Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

Meme: A-Z

Posted on October 29, 2007 by Meleah

This is a meme that list facts about myself from letter A to letter Z.

I was tagged in by Anti-Barbie who has disclosed the following rules:

Each player starts with some random facts/habits about himself/herself. As you are tagged you need to post the rules and your responses on your own blog. At the end of your post, you need to choose some people to tag, list their names and, of course, leave them a comment, telling they have been tagged and they need to read your blog for more information.

A: Asshat. One of my favorite words. & Alec Bladwin (my imaginary husband)

B: Brothers. I have two brothers, Adam and Lee.

C: Community. I love my blogger community. I have kick ass peeps.

D:Dood. Thats how I like to spell ‘Dude’.

E: Eccentric. Yes. I am.

F: Friends & Family. I am extremely lucky to have such a group of wonderful friends, and family that support& believe in me.

G: Gorilla Sushi & Greg’s Brain. Two blogs I read every day. (Both of which could do a much better job at this meme than me. Consider yourselves ‘tagged’.)

H: Halloween. I am going as my female Idol / Hero – Tina Fey/ Liz Lemon.

I: Irritable Bowels. You can see how I deal with that here. Need I say more?

J: Justin. (My Son). & Jackson. (My Nephew – My Brother Lee & Maya’s son)

K: Keys. I have keys to houses and cars I no longer own. I used to save all of the Hotel Room keys from places I have stayed.

L: Lethargic. I am always tired between the hours of 830am-430pm

M: Momma Mia Mea Culpa (How & Why I named this blog can be found here) & Mason. (My Nephew – My Brother Adam & Traci’s son)

N: New Jersey Turnpike. I have to drive on that bitch twice a day everyday and this is how I feel about that.

O: Overtime. I don’t get paid for working overtime, so I never stay late and I never come in early.

P: Patience. I have zero patience for stupid people and bad drivers. & Packing. I am in the process of packing up my house.

Q: Questions. I ask a lot of questions. But I don’t always listen to the answers.

R: Raspy Voice. I can thank years of smoking for my raspiness.

S: Smoker. I am a smoker. I have always been a smoker. I have no desire to be a non-Smoker. Not Gunna Happen. & Smoke Rings and Coffee Stains is a blog written by my best friend Leslie of 20 something years. I love her.

T: Television. I watch way too much TV. 30Rock, Scrubs & House are the 3 shows I will never miss watching. & “Toad-ily”. (Toad-ily, is part of my own language that I have with my inner circle of friends. Toad-ily, is my version of ‘Totally’ … but when I am lazy it becomes shortened to Toads. However when something is definite, as in “Hey, are you coming to that party with me on Friday night?” My answer would be Toads & Frogs.)

U: Underpaid. Yep.

V: Vendetta. There is only one person on this entire planet for which I hold a true Vendetta.

W: Work. I am not a FAN.

X: X-Ray. I have had at least seven million X-rays over the last year.

Y: You. Are probably really bored by this list of not funny things.

Z: Zaibryn. My Niece (My Brother Lee & Maya’s daughter)

Okay. Whew. That was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be!

Posted in Family, Friends, Links, Memes, Other Bloggers | 30 Comments

Parent Teacher Conference.

Posted on October 25, 2007 by Meleah

Yep. I have the best kid. Ever. Well, not exactly.

I survived the dreaded parent- teacher conference. I always get nervous for these meetings. Not that I am worried about what they might have to say about my son, but the whole idea of being back inside of a school, walking down the narrow hallways, and subjected to those tiny chairs, is cause enough for the unease in my gut.

Besides the fact that I have to get there an hour early, just so I can secure a parking space, there seems to be a lot of new gossipy mothers who I don’t get along with, nor do I enjoy spending time with them. I am positive the feeling is mutual. I could ramble on about the Stepford Moms and all their do-good-for-the-school-glory their lives seem to be built upon, but I digress.

Instead, I will talk about another way I managed to embarrass myself this week.

While the teacher was talking to me about my son being disrespectful and or disruptive with his snarky comments, I received a text message. And of course I had forgotten to shut my cell phone off. Nothing says rude like the sound of nuclear loud and obnoxious alarm bells that is my ring tone.

I tried to ignore the noise. I tried my best to be discreet in my efforts to retrieve the cell phone. I tried to maneuver in that small chair, unnoticed, in order to shut it off. I did not want to appear as if I cared I had received a text message by picking up my phone. I was interested in the meeting. But, you see, my cell phone has this ‘feature’ for lack of a better word, which keeps sounding off the nuclear loud and obnoxious alarm bells that is my ring tone, until you OPEN the phone and acknowledge receipt of said text message.

Nice. Right?

As I squirmed around in the way too small for my body chair, it tipped over, leaving me flat on my ass. All the while my phone emitted sounds as if it were the end of the world.

