Certified Medical Assistant – The Completed My “Clinicals” Edition

Posted on October 20, 2020 by Meleah

So … when you’re in ‘Medical Assistant’ School and trying to obtain several different certificates, for several different qualifications – part of the training/learning process is “hands-on” which is what the term “clinical” means with regards to this blog post.

Clinical means you have to PROPERLY perform certain tasks such as: taking Vital Signs, taking and reading an EKG strip, and of course drawing blood for phlebotomy. Also? You have to take a certain AMOUNT of PROPER blood draws and EKG’s and Vitals – in order to complete your clinicals.

Because in reality? Especially when you’re just learning? You have NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE DOING and the FLOP SWEAT ALONE will make you feel like you’re going to faint before you even attempt to take someone’s blood pressure, not to mention sticking a needle in someone’s arm!

That being said, in order to complete my “CLINICALS” I needed …

10 clean EKG’s .
10 clean capillary punctures (finger sticks).
31 venipunctures (straight & butterfly style).
30 Vital Signs (temp, height & weight, pulse, BP, Pulse OX, and Apical Pulse.)
And they had to be done correctly, with the proper supervision, by an appointed instructor.

As some of you may recall, my BFF otherwise known as ATB, offered to be one of my volunteers to practice my “sticks” on.

[Side Bar: Click HERE to refresh your memory.]

After Amy’s rave reviews and her undying willingness to help me complete my journey through my clinicals, much to my surprise, her amazing husband, Robb, signed up too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then somehow – every time we had clinicals in classes, Amy & Robb, showed up at my school, RELIGIOUSLY, to help me out.

And not ONLY did they help ME out?

Those two ended up volunteering for my whole class!
They let OTHER students stick them too!
And they even let random students FROM OTHER CLASSES take their Vital Signs too!

** GOD BLESS MY PEEPS!! **

 

 

So tonight, Tuesday October 20th, 2020 – I completed my clinicals. Correctly and properly! Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

And I could NOT have done it without the two of them!

THANK YOU SOFA KING MUCH GB’S!!!

 

Now that everything, other than studying before the NHA, is mostly finished – it was time to say goodbye to my teacher (whom I’ll probably never see again in real life again). I REALLY didn’t think I would get as emotional as I did.

First, I asked her if I could give her a hug or if I was only allowed to give her an elbow pump, due to #COVID-19. When she agreed to the hug and put her arms around me, I broke down in tears, while saying, “Thank you Dr. Margareet, for teaching me so much and helping me change my life forever. And thank you for giving me the courage when I didn’t have any of my own.”

My classmates “awwed” at my “soft side” before I collected myself and thanked her again. This time without sobbing! She told me she loved me, she was so proud of me, to stay in contact with her, and that I will do amazing things in my future. And I believe her.

I cried tears of pride and joy the whole way home from school.

And then?

I posted my last class picture, with my teacher, on Instagram and Facebook.

And then?

I died laughing.

Why?

Because of ATB!

Here is the photo…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And here’s my caption …

Followed by ATB’s comment!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I swear on ALL THINGS BACON….

Amy AND Robb, legit withstood more clinicals than some of my classmates!

 

That’s all for now.

Stay, tuned.

Love,
M

Posted in Medical Assistant School, Photos | Comments Off on Certified Medical Assistant – The Completed My “Clinicals” Edition

Certified Clinical Medical Assistant – The EKG Edition

Posted on October 19, 2020 by Meleah

Y’all, the human heart and the circulatory system is probably the most fascinating ‘Module’ I’ve learned thus far. It’s also the LAST ‘Module’ I had to complete! But reading EKG strips = NOT EASY AT ALL. Not. Even. A. Little. There are soooooooooooooooooooooooo many different dysrhythmias and a whole lot of math involved. And we all know Meleah + Math = No Buenos!

Thankfully, after an hour “math session” on the phone with my son, I finally learned how to multiply and divide, like a big girl, in third grade. Except we didn’t use that “new-math” shit – because FUCK THAT NOISE!

Anyway … here are my test scores for the EKG portion of school:

Chpt 2: Cardiovascular System = 20/20 (100%)
Chpt 3: Electrocardiograph = 14/15
Chpt 4: Performing an EKG = 14/15
Chpt 5: Rhythm Strips & Sinus Rhythms & Chpt 6: Atrial Dysrhythmias = 29/30
Chpt 7: Junctional Dysrhythmias & Chpt 8: Heart Blocks = 24/25
Chpt 9: Ventricle Dysrhythmias = 15/15 (100%)
Then …
Chpt 10: Pacemakers & Bundlebranches + Chpt 11: Exercise EKG’s + Chpt 12: Ambulatory Monitoring + Chpt 13: Managing Cardiac Patients + Chpt 14: EKG 12 Lead Interpretation (Were only included on the final exam)

And my FINAL EXAM which included all of the Chapters above =

!!! 93/100 !!!

BOOYAH!!

 

Also?

After an intense 4 hour training course, I am officially CPR certified too!

