Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

Man I am glad this happened before I moved in.

Where do I begin….?

My mother and I have had a troubled relationship as far back as I can remember. Like most mother daughter relationships, we endured battle during my teenage years and well into my twenties. However, over these last few years, with a lot of hard work on both sides, things began to change. We have grown a mutual respect for each other. We learned how to speak to each other instead of at each other. With an incredible amount of help from my father, I can honestly say that over the last 4 -5 years, things between my mother and I have been pretty great. Pretty damn great. Sure we’ve had the occasional argument here and there, but we were able to work through our issues. For the most part. We even learned how to agree to disagree.

Alas, as moving day is rapidly approaching we are ALL feeling the tension and anxiety.  My mother needed to tell me how she was feeling about a few issues, and in turn, I needed to tell her how I was feeling about a few issues.

(It is amazing to me, how a simple thing like miscommunication caused such confusion, pushing both parties to retreat to their respectable corners to wait for the dust to settle).

I am the first to admit, I tend to have knee-jerk reactions and knee-jerk responses when I am in defensive mode. I am also the first to admit that when I a scared, or if I feel backed into a corner, I revert to *‘The Role’ I know best. Meanwhile my mother jumps into *‘The Role’ she knows best.

And that’s when the head butting begins.

*(‘The Role’ is another post for another day.)

What surprised me? The ‘conflict’ between my mother and I, took less than 24 hours to resolve.

Had this been even two years ago, my mother and I would have stayed adamant and determined refusing to ‘back down.’

But that didn’t happen.

She said what she had to say.

I said what I had to say.

And it was OVER.

Just like that.

We are moving on.

This tiny incident was a huge testament of how much we have grown in our relationship.

I am way LESS nervous to move in.

Prior to this little incident, I was very trepidations as to weather or not The Move would destroy all that my mother and I have built together.

Post incident, I see now that we will be able to work things out as we were able to get out of ‘The Role(s)’ we are so accustomed to, and handle things in a whole different manner.

This is a good thing.

And hopefully, my mother and I will continue on the path we’ve been on without too much turbulence.

Hey…guess who is moving in with The Parents a week earlier than expected?

Me.

Apparently I am NOT moving the weekend of November 30th-December 2nd.

Things have been moved up to Saturday November 24th.

A mere 10 days from now.

Yikes.

I mean Woo-Hoo (said the well-adjusted Meleah.)

At first, when I heard the date had been moved up, I felt the all too familiar anxiety. I mean, there is SO MUCH LEFT TO DO and so very little time to do it. I am loosing an entire weeks worth of time I thought I had to get things in order. But rather than flip out (again) I decided to take charge of things.

Having figured out that I can CONTROL the way I react, even if I can’t CONTROL the situation gives one quite a bit of power. Not having control over anything was making me absolutely insane. Now that I have found something To Control (even if its only my feelings) I intend to run with that. I have processed my feelings enough.

Speaking of controlling things, I stayed home from work yesterday in order to deal with as much as possible. What better way to handle / control things than with one of my trustee and famous lists.

Highlights Of Yesterday’s To-Do List:

1. Called all of the utility companies and notified them of the shut off date. Provided them with my forwarding address to send the close out bill. (Waited on HOLD until I cried “Uncle.”)

2. Went to the transportation office at JCH’s school to change his bus route. Signed all the necessary paperwork that corrects his school records to reflect the new address. (Wore a protective shield (a.k.a hoodie) that deflected the FemBotStepFord Mothers away from me.)

3. Met with the moving company. Got an in-house survey. Obtained the estimated cost to move. (They could have told me it was going to cost 15 billion dollars and I would have signed the dotted line. I am just glad its THEM dealing with these steps and NOT me. Suckers!)

4. Showed up (just in the knick of time) for my appointment at the GI doctor’s office for my test results. (All systems are in fine working condition. Sort-of.)

5. Packed as much as I could, with the boxes I have. (Yeah. Um. There is a whole hellavalot more to go. Where did ALL this stuff come from anyway?)

6. Cased many a store parking lots (as if I was pulling a bank job) for more boxes. The goal here was to seek out as many business establishments I could find that happened to be in the middle of getting a shipment of new merchandise. Then, I tried to persuade them into relinquishing any and all empty boxes to me. (I scored.)

7. Called the bank because I cannot find my ATM / Debit / Credit card ANYWHERE. (A new card will be arriving within 5 -7 business days at said new address.)

(oh yeah and finished the laundry, and took out the trash, and unloaded the dish-washer, and made dinner, and cleaned up…blah. blah. blah. Yes. I am superwoman.)

I can’t believe THIS weekend, is the LAST weekend I will be spending in my house. I always wished I had known it was going to be The Last Time I was ever going to…[insert many things here]…but this time I know it’s The Last Time. My last weekend of indoor smoking, my last weekend ALONE, my last weekend in this tub, my last…well you get the idea. I am going to take full advantage of The Last Time and enjoy every second. I don’t want to spend the last weekend in my house crying, feeling sorry for myself, bitching or moaning.

It’s definitely come down to crunch time. I don’t have time to waste feeling shitty.

Damn, speaking of time, I am running out of it sitting here typing away…I haven’t even begun to pack the kitchen, or my bedroom, or Justin’s room….or..um..yeah. I have lot to do…