I may or may not have mentioned before how much I love to people watch. It’s one of those things I find myself doing often. Sometimes I just make observations. And other times, I like to invent stories about the people I’ve been studying.
Though lately I fear I’ve become quite obsessed with two different neighbors and not in a good way. (As if there is a ‘good way’ for one to become obsessed with watching their neighbors.)
Case. In. Point.
The First Neighbor:
The First Neighbor, I would like to discuss lives two houses down on my block. Apparently, I’ve spent quite some time observing him. He is an older man and he lives alone. He keeps weird hours and I’ve never seen him with a woman, or a man, or any visitors whatsoever including family members for that matter.
I don’t find it all that strange when he comes home at three o’clock in the morning with the song, “I’m a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World” blasting on his radio. And I don’t find it all that strange when he seemingly wears the ‘Same Clothes’ every single day.
So what has my utmost attention? Well, since I have been watching this man from my bedroom window over the last year and a half, I’ve noticed that I have never seen this man put out a single trashcan. Ever.
In our complex every Tuesday & Thursday is ‘Garbage Day’. And every Wednesday & Friday is ‘Recycling Day’. Every other household on my block puts out at least ONE trashcan on any of those given days.
Except for this guy.
So. WHERE IS ALL OF HIS GARBAGE? And. What is he doing with his trash?
It’s not like we live in an area or on a street where he can burn his rubbish. He drives a Brand-New Shiny-Black Mercedes so it’s hard to imagine him loading his vehicle and transporting his waste elsewhere. Moreover why would anyone need or want to do that?
Seriously people. I need to know what this guy does with his garbage. Do ya’ll have any ideas?
The Second Neighbor:
The Second Neighbor I would like to discuss isn’t even really a neighbor. In fact, it’s a “Couple” that doesn’t even live within my complex. And I am using the term “Couple” loosely, because quite frankly, I don’t know if they really ARE a “Couple”. I suppose that would have to depend on YOUR definition of the term “Couple”.
I have not only observed these two people, but I’ve let my imagination run wild, subsequently inventing several stories about them. And here’s why…
For the last TWELVE CONSECUTIVE YEARS, once a week, every week, at the same exact time, WITHOUT FAIL, a woman in a white car pulls into the parking lot and moments later a man driving a white SUV pulls into the parking lot next to her.
He gets out of his car and he walks over to her car. He opens her car door, helps her out, and then he passionately kisses her. They walk together to his car, they get in, and they drive away together.
THREE HOURS LATER, they return together in his car. He gets out and he walks around his car. He opens her door, helps her out and kisses her passionately. Then, he opens her car door, she gets back into her own car, and they drive away in separate directions.
I have constantly wondered….
Is she married and having an affair with him? Is he married and having an affair with her? Are they BOTH married and having an affair with each other? And if so, where do they tell their spouses they are going? If they are not having an affair, are they married to each other and playing a game of ‘Cat and Mouse’ to keep things spicy? Are they Secret Agents? Where do they go for those Three Hours? Why do they always meet in the Same Place? And how much longer can this go on?
It’s gotten to the point where I am almost ready to confront them interrogation style. But instead, I think I this time next year, I might just give them a ‘Happy 13th Anniversary Card’? Because any two people who have managed to maintain meeting up with each other At The Same Bat-Time, In The Same Bat-Place, for this many years in a row deserve some kind of acknowledgement.
What do YOU think they are up to?
Meleah the stalker – I like your imagination. Sometimes the stories we make up are way better than reality. Just remember, while you are watching them, they may be watching you! I imagine someone out there is blogging something about that crazy lady who leaves the house in the same outfit every day and walks around the block six/seven times in a row.
I like your stories on both neighbors – #1 guy is obviously a secret agent (think Jason Bourne). Living in the apartment is his cover while he is waiting for his next mission to take out a terroist cell or take down some rogue agent. In the meantime, he is working some mundane job at the embassy or Walmart or Buy More until the call comes in. As for the garbage, any good agent will not leave a paper trail for others to follow – he is shreding and disposing of his garbage in some clandesine manner so the enemy agents cannot track him. Don't cross him or make eye contact or he may consider you a threat.
#2 couple – I like your baseline story on the couple but I wanted to add more back story. The are old high school sweethearts. The went off to college, graduated and got high paying careers. They both wound up getting married to high level political figures but are still secretly love with each other. Once a week, they sneak off to some shady hotel down of the turnpike for some wild money lovin'. They've been doing this for years, but I imagine that her husband really knows and has plans for them and one day, they'll both wind up missing (think Sopranos).
Then again, maybe I watch too much tv….
Frankly speaking I have no idea what the couple is up to. It does seem like they are having an affair but we can't be too quick to pass judgment. But it is certainly interesting to watch people; I love to do that too. Now I'm thinking what the man is doing to his trash. Maybe he didn't produce any to start with. 🙂
I love to people-watch, too.
