So you know when you’ve started a new journey during this crazy quarantine, and you FINALLY get into a rhythm and routine, and everything is going great, and your kicking ass in school…and everything is coming up roses.
But then one day … suddenly and without warning, Zoom decides to update it’s program – which would be fine, except that your computer is SOFA KING old you can’t even “update your browser” because you’ve never even “updated your operating system” since 2007.
And now you can’t log into your virtual classroom on your computer anymore, so you start sweating and panicking because you have a test to take that night. Then you quickly download Zoom onto your cellphone – which also would have been fine, except that you haven’t updated your cellphone either since 2009, and the screen is the literally the same size as a cigarette pack, and you can’t see shit, let alone a Power Point Presentation.
Already on the verge of hysterics, that’s when you realize you can’t even take the test on your cellphone, because the teacher needs to SEE YOU taking the test, to make sure no one is cheating, but you ALSO use your cellphone for the “Course Key” app to take your tests, because once again, your computer is SOFA KING old you can’t even “update your browser” because you’ve never even “updated your operating system” since 2007 – you’re unable to download that app onto your computer. And you can’t run both apps: Zoom and Course Key on your cellphone AT THE SAME TIME.
Painfully, you come to the conclusion that you can only use your cigarette pack sized cellphone to take your tests. And then you almost start to cry. Luckily, your teacher takes mercy on you and holds up the class for an additional 15 minutes – until you can find some other device to use to log into Zoom.
That’s when you turn into the Tasmanian Devil, and start rummaging through drawers and unpacked boxes, whipping items all over your entire household, until magically finding a Samsung Tablet from 2015, which HOPEFULLY, still works. Except that it hasn’t been plugged in or charged since 2015. And the only power source you can find is literally 3 centimeters long, so now you desperately need to find an extension cord in order to turn on this god-forsaken device. So you rip through some more drawers, and now all of your kitchen utensils, dish rags, and all things inside your junk drawers are on your kitchen floor. And then your OCD goes into hyper-drive, because it looks like your house has been hit by a tornado, but you don’t have time to clean it up – BECAUSE YOU HAVE A TEST IN 15 MINUTES and you still can’t log into Zoom!!
Oh, AND THEN? Then, you’ll also need to figure out HOW TO USE THE DAMN TABLET, and you freak out some more, because you’ve never used any type of electronic device unless it’s an Apple Product.
And the air-conditioning in your shitty-garage apartment isn’t working very well, and you have to shut off the window units because they’re SO LOUD you can’t hear what your teacher/classmates are saying ON A GOOD DAY. Which makes you start sweating even more.
And right before you practically pass out from sheer exhaustion, sheer anxiety, and waiting impatiently for the tablet to come to life – you hear all sorts of dings and chimes and buzzes. But it’s a touch screen and your fingers are slimy AF from sweating, and wiping tears off your cheeks, so you can’t really scroll to the App Store on said Samsung device. Instead, you start screaming at it, “voice to text style” until Zoom appears on the screen and you’re able to download it.
Then, immediately, in your other hand, you have to grab your cellphone again, and scroll to your ‘Notes’ to look up your UserId and Password, because you have way too many different UserId’s and Passwords, for way too many internet sites, apps, emails, and programs – and who the hell can remember ANY of those?
After an intense twenty minutes, filled extreme anxiety, you’re finally able to join your virtual classroom.
But now…you have to use “Google Classrooms” on your computer, “Course Key” on your cellphone, and “Zoom” on your tablet.
AND HOLY MOTHER MARY & JOSEPH… YOU NEED 3 FUCKING DEVICES (IN ALL DIFFERENT SIZES) JUST TO ATTEND ONLINE CLASSES!! AND YOU REALLY WISH YOU COULD SIMPLY WALK INTO A CLASSROOM, LIKE NORMAL. BECAUSE THIS SUDDENLY BECAME EXTREMELY ANNOYING AND YOUR SUPER FRUSTRATED. But you need to calm the fuck down, because you’re already late, and held up your classmates long enough, and it’s time to take that test!!
Ever happen to you?
No?
Me either.
Anyway … Speaking of tests …
Here are my latest scores:
Chapter 19: Vital Signs – it was a huge chapter so we had two tests on two different days = 29/30 & 29/30
Chapter 20: Physical Examination = 29/30
Chapter 21: Eye & Ear Assessments & Procedures = 23/25
Chapter 22: Physical Agents; Tissue Health = we didn’t have a test on this chapter it was just included in the Midterm/Final Exam.
Chapter 23: OBGYN = 40/40 (FINALLY 100%)
Chapter 24: Pediatric Exam = we didn’t have a test on this chapter either it was also included in the Midterm/Final Exam.
And on my Midterm/Final Exam for “Patient Care Technician”??
96/100!
BOOYAH!!
And that’s all for now, folks!
Stay Tuned.
Love,
M
