Sooo….My mom had a bunch of construction done during this crazy pandemic and I offered to help her clean up the “dust” – because as we all know, NO ONE cleans better than I do. After spending HOURS removing the construction mess, I did my regular “deep clean” to make her brand new bathroom SPARKLE. The first thing I do when cleaning a bathroom is squeeze in the toilet bowl cleaner, like Cling, or Clorox. I also hose down the entire bathroom with other bleachy products to let them soak into the tub/shower/sinks before scrubbing it down.
UNBEKNOWST to me … my mother’s new electronic fancy toilet bowl is also a bidet, which shoots temperature-controlled water into your ‘area’ for optimal hygiene ‘down there’. And even though I scrubbed THE FUCK out of her toilet, and flushed it a few times?
Apparently, that wasn’t good enough – because there was still Clorox ‘residue’ that remained ON THE JETS of said bidet. So when my poor mom went to use her freshly cleaned toilet?
All hell broke loose.
And it basically burned her Bajingo right off.
And then she ended up getting a U.T.I.
Sorry, Mommy.
My Bad.
Oh…
AND THEN?
And, then …
Her new spa/bathtub has all these different buttons, knobs, handles, jets, waterfalls, and spray guns – that NO ONE has fully figured out how to use properly, yet.
So the second time cleaned her bathroom?
I accidentally left the spray gun in the ON position when I used it to rinse her tub EXTRA thoroughly, to avoid any future “Clorox Vaginal Burns” so when my mom turned on her bathtub?
WATER SHOT EVERYWHERE.
The walls. The floors. The ceiling. EVERYWHERE. Violently.
And she couldn’t figure out how to shut it off!
I received her frantic phone call and high-tailed it back to her house until we both figured out how to fix it!
So, obviously, I’ve been “fired” from THAT job.
** In other news….
My son, Justin, and his girlfriend, Claudia (whom I love and adore) – wanted to host their 1st “Family Dinner” in their newly updated/renovated/decorated Brooklyn apartment. I guess with everyone staying home – they’re getting to all of those projects no one ever had time for.
AND IT WAS AWESOME.
I was so impressed with what a MAN my son has truly become. At 24 years old, he’s a lot more mature and a much better host that I ever could’ve been at his age. He went all out planning the cocktail hour, giving the tour, cooking & serving the food. He even made sure my father had DECAF coffee and his favorite cookies ‘Social Teas’ for desert. And he made sure to use LIME not LEMON on my food, because he’s just so good like that. I am BEYOND proud of my son. I can’t even!
** On the school front….
We just finished the Medical Office Module. And here’s how I did:
- Chapter 4: Interacting with patients = 20/20 = 100%
- Chapter 38: Medical Records = 29/29 = 100%
- Chapter 39: Patient Reception = 19/20 (damn one wrong!)
- Chapter 41: Telephone Techniques = 20/20 = 100%
- Chapter 42: Scheduling Appointments = 24/25 (dammnit one wrong again!)
- Chapter 47: Medical Coding (NIGHTMARE) = 28/30 (thank fuck!)
- Chapter 48: Medical Insurance (was sooooo easy for me, but we didn’t have a separate test on this, it was just included in the final exam/ mid-term.)
For my Midterm/Final Exam for this portion of school?
** 97/100 **
IN YOUR FACE MEDICAL OFFICE THINGS!!
And here are my TWO favorite Facebook comments, from my daddy, after posting test scores on my profile page:
Also?
Regarding school…
WE FINALLY got to attend class IN PERSON, and not on ZOOM, in REAL LIFE!
And I got to wear my scrubs, my lab coat, and my nursing shoes, and I was never so excited/happy in my entire life!!
After my first day in the actual classroom, I realized, I definitely need WAY MORE practice doing ‘Clinicals’ like taking vitals (having a hard time with manual Blood Pressure and finding/hearing the Apical Pulse) so it’s a VERY good thing I have extremely supportive parents that decided to spring for my very own stethoscope and my very own blood pressure cuff. And now, all my friends are subject to me practicing on them!
And that’s a wrap.
Stay, tuned.
Take Care.
Love,
M