I’m not going to lie – chest compressions are a lot harder in real life than they look on television and it’s ONE HELL OF A WORK OUT because the next day my legs felt like I had done 1,000,000 squats and my shoulders were ON FIRE. But it was well worth it because now I know how to save a life. Literally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So…

Now all that’s left is finishing up my “clinicals” – I just need 11 more venipuncture sticks. But, I only have from now until 10/31 to study my face off – for the BIGGEST EXAM OF MY LIFE … THE NHA.

Here’s my schedule for the next two weeks:

Monday 10/19 = NHA Review Class on Zoom
Tuesday 10/20 = Campus for Clinicals (hopefully I will finish)
Wednesday 10/21 = NHA Review Class on Zoom
Thursday 10/22 = NHA “Practice Assessment” – (online at home)
Friday 10/23 = NHA Review Class on Zoom
Saturday 10/24 = NHA “Practice Assessment” – (online at home)
Sunday 10/25 = NHA “Practice Assessment” – (online at home)

Monday 10/26 = NHA “Practice Assessment” – (online at home)
Tuesday 10/27 = NHA Assessment ON CAMPUS and you MUST score 80 or above or your not “allowed” to sit for the actual NHA exam!! Also, we can finish up any last minute clincals if we haven’t completed them by then.
Wednesday 10/28 = NHA “Practice Assessment” – (online at home)
Thursday 10/29 & Friday 10/30 = REVIEW EVERYTHING I’VE EVER LEARNED

Saturday 10/31 8am-5pm = NHA FINAL EXAM!!
PLEASE SEND GOOD VIBES & PRAYERS AND ALL THAT JAZZ!

Oh, and did I mention that I got HIRED for my internship?

And not ONLY for an internship – the doctor’s office ALREADY decided that after I complete my 100 hours – they are keeping me ON full-time!!

I start my new job on 11/4!

And that’s a wrap people!
Stay, tuned!

Love,
M

Posted in Medical Assistant School, Photos | Comments Off on Certified Clinical Medical Assistant – The EKG Edition

Certified Clinical Medical Assistant – Phlebotomy Edition – Part Two

Posted on September 16, 2020 by Meleah

(Part One can be found my clicking HERE!)

First of all – I have NO IDEA why/how time is flying SOFA KING fast, but I only have 4 weeks left in school. My last day of class will be on 10/15/2020! And I only have 6 weeks to prepare for the biggest test of my life; the NHA Exam on 10/31/2020.

Yeah, that’s right.

I am taking the biggest test of my life on Halloween while there’s a Full Moon!
(Yikes!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because we’re running out of time to complete the required “clinicals” – such as vital signs and venipuncture sticks – we’re allowed to bring one guest to class (per week) to use as “test” patients! And my BFF, otherwise known as ATB, graciously allowed me to use her as my human pincushion!

 

And here’s how that worked out …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

** Clearly you can tell how nervous I was because my shoulders are practically touching my ears! I am hunched over so badly, my spine is practically circular!

After freaking out, feeling a knot in my stomach, and then taking several deep breaths – I scored a really good venipuncture stick from her median antecubital space on my first try!! Then, I got another really good stick on the dorsal side of her hand via butterfly method on my first try too!

Thank you, Amy! You’re the bestest EVER and your veins are even better! XOXO

And here’s what Amy had to say about my performance!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then?

I found out I made the ‘Official School Facebook Page’ too!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But, phlebotomy is HARD y’all! HARD AF!
I mean REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hard!

As I’ve mentioned before – luckily I am fortunate enough to live alone and currently unemployed, which provides me with the luxury of studying, studying, studying for 8-10 hours per day, uninterrupted. Otherwise, there is NO WAY IN HELL I would be able to get the grades I’ve been getting.

Speaking of grades?

Here are my scores for all of the tests included in the ‘Phlebotomy Module’ and my test score for the Final Exam!

Chapter 17 – Medical Asepsis & OSHA Standards = 29/29 (100%)

Chapter 18 – Sterilization & Disinfection = 37/37 (100%)

Chapter 31- Phlebotomy = Part One: 20/20 (100%) | Part Two: 37/39

Chapter 32 – Hematology = 29/30

Chapter 33 – Blood Chemistry = 35/36

Chapter 30 – Urinalysis = Part One: 15/16 | Part Two: 21/23

Chapter 25 – Minor Office Surgery = Part One: 15/15 (100%) | Part Two: 25/25 (100%)

Chapter 29 – Introduction To Clinical Labs (no test. included in the final.)

Chapter 26 – Administration of Medications & Intravenous Therapy (no test. also included in the final.)

And lastly …

**** PHELBOTOMY FINAL SCORE: 101/110! ****

 

Sorry to brag.
Wait.
No, I’m not!

I have never felt such a sense of accomplishment and pride, like, ever!
And I have truly busted my ass to get here!

Now, if you’ll kindly excuse me…

I am absolutely exhausted and I need to rest before I start learning and studying the ‘EKG Module’ tomorrow night!

 

Stay tuned!

Love,
M

Posted in Friends, Life, Links, Medical Assistant School, Photos | Comments Off on Certified Clinical Medical Assistant – Phlebotomy Edition – Part Two

Certified Clinical Medical Assistant School – The Phlebotomy Edition

Posted on August 4, 2020 by Meleah

Many of you know I have a long-standing and well-documented INTENSE FEAR of needles – including passing out every single time I have to get blood work. I suffer from Vasovagal Syncope, which is just a fancy medical term for fainting.

