Thankfully, things over here have been going very well!
Except for that one day – when I was searching all over my house looking for my cellphone WHILE I WAS ON FACETIME ON MY CELLPHONE!
Anywhoooooo …
I’ve been seeing my parents every week, twice a week, and I always leave their house with an arm full of groceries, paper products, and a few dollars in my pocket. Our relationship is better than ever and I could not be happier.
Thanks, Mom & Dad!
Mother’s Day 2020, oddly enough, was one of THE BEST Mother’s Day I’ve had in YEARS – with the exception of the Mother’s Day when my son, Justin, graduated Rutgers. It was also my son’s 24th birthday. How did that happen? I don’t fucking know.
We had a family ZOOM video conference with: my mom & dad, Justin & his girlfriend, Claudia, my Uncle Rick & his husband, Jeff. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed, for TWO HOURS. And it was AWESOME. We got to sing OUR “family version of the birthday song” to Justin. And we watched Justin – who’s becoming a sommelier – slice off the top of a champagne bottle off with the sword/saber that my mother bought for his present. And then I had a fabulous dinner with my parents at their house.
On The School Front…
Classes are KICKING MY ASS!
Kicking. My. Ass.
After we finished the ‘Medical Terms’ book – I took the Final Exam, chapters 1-5, and I scored 98/100! Which was NOT fucking easy! YAY ME!
Since then – we’ve been plowing through so many chapters, and so many different topics, and so many different body parts, at lightening speed.
It is a SHIT-TON of information, which can be quite difficult at times. The second we’re done with one system, we take a test, and then we IMMEDIATELY move onto the next system/topic/chapter.
Here is a list of my test scores and the systems I’ve learned so far…
* Chapter 5: Anatomy & Physiology (Human anatomy = The scientific study of the shape and structure of the human body and the relationship of its parts. Physiology = The scientific study of the functions of the human body and its parts.)
* Chapter 6: Integumentary System (Made up of skin, glands, hair, & nails. The subcutaneous layer is below the skin – because the prefix sub means “below” – is a sheet of areolar connective tissue and adipose tissue (a.k.a. fat) beneath the dermis of the skin; a.ka. hypodermis or superficial fascia. But, um, like WHY does everything have to have multiple different “a.k.a” words for the same thing? VERY ANNOYING. Pick a LANE medical community. Pick ONE friggen word for ONE friggen part and stick with it!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY!!)
I took a combined test for Chpts 5 & 6 = 38/40 (Not too shabby!)
* Chapter 7: Skeletal System = 20/20 = 100% (The knee bone (patella) connected to the thighbone (femur). The thighbones (femur) connected to the hipbone (os coxae). The hipbones (os coxae) connected to the backbone (vertebral column). The back bones (vertebral column) connected to the shoulder bone (scapula) ect..ect..ect..) Yet another example of too many words for the same body parts!)
* Chapter 9: Nervous System = 17/20 (And I got that shitty score because I was sick AF with bronchitis when I took that test. And I am STILL REALLY UPSET over getting a B+! And just in case you were wondering … your cerebrum is the largest part of your brain and your cerebellum is the 2nd largest part of your brain. And there is a whole lot of grey matter and white matter all up in there.)
* Chapter 10: Sensory System = 19/20 (Yay! I’m back to getting A’s! Also? The next time you cry, just know your ‘lacrimal apparatus’ is working very hard to make tears. And ‘cerumen’ is just a really fancy word for earwax.)
* Chapter 11: Endocrine System = 20/20 = 100% (The endocrine system is my bitch! Your endocrine glands secrete its product directly into the blood while the exocrine glands secrete its product onto a surface or another cavity through various ducts. And your adrenal glands are like SUPER important. And they’re located above your kidneys.)
