Macne

Macne (pronounced: Mac-Knee)

This could be a wonderful new Apple product for people experiencing sudden and humiliating bouts of iAcne.

Rather then walking around in public with embarrassing red dots that are obviously swollen from picking at your face, or the noticeable “cake-face” from spackling on way too much foundation and powder, may I suggest a new approach for concealment in such times of need. Apple icon stickers, that are medicated on one side with benzoyl peroxide, which can, and should be used to cover your Zits.

‘Macne’

Trendy and Helpful.

Posted in Apple, Friends, Humor | 19 Comments

A Proud Parent Moment

I have posted a few of the other ‘book reports’ my son JCH has done over the years. My favorite has always been his spin on King Arthur. That is, until now. I am thoroughly, completely, and utterly impressed with my son. For a second, I thought he may have cheated, or copied some of this off of the Internet. But, I can assure you, he did not. I am so proud of my son and the three hours it took him to write this report. I think this says A+ all over it!

Biography Report Samuel Adams; By JCH

For the Biography Book Report I researched the man Samuel Adams. He lived in the 1700’s during the American Revolution. During that time the thirteen colonies (America) were trying to brake away from the mother country of England. He, as a matter of fact, played a huge roll in the American Revolution. Some of the things that occurred during the American Revolution were things such as the birth of the Declaration of Independence, Paul Revere’s famous ride, and the Boston Tea Party.

One character trait of Samuel Adams, or as we’ll call him Sam Adams, is intelligent. Intelligent would be a great character trait for Sam Adams because of several reasons. One reason, why the character trait intelligent would be great for Sam Adams is because he attended Harvard University. At the time, only very wealthy families could afford sending their child to college. Fortunately Sam Adams’ family was very wealthy. It may have required money to go to Harvard but it also required great intelligence. It required great intelligence to go to Harvard because; it was and still is today considered as a very noble school. He attended Harvard for 7 years and received his Masters Degree.

Another character trait of Sam Adams is political. Sam Adams was a very political man. During his spare time he would discuss political issues with his friends. Most of the time, his political opinion was against England. When attending Harvard University he was originally taught to be a minister but then fell in love with politics. While his friends would often enjoy playing, he enjoyed talking to strangers about politics. He was considered as a great political speaker due to his excellent listening skills and his way of using Greek and Latin quotes to refer to the government.

The final character trait that would describe Samuel Adams greatly is courageous. Sam Adams was a very, very, very courageous man. To be able to stand against the most powerful government of the time requires extreme courage. He helped organize the original Sons of Liberty in Boston which caused the drawback of the stamp act. He signed the Declaration of Independence which could’ve gotten him hung, shot, and had his insides cut out and burned. But, Samuel Adams had the courage to stand up against Britain and sign the Declaration for what he believed in. That is true courage, fighting for what you believe in no matter what the consequences.

Some of Sam Adams accomplishments include signing of the Declaration of Independence and the forming of the Sons of Liberty. He was one of the many men to sign the Declaration of Independence. The Declaration of Independence was the single most important thing that America ever did and ever has done. If it wasn’t for that document we would still be English, so you see the importance of this document. It was also the most important thing Sam Adams ever had to do with. It must have been a great honor for him to sign, being that he was such a political man. The founding of the Sons of Liberty was a major accomplishment for him. Considering that the Sons of Liberty were the main reason why the stamp act was revoked. The Sons of Liberty were an aggressive group that was extremely against the British power. They did several things to the British soldiers such as cover them in tar and put feathers on them and force them to drink tea.

My opinion of Sam Adams is that he is a great man. I said “is’’ instead of “was’’ because in many ways he is still here. The beer called Samuel Adams is in fact after this man. Sam Adams himself was a brewer but only for a short while. He is still learned about today and is known by many people. His accomplishments have caused us to live in this future that we live in today. All of his actions have affected us. By signing the Declaration of Independence, that gave us two signatures, his brother’s and his. By organizing the Sons of Liberty that revoked the stamp act and helped give us our freedom.

I absolutely believe that Sam Adams should be considered a hero. He should be a hero because, if he never existed think of where we might be. We might still be under British rule. Education may only be given to the wealthy. But, the worst thing that may have happened if Sam Adams never happened is that America wouldn’t have happened.

Well Done My Boy.

And I thought Sam Adams just made one hell of a great beer.

Posted in Family, JCH quotes, Life | 19 Comments

My Office Goes Green?

Or is this just an effort to for my office to save money? When I received this email, I started to get a little nervous.

1. As of Monday, March 24th Styrofoam cups will no longer be available (there will be stock for guests). Please bring your own mug/cup for coffee/water. If you forget, please help yourself to mugs that are downstairs in the kitchen and make them your own. We are all responsible for washing our own mug/cup; the cleaning people won’t wash any left in the sinks.

(This one is not that bad. And it’s probably better for the environment. Okay. I can get behind this one.)

2. Keep in mind that all personal mail and fedx going through the office must be paid in accounting.

(Good thing I don’t usually have to Fed-Ex anything. That sh*t is expensive.)

