Every Wednesday I take my 14 year-old-son, Justin, to his weekly Guitar Lessons. He’s been going for approximately nine months now, and he’s becoming quite good, if I do say so myself. The lessons are a half hour long, which doesn’t provide enough time to leave the premises. Therefore, I usually sit in the ‘Waiting Area’ with the ‘Other Parents’ playing the game ‘Bejeweled Blitz’ on my iPhone.
The ‘Other Parents’ usually come alone, but sometimes they bring their ‘Other Kids’ to class while a sibling attends lessons. And 9 times out of 10 the ‘Other Kids’ are pretty well behaved.
Except for this one time….
When a woman decided to bring in ‘Rosemary’s Baby’.
And all hell broke loose.
Disclaimer: I am not a perfect parent, by any stretch of the imagination. I have made a million mistakes. In fact, I’m probably making another one right now. Normally, I do not judge other people and/or their lack of parental skills. And I realize that ALL children have meltdowns, all the time, for various different reasons. I fully understand and I completely sympathize. However, I can certainly tell the difference between a tired, cranky, hungry child, and the ‘Devil’ himself.
I’m probably treading on thin ice here. But I’ve decided to throw caution to the wind and publicly announce that sometimes kids aren’t so cute. In fact, sometimes, they can drive a person bat.shit.crazy.stone.cold.fuck.nuts.
And here’s the perfect example.
The mother of three walked into the waiting area looking clearly exhausted. Her daughter, the eldest, went into her ‘Piano Lessons’ while the two boys, were supposed to sit on the sofa with their mother. One child, the youngest, obeyed his mother without so much as an argument. The other child? Not. So. Much.
I swear on all things holy, I’ve never seen anything like this in my whole life. The kid could not sit still. It seemed as if he had a severe case of ADHD and as if he was overdosing on speed. But, if that wasn’t bad enough, it was obvious the mother had absolutely no control over her own child.
When she tried to reprimand him for behaving badly, he laughed AT HER. And by behaving badly I mean the kid was running back and forth jumping on chairs. He was literally bouncing off the walls. He was yelling and screaming, and spinning, much like the cartoon character the ‘Tasmanian’ devil.
Then, she tried bribing him with gifts in order to get him to calm down. But he just mocked her. Actually, he attempted to impersonate her voice and mimicked her request – in such a tone, that I started to cringe. I was nearly ready to get up and walk out of the room. Much like the other parents I was squirming uncomfortably in my seat. I was sure things couldn’t possibly get much worse. Sadly, I was wrong.
At one point ‘The Devil’ started dumping out the contents of his mother’s purse all over the floor, like a three-year-old, throwing a tantrum. But this kid was no three-year-old. He is probably closer to the age of eleven. The mother begged him to stop, to no avail. Finally, she had enough. She began yelling at him in no uncertain terms to give back HER cell-phone. But that didn’t do a damn thing. He snidely replied, “Make me.” [insert fiery death stare] “Make me.”
Now, I don’t know about any of you – but if I EVER spoke to MY mother like that? She would have slapped me into the next week. “Make, Me?” Seriously, ya’ll. That nearly warrants wire hanger scars.
Alas, as much as I wanted to be angry with the mother, because her out-of-control-kid was seriously disrupting everyone and everything, I couldn’t. In fact, I felt badly for her. Truly.
Her other children appear to be normal, well adjusted, and they certainly knew how to act appropriately, especially in public. They listened and respected their mother’s wishes. They were polite and courteous.
And that really made me wonder….
Are some kids just born ‘bad’? Or is this a learned behavior?
Why else was this child so different from his other two siblings?
And then I was suddenly never SO thankful, to have the kind of son I have. Either that, or I should congratulate myself on a job well done as a parent.
There is a possibility that he has ADHD. I knew a young kid with that, and he was also like the devil incarnate when he had a bout of it. He was even known the throw chairs around in church. He was eventually given medication to control it. It’s such a shame, because he was a lovely kid aside from his really bad behaviour bouts. Nobody could calm him at those times. He was just plain obnoxious.
Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl… WHAT?
See, this is why it is best I stay indoors at all times cause I don’t think I could have kept my mouth shut. I would have happily smiled at his poor mother and then asked him if he was ready for me to take him out back and whoop his little annoying ass!!
I have always been torn about nature vs nurture. I am adopted and I see how my biological siblings all seem to be spawns of satan, and I can easily look at the shrew who birthed me and know that SHE is the exact reason they are ALL fucked up. This [insert ugly word that I can not type because afterall she did give me life] couldn’t even grow a weed right. It would die without the use of a peticide just being in her presence. Hands down, she is a horrific parent. But then my youngest sister is an excellent child who does good in school and is a mini angel. I wonder if she is that way because she sees how the rest of them are and is determined to not follow in their footsteps. I am certainly cheering her on though.