Teacher: Not Amused. Me: Embarrassed.

(Side Note: the text message sent to me was from my high school best friend of 20 years, Leslie. Yep. She is still capable of getting me in trouble in school…even after all these years. Thanks!)

Anywhoo, my son is doing a great job this year. At least as far as his grades are concerned. He is one of those kids. You know that kind? The ones who don’t even have to try, or study hard and they just ace everything. Yeah, that’s my son. He is the complete opposite of me. So far he has all A’s and one B+. Barring any unforeseen tragedy, it looks like JCH will be making Honor Roll for the first marking period.

However, his ‘tude’ is not so great. It hasn’t gotten out of hand yet, but since he is getting more comfortable with the classroom, he has been more forthright than restrained when it comes to things, comments or ideas, that should be kept to himself.

It is not entirely my son’s fault that he doesn’t know when to draw the line. I mean, he lives with me. I have the kind of relationship with my son, where we do joke around with each other and we tend to take things way too far.

So, we had to have one of those talks about what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate ‘in school’ behavior. I think JCH heard what I had to say, but who the hell knows now that he is a ‘teenager’. I guess I will have to cross my fingers and hope for the best that some of what I said sunk into his skull.

PS… Um… Has any one else noticed that the teachers are getting younger and younger? Or am I just getting older?

Posted in Family, JCH quotes, Life | 38 Comments

Movie Making And A Seagull.

Posted on October 23, 2007 by Meleah

Making movies (well, home videos) in iMovie has to be one of my favorite features on my Mac. Yanno aside from all of the other ridiculously awesome features. I am no expert, nor do I consider myself skilled in this arena. I just love how I am able to preserve some of the most precious (or funny) moments that happen with my family and in my life.

I wasn’t able to construct a post, or complete the meme I was tagged with (by one of my new favorite females to hit the Momma Mia Mea Culpa Block) Anti-Barbie, because…I have been diligently working on constructing a Baby Mason video.

I promise ya’ll that once I am completely satisfied with the movie, I will post a link to the video, and I will return to my regularly scheduled posting.

In the mean time, I leave you with this: (a video I did NOT make)

———
A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop. The seagull waits until the shopkeeper isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos. Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.

The seagull’s shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he’s become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips. Its been reported that he has stolen approximately 20 bags of Doritos.

Customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of chips because they think it’s so funny.

(so do I)

VIDEO HERE

Posted in Apple, Family, Humor | 15 Comments

Just A Little Teary Eyed Today

Posted on October 22, 2007 by Meleah

Maybe it is because both of my brothers had their babies last week (Mason & Zaibryn) so I am still overwhelmed with emotional joy from the whole experience. Maybe I just have PMS? Or maybe I am all kinds of teary eyed today because I spent the weekend cleaning out my house. I have begun the process of packing.

I also had to write and send my landlord the email. The one explaining I would not be able to renew my upcoming lease, because I have to move back home. While I have come to accept and embrace the idea of moving back in with my mother and father, writing that letter to my landlord….seeing those words in print….and throwing out a bunch of belongings that wont be coming with me, has made everything so final. This is not just some idea anymore. This is really happening.

Oh, well. At least after I move in with my parents I wont feel like the guy in the green shirt anymore:

Posted in Family, Life | 50 Comments

Zaibryn Rae Colonna

Posted on October 18, 2007 by Meleah

Born October 18, 2007 at 10:43 am

8 Pounds, 8 Ounces

19 3/4 Inches

(Finally a Colonna girl! The first Colonna GIRL in 87 YEARS)

Everyone is doing so great they got to come home from the hospital a day early. We are thrilled!!!

Below is a picture of Zaibryn with her BIG brother Jackson and one of her all ready to come home!

(click to enlarge the images)

Posted in Family | 41 Comments

Lesson Learnt

Posted on October 17, 2007 by Meleah

Never leave my house without my digital camera ever again.

Even if my camera is old and broken. Even if 9 times out of 10 the picture comes out blurry. And even if my camera uses batteries like a prostitute uses condoms…it still would have been really handy to have in my possession when I saw Sanjaya shopping at my local CVS.

Oh, alright, so it wasn’t Sanjaya. And, for the record, I don’t even like Sanjaya. Not.Even.A.Little. But I did frantically search my purse for said crappy digital camera when the Sanjaya look-a-like-could-have-been-practically-identical-twin strolled into the store.

After shoving my hand violently around my gigantic purse for a solid 8 minuets, I still couldn’t locate my camera. That’s when I realized I had left it at home to download more new pictures of Baby Mason.

As I wondered aimlessly into the parking lot, I was lost in deep thought about how funny that post would have been. I was disappointed for missing the perfect opportunity to hold a Spontaneous Sanjaya look a like contest. Distracted, preoccupied, and contemplating the words I would have used in my ‘almost post’ I began unloading the bags from my shopping cart into THE WRONG CAR.

