Let’s face it.
We all have fears.
Some are justifiable fears.
And others?
Not so much.
My fear of fire stems way back to my childhood when I was about five or six years old. When I was a little girl before I could go to bed, I packed up all of my favorite things and placed them neatly inside of a milk crate. I am not even joking when I tell you that I slept holding onto that milk crate full of my beloved items. I performed this ritual every single night – just in case – there was ever a fire and I was forced to run out of the house. I was fully prepared to save my most cherished belongings.
Now, I have never been in a fire. Nor have I even been close to a fire. But for some reason, I have spent my life overly concerned with the threat of a fire. And I have no idea why.
Maybe my fear of impending fire comes from all of those ‘Smokey The Bear’ commercials that used to be on television? Or maybe it’s because of all the ‘Fire Drills’ we used to have in school? Or maybe, I am just crazy? But whatever the reasons may be, I am STILL extremely cautious when it comes to an open flame, or anything remotely fire-related. And it’s kind of becoming problematic.
And here’s why….
It’s been unusually cold around here. Like unbelievably and unnecessarily cold. Like -10 degrees kind of cold. As such, we’ve had our heat running 24 hours a day. That normally wouldn’t be a problem, except that I’ve also had an awful case of insomnia for well over three weeks now. And if you combine a sleep-deprived person, with a side of crazy and Arsonphobia, it’s not a very pretty picture. And last night was no exception.
I was laying in bed praying to the sleep god’s for mercy. I even turned off the television in hopes of falling into a deep slumber. But every time I heard the furnace kick-on, I immediately imagined every possible worst case scenario. Why? Because I am completely paranoid the furnace will suddenly explode, without warning, and we’re all going to die a fiery death.
I spent several hours, intensely listening, and obsessing, over every sound emanating from the hallway while wondering: Can a furnace just ignite abruptly? Is that even possible? What’s that noise, and is that normal? Why does the furnace sound so angry? And then I drove myself right into a case of the cold sweats, because after living here for THREE YEARS, it suddenly dawned on me that if our furnace really did explode? My grandfather, my son, and I, would be TOTALLY TRAPPED. With no way out.
See diagram below….
Clearly, the way my house is designed – they placed the furnace in a dangerous location. And, I should also probably mention that our bedrooms are located on the second floor, so jumping out of the window would not be a viable option.
Of course that realization sent me into a full-blown nervous, anxious, wreck. In fact, I was so worried I became panic-stricken. I jumped out of my bed, raced over to my computer and immediately Googled: ‘Emergency Fire Escape Window Rope Ladders’. And then I ordered three of them. But that wasn’t good enough. Nope. Because those rope ladders aren’t going to do me any good until they get here. And as far as I was concerned, we could have been in immediate danger. So, I continued imagining my family engulfed in flames before I decided I needed to take matters into my own hands. And here’s when ya’ll find out exactly just how crazy I really am.
I crept downstairs as quietly as possible, and grabbed the extra Fire Extinguisher from the garage. Now properly armed to fight a fire, I brought it back to my bedroom, and I slept with it.
Yep.
It’s official.
I’ve lost my mind.
I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the ‘Men In White Coats’ come to take me away.
So, what are some of YOUR fears?
And do any of those fears actually keep you up at night?
Or am I the only one?
*PS: If anyone else is still having comment issues, please email me. I think the problem has been fixed.
oh boy I thought I had a fear of fire..but I have never slept with a fire extinguisher .. :)))))
Oh, my dear! That was quite a tale. Very nice writing, by the way. I think you must have been burned badly in a past life. If you believe in such stuff. You should read up on it. There might be some clues there. “Many Lives, Many Masters,” is one of the best. I’m always interested in answers that are a little outside the box. I don’t think I have any fears on that level.
Insomnia? That’s why God created Ambien. Get yourself an Rx.
I thought sleeping with my computer was bad enough. Now that I’m sleeping with a fire extinguisher, it’s no wonder I’m still single! There’s no more room in my bed!
Thank you for such a lovely compliment about my writing Jayne. It means a lot coming from you! I definitely want to look into the possibility of being burnt in a past life! Why else would I be so terrified of fires?