My personal experiences have been so bad – I’ve been sent to the ‘Children’s Ward’ at LabCorp, multiple times, accompanied by my mother and/or father and/or any other adult/friend to hold my hand.

To this day – I still have to lie down, look at the wall, and sing the alphabet while trying to inhale and exhale as slowly as possible.

And THEN?
Sometimes it STILL takes 8-10 STICKS for any phlebotomist to get an actual vein.

And then?
And even when they DO get SOME of my blood?

Suddenly, my veins collapse and my body turns into the ‘Soup Nazi’ …
“NO MORE BLOOD FOR YOU!”

[Side Bar: And that’s after drinking soooo much water to “fluff-up-my-superficial-veins” I literally micturate (fancy medical term for urinate) CLEAR fluids. And? That’s also after taking ½ a Xanax to calm my nerves!]

That being said, I was ABSOLUTELY terrified to start the phlebotomy module of my CCMA course. I literally had nightmares and woke up with cold sweats just imagining reading about needles and drawing blood.

Once I knew we were allowed to attend CAMPUS – IN REAL LIFE – and we were going to learn how to practice taking blood draws BEFORE we even READ THE ACTUAL CHAPTER ON PHELBOTOMY?

** I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT **

In fact, at one point, I was so scared – I almost contemplated quitting school. I got myself so worked up I nearly convinced myself that I had made a horrible life choice and I should just give up and run away.

But then?

I thought about how far I have come.
And I put on my big girl panties.

But when I showed up on campus that Thursday evening, I felt lightheaded. Just two days before – the mere sight of a needle made me dizzy. My classmates saw my face turn ghost white as I grabbed a chair to stop myself from falling after the teacher shoved the ‘beveled edge of the needle’ one inch from my face – so I could see how the needle is supposed to be inserted.

Luckily, before class, I was smart enough to try to ‘desensitize’ myself by watching THOUSANDS of videos on phlebotomy. Like hours and hours of videos, until I was able to watch them without flinching!

After listening to a lecture on ‘Medical Asepsis’ and taking a quiz and getting 100% on said quiz – although that lecture and the contents within had NOTHING to do with learning how to drawing blood – I felt a little more confident.

But when we walked into the “Lab” …(which is now inside the cafeteria because of Covid-19 and the 6 feet apart rule) I almost threw up.

Even though this is just a ‘fake arm’ it scared the blue hell out of me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I stayed as far away as I possibly could and I watched everyone else in class do it first. While paying close attention to what my classmates were doing … Suddenly and out of nowhere – the fighter-tough-as-nails-never-gives-up-kick-asses-and-takes-names-Meleah showed up. And she was on a Mother Fucking mission!

I grabbed my supplies and walked over to the creepy fake arm with my classmates cheering me on. They rallied behind me in true support. It’s almost like they wanted me to succeed as much as I did. The feeling of camaraderie took over my sheer terror. Armed with my newfound determination I was ready. More than I would ever be.

And here’s how that worked out for me …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And now?
I am NO LONGER scared of needles WHATSOEVER!

And now?
I CANNOT WAIT to go back to campus and draw REAL blood from a REAL arm!!

And now?
I can’t wait for the next time my OWN doctor has to take MY blood again! He might be the one to faint this time, when I’m not scared or singing the alphabet!!

But since those pictures don’t really do the evening justice?

Here are the “live photos” that have been converted into videos.

Now you can witness my REAL TIME / REAL LIFE / REAL EXPRESSIONS the very first time I drew blood with a needle in class!

(PS: These are SUPER SHORT – I totally wish these were longer. Nevertheless, I am amazed that my classmate managed to get the PERFECT timing on these and capture the EXACT moment!)

ENJOY!

 

That’s all for now folks!

Stay tuned.

Love,
M

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Life, Medical Assistant School, Photos, Videos | Comments Off on Certified Clinical Medical Assistant School – The Phlebotomy Edition

When You Accidentally Burn Your Mother’s Who-Ha, Taking A Trip To Brooklyn, And A Medical School Update

Posted on July 15, 2020 by Meleah

Sooo….My mom had a bunch of construction done during this crazy pandemic and I offered to help her clean up the “dust” – because as we all know, NO ONE cleans better than I do. After spending HOURS removing the construction mess, I did my regular “deep clean” to make her brand new bathroom SPARKLE. The first thing I do when cleaning a bathroom is squeeze in the toilet bowl cleaner, like Cling, or Clorox. I also hose down the entire bathroom with other bleachy products to let them soak into the tub/shower/sinks before scrubbing it down.

UNBEKNOWST to me … my mother’s new electronic fancy toilet bowl is also a bidet, which shoots temperature-controlled water into your ‘area’ for optimal hygiene ‘down there’. And even though I scrubbed THE FUCK out of her toilet, and flushed it a few times?

Apparently, that wasn’t good enough – because there was still Clorox ‘residue’ that remained ON THE JETS of said bidet. So when my poor mom went to use her freshly cleaned toilet?

