Unfortunately, I have received some upsetting news. I am currently trying to figure out how to handle / process and deal with this situation.
If you remember a few months back, I was moved to the ‘Customer Service Department’ in my office as a CSR Assistant. While I felt like the biggest outsider and even though I was extremely hesitant, I did it as a FAVOR to my boss. And I did my ‘new job’ well. (Maybe too well.)
Eventually I even came to terms with sitting at this desk holding on to the promise and understanding this was going to be a temporary situation. I was ONLY at this desk to lend a hand while Betty was out on disability for her injured knee.
Over the last few weeks there were rumors circulating around my office that I might be asked forced to stay in this ‘new’ position. Except that move would make me feel as if I had been painfully demoted after working so hard over the last six years.
Yet, even with those rumors punching me in the face, I chose to hang on to a tiny little sliver of hope those were just rumors.
Alas, this week, I was officially notified by The ‘Powers That Be’ those rumors are true. As it turns out, even when Betty does return to our office, I will be remaining right here forever. Maybe even longer.
I will NOT be returning to my previous position within my company. Ever. The good old days in my office filled with these kinds of duties have now been replaced with doing this…
Processing mail. And by ‘processing mail’ I mean, I spend my entire day: opening envelopes, taking out insurance polices, checking our computer filing system to make sure our information matches the information and coverage’s on the policy. Then I have the pleasure of punching holes in the policies, re-assembling the paperwork with metal fasteners, and sending out the insured’s copy. In the event the information in our client management system does not coincide with the information on the policy, I get to play detective in order to figure out which one of us has ‘The Right’ information.
Sound boring? Yeah. Well. That’s because it is. Mind-numbing even.
Since I’ve been working at this desk, I often imagine lighting myself on fire and running out of this building screaming just to feel alive again at the end of the work day.
This place has been slowly and methodically *crushing* My Soul.
And to top things off, when I finally am free from this desk, I have to drive on this whore of a highway to get home.
[Anyone want to switch jobs?]
Maybe I am cranky, full of attitude, moody, and bitchy, because in the face of Cold Hard Reality? I am TRAPPED here.
Why? Well, for a few reasons.
I really need my health benefits. Thanks to those annoying medical conditions I have manage on a daily basis.
And in all honesty, I cannot imagine for a millisecond, any other employer dealing with, or putting up with, the amount of time I have to: call out, take off, come in late, or leave early, due to the aforementioned annoying medical conditions.
When I had ‘The Closed Door Meeting’ and ‘The Bomb Was Dropped’ informing me of my future duties as a paper-pushing-processor, it was also made crystal clear to me that this position has been given to me as a gift.
And. Unfortunately, that is all true.
Which leaves me with little to no options.
I am going to try my very best to process these new turn of events as quickly as possible. But, I would like to apolgize in advance if this might take a little longer than a week to “get over it.”
Until I can figure out how to start “Accepting” my circumstances…I might just stay cranky, full of attitude, moody, and bitchy, since I feel suffocated, strangled, pinned against a wall, and horribly trapped.
