to intruders or robbers. I always imagine I hear windows being smashed in the middle of the night, doors being forced and armed bandits tromping down the hallway. It all comes from when I was a student and one night the house I shared with three other people was broken into. One of my housemates wakened up with someone standing over her bed. The police got the guy but it was terrifying. If I had my way I would sleep with a huge Rottweiler on the end of the bed. Hope you get some sleep soon, hon xx
wow meleah, i think you have a law suit against smokey the bear. you can also toss the mattress out the window and jump out, no? let’s hope there’s never a fire in your house.
butterflies. i’m afraid of butterflies. i will run out into the street and get hit by a car running from a butterfly. they are nasty
Holy Shit, Selma! That’s terrifying!
And maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not THAT crazy.
Maybe I just worry so much because I care so much!
GET OUT! Butterflies? For real, Valerie?
I have a crippling fear of Emergency Fire Escape Window Rope Ladders 🙂
Ahahahahhaahah!! AHHAhahahhaHAHAHhahahah!
I’m there – I see my sisters and brothers traveling around the world, earning Doctorates, HAVING FUN and experiencing life. Me? I’ve convinced myself that I enjoy hanging out at home. What bothers me the most is what I am probably doing to my kids. I’m so afraid something will happen to them outside of this house (perverts kidnapping them) or that they will get hurt trying something new. I’ve taken a step though – I bought tickets to send the two boys to my sisters in upstate New York at the end of the school year. Now if I can just put them on the plane and let go . . .
Oh Shelia. That’s going to be very difficult.
But, probably REALLY good for all of you.
The first time
You need a different partner in your bed to take your mind off of fires and furnaces (LOL)
The technical name is Arsonophobia or Pyrophobia (from your research staff). Don’t let anyone convince that you are crazy. Well, you are a bit “eccentric”, but that’s what make you special and that’s why we love you. Everyone’s got fears/paranoias, even if they say they don’t.
I could give you a few of my phobias, but you already have enough on your mind to keep you up at nights.
However, some of my lesser ones are:
Fear being buried alive
Fear of dying while doing something stupid (Hey, Bubba, Watch This!)
Fear of getting attacked by zombies
Fear of saying something completely stupid on my blog/facebook
Fear of losing my mind (oops, too late)
Remember, chica, everyone is a bit crazy….
AGREED!
Oh Agg!
Thank you for saying that! You really made me feel better.
You’re such an awesome friend. And a most excellent “Research Team!”
PS: Fear of saying something completely stupid on my blog/facebook.
Oh, I do that THAT every day!
🙂
I, too, have an irrational fear of fire. It stems from a string of back luck with electrical appliance and a broiler fire in our kitchen when I was a child. So, it has roots. Nothing you say in this post surprises me. I think about that stuff all the time. In fact, I cannot sleep a wink when anyone is using our spare room, which has a space heater in it.
So I’m not completely certifiable!?
Thanks MomZombie!
Ladybanana? Really? Now that’s funny!
Glad to be of assistance. Let me know if there are any other fears I can help you conquer. Or replace. Or supplement.
Thanks! I will!
Welcome to my world. I don’t worry about this one as much as I did when the kids were infants but I know all about ordering rope ladders in the middle of the night and then not getting any rest until they arrive. I blamed my fear of fire on my mother because she was so terrified of fire and because she was unable to walk on her own it was up to me to get her out of the house so I always had a plan. I never packed my stuff but only because I didn’t think about it. I wish I had known you back when I was having panic attacks about this because having a suitcase full of prized possessions sounds like a good idea.
Thanks Jen!
I am thrilled to know YOU also ordered rope ladders in the middle of the
night!
I don’t have anything tangible thing that I particularly fear, but I get a little nervous walking over bridges. I keep this image that it’ll crumble. Anyway, my little brother has an insatiable fear of birds, which as his big sister I exploit when he’s behaving badly.
I know. Shame on me.
i am going to send you a picture of a bridge made out of spiders on fire
your welcome
Yes, they were among our best friends. She was the first person to comment on Bud’s Blog when I started. She really “got” how much this meant to me. I miss her a lot.
Sorry to hear about your insomnia and certainly hope that you are already sleeping soundly at night. I have a few cases where I just couldn’t fall asleep no matter how and it was certainly experience which I do not want to go through often. I am just grateful that I am able to fall asleep easily most of the time and I wish that for everyone too.
LMAO. Yeah it sounds crazy but I get the ordering of rope ladder things. Did I ever tell you of my encounter with a spider that was the size of my fist while I was taking a shower? What a delight.
Im afraid my tire will blow out while I’m driving over a bridge, causing me
to lose control of the car – and sending me into oncoming traffic, wherein I
die!
PS: You’re a MEAN sister!