3. Spring cleaning. If you have any extra supplies on your desk (scissors, staplers, paper clips, pens, pencils, etc.) please bring them to XXXXX upfront.

(Extra supplies? People if we had ‘extra supplies’ we wouldn’t need to enforce all of these ‘cut backs’. Now would we?)

4. Sticky notes and legal pads will no longer be available. Please don’t throw out any used copy paper. Bring used copy paper to XXXXX and she will cut it up for scrap paper. Please help yourself to it.

(And this is one that makes me nervous. While I am sure this one is also better for the environment and I am ‘down’ with all things that will save the lives of trees…I cannot live without Sticky Notes. I mean, that’s how I keep track of which accounts I have to follow up on, and with what insurance company. I have The Worst Memory. What am I supposed to do? Scrap Paper does not stick to files. Thus, the need for Sticky Notes. And, I wont even have a Legal Pad to make a LIST of what I need to remember.)

5. All ordering of supplies will be approved by XXXXX in accounting.

Thanks Management.

I am guessing that making a list of the supplies I require on a Legal Pad that includes more Sticky Notes will not be approved.

*****REVISED EDITION******

These are NOT photos of my office.

(I found them on the net.)

However, now I have some pretty good ideas on how to implement some:

SWEET REVENGE

Posted in Humor, Work | 43 Comments

Parent Teacher Conferences

I loathe going to Parent Teacher Conferences. Sorry.

Not just because of this time, or this time. But, because I can not deal with fighting for a parking space, in the rain, rushing to get there on time after work, and feeling like I am under the judgmental microscope of glaring educational eyeballs, when it’s just The Same Exact Conversation. Every. Single. Time.

Your son is incredibly smart. He could be a straight A+ student if he applied himself. He gets 100’s on tests when he doesn’t even study… but, the ‘TUDE’ is an issue.” Blah. Blah. Blah.

Can’t she just write that statement in the comments section of his report card that I am going to receive in 3 days?

At some point, I always drift off into my own thoughts usually around mid-conference. I simply can’t help it. I cannot pay attention to the same conversation 35,865,129 times.

Thanks to my friend Jennifer, all I could think about while Justin’s teacher was talking, was pretending I did this:

Suddenly interrupting the meeting, grabbing the teachers’ forearm, leaning in closely to the teacher and say, “Look, these are all really valid points and I support your teaching methods 100%, but I have to know something. This has been on my mind for weeks, and I have to clear up any gossip that’s been going around the school. Are you? Or are you NOT currently dating the Gym Teacher?

As I laughed to myself, fighting back my smile, I could tell the teacher knew I wasn’t actively listening to what she has to say. The meeting ended with her handing me a copy of Justin’s pre-report card. (All A’s & B’s) Big. Surprise.

How many of you drift off during parent teacher conferences? And what do you think about?

Posted in Family, Friends, Humor, JCH quotes, Life | 24 Comments

Happy Easter

happy-easter.bmp

Posted in Holidays, Humor | 16 Comments

Good Friends : Always Looking Out For Me.

I received a wonderful email today from one of my oldest and dearest friends who is forever concerned about my health conditions. She knows exactly what it’s like for me to try and ‘work’ from home while in the middle of a Crohn’s attack.

So, just like a good friend, and one that is always looking out for me, she found the perfect “solution” to my problem. I am proud to share with you:

My New Office.

Thanks grrl. You are the best.

Posted in Friends, Humor, Other Bloggers | 19 Comments

Household Appliance Repairs

And THIS video … Is WHY

I love iMovie ‘07.

So. Very. Much.






Posted in Apple, Art, Family, Humor, Life | 41 Comments

Apple iMovie ‘08

Um. No. Sorry. Not A Fan.

I love All Things Apple, so it literally pains me to express how disappointed I am with the new addition of iMovie.

iMovie ‘08. What The Hell Happened?

While some of the features are good, in fact time savers even. What’s troubling me about the new version of iMovie is what it is LACKING.

I was expecting to see a bigger-better-bolder version. I was planning to be enthralled, engaged and engrossed. I was hoping to play for hours with plenty of sparkly new effects and editing tools. But, after using iMovie ‘08 for an hour… Instead? I feel kinda ripped off.

Granted, I do not have/own iMovie08. So, 1. This may be a premature review, and 2. I have not been able to dedicate any real time to the application, and, like most people I am adverse to change. However, from what I did see, and use, and try, iMovie ‘08 was a giant let down.

Maybe I am missing something, but I couldn’t even find the ‘Time Line’. Why is this application all sorts of confusing looking? Gah. I dont really like the new ‘lay out’. And…really…someone please help me out here. Why did Apple decide to set the default for the program to have the most annoying Ken Burns Effects automatically applied to EVERY SINGLE imported image? I had to go into every image an un-check the ‘Ken Burns Effect’ manually. How about this…if I wanted the ‘KBE’, I would have added it myself. (Would have been nice to be given a choice.) After reading the iMovie ‘08 pamphlet, I discovered that I will always have to manually remove the ‘KBE’ from each individual image. Always. That is unless I want people to feel nauseous after watching one of my ‘movies.’