* Chapter 13: Respiratory System = 18/19 (The section on the lungs; specifically the function of ‘cilia’ – scared the crap out of me and forced me to cut down on smoking – a little – for like two days. The lungs are located in your thoracic cavity and are surrounded by the double layer membrane known as the plura. Also? ‘Ventilation’ is just a fancy a word for breathing – BECAUSE CLEARLY THE MEDICAL WORLD CAN’T JUST USE ONE FUCKING WORD, Y’ALL!!)
* Chapter 14: Digestive System = 33/33 = 100% (Holler at this 30-foot-super-complicated-system and 35-page chapter! Thanks to Crohn’s disease I had a teeny-tiny ‘head-start’ on SOME of this information, but I had NO IDEA your medulla oblongata (long stem-like structure which makes up part of the brainstem) had anything to do with digestion! Also? The word “MASTICATING” means “to chew” and that term will make me laugh for the rest of my life!)
* Chapter 15: Urinary System = 14/15 (Um, yeah. The kidneys are out of control, like a series of connected crazy straws. The word “Micturition” means to urinate and so does “voiding.” Because why have ONE WORD that means peeing when we can have 15!! Also? Rugae are folds in your bladder that allow it to expand & the detrusor (smooth muscle) contracts to expel urine. You’re welcome.)
* Chapter 16: Reproductive System = 24/25 (I have NEVER wanted to know THIS MUCH about sperm, or how it’s made, or what’s going on “down there” inside of a lady – in my fucking life! And HOLY tricky. Because mitosis and meiosis are two TOTALLY different cell divisions – and listening to my teacher online in zoom classes with a heavy-duty-thick-Indian-accent say those words sounds the EXACT same …so first I have to de-code what she’s saying and then I have to figure out what cell division is actually happening.)
I’m not gunna lie; I get SOFA KING mad whenever I get that ONE question wrong! It’s like I’d almost rather get 2 wrong! And then I sulk for like an hour. And then I have to get the fuck over it and move on the fuck on because ain’t nobody got time to pout when there is so much to learn!
Also?
When class ends, my cerebrum is so over-stimulated I can’t sleep for a few hours. Mostly, because I lay in bed thinking about WHY I can’t sleep!
EXAMPLE?
You know when you feel “overtired” & you’ve been “over-studying” & you pass the point of being tired that you literally can’t fall asleep? Thanks a lot hypothalamus (Located at the base of your brain; above the pituitary gland— inside the temporal lobe.) The sleep-wake cycle is regulated by two opposing processes; the circadian rhythm and the homeostatic drive for sleep.
- The nervous and endocrine systems control homeostasis in the body …. to maintain a stable internal environment despite changes in external conditions …. through feedback; negative & positive mechanisms — involving various organs and organ systems.
- The circadian rhythm is set by the “suprachiasmatic nucleus” of the hypothalamus, which regulates the sleep-wake cycle.
And then, one day, I laughed so hard I almost choked. But instead of dying, I thought about this…
I swallowed down the “wrong pipe.” And seltzer is coming out of my nose! And by “wrong pipe” I mean … my uvula and my epiglottis have failed!
Uvula = (hanging in back of your throat – AKA pharynx — in the hard palete) to keep food & water out of your nasopharynx (nasal cavity).
Epiglottis = (behind the tongue & on-top of larynx — in your soft palete) prevents food from entering the windpipe (trachea) and lungs. It’s open during breathing, allowing air into the larynx (voice box).
So, yeah.
That’s how it’s going over here.
One last thing …
I have a huge – FUCKING HUGE – ‘Final Exam’ coming up on Tuesday 05/19/2020. And I am nervous as all hell, because it’s on ALL OF THE CHAPTERS I LISTED ABOVE – IN ONE TEST.
Soooooo ….
If I am “off-the-grid” for the next few days, NO NEED TO WORRY. I am just drowning in 8 billion flashcards and studying my FACE OFF! Limited phone & social media time while I’m preparing for this exam. Because quite frankly, I didn’t even know what chapter 5 WAS until I started writing this blog post!
Wish me luck, mofo’s!!
That’s all for now.
Stay Tuned.
Love,
M