Sadly, I do have a friend though who is raising a child just like the one you described. Every time I am around them I want beat him senseless and shake her brain back into place for allowing him to get away with all he does. Now that he is older his antics aren’t as cute as she thought they were when he was saying “NO” at 5. So much of what he does (even with ADHD) is learned behaviour because the ADHD was used as a crutch/excuse instead of her trying to set boundaries.
And yes, YOU should congratulate yourself on a job very well done.
PS – you um, do not look like you should have a son who is 14. Did you have him when you were 12? Or have you been tapping into my secret Fountain of Youth?
I definitely think this kid needs meds.
Personally, I would really HATE to be that kids parent or teacher.
Monique,
Girl, I LOVE YOU. You freaking rock.
And, I think you raise a really good point here.
Maybe the mother has used the ADHD as a crutch/excuse.
And therefore, she never set the right boundaries?
I don’t know.
I do know that I would NEVER stand for that kind of behavior.
Sometimes when I see this family show up at lesson?
I just walk out, leave, and wait in my car.
I can’t handle that kid. AT ALL.
Awww thank you Miss Meleah… of course I ? you too cause you are like, the white Jersey version of me who smokes and magically does not age and has a 14 yr old son, which makes you beyond awesome!
I would have to go sit in my car too otherwise I would seriously have to call 911 myself before I ripped him a new one. Seriously though, when I go to see my “friend” these days I know I have to take other people with me because I do not think I can control my need to tell her about the path of destruction she is creating for her son. If something were to happen to her or her husband that child would have NO ONE or anything. NO social skills, nothing. Naturally, now I am running out of people who will go with me to be around those people because they can not take being around the evil child either. Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, once his parents told him to do something and he said no and slapped his dad in the face. O.o I had to get up and walk out.
Ahahahhahahaha! Ahahhahahaha!
“the white Jersey version of me who smokes and magically does not age and
has a 14 yr old son”
Ahahhahahahahah!
Yeah, I don’t blame you for bringing other people with you, when you visit
your friend. It’s tough when you see “bad parenting” and you CAN’T say
anything about it.
I can’t get over your friends kid slapping his own parent.
That’s fucken nuts.
My kid would be locked up for weeks if he ever did that.
WOW.
And I have wanted to leap across the room and hand out some real discipline
to that crazy kid in guitar lessons- but since I don’t wanna go to jail, I
just leave the building all together!
PS: I had my son when I was 21. Thank you for the best ego boost ever.
I really do admire your restraint. I would have had to walk out. I mean I got riled up just reading about it. I agree that much of the responsibility falls on the parents, and I would not tolerate behavior like that no matter what the reason. Just one more of many reasons I never had kids – it’s tough to be a parent.
I’ve definitely gotten up and left the building when these people show up.
And, I’m not sure it’s ENTIRELY the mother’s fault.
Her other two kids behave “normally”.
This kid, is just evil.
I believe children are born with different levels of ‘badness’ (to put it that way). The outcome as they grow up depends a lot on the parenting, there is no single blanket rule to apply for all… sadly with the case you saw I think things won’t improve any time soon, only get worse. On the same boat as you Meleah, whenever I see kids misbehaving to the extent of being offensive to their parents I recognize how lucky I have been with mine – still the brat has pulled a stunt or two I wouldn’t have *dared* with my own father, LOL… I would probably have a serious phobia for belts 😉
I also have to believe some kids ARE bad.
I know I sure was when I was growing up.
Honestly, I don’t know how my mother ‘survived’ me.
And she was/is a GREAT mom.
She did her best to discipline me but I just refused to listen.
I was definitely a bad kid.
And I didn’t TRULY start “acting right” until I was around 27.
I have a really hard time not saying something to the kid, I don’t care who the mom is, or if she is even in the room. Sometimes kids listen to people who are not their parent, and if they get embarrassed because somebody called them out, good. Maybe they will remember when they see me the next time that I am not having that. I worked at a daycare for 5 years, and in that time I saw my share of devil kids, it’s all about how you talk to them. One of them would only calm down if you blew in his face. That was a little strange.
One of these days, I might lose my cool.
I’m just hoping IF that ever happens, I will be able to handle it.
I don’t lose my cool, I usually just try to get the kid to talk to me. Even if he’s quiet for 2 minutes, that’s more than what the mom could get.