Aside from ‘KBE’ and the ever so lacking of options, capabilities, and choices, I did like the way you can chop/hack/edit/crop/cut clips or images. That feature IS cool.

But, iMovie07 (the one I use and love) has so many more possible combinations, capabilities, transitions, and titles. ‘Splitting a video clip at the play head’ simply makes my day. Being able to manipulate the time line so every single frame / photo hits the accompanied music note exactly where and how I want it, makes me drunk with power. I just couldn’t live without the effects ‘Push’ and ‘Radial’. And I would miss the ‘Star Wars Lettering’ capabilities far too much.

(Thankfully I keep saying NO to upgrading my version of iMovie)

I wonder though…as I am saving up to buy the newest iMac desktop, which comes with iMovie 08 already installed on it, will I be able to have and use iMovie 07 on my new iMac too? Hmm? Leslie?

And…does anyone know about, or has anyone used the program ‘Final Cut’ Or ‘Final Cut Pro’? I am thinking about getting my hands on that as well.

Oh wait…while I am on the subject, can anyone tell me where I can securely purchase a Mouse Pad with the Apple Logo on it? Apparently my local Apple Store does not believe in Mouse Pads.

At All.

~Okay rant over. Yes Michael, I am now going back into iMovie 07 so that I can finish my latest work in progress. 🙂

Posted in Apple, Friends, Links, Other Bloggers | 20 Comments

Gone Drinking

stpatsdaypost.jpg

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! 🙂

Just a few things to keep in mind on this holiday:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco
Bell ? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

** Oh! And in other exciting news, I am in a MOVIE! Check THIS out!! **

Posted in Friends, Holidays, Humor, Other Bloggers | 28 Comments

Wherein I Pout

For the most part I have come to terms with the fact that I have extremely limited food choices. Thanks to Crohns, Celiacs, and Food Allergies. 99.9% of the time I walk around starving, angry, and tired. But, there is not much I can do about that situation, other than accept it. Fortunately my father is an excellent cook. He is forever finding, and making, fabulous meals for me to indulge. *Thank You Daddy*

The other ‘fun fact’ I have to live with as a result of my many health issues is that I have a very weak immune system. It is half past impossible for me to fight off any bacteria, infections, or illnesses. I learned that lesson last year when I kept getting sick. All. The. Time. (I mean who in the world contracts The German Measles? I did.) Basically, if there is ‘something’ in the air…9 times out of 10…I am going to ‘catch it’. Unless I plan on spending the rest of my life in a hermetically sealed bubble, I am going to get sick. And I am going to be sick often.

Long story short? I was contaminated with Strep Throat from my son. *thanks a lot pal * Even though I tried my best to avoid him, I even washed my hands a thousand times, no such luck. By Friday morning, I was unable to swallow and a firey hell was burning the walls of my mouth. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I called the doctor and made an appointment for 1245 pm. Low and behold proof positive test came back for STREP. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Had I been diagnosed on a Tuesday, I probably wouldn’t have minded as much. I honestly don’t really care when I have to miss a day or two from work. I am fully capable of doing my job from home. In fact, I think I am able to do a better job from home. I can access all of my emails and all of the rating programs I use in the office without the distractions that come with being in the office. I usually get 8 hours of work completed in 3. Go figure.

Anyway. Why am I pouting?

I hardly EVER “Go. Out”.

(Most of my weekends are spent at home with my child, or reading, or sleeping, or watching the E channel, and writing. And that works for me.)

I never never never have “PLANS to Go. Out.”

(The biggest ‘plans’ I’ve made over the last few years, have been to meet one of my friends at their house for a riveting game of scrabble.)

But I have I never never ever ever ever ever “Been Given An Exclusive Invitation To Go Out With One Of My Girlfriends And: A Multi-Millionaire (that drives a Bentley and a Lamborghini, with his other Multi-Millionaire Bentley and a Lamborghini driving buddy) To The Roof Top Club in N.Y.C. With A Guest List That Is Laced With Celebrities (including Alec Baldwin).

No. That. Never Happens. (For Me).

Except that it did.

On Saturday.

And I couldn’t go.

Yep.

I am pouting.

I am sick of being hungry. I am sick of watching everyone else eat all of the foods I can’t enjoy. I am sick of being sick. I am sick of missing out. I am sick of being tired. I am sick of being angry. I am sick of not having any control over any of these issues. And, I am sick of whining and complaining. So I will just go back to bed, get under the covers, and shut up now.

PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST FRIEND OF 20 YEARS LESLIE! I LOVE YOU! xxoo xxoo xxoo. I HOPE THAT YOU ARE HAVING THE BEST WEEKEND EVER. xxoo xxoo xxoo

Posted in Drama Drama, Friends, Holidays, Life, Strong Medicine | 36 Comments