Um. Yeah. Hi.

I was too busy cussing myself out for being ill prepared, that I wasn’t even aware I was putting my bags, into someone else car.

(Because, you know, Hyundai’s and Nissan’s look so much alike. Right?)

The only clue to the situation I had gotten myself into was how clean the back seat of the wrong car was. The back seat of my car is filled with empty coffee cups, cigarette packs, 15 pairs of shoes…all of which I did not see as I was placing bags neatly into…The Wrong Car.

First I panicked. Then I rapidly scanned the parking lot for any onlooker, or the possible owner of the car. Thankfully no one saw me as I quickly removed the bags…and thankfully I wasn’t busted.

Lesson Learnt? There may be a celebrity look a like at any given time, in any given store. Never leave my house without my digital camera ever again. I might end up in jail for a really embarrassing misunderstanding, one that infers to unlawful entry or even burglary.

Posted in Humor, Life, TV and Movies | 54 Comments

Awards & Memes

Posted on October 17, 2007 by Meleah

This always happens to me, whenever I am away from the internet for a few days when I finally make my happy return I am flooded with incoming links to awards and memes.

This week Rolando @ RPlayground has been gracious enough to present me with the Blogging Elegance Award:

Then, my girls Dawn @ Twisted Sister –Totally Pissed Off and Beth / Skipper @ My Life Starts At 42, bestowed upon me the Community Blogger Award which celebrates the people who reach out and make the blogger community a better one. (yeay me) I do feel like I am part of an amazing community of bloggers I am proud to call friends.

*Thank you so much to all of you…these awards will be kept safely and lovingly in the page called My Mantle*

And lastly, we have my man Dan @ Café Leone who has tagged me for the, Whats On Your Desk Top meme. This is the one where, you upload a screenshot of your desktop to share with the world. But I don’t know how to do all of that, so here is a photo of my desk top instead:

Okay…. I think? I got everything and everyone?

Posted in Friends, Memes, Other Bloggers | 8 Comments

Baby Mason Has Arrived

Posted on October 16, 2007 by Meleah

(This was written YESTERDAY….in a hospital in Pennsylvania.)

I received a phone call at 330 am last night, except that I did not remember getting this phone call. At least not until I was halfway en route to my office. I decided to call my mother to figure out if she had really called or if it was just part of a dream I was having. “Morning Mom. Did you call my house last night?” She said, “Yes…I have wonderful news! Her water broke at 330 am last night! She in the hospital! In labor.” “Really?” I said. “Ooooh! That is so great.”

As this phone call took place, I thought my mother was talking about my brother Lee and his wife Maya. (She is also due this month – with baby number two.) There have been quite a few close calls with her going into early labor. But, it wasn’t until I was just about to hang up the phone when my mother dropped the unexpected announcement. “Yes, your father and I aren’t going to work today. We are going to see Adam, Traci and wait for Mason to arrive.”

[Insert a long pause caused by my utter confusion.]

[Followed by screaming with joy]

I shouted, “MASON? Wait….Mason! You mean my brother Adam and TRACI are in labor? ! I thought you said “Zaibryn” I thought you meant Lee & Maya are in labor. Oh My God. Mason? Oh My God. Traci? I cant go to work! Um….? Oh My God! I am turning the car around! I am coming with you guys!”

That is when I took extreme measures in to my own hands in order to make good time. I changed my traveling direction by driving over medians, while speeding down the highway, and talking on my cell phone. I mean, I headed towards my parents house calmly and rationally while I drove safely and obeying all traffic laws.

I called out of work – yet again. I mean really. My little brother was having his first baby. He was hours away from becoming a Daddy. And there was No Way I was missing that.

After spending the day in the hospital…

My brother Adam and his wife Traci welcomed their first baby:

M.D.W.

Born 6 pounds, 10 ounces, and 20 inches long @ 9:35 am on October 15, 2007.

My brother is a Daddy! My sister in law is a Mommy! I am an Aunt!

Just look at this baby!!!

“It’s a brand new baby”

Some of the baby photos are in my flickr album. Click Here!

*Per Request: These Photos have been changed to a PRIVATE status. *
Congratulations to my brother and his wife. I am already in love with Mason.

*Now it is finally time to stalk all the blogs I haven’t been able to read for three days… (this is the longest I have been away from the internet in over a year) I am having major internet and blogger withdrawl…*

Posted in Family, Holidays, Life | 31 Comments

Painting, Paring Down, And My Book

Posted on October 15, 2007 by Meleah

I spent this weekend enjoying the time I have left in my house. The Best Friend came over on Friday night, with chef BrookeStone [insert angels singing] for an evening of pan seared halibut, haricot verde, over fresh garlic with patty pan squash and a spinach salad on the side drizzled in a homemade balsamic dressing. Followed by a movie. Oh My God. Blades Of Glory. Why didn’t anyone tell me about that movie earlier?