I still wonder that, whether we are born bad or it is a learned behavior. Either way, it does seem the bad behavior in many ways is rewarded in today’s society. The girls love the “bad boys”, everyone is watching “bad boy” Charlie Sheen, when was the last Lifetime movie based on a good boy?
Hmmmm…..
Maybe, I will try the calm approach.
But I think I’m just better off, walking out of the room.
That is REALLY true, Glen.
I noticed you said “bat.shit.crazy.stone.cold.fuck.nuts” but I always thought it was “stone.cold.crazy” as in this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bn9E-HpTi4E. I don’t remember the “stone.cold.fuck.nuts” song. 😉
As for the subject of your post, this is exactly why I don’t work at the library on Wednesdays during Story Time Hour. Hell to the no!
bat.shit.crazy. – is a term used a lot on the internet.
stone.cold.fuck.nuts – comes from the comedian Lewis Black.
I combined the two to REALLY illustrate my point about this kid.
Ah, Lewis Black, you get a pass then. 🙂
Probably we have to walk a mile in the mother’s shoes to know what the boy went through. However, I do agree with you that it was certainly too much.
“When a woman decided to bring in ‘Rosemary’s Baby’.”
Bwhahahahhaahahaha! Holy shit, I DIED laughing when I read that because “I” always refer to bad childern by saying the SAME THING! Either that, or The Bad Seed.
OMG, this child sounded like the spawn of SATAN! And 11 years old acting like that?
“Now, I don’t know about any of you – but if I EVER spoke to MY mother like that? She would have slapped me into the next week. “Make, Me?” Seriously, ya’ll.”
Agreed! If I ever acted that way, she would have had a bar of Ivory soap in my mouth so fast, it would have made my head spin!
I’m so glad I grew up in the day and age that I did. I mean, the worse thing I ever did was steal a used cigarette from my mothers car ash tray and puff it in the backyard – HA!
X
I’d say it a bit more complicated. The child was certainly over active. Perhaps he is not given much to do. Therefore he spends his energy the way he wants.
Secondly, the child is over exposed to television. The things he says and things he finds funny are 100% from cartoons. I know. I watch a lot of Cartoons.
Instead of letting the TV babysit him, the parent(s) should find alternate, healthy and educational ways to direct their child’s energy.
—
Just think about it… if your son didn’t keep himself busy with school & extra curricular activities AND do chores at home (which makes every parent envious) … he’d been a different kid.
I wasn’t there, so I won’t judge, but it does sound as if perhaps this kid has some serious issues. Maybe he’s just bad for the sake of being bad, but I’m seriously thinking it’s some underlying issue.
Gosh ! You were an Angel Ron !
“…but if I EVER spoke to MY mother like that? She would have slapped me into the next week.”
No shit! My mom could bruise our butts with a LOOK!! I get that some kids are more difficult than others, but I also wonder what this mother did to discipline this kid. Maybe she got lucky with the first two so she never had to discipline them so has no idea what to do with the third one?
Its amazing to me how some kids are so freaking cute it makes me want to pop out one immediantly and others make me want to rip out my own uterus. I could NEVER handle having a spazzy kid, as I would beat the living shit out of him on a daily basis. OR…maybe that’s exactly what that kid needed in the first place. Either way, congrats on being a good mom!
Those types of situations are so awkward. I always want to say something but never do because you never know if it will cause a big drama or not. That kid was out of control. I would have been squirming in my seat. The only good thing about a scene like that is it makes you appreciate how good a job you have done as a parent. Look how good our boys are. As parents we rock!!!!! Having said that though, I do feel sorry for that mother. She must have been so embarrassed.
Way back when I used to step in and speak up when I caught other people’s children acting that way. But people are funny about their kids. I could write a whole post about this one. Long story short, unless it’s criminal behavior or 911 phone call stuff, I get up and walk away to preserve my own sanity.
🙂
Thanks, Brooke.
If I had a child like that?
I would drop him off at the nearest Police Dept. and never look back.
We really are good mommies, Selma!
Yes. Exactly. As much as I’d LOVE to say something….
It’s probably not worth the backlash.
And the kid will probably STILL be out of control.
Not only aren’t all kids cute, but–and I am happy I’m anonymous on the interwebs when I say this–not all babies are beautiful. Guess what? Sometimes babies are downright UGLY! There, I’ve said it. 😉
I’ve known families where some of the kids are perfect angels and then one or two of the kids are the spawn of Satan. I do have to agree with MoniqueRenae when she says that some parents have the tendency to use ADHD or other problems as excuses for their kids behavior. This, I think is very possibly the reason why kids in the same family can be so different in their manners, etc–the ones with the problems are allowed to ‘get away’ with so much more than their siblings.