All hell broke loose.

And it basically burned her Bajingo right off.

And then she ended up getting a U.T.I.

Sorry, Mommy.
My Bad.

Oh…

AND THEN?

And, then …

Her new spa/bathtub has all these different buttons, knobs, handles, jets, waterfalls, and spray guns – that NO ONE has fully figured out how to use properly, yet.

So the second time cleaned her bathroom?

I accidentally left the spray gun in the ON position when I used it to rinse her tub EXTRA thoroughly, to avoid any future “Clorox Vaginal Burns” so when my mom turned on her bathtub?

WATER SHOT EVERYWHERE.

The walls. The floors. The ceiling. EVERYWHERE. Violently.

And she couldn’t figure out how to shut it off!

I received her frantic phone call and high-tailed it back to her house until we both figured out how to fix it!

So, obviously, I’ve been “fired” from THAT job.

 

** In other news….

My son, Justin, and his girlfriend, Claudia (whom I love and adore) – wanted to host their 1st “Family Dinner” in their newly updated/renovated/decorated Brooklyn apartment. I guess with everyone staying home – they’re getting to all of those projects no one ever had time for.

AND IT WAS AWESOME.

I was so impressed with what a MAN my son has truly become. At 24 years old, he’s a lot more mature and a much better host that I ever could’ve been at his age. He went all out planning the cocktail hour, giving the tour, cooking & serving the food. He even made sure my father had DECAF coffee and his favorite cookies ‘Social Teas’ for desert. And he made sure to use LIME not LEMON on my food, because he’s just so good like that. I am BEYOND proud of my son. I can’t even!

 

 

** On the school front….

We just finished the Medical Office Module. And here’s how I did:

  1. Chapter 4: Interacting with patients = 20/20 = 100%
  2. Chapter 38: Medical Records = 29/29 = 100%
  3. Chapter 39: Patient Reception = 19/20 (damn one wrong!)
  4. Chapter 41: Telephone Techniques = 20/20 = 100%
  5. Chapter 42: Scheduling Appointments = 24/25 (dammnit one wrong again!)
  6. Chapter 47: Medical Coding (NIGHTMARE) = 28/30 (thank fuck!)
  7. Chapter 48: Medical Insurance (was sooooo easy for me, but we didn’t have a separate test on this, it was just included in the final exam/ mid-term.)

For my Midterm/Final Exam for this portion of school?

 ** 97/100 **

IN YOUR FACE MEDICAL OFFICE THINGS!!

And here are my TWO favorite Facebook comments, from my daddy, after posting test scores on my profile page:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also?

Regarding school…

WE FINALLY got to attend class IN PERSON, and not on ZOOM, in REAL LIFE!

And I got to wear my scrubs, my lab coat, and my nursing shoes, and I was never so excited/happy in my entire life!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After my first day in the actual classroom, I realized, I definitely need WAY MORE practice doing ‘Clinicals’ like taking vitals (having a hard time with manual Blood Pressure and finding/hearing the Apical Pulse) so it’s a VERY good thing I have extremely supportive parents that decided to spring for my very own stethoscope and my very own blood pressure cuff. And now, all my friends are subject to me practicing on them!

And that’s a wrap.

Stay, tuned.
Take Care.

Love,
M

Posted in Family, JCH quotes, Life, Medical Assistant School, Photos | Comments Off on When You Accidentally Burn Your Mother’s Who-Ha, Taking A Trip To Brooklyn, And A Medical School Update

Technical Issues And Online School

Posted on June 15, 2020 by Meleah

So you know when you’ve started a new journey during this crazy quarantine, and you FINALLY get into a rhythm and routine, and everything is going great, and your kicking ass in school…and everything is coming up roses.

But then one day … suddenly and without warning, Zoom decides to update it’s program – which would be fine, except that your computer is SOFA KING old you can’t even “update your browser” because you’ve never even “updated your operating system” since 2007.

And now you can’t log into your virtual classroom on your computer anymore, so you start sweating and panicking because you have a test to take that night. Then you quickly download Zoom onto your cellphone – which also would have been fine, except that you haven’t updated your cellphone either since 2009, and the screen is the literally the same size as a cigarette pack, and you can’t see shit, let alone a Power Point Presentation.

Already on the verge of hysterics, that’s when you realize you can’t even take the test on your cellphone, because the teacher needs to SEE YOU taking the test, to make sure no one is cheating, but you ALSO use your cellphone for the “Course Key” app to take your tests, because once again, your computer is SOFA KING old you can’t even “update your browser” because you’ve never even “updated your operating system” since 2007 – you’re unable to download that app onto your computer. And you can’t run both apps: Zoom and Course Key on your cellphone AT THE SAME TIME.

Painfully, you come to the conclusion that you can only use your cigarette pack sized cellphone to take your tests. And then you almost start to cry. Luckily, your teacher takes mercy on you and holds up the class for an additional 15 minutes – until you can find some other device to use to log into Zoom.

