Verizon….Can You hear me NOW?

This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time;

1. STARTING OUT PROFESSIONALLY WHEN TRYING TO CANCEL A SERVICE / PROVIDER THAT DOESN’T WORK:

Dear Sirs:
I am in receipt of my October bill charging me $xx.xx for DSL services
which includes $xx.xx for the router…
Long story short, we have yet to get access of the internet service…
The router does not work…
The support/help line people cannot help!
Essentially, I ‘m paying $xx.xx for nothing!
I was told that there would be no charge for the router, but there is!
I’m extremely unsatisfied with Verizon in this matter.
I have decided to approach Comcast for their services.
Please pick up the router from my premises, and delete those charges from my bill.
I will pay for my regular phone service, but not the internet service.
It’s immoral to charge someone a service that can’t be accessed.
Please advise medate you intend to pick up router so I can be at the house to deliver the equipment.
Any response to this email should be written.
I want everything as regards this matter in written format as to avoid any miscommunication…

2. NO RESPONSE (24 HOURS LATER AS PROMISED) LEADS TO THE NEXT LEVEL : CONFRENTATION:

Gentleman:
Verizon, contrary to their promise to respond in one biz day, has failed to address my need and request…. We have just gone 24 hours with no resolution and/or response… This is precisely the problemo I had laid out to you in my 10/24/2006 email… I would like a dateset for the pick up of the DSL equipment… I would like a revisedbilling amount…

3. AND FINALLY RESORTING TO:

Ah me! Here we are day three, and not a word… either written or verbal…. Is anyone out there… Does anyone hear me… (not taken from Pink Floyd, The Wall)… Am I john the Baptist merely a voice in the wilderness… What’s up with you people…. It could be the second coming, and no one would give a hoot… The only time I hear from anyone over there is at bill time, or adding a product to my service which is non-functioning… The real irony is that each time a write to you, a new tracking number is assigned… It’s a good thing I have a sense of humour (European spelling, not American)… Aside from a new tracking #, I wonder if I’ll get an answer… Isn’t it ironic (Atlantis Morresette will forgive me) that the phone company is in the biz of communication, yet here we are not communicating… Hope to hear from you soon!