Mainly with the use of a hidden camera, but whatever.
#1 = hoarder is my guess. The apartment below may one day have on of those television style ceiling collapses under the weight of all the trash. You should ask them if there is any “funny smell” 😉
#2 – oh, affair, definitely, I'd guess. but for TWELVE YEARS? That takes more comittment than the marriage, what with all the sneaking around. So maybe it is just a couple wanting to keep things spiced up after all…
OMG Agg!
Im sure my neighbors ARE watching me, and they probably think I'm nuts. And that's because I am! I really like your idea about Neighbor #1. But I am REALLY LOVING your back-story the shady mysterious couple otherwise known as Neighbor #2! You are AWESOME!
🙂
BK:
I don't think I am being judgemental, more curious than anything else! As for the garbage guy – how is it even POSSIBLE for one person NOT to generate ANY trash in over a YEAR?
xoxo
Ahahahahahahaha
Leslie:
I thought he was a hoarder too. But I can see CLEARLY into his house and he
doesn't even have furniture!
As for the second couple 12 years is a LONG ASS TIME for one affair! And
that's why I want to get them an anniversary preset!
Love you woman!
Maybe neighbor number one takes his trash to the dump. Since we don't have public garbage, I do have neighbors that do that. I do like Agg's story but, knowing my neighbors, I just can't believe that someone would have neighbors that were that interesting. In regard to the second couple, I have no idea what they are doing. I just can't imagine making it to the same place at the same time every week for 12 years. Don't they take vacations?
Oh, yeah, me too….I LOVE to people watch! And living in a city, I watch all sorts of people walking down the streets and “wonder.” It's funny, but I truly think Libra's are ulta-sensitive to other people's energy, so we naturally just “pick up” on things.
#1 neighbor – I can't stop laughing at “he comes home at three o’clock in the morning with the song, “I’m a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World” blasting on his radio.” OMG, I've never heard of that song before!! That is strange about him never putting his trash outside to be collected!?! Do you think maybe he has another house somehere else and he only uses “this” house as just a “hangout?”
#2 neighbor – I definitely think they're having an affair of some sort. But, OMG….you would think that after 13 years they would get divorced from their spouses and get married.
xoxox
Neighbor one is a hoarder. Come on now, it's obvious! Either that or he's too cheap to pay for trash pick up…
Neighbor two, definitely an affair.
Meleah: Have you watched the movie – “Same Time, Next Year (1978)” ? A married man and a married woman meet at a lodge one time and they hit it off.
Then they agree to meet again on the same weekend the following year ! And they do so the the next few decades or it seems.
One of my faves.
I LOVE to people-watch! That's why I had so much fun in Vegas and at the Renaissance fair–two absolutely fantastic places to see very unusual people.
I don't have a clue as to what #1 is doing, but we should introduce him to my 'sheep' lady–they just might hit it off. 😉
At least the couple HAS someplace to conduct their (allegedly) illicit affair. No one here could pull something like that off for 12 years, as EVERYONE knows EVERYONE else's business for hundreds of miles around. 😀
In 12 years they have never missed a single meeting!
I thought about him bringing trash to the dump – but the man has never
once loaded anything into his car !
People watching rules!!
The gargabe guy is a complete mystery to me! I've seen the inside of
his practially vacant house – no trash!
And the mysterious couple is quite impressive for lasting 12 years!!
I don't know Nik! The trash pick up fees are included in the quaterly
dues we have to pay to live in this complex!
No! But now I totally want to rent it!
Seriously I am very impressed they've kept it going on for this long!
I have no idea what he does with his garbage, unless he's got an industrial sized garbage disposal in his house. Or he's way into the green movement and reuses everything.
The second couple is more than likely having an affair. 12 years is a long time, that's for sure. But maybe they're both single, and their families don't approve of the other person, so they have to meet up in secrecy every week. That's the romantic way of looking at it I guess.
“I need to know what this guy does with his garbage.”
He may not generate any.
I used to work with a guy like that. He was single, and ate out at every meal, the same with his coffee. I opened his refrigerator once, and the only thing in it was a six-pack and a bottle of ketchup.
Yes! I like that idea MUCH better. I would RATHER imagine them having a True Romance like that instead of imagining them being shady and deceitful!
I do believe this man eats out almost every meal; but how can a person NOT generate ANY garbage? I mean what if he has to blow his nose? Where does he put the used tissue?
You 'should' check it out ! It's starring Alan Alda – my favourite guy from M*A*S*H who played Hawkeye.
The movie only stars two actors. The rest were extras. Very clever way of telling a stories of two people's lives, how they age and how they change over the years – all in one room.
Interesting! I've got to start paying more attention to the neighbors!