That’s when you turn into the Tasmanian Devil, and start rummaging through drawers and unpacked boxes, whipping items all over your entire household, until magically finding a Samsung Tablet from 2015, which HOPEFULLY, still works. Except that it hasn’t been plugged in or charged since 2015. And the only power source you can find is literally 3 centimeters long, so now you desperately need to find an extension cord in order to turn on this god-forsaken device. So you rip through some more drawers, and now all of your kitchen utensils, dish rags, and all things inside your junk drawers are on your kitchen floor. And then your OCD goes into hyper-drive, because it looks like your house has been hit by a tornado, but you don’t have time to clean it up – BECAUSE YOU HAVE A TEST IN 15 MINUTES and you still can’t log into Zoom!!

Oh, AND THEN? Then, you’ll also need to figure out HOW TO USE THE DAMN TABLET, and you freak out some more, because you’ve never used any type of electronic device unless it’s an Apple Product.

And the air-conditioning in your shitty-garage apartment isn’t working very well, and you have to shut off the window units because they’re SO LOUD you can’t hear what your teacher/classmates are saying ON A GOOD DAY. Which makes you start sweating even more.

And right before you practically pass out from sheer exhaustion, sheer anxiety, and waiting impatiently for the tablet to come to life – you hear all sorts of dings and chimes and buzzes. But it’s a touch screen and your fingers are slimy AF from sweating, and wiping tears off your cheeks, so you can’t really scroll to the App Store on said Samsung device. Instead, you start screaming at it, “voice to text style” until Zoom appears on the screen and you’re able to download it.

Then, immediately, in your other hand, you have to grab your cellphone again, and scroll to your ‘Notes’ to look up your UserId and Password, because you have way too many different UserId’s and Passwords, for way too many internet sites, apps, emails, and programs  – and who the hell can remember ANY of those?

After an intense twenty minutes, filled extreme anxiety, you’re finally able to join your virtual classroom.

But now…you have to use “Google Classrooms” on your computer, “Course Key” on your cellphone, and “Zoom” on your tablet.

AND HOLY MOTHER MARY & JOSEPH… YOU NEED 3 FUCKING DEVICES (IN ALL DIFFERENT SIZES) JUST TO ATTEND ONLINE CLASSES!! AND YOU REALLY WISH YOU COULD SIMPLY WALK INTO A CLASSROOM, LIKE NORMAL. BECAUSE THIS SUDDENLY BECAME EXTREMELY ANNOYING AND YOUR SUPER FRUSTRATED. But you need to calm the fuck down, because you’re already late, and held up your classmates long enough, and it’s time to take that test!!

Ever happen to you?

No?

Me either.

 

Anyway … Speaking of tests …

 

Here are my latest scores:

Chapter 19: Vital Signs – it was a huge chapter so we had two tests on two different days = 29/30 & 29/30

Chapter 20: Physical Examination = 29/30

Chapter 21: Eye & Ear Assessments & Procedures = 23/25

Chapter 22: Physical Agents; Tissue Health = we didn’t have a test on this chapter it was just included in the Midterm/Final Exam.

Chapter 23: OBGYN = 40/40 (FINALLY 100%)

Chapter 24: Pediatric Exam = we didn’t have a test on this chapter either it was also included in the Midterm/Final Exam.

And on my Midterm/Final Exam for “Patient Care Technician”??

96/100!

BOOYAH!!

 

And that’s all for now, folks!

Stay Tuned.

Love,
M

Posted in Apple, Drama Drama, Humor, Life, Medical Assistant School, Technology | Comments Off on Technical Issues And Online School

Too Much Studying!

Posted on May 20, 2020 by Meleah

First …

I am THRILLED to announce, I scored 90/100 – on  my “Mid-Term” / “Final Exam” for Chapters 5-16 last night! It was SOFA KING HARD I would have been happy with an 80! I am very proud of myself. And this just makes me want to keep studying harder and harder.

However …

Apparently, I’ve been studying way too much because I just read the photo below like this:

“May all that has been reduced to NOSE in you, become MUCOUS again” …..

 

 

So, yeah. I am looooooooooooooooooooooooosing it!

That is all  for now.
Carry on.

Love,
M

Posted in Life, Links, Medical Assistant School | Comments Off on Too Much Studying!

School / Life: General Update

Posted on May 17, 2020 by Meleah

Thankfully, things over here have been going very well!

Except for that one day – when I was searching all over my house looking for my cellphone WHILE I WAS ON FACETIME ON MY CELLPHONE!

Anywhoooooo …

I’ve been seeing my parents every week, twice a week, and I always leave their house with an arm full of groceries, paper products, and a few dollars in my pocket. Our relationship is better than ever and I could not be happier.

Thanks, Mom & Dad!

Mother’s Day 2020, oddly enough, was one of THE BEST Mother’s Day I’ve had in YEARS – with the exception of the Mother’s Day when my son, Justin, graduated Rutgers. It was also my son’s 24th birthday. How did that happen? I don’t fucking know.

We had a family ZOOM video conference with: my mom & dad, Justin & his girlfriend, Claudia, my Uncle Rick & his husband, Jeff. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed, for TWO HOURS. And it was AWESOME. We got to sing OUR “family version of the birthday song” to Justin. And we watched Justin – who’s becoming a sommelier – slice off the top of a champagne bottle off with the sword/saber that my mother bought for his present. And then I had a fabulous dinner with my parents at their house.