When I was young I would tie a favorite stuffed animal to my jammy string… “just in case” – so I get it!
Really? Thank you for telling me that, Katherine. Now I feel a little less crazy!
Our house has floor furnaces. It’s a 135 year old Victorian. I do worry about fires too, because our bedroom is upstairs on the 2nd level. But then I figure we could climb out on the roof. The problem is that we have dogs and the dogs have toys. If one of the toys got onto a floor furnace, that could be bad. Fortunately, we live where it doesn’t usually get cold so my solution is to turn the heaters off over night. I’m afraid of tidal waves. I don’t live near the ocean, but still. I’ve worried about them for years. I can’t swim.
I have always been afraid of fire–but very fascinated by it at the same time. Dying in a fire is one of my worst fears–but I am afraid of dying in any kind of a painful way. (Dying in a snowbank–just sleeping away–seems to be a peaceful way of going.) Water is a BIG fear of mine. Friends of ours want us to go along with them on one of their cruises and I can’t do it. Just the thought of being on the water can make me have a panic attack. Also, I am TERRIFIED of killer bees–or any kind of swarming, stinging insect. And that is why I live here in the frozen north woods: for a good chunk of the year I don’t have to worry about drowning (even though I live thisclose to the Big Lake–Superior) OR getting stung. I have my own (ridiculous?) fears, so I can, in no way, tell anyone else that they are foolish for feeling the way they do.
And I think this is absolutely HYSTERICAL! “I thought sleeping with my computer was bad enough. Now that I’m sleeping with a fire extinguisher, it’s no wonder I’m still single! There’s no more room in my bed!” Love you, my dear. xoxoxo
As the queen of awakening with bizarre anxiety, I have one suggestion for you… xanax. It works for me. I know Jayne suggested Ambien. I have tried that, but it didn’t work for me. I was drowsy for 2 days. You probably wouldn’t be happy here in the Small Town. Most of us use wood burning stoves in addition to the heat.
Oh lordy, don’t even get me started on the ocean! But, Linda, that would scare the crap out of me. My whole day wold be consumed with looking for dog toys near the baseboards!
“but I am afraid of dying in any kind of a painful way.”
Yeah, me too. Like fire and/or drowning. No, thank you!
And I’m glad you ALSO have unfounded and unjustifiable fears. Not that Im glad you live in fear like I do, but just happy that I am not alone!
I love you too!
xoxoxo
“but I am afraid of dying in any kind of a painful way.”
Yeah, me too. Like fire and/or drowning. No, thank you!
And I’m glad you ALSO have unfounded and unjustifiable fears. Not that Im glad you live in fear like I do, but just happy that I am not alone!
I love you too!
xoxoxo
“but I am afraid of dying in any kind of a painful way.”
Yeah, me too. Like fire and/or drowning. No, thank you!
And I’m glad you ALSO have unfounded and unjustifiable fears. Not that Im glad you live in fear like I do, but just happy that I am not alone!
I love you too!
xoxoxo
Oh Anne, I eat xanax like they are tic-tacs. But sometimes they don’t help!
Im a little too nervous to try Ambien, in the event I will inevitably suffer from the ‘side effects’. Side effects which are highly likely and that may or may not include: waking up, naked, in a car, with a bowl of cold spaghetti on your lap, with no recollection of said events leading up to that particular scenario. Um? How About No.
🙂
Oh I don’t like spiders either. Fortunately I don’t dream about them ‘cuz hen I would never sleep. I do fear middle-of-the-night home invasion. It’s worse when hubster is out of town, not because i think he could do anything but, because it leaves me to rescue both kids. I’ve already let my neighbors know to come resue the kids off the roof after I put them out the master bath window. I guess I’m a little with “the crazies” too. I now sleep with our Doberman puppy… who’s getting bigger everyday”)
I’m terrified of the thought of fire, but I have never gone quite that far.. yet! lol
Oh snap! Im terrified of middle-of-the-night-home-invasion too! At least now I’ll be able to fight off any intruder with my fire extinguisher. Sleeping with it, is seeming like a better and better idea!
lemme know when you cross the line into crazy-town! It’s lonely in here.