I, too, was raised in a MUCH different manner than I see some kids raised today. I once said ‘shut up’ to The Mother–I was 16-years-old at the time–and she slapped me so hard that my glasses went flying across the room. As mad and as embarrassed as I was by what she did, I KNEW I had no right talking to her like that. I could never bring myself to hate her for slapping me. Now, I CAN hate her for other things, but that is for another time. 😀
Thank you, CMK.
I have also seen UGLY babies. Ha.
Do you remember that Seinfeld episode when they went to the Hamptons for the
weekend to see the “breath-taking” baby? Talk about hideous!
MoRae made an EXCELLENT point.
Oh my mom handed out her fair share of slaps too.
And I earned every single one of them.
I don’t know anything about anything, but judging from the other kids’ behavior, I’m going to guess that the issue is not the mother but rather the child himself. He must have some sort of disorder and oh I feel so bad for the exhausted mother.
Once while I was waiting in a long line at Best Buy, a man showed up with a kid that was obviously high-strung at that point. I recognized him to be tired and cranky, so I said to the dad, “How about you wait in front of me? He seems really tired.” “No. He’s not tired. He’s autistic.” “Ok. Would you like to wait in front of me? I am not in any hurry.” The man seemed quite upset as if I did NOT get the fact that his child was not merely tired. He then proceeded to apologize every time the kid touched something, “Sorry! He’s autistic!” I looked at the kid and wondered how much of the things that he was doing, e.g. touching displays, taking stuff off of shelves, were something that my own boys would have done when they were tired and hungry.
I forgot what my point was in sharing this story here….
Mel, you definitly have way, way more patience than I.
I would have left or found some other place to be at for the time. I’ve seen a number of those episodes and I can feel your pain/frustration (although, I love the way you describe it: bat.shit.crazy.stone.cold.fuck.nuts). I did a plane trip from Buffalo to Houston last year where we had one very loud screamer the entire flight. I have zero love/tolerance for people who harm kids, but, honestly, I can see where some people go over the edge. I’m like you, I start to feel sorry for the parents of the demon child. Perhaps it is ADHD or some other problem, but you dare not intercede lest you get accused of child abuse or labeled as some bad, child-hating person. Not that we were any saints in our younger days, but when I was 6, I backtalked the neighbor ONCE when he asked where my mom was (She’s in the back, STUPID) and my momma did slap me into next week.
I had one of those kids in my classroom last year. Nothing like having a four year old who calls you a fucker and then laughs maniacally. At least I got to go home without him at the end of the day. Although, in his case it only took one visit with the parents to understand where it came from. My heart aches for the family you saw… each and every one of them must be in a lot of pain.
It definitely sounds like something is going on with that child (especially if he is nearly 11). I know parents who don’t discipline their children at all, but all of them usually have behavioral issues, not just one. It sounds like the mother was probably completely embarrassed by her son’s behavior.
I’m sure it must be you and your parental skills. Usually single mothers, in my opinion, know how to handle and raise kids better. My mom raised me as a single mother, so I kinda know from experience. I came out quite good, *ahem* 😛
I’ve seen the likes of those kids. My BFF’s friend has 3 kids. So multiply that little kid you saw by 3. With the parents, (both of them) screaming obscenities to them.
Very sad display honestly.
Yep. My cousin works with autistic children, which is why I probably felt
BAD for the mother, instead of being furious, like the other parents.
Thanks Agg,
I have had to get up and leave the building.
I can’t say anything. It’s just not my place.
Hopefully I can switch lesson times?
And then I won’t have to deal with these people anymore!
I don’t know.
I do know that kid needs real help.
And probably some medication.
Let’s hope the mom is on top of that.
It’s so weird because her other two kids are totally regular.
YIKES! That sounds like a real nightmare.
And thank you – Single Mom’s rock!
I feel bad for the mom. I really do.
Oh Ron, this kid really IS the devil himself!
I agree with some of that. Yes, it’s the parents responsibility to keep their children entertained, and to make sure the use up their energy properly. However, there is CLEARLY something wrong with this 11 year old.
Oh, I definitely think he has a chemical imbalance. I just hope the parents are doing something about it.
EXACTLY!
ABSOLUTELY its learned behavior…
that is without a doubt a kid who one time pushed things alittle far, and didnt get reprimanded for it, so the next time he went alittle further. do that for a few years and thats what you get.
p.s. after reading the title to this post, im just glad that this story didnt end up the same way as the Band Camp story did in American Pie.
i’d think that putting a guitar there would be slightly more painful than a flute….just a guess.