 

 

On The School Front…

Classes are KICKING MY ASS!

Kicking. My. Ass.

After we finished the ‘Medical Terms’ book – I took the Final Exam, chapters 1-5, and I scored 98/100! Which was NOT fucking easy! YAY ME!

Since then – we’ve been plowing through so many chapters, and so many different topics, and so many different body parts, at lightening speed.

It is a SHIT-TON of information, which can be quite difficult at times. The second we’re done with one system, we take a test, and then we IMMEDIATELY move onto the next system/topic/chapter.

Here is a list of my test scores and the systems I’ve learned so far…

* Chapter 5: Anatomy & Physiology (Human anatomy = The scientific study of the shape and structure of the human body and the relationship of its parts. Physiology = The scientific study of the functions of the human body and its parts.)

* Chapter 6: Integumentary System (Made up of skin, glands, hair, & nails. The subcutaneous layer is below the skin – because the prefix sub means “below” – is a sheet of areolar connective tissue and adipose tissue (a.k.a. fat) beneath the dermis of the skin; a.ka. hypodermis or superficial fascia. But, um, like WHY does everything have to have multiple different “a.k.a” words for the same thing? VERY ANNOYING. Pick a LANE medical community. Pick ONE friggen word for ONE friggen part and stick with it!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY!!)

I took a combined test for Chpts 5 & 6 = 38/40 (Not too shabby!)

* Chapter 7: Skeletal System = 20/20 = 100% (The knee bone (patella) connected to the thighbone (femur). The thighbones (femur) connected to the hipbone (os coxae). The hipbones (os coxae) connected to the backbone (vertebral column). The back bones (vertebral column) connected to the shoulder bone (scapula) ect..ect..ect..) Yet another example of too many words for the same body parts!)

* Chapter 9: Nervous System = 17/20 (And I got that shitty score because I was sick AF with bronchitis when I took that test. And I am STILL REALLY UPSET over getting a B+! And just in case you were wondering … your cerebrum is the largest part of your brain and your cerebellum is the 2nd largest part of your brain. And there is a whole lot of grey matter and white matter all up in there.)

* Chapter 10: Sensory System = 19/20 (Yay! I’m back to getting A’s! Also? The next time you cry, just know your ‘lacrimal apparatus’ is working very hard to make tears. And ‘cerumen’ is just a really fancy word for earwax.)

* Chapter 11: Endocrine System = 20/20 = 100% (The endocrine system is my bitch! Your endocrine glands secrete its product directly into the blood while the exocrine glands secrete its product onto a surface or another cavity through various ducts. And your adrenal glands are like SUPER important. And they’re located above your kidneys.)

* Chapter 13: Respiratory System = 18/19 (The section on the lungs; specifically the function of ‘cilia’ – scared the crap out of me and forced me to cut down on smoking – a little – for like two days. The lungs are located in your thoracic cavity and are surrounded by the double layer membrane known as the plura. Also? ‘Ventilation’ is just a fancy a word for breathing – BECAUSE CLEARLY THE MEDICAL WORLD CAN’T JUST USE ONE FUCKING WORD, Y’ALL!!)

* Chapter 14: Digestive System = 33/33 = 100% (Holler at this 30-foot-super-complicated-system and 35-page chapter! Thanks to Crohn’s disease I had a teeny-tiny ‘head-start’ on SOME of this information, but I had NO IDEA your medulla oblongata (long stem-like structure which makes up part of the brainstem) had anything to do with digestion! Also? The word “MASTICATING” means “to chew” and that term will make me laugh for the rest of my life!)

* Chapter 15: Urinary System = 14/15 (Um, yeah. The kidneys are out of control, like a series of connected crazy straws. The word “Micturition” means to urinate and so does “voiding.” Because why have ONE WORD that means peeing when we can have 15!! Also? Rugae are folds in your bladder that allow it to expand & the detrusor (smooth muscle) contracts to expel urine. You’re welcome.)

* Chapter 16: Reproductive System = 24/25 (I have NEVER wanted to know THIS MUCH about sperm, or how it’s made, or what’s going on “down there” inside of a lady – in my fucking life! And HOLY tricky. Because mitosis and meiosis are two TOTALLY different cell divisions – and listening to my teacher online in zoom classes with a heavy-duty-thick-Indian-accent say those words sounds the EXACT same …so first I have to de-code what she’s saying and then I have to figure out what cell division is actually happening.)

I’m not gunna lie; I get SOFA KING mad whenever I get that ONE question wrong! It’s like I’d almost rather get 2 wrong! And then I sulk for like an hour. And then I have to get the fuck over it and move on the fuck on because ain’t nobody got time to pout when there is so much to learn!

Also?

When class ends, my cerebrum is so over-stimulated I can’t sleep for a few hours. Mostly, because I lay in bed thinking about WHY I can’t sleep!

EXAMPLE?

