Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

I’ve received quite a few emails inquiring as to the reasons behind my change in job position. So, rather than type (and or copy paste) the same exact story 30+ times and send out a mass emailing, I figured it would be easier on all of us, if I just came out with it. Of course, I am going to have to alter the names of my fellow employees, and any other identifying attributes that may leave trace evidence as to where I work. I’ve already had that type of stern warning, and way too close for comfort closed-door meeting/threat of being fired for blogging about work. I am treading lightly over here people.

That being said, the following story, is the reason that I am currently working as a Customer Service Representative. However, I am a CSR that does not answer the phone, or talk to any of the actual clients. Mainly, because I don’t even have an extension. (Or Internet Access.) But we’ll get into all of that later on down the line.

Anyway……………………

Once upon a time there was a very kind, blue-eyed, white haired lady, named Betty. Betty was a hard working ‘Bond Girl’. (No, not the ‘007’ kind of ‘Bond Girl’, because that would be way too cool for this story.) Betty is the Insurance kind of ‘Bond Girl.’ After working for 25 years in a row, for the same boss, day after day, while single handedly raising her disabled daughter, after loosing her husband to a battle with cancer, and, moving her own sickly mother back into her house, Betty finally decided to take a vacation. Betty certainly needed and deserved a vacation more than anyone else in the whole wide world.

Betty packed her bags and set sail upon a mystical cruise ship in hopes of finding that fountain of youth other elderly people are always talking about. Instead, she found a puddle by the pool. And she slipped. And fell. And shattered her 64 year old kneecaps.

Once safely arriving home, Betty was in constant critical pain that may require several different possible surgeries to restructure what remains inside of her tired old bones. Obviously, Betty had to leave our offices and go out on disability in order to rehabilitate her once very strong, now very frail appendages, known as legs.

But who in the world would? Or could do Betty’s job? Without trying to steal it. Certainly not a ‘Temp’. I mean c’mon, after a few sips of our famous homemade coffee that tastes like burnt eggs and manure, brewed fresh to peel the lining off of your intestinal track, any ‘Temp’ would be drooling, pining, and fighting for a full time position right here at ‘We Live To Write Insurance LLC.’ Besides, by the time our office was done training s/he, we would have to let them go. Because after 25 of years of service and dedication, it is our responsibility to protect Betty’s welfare and to keep her job secure.

(Sidebar: In all seriousness, my office is really good like that. They truly have a sense of loyalty to their employees. I’m pretty sure that kind of loyalty is the only reason I still have a job. No one who has worked for ‘We Live To Write Insurance LLC’ for any length of time has to worry about being replaced if they need to be out of the office for an extended period of time due to major illness and or injury. At least that’s what was made clear to me upon my reluctant return to the office. Now, back to the story.)

What to do? What to do? How to fill the gaps and keep everyone gainfully employed?

As it turns out, there was a short, quite, blonde haired lady, with thin-rimmed glasses that already worked in our office…who just happened to be rather savvy when it came to being a Bond Girl. (Jack Pot!) Sarah was asked to ‘fill-in’ for a few days until ‘The Powers That Be’ could reach a final decision.

Sarah took to the bond department much like a duck to water leaving her close-knit associate CSR’s all alone. With an extra desk. And an extra pile of mail. And extra certificate requests. And extra Auto ID Cards. And extra clients. And an extra 2.3 million dollar book of business. Unattended.

Even with the ‘Super Hero, Multi-tasking, Take No Prisoners, and Take No Shit Employee’ named Tammy at the helm of the CSR department, fielding 99.9% of the incoming paper storm, there was simply no way to manage the incessant ringing of the telephones and faxes galore that come pouring out of the machines in a constant never ending stream of emergencies.

With Sarah handling Betty’s desk, and with multiple CSR’s ‘Missing In Action’, considering June, July and August are also known as “’Tis The Season For All Vacations Across The Insurance Land” that left the already short staffed CSR department practically vacant.

By the time the stack of unanswered insurance needs had reached the ceiling? I had returned from foreign soil also known as ‘The Worst Vacation Ever’. That’s also just about the same time I was approached by upper management.

When the Office Manager, Mona, cornered me in the break room and confronted me on my latest faux pas about what is the appropriate way to give notice when one will be taking time off from work, and knowing that I was already in ‘Jail’ without a ‘Get Out Free Card’ I was fully prepared to surrender to any offering she was about to lay at my feet.

Mona reminded me of the liberties I’ve been given time and time again. With my back against the wall, I agreed in advance to whatever “help” she was about to ask of me. Only with the understanding that all of my previous wrong doings would be forgiven.

It was then when I was politely asked to make good on their investment, by returning some of the favors I’ve been granted over a six- year endurance test I like to call my employment history.

What could I say?

Mona (my former arch enemy) beamed with glorious victory as she announced that I would be going to the CSR department. Temporarily. Until Betty’s triumphant return. I couldn’t say no.

I did, however, get all sorts of ‘Robert De Niro’ from the movie ‘Analyze This’ on her.

“You.” “You’re Good.” I said. “You Got Me.” “ I walked right into that one didn’t I?”

“Yep. You will start on Monday, June 23rd at 8am.” And Mona walked away. Which, from a distance, and if you squinted really hard, could have been mistaken for Dancing A Jig.

And there you have it.

I will be stationed in the CSR department until Betty can return to the office which may take anywhere from 3 to 6 months.

As I’ve mentioned before, I am doing and feeling much better about being in this ‘new’ department.

1. I’ve come to terms with the fact that it makes the most logical sense to have me in this position.

2. I ‘honest to blog’ feel like I’ve finally buried the hatchet with the Office Manager. We seem to be starting on a fresh page, with a clean slate, what with all of her unsolicited “Good Job” compliments.

3. Also, I genuinely have a newfound respect for these ladies. I want to make each one of them their own personal Trophy. I am increasingly impressed when I personally witness what these hard working ladies go through on a daily basis, without ingesting Valium by the fistful. Although there is a lot of Tums and Rolaids being passed around kind of like a peace pipe, or crack.

I can’t believe I am going to admit this, but…it’s actually starting to feel good to be a ‘Team Player’. (Rather than The Outsider.) I am truly happy to be able to give back to my company (specifically my boss) the way he has so freely given to me.