(My two new favorite lines: “Little Orphan Awesome” and “I’ll get inside your face.”)

Anyway, Saturday The Best Friend & I spent the day painting. After an expensive trip to Michael’s art supply store, we set up shop in my dining room:

Mind you, in all the time I have lived in this house (4 years) I have used my dining room table…maybe….3 times. I have been so consumed with keeping my house ‘perfect’ at all the times, I have never used my house to live in, or to its full capacity, or even really enjoy. It’s just been work to live here. I wont go into certain rooms or use them, that way I have less to clean. Its easier to maintain a room if you don’t really use it. Well, now that I am leaving my house, the constant urge / need to make and keep everything immaculate is starting to subside. I am actually taking full advantage of all my house has to offer. Including the dinning room table. Which, by the way, makes for the perfect place to paint.

I haven’t lifted a paintbrush in at least 4 years. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle the task. My brother Adam, and his wife Traci are having a baby. The baby is due October 22nd. They asked ME to paint the fan blades in the baby’s room. Flattered, isn’t even the appropriate word. You have no idea how much it means to me to have been invited to be a part of creating the baby’s room.

Now, my usual painting style is abstract or psychedelic type of artwork, yanno… typical dead-head-ish. But, this is a baby. Not a teenager that recently discovered acid. So, I wanted to make something that was baby friendly, yet still complete with the undertones of Aunt Meleah. This way it can be personalized, instead of just being some sort of interior decoration.

Traci had given me three pillows so that I could get the color scheme and feel for the design and motif she is going for. But there are 4 fan blades. I decided to use 3 fan blades to match the 3 pillows. I think? I did a pretty good job of mastering the look:

CLICK THE IMAGES FOR A FULL SIZED VIEW.

(What do you think Adam & Traci? Do you love em?)

For the fourth and final blade, I am going to paint in the trademarked MELZ style. With Masons name painted out in my famous trippy fashion. That one blade will be my little personalized spin. I haven’t finished that one yet, so I will have to revise this post and add that picture when that blade is done.

(I hope you guys like them)

REVISED: Here is the Last Blade:

Sunday, I woke up to my familiar need to clean and do laundry. I also decided to undergo the monumental task of pairing down. I had no idea how much crap I have been accumulating since I have lived here. My decision to start packing up was slammed short when I realized just how much shit I have to get rid of. I can’t even begin to do the closets or the laundry room, which I have been using like a garage. There is so much junk I need to throw out. At some point this week, I am have to go to The Home Depot to purchase the contractor sized garbage bags. You know those industrial kind? These little Hefty bags aren’t going to cut it. That way I can just toss out whatever is broken, or old, or of no use to anyone anymore. Then, I can get rid of all the things I don’t want or need.

Its going to be strange, cleaning out and packing my house. I had always imagined I would live here forever, or until I got married…or something like that.

Alas, I am at peace with moving on, and moving out. I almost cant wait to hurry up and get the fuck out of here already to start living without the bill /rent stress all over me.

Finally, after a wonderful weekend filled with heavenly foods, classic rock music, painting, and friends, I sat in my bubble bath and relaxed. Yes. I relaxed. In silence. In warm glowing candle light and bubbles. (the bathtub is another part of my house I never really used because its too gianormous to clean.) Wow. Why haven’t I been taking baths every Sunday night? It was so nice to be still. (um…oh, and…the tub stopped my back from feeling like it was on fire, as if someone punched me really hard. I think it was from all that painting and cleaning and lifting and throwing out things…man I feel old.)

This upcoming week is going to be very busy for me: finishing the blades, packing my house, getting rid of things I don’t want or need, going though all of my ‘stuff’, letting my landlord know that I am leaving, ect ect ect. (and work a full time job and take care of my son, and oh yeah…trying to finish chapter three….)

Yeah, thats right CHAPTER 2 is now posted. I posted it below Chapter One, rather than how a blog works. This way if someone new in the world happens to find it, the book reads in order, instead of reverse.)

Even though I am incredibly busy, I will be posting here, and reading and commenting. It will be like my own little game, “Lets see exactly how much I can accomplish in a single day without collapsing.”

I wish my weekend could’ve lasted longer, there is still so much I want, and need to do…but this whole having a day job thing gets in the way of all that!

Posted in Family, Friends, Life, Off The Pole, Writing | 28 Comments

Friday Funnies:The Mom

Posted on October 12, 2007 by Meleah

For those of you that are moms (or even if you are just thinking of becoming a mom) and for those of you that have moms, you must watch THIS VIDEO.

So. True. So. True.

Lyrics.

Posted in Humor | 10 Comments