You know when you feel “overtired” & you’ve been “over-studying” & you pass the point of being tired that you literally can’t fall asleep? Thanks a lot hypothalamus (Located at the base of your brain; above the pituitary gland— inside the temporal lobe.) The sleep-wake cycle is regulated by two opposing processes; the circadian rhythm and the homeostatic drive for sleep.

  1. The nervous and endocrine systems control homeostasis in the body …. to maintain a stable internal environment despite changes in external conditions …. through feedback; negative & positive mechanisms — involving various organs and organ systems.
  2. The circadian rhythm is set by the “suprachiasmatic nucleus” of the hypothalamus, which regulates the sleep-wake cycle.

 

And then, one day, I laughed so hard I almost choked. But instead of dying, I thought about this…

I swallowed down the “wrong pipe.” And seltzer is coming out of my nose! And by “wrong pipe” I mean … my uvula and my epiglottis have failed!

Uvula = (hanging in back of your throat – AKA pharynx — in the hard palete) to keep food & water out of your nasopharynx (nasal cavity).

Epiglottis = (behind the tongue & on-top of larynx — in your soft palete) prevents food from entering the windpipe (trachea) and lungs. It’s open during breathing, allowing air into the larynx (voice box).

So, yeah.

That’s how it’s going over here.

One last thing …

I have a huge – FUCKING HUGE – ‘Final Exam’ coming up on Tuesday 05/19/2020. And I am nervous as all hell, because it’s on ALL OF THE CHAPTERS I LISTED ABOVE – IN ONE TEST.

Soooooo ….

If I am “off-the-grid” for the next few days, NO NEED TO WORRY. I am just drowning in 8 billion flashcards and studying my FACE OFF! Limited phone & social media time while I’m preparing for this exam. Because quite frankly, I didn’t even know what chapter 5 WAS until I started writing this blog post!

Wish me luck, mofo’s!!

That’s all for now.

Stay Tuned.

Love,
M

Posted in Family, Holidays, JCH quotes, Medical Assistant School, Photos | Comments Off on School / Life: General Update

Update On My – Job/School/Life – Situation

Posted on April 24, 2020 by Meleah

Y’all know I was VERY concerned about taking so much time off work [which can be read found by clicking HERE] mostly for two reasons.

  1. I didn’t want to get fired.
  2. I was afraid I would go on a downward spiral.

Luckily?
My fears have been alleviated.

And here’s why …

My beautiful-darling-overprotective-overbearing-loving-Jewish-Italian mother holds me accountable for maintaining my daily routine by making me call her every single morning, before 9am. And if I don’t? She blows up my phone like a drill sergeant – with incessant calls/texts/emails. I swear to God she even figured out how to UNSILENCE my cell-phone, even if it’s turned OFF.

** And I’ve never appreciated THAT as much as I do at this very moment!!! **

I am also extremely grateful to my friends: Kristy, Jennifer, Claudia, Amy The Bartender, Mike & Suzy Mazz, Coach Ickes, Dr. Dugan, John B, Junk-Drawer-Kathy (yeah, I’m looking at you Frederick) – just to name a few – for checking in on me, worrying about me, supporting me, FaceTiming, texting, calling, bringing food & toilet paper & school supplies, and for keeping me safe and sane – all while cheering me on studying #BestTeamEver

I genuinely LOVE all that you’ve done for me. I will be ETERNALLY grateful.

Now, let’s get down to business.

As far as my work/job is concerned:

After a horrible bout of bronchitis this past week, obviously my doctor had no choice but to keep me out of work, for another two weeks, and he really didn’t want me back in the building while there are still active COVID-19 cases – especially since MY sickness could make THEM even worse.

According to the excerpt below, from a letter I received from corporate, I am no longer employed. But I might be able to re-apply for a new job…or even my old job – at the same location – once things settle down.

“Your job is not protected under blah blah law and you haven’t been a full-time employee for 12 months. Your leave began on 04/08 through 04/22. If you’re unable to return to work after 04/22 we will be unable to hold your position any longer. When your situation resolves, you may apply for any positions at our company, at the same location, that you’re qualified to fill.”

While I am FAR from financially wealthy/independent and I definitely NEED a paycheck – I’m just going to have to worry about that later.

Because truthfully?
I don’t know if I am able to handle working and attending classes. At the same time.

Speaking of school:

I am taking the accelerated course. It normally takes TWO YEARS to learn what I am trying to learn in just SEVEN MONTHS.

So far, I’ve gotten all A’s with the exception of one B. And that was simply because I was sick AF with foggy brains – yet I still pushed though studying and attended my online classes. Nevertheless, I was REALLY pissed off/upset about getting that grade, even though it was really a B+.

Needless to say, school has gotten much more intense than I ever expected.

It’s fascinating.
It’s challenging.
It’s interesting.
But …. it’s a bit overwhelming.

Thankfully, I currently live alone and I am not bothered with any distractions or interruptions, nor do I need to take care of anyone else. I am able to laser focus and concentrate. Seriously, I would legit MURDER anyone that got in my way right now. And besides, there’s no room inside my tiny-shitty-garage-apartment – because my house looks like a classroom THREW UP all over it. Every thing, in every room, is COVERED with notebooks, index cards, highlighters, sticky notes, pens, pencils, markers, colored tabs, gigantic books, computers, binder clips, ect.