I used to be afraid of spiders – so much so that, when I was a kid, I’d jump into my grandparents’ bed in the middle of the night because I saw one up in the corner of my bedroom. This became a problem because I am a ‘hot’ sleeper – my sis and mother used to crawl into bed with me to keep warm (on a bunkbed, no less) – any my granparents slept just as hot. It’s no wonder the furnace was never turned above 70 degrees in the winter. But I would kick off the covers when I got too warm. The G-rents weren’t pleased with this continuing scenario and I was finally ejected and forever banned from their bed.
Today, however, the only thing I’m terrified of is flying. And if I were to take a flight in the near future, I would probably not sleep at all and become so paranoid that they wouldn’t let me on the plane when I finally got there.
Well, maybe the fear you have of fires is a bit irrational and will keep you single. On the bright side, at least you won’t catch anything from sleeping with a fire extinguisher! 🙂
Nice piece of writing Meleah!
hahahahahah. It makes hubby talk in his sleep and grope me, but that’s the worst of it
I’m afraid of fire when I’m not home. I see smoke coming from the general direction of my house and I can’t wait to get home to see if it’s my house on fire. Then I run through the, oh crap, I didn’t unplug the iron, the coffee pot, the dryer caught on fire right after I left I just know it. I do keep important things in the closet next to the exit door, like the family pictures, my special jewelry etc, just in case. And I always keep warm clothes next to the bed just in case I have to get up and run out. I know that our fire extinguishers don’t work, I don’t even know where one is, good for you for at least knowing.
I have a feeling I would be one of those other people!
Oh yeah, I am definitely afraid of flying too!
Thanks Nicky. I’d rather be single anyway. This way, I don’t have to fake interest in sports! Or shave my legs.
Great! Now I will also be sleeping with a change of warm clothes next to the bed – just in case I have to run out for any reason. And, now I will be totally obsessed and endlessly wondering IF my fire extinguisher WORKS! *bites nails*
it WILL work if the needle is in the green on the dial. Sometimes you have to knock the stuff loose inside, I think you have to tip it upside down and tap it with a rubber mallet. Not sure about that tho, might want to goog servicing a fire extinguisher. I know the fire department does it, I think it’s free.
I couldn’t even finish reading the post because I had to hurry down here and tell you that I swear to fucking…well, you know. I have the EXACT same fear. I couldn’t even light my own cigarettes for years, among other things. It’s the worst thing ever. I can’t barbeque, I have to stand ten feet back after I light the stove, I can’t cook bacon, I have to almost sit in the house when there’s a bon fire, yattah, yattah. And I have NO reason for it either. People always ask me if something happened to me, but nothing.
I know this may not shock you after all of the things we have on common, but this one is weird.
Okay, I’m going back to reading the post now, I’ll be back.
By the way, new e-mail: amuseinmypocket(at)gmail(dot)com.
xoxo
Um. No, the needle is NOT lined up with the green in the dial. Im totally googling any & everything about fire extinguishers.
Gina, that’s it. I’m questioning my mother right now, we were DEFINITELY separated at birth!
The dogs are with me if the heaters are on so I don’t really worry that
much. These old houses do burn right to the ground though, you’re
right.
As far as the tidal waves are concerned, swimming probably wouldn’t help
me that much anyway! LOL!
Okay, so my husband read the part about the furnace and he couldn’t help but laugh hysterically because I do the same damn thing with the furnace, except I have someone to spew my insanity to at 2am. (Poor guy). And no, he doesn’t ease my mind one bit. His response to everything is, “Oh, it’ll be fine.” And I keep going with the what if’s.
You’re not alone sister.
Another huge fear; when I was little, I used to cry myself to sleep because I was so afraid of getting cancer. I have no idea why. No one in my family had it, I never knew anyone with it, it just petrified me. It was absolutely terrible.
I have many more, but I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to tell each all about our unfounded fears. Ya know, if we don’t perish in some horrendous fire or spontaneously combust.
Over and out.
That’s true Linda! No amount of swimming could save a person from a tidal wave, not even Michael Phelps!
Gina, you have a VERY good husband there. Hang on to him. Hi, Dave!
That “what if” game seriously keeps me awake a night. Maybe I need a hubby to tell me everything’s going to be okay?