As far as neighbor number 1, I'd hate to see the inside of his place. One of my neighbors died recently. Nice guy. He lived just a few doors away for the past, probably 20 years. After he passed away, his family went in to clean up the house. What they discovered, and what we, his neighbors later realized, was that the man never utilized a trash hauling service. And guess where all of his trash was! Yep. You guessed it. In his house. We had a garbage house right here in the neighborhood and never even knew it.
Your 2nd story? Definitely an affair! A sordid, passionate affair!
The first guy is easy, fits all the attributes of a vampire. No garbage, returning at 3am after drinking the blood af another Barbie look-alike. Ever seen a vampire in anything but a vampire outfit, Stephanie's characters excluded because they are fictional?
The couple, well, one of them is me, so go watch someone else, sticky beak! 🙂
Flushes it down the toilet.
I love Alan Alda!
OH MY GOD!! EW!!
ahahahahahah
Ah ha!
Sounds like most Indian romances 😉
i remember non garbage man. um maybe he's very green and all his stuff is organic and it poofs into thin air. go ask him or leave some garbage outside of his door and see what he does with it.
the other couple? well, they're doing it and 3 hours too. mmmmph, that's nice. considering they are using a full 2hrs 45m and 59 seconds.
you're welcome.
FOLLOW THEM!!!
That Barbie-guy sounds scary. I'm guessing his basement is packed with trash.
And the couple has to be having an affair, but I'm with geechee-girl, a twelve-year affair? That's crazy!
This was a fun post to read and made me think of the Alfred Hitchcock movie, Rear Window. I have to put that in my Netflix queue now!
I know this woman who sits at her bedroom window every day, spying on her neighbours, and has been doing this for at least twelve years! :))
I think #1 is a hoarder. If he wears the same clothes every day he must be a hoarder that can't find his clothes, or washing machine in the mess of rubbish.
#2 is a true love romance. If it's lasted twelve years, it has to be real love. Their circumstances don't allow them to be together so they meet up each week in secret. Their respective partners probably know it's going on, but choose to accept it because of the same set of circumstances. When the kids are all grown up, they may get together finally.
That's my opinion 🙂
I admire your restraint. Just go up to the guy's door, knock, and say “Hi! I'm your neighbor! Could I stick some of my lawn trimmings in your recycle container! I've run out of room.” Mystery solved! He'll tell you “Oh, high pretty neighbor lady. I don't “do” garbage.” I've met really interesting people taking this approach.
The no trash can guy, we had one of those and the sad truth, he had all the trash in his house and eventually neighbors called and things got nasty, the house got condemned and cleaned out it was gross. The neighborhood was nice. He drove a nice car. He worked everyday. Sad! One neighbor snuck us over to look through the back door window and it was the most disgusting thing I had ever seen. He lived 3 doors down from us.
“The couple”: I triple dog dare you to hand them a card!!!!!
Oh, I love love and LOVE to people watch and create stories too. It is so nice to know I am not alone out there!
P.S. I won't say love, love, love because of Teresa on New Jersey, oh, she drives me INSANE (LOL)
okay mel, i know man #1 and if you, or someone doesn't get an answer soon to the garbage question i am going to go over there myself and just ask. this has really bothered me ever since you told me. i also have to admit i questioned if this was true or not. not that you were lying, but i thought maybe you had just been sleeping when his garbage can was both put out, AND taken in. if your parents hadn't confirmed his behavior i don't know if i would've believed you without proof.
and how come i never heard of couple #2!!! this would bother me almost as much, but i gotta go with married and affair, either both of them, or 1 of them is married.
after much thought, man #1 bothers me much more! where the fuck is his garbage???!!!
🙂
I love you Valerie!
MAYBE I WILL!!!
Thanks Marty!
HEY! That lady is ME!
Ahahahahahahahahahaha
And I love the True Love concept for the mystery couple!
I really MIGHT do that. I NEED to know!
Wow. That makes me SAD for your neighbor.
And I am NOT even kidding about getting The Couple a card!
And AHAHAHHAHAH @ your Teresa reference!!
SEE!!! That's what I am saying. No Garbage Guy is making me CRAZY.
And I am glad to have a WITNESS that this is a TRUE story.
Also, you DO know about the Mystery Couple.
They meet in front of NORAMS house every Monday.
She's definitely told you about them. Yes?
Meleah, do not give that couple a card. This comes under the heading of people being a little “too” inquisitive! And it can get you knocked off.
Oh alright!
Meleah, you leave that danged couple alone! And as far as the Mercedes garbage guy, just go be friendly. You are too pretty to have him turn you away. (But maybe for security, take a big dude with you!)
Okay. My BFF Amy The Bartender really wants to know too.
And, since she's WAY more brave then I will ever be…
I am sure she will be the one to ask!