 

The ONLY downside to living alone is that I am forgetting to eat, because I’m so busy studying, I lose track of time. By the time I realize class is about to start … I choke down a few cookies, or a butterscotch krimpet, purely for sugar energy! It would be nice if someone would just bring me a plate of food – twice a day – ALREADY cooked that didn’t require any action (including cleaning) on my end!

But since that’s not happening, I’ve been living off bowls of potato chips, Mac N Cheese, the occasional can of tuna, and Ramen noodles – like a kid in college. Except that I’m 45! Not 20! Probably not the healthiest nutritional choices. And also probably why I got that one B test score – I didn’t eat until 10pm when class was OVER.

Sooo…I’ve decided I have to set another alarm on my phone simply to remind me to EAT FOOD. And to STAND UP stretch my legs, back & neck.

And that’s about all for now.

Stay. Tuned.

Love,
M

(PS: Yes I am writing this blog post at 3am – because I have insomnia – because I can’t shut off my brain. And I needed to get this OUT of my head. And Friday is my “BRAIN BREAK DAY” – so I actually CAN sleep in, until 10am. DON’T WORRY MOM!!)

 

 

 

 

Posted in Assisted Living, Family, Friends, Life, Medical Assistant School, Photos, Single Life, Strong Medicine, Work | Comments Off on Update On My – Job/School/Life – Situation

My Current Dilemma

Posted on April 17, 2020 by Meleah

Y’all know how much I love my job.

And y’all know how much I’ve grown and changed over the past nine months BECAUSE of my job.

Since I started working at the Assisted Living Facility, I’ve come to learn that function sooooo much better when I have structure and stability. Not to mention how much I love my coworkers and the residents. I’m the type of person that needs to be needed. And boy, do I feel needed and important at work! Plus its really nice having a steady paycheck.

However, due to my compromised auto immune health conditions, and the fact that we’ve had several deaths and there are still multiple active COVID-19 residents inside the building … my doctor really does NOT want me to return to work until the pandemic is over, or at least until there’s nothing active inside the assisted living facility, for 16 days.

And that might be problematic.

I’m afraid that if I do not return to work, especially during this crisis, I may NOT have a job waiting for me when everything finally returns to “normal” … whenever the hell that may be. My immediate boss said there would be nothing he could do to ‘protect’ me – if corporate decides to let me go for not being there when they needed me the most.

I’m also worried if I stop my routine where; I get up, take a shower, get dressed, do my hair & makeup, and spend my time at work socializing — all while burning off my OCD anxiety — that I might spiral down the tubes again.

And that simply cannot happen.

I’ve come WAY too far to fuck up again.
And I’ve come WAY too far to go back to my old ways.

 

** Herein lies my dilemma.

 

  1. Should I ignore my doctors recommendation and go back to work – to keep my job, and maintain my routine and keep my paycheck so I can support myself while I’m also in school?

On the one hand, I think – I am going to school to become a Medical Assistant. Aren’t I going to be exposed to stuff like this after I graduate anyway? So what’s the difference if I went back to work next week, as opposed to being on the frontlines 7 months from now? And I’m going into this field because I want to take care of people who are sick! I want to help people!

 

Or…

 

  1. Do I take my chances and listen to my doctor – and if I get fired, I get fired – I’ll figure something out eventually, and at least I’ll be able to continue studying?

And then I think – Seven months from now, we could have a vaccine, and I would NOT be exposed to COVID-19 like I would be TODAY if I went back to work. And when I graduate and get a real job – my goal is to work in a cardiologist office, or for a geriatric doctors office, because I love the elderly so very much. But there is a VERY big difference between working in a doctor’s office as opposed to working in a nursing home. And there’s a VERY big difference regarding “exposure” … running EKG’s all day is NOT the same as scrubbing infected fecal matter from toilets.

 

** So I feel VERY torn!! **

 

And then there’s this for me to consider …

The one good thing about not working right now is that its afforded me the proper amount of time that I truly need to study, do my homework, and write my papers. I am getting FANTASTIC grades, ALL A’s, because I am able to dedicate every day to learning.

I have SO MUCH information coming at me – and so quickly – I don’t know if I would be as successful as I am, or able to manage my time correctly, while still working. And I am able to have ‘self-care’ and ‘brain-break’ days so I don’t burn myself out.

I think if I tried to keep up with working so hard and studying so hard, I would run myself into the ground and end up having flare-ups, or getting sick, which would give me anxiety, which would exacerbate my sickness/flare-up and then I would fall behind, and stress myself out, and that would NOT be healthy for me WHATSOEVER.

So, yeah.

I think just writing this, helped me process what I should do.
Blogging has always been my therapy.

I think I am going to accept my doctors advice.
Besides, if I went back to work, I think my parents would kill me BEFORE the Corona.

If y’all could just keep your fingers crossed that when this nightmare IS over, I will still have my job at the Assisted Living Facility.

Thanks for listening.

Stay tuned.

Love,
M

Posted in Assisted Living, Life, Links, Medical Assistant School, Strong Medicine, Work | Comments Off on My Current Dilemma