And, really? Crying yourself to sleep like that as a child, awwww…….you poor thing!!
Okay, so far I haven’t had any fears that were so bad that they kept me awake at night or in a panic mode…that is until I read this blog!!!!!So, Meleah, I too, will be sleeping with our extra fire extinguisher tonight!!! And after the men in the white coats pick you up, their next stop will be my house because your Uncle will be calling them for sure!!!! lmao!!
I don’t care if you slept with a fire extinguisher. The important thing is, that you SLEPT, you know, so that you won’t be so crazy in the future as to sleep with another fire extinguisher. I hope you paid overnight postage on those fire escape ladders.
Ahahahahhaahha! Aunt Lynda! I love you.
I’m sorry I gave you a dose of total paranoia! But welcome to crazy-town!
Hopefully Uncle Vic wont KILL me the next time he see’s me!
I totally paid extra for over-night shipping!
“waking up, naked, in a car, with a bowl of cold spaghetti on your lap” And the problem is….? Hopefully once you get your ladders, check your smoke alarms, and get your own personal designed fireextinguisher, you’ll sleep a little better.
I have to agree with Jane in saying perhaps this fear is from a pastlife. I truly believe in reincarnation and that sometimes fears, phobia’s and such, are remnants from another life. I think I too have them.
And as far as fears go, yes, I have plenty. Heights, flying, someone breaking into my apartment in the middle of the night.
I also think about the possible fire too, because I live in a high-rise apartment building (20-something floor), and the thought of a fire in the middle of the night kinda freaks me. Luckily, my building is always doing fire alarm checks to make sure everything is in working order, just in case.
LOVE the diagram you made!
Hope you had a great Monday, girl!
X
You know I want that Hello Kitty one! Thanks for testing the comments for me, Jim. I appreciate it!
Maybe Ron, maybe!
I just read your flying blog post and, yeah, if I heard a pilot say, ““Sorry for the rough ride ladies and gentlemen! And the reason I didn’t come over the intercom sooner was because we temporarily lost our radar connection with the control tower, and I had no idea where we were flying. Therefore, I didn’t want to alarm you.” I would NEVER get on a plane again either!
Oh, and the diagram is pretty close to the actual layout of the upsatirs of my house!
Eliminate the trigger that causes the fear, remove the sound of the furnace when you go to sleep by wearing ear plugs. You would still hear any alarms but most low frequencies and anything below 28 decibels would be eliminated.
I don’t carry any phobias but I do remember a moment of panic. It only lasted about 30 seconds or so. Rock climbing, stuck on a mountain face, not seeing anywhere to go, no hand holds. Someone talked me through it and it passed. Literally 30 seconds. Completely bizarre as a day later I fell about ten feet, not scared at all. Just pissed off at the person who let out too much slack on the rope.
…and your fire extinguisher may work better than my puppy, but not nearly as cuddly. I hope I don’t start dreaming about fire, both kids and the dog take up all the room in my bed.
When I was living in the trailer two years ago, I started having a fear of fires because my dresser was over the register. I could just imagine the wooden dresser catching fire…
So what did I do? I slept with the window next to my bed open a little bit…so if my room did catch fire I’d open the window the rest of the way and jump.
Shawn,
That’s GREAT advice. And I might even try that.
However, it does not move the furnace from being located directly across the hall from my bedroom, and IF it ever exploded, I would be completely trapped – and die a horrible fiery death!
Yep, that’s exactly what I would have done, Nik!
But then I also would have been overly concerned with backdrafts!
If oxygen is re-introduced to the fire, e.g. by opening a door (or window) to a closed room, combustion will restart, often resulting in an ‘explosive’ effect as the gases are heated by the combustion and expand rapidly because of the rapidly increasing temperature!
I REALLY wish I was allowed to have a pet in my house! I hope you don’t start dreaming about fires either!
Oh, Meleah, you silly goose! Relax! You’re far more likely to die of carbon monoxide poisoning from your furnace than you are from fire. Now you can sleep like a pricess without a pea!
I have no serious fears. Except the fear of rejection. Eats me alive sometimes.
Because you’re nuts, as you yourself pointed out?