Momma Mia, Mea Culpa

[For those of you that read this blog, and have no idea what is going on over at Facebook, there is nothing for you to see here today. Please try again another day and hopefully you will find a post that is relevant.]

As the ‘Facebook Saga’ continues, my personal profile page still remains disabled.

It is as if I never existed on Facebook.

Everything I have ever written, or posted, or commented on, as Meleah Rebeccah Hawthorne, has been removed.

According to a poorly written email from FBHQ, this happened in part due to my so-called ‘excessive commenting’ and because I was writing too fast on too many walls.

You see, after Facebook hijacked my commenting rights, I harassed them with a barrage of unpleasant emails. Eventually, ‘The Powers That Be’ re-instated my commenting abilities.

For all of eight hours.

And yes, during that glorious eight-hour span, I took full advantage of my new-found freedom of speech.

Only to have my account completely Shut Down.

Yeah. Sorry Facebook, but I did have over 400 concerned friends that needed immediate replies. Excuse me for answering everyone! And excuse me for answering everyone in a timely manner.

Maybe YOU should try being so efficient. Because no matter how many sweet, kind, or polite messages I have emailed you, I just keep getting the same automated response:

Hi, The Facebook Team has received your inquiry. We should get back to you soon. In the meantime, we encourage you to review our Terms of Use for more information.
Thanks for contacting Facebook,
The Facebook Team

Um.

Okay.

I have reviewed your Terms Of Use.

Can I have my account back now?

No?

[sigh]

On the one hand, I fully appreciate the need to have certain rules and regulation in place to prevent spammers from taking over. I totally respect that. Although, it would be nice if you could be a little less vague when explaining why or how a person gets banned in the first place. Yanno, like if you were to include details such as how many posts and/or comments one could leave, or if they were subject to time intervals.

Just sayin’.

On the other hand, to punish someone and sentence them to a lifetime of Involuntary Solitude, simply for interacting socially with their friends, is quite an injustice.

In any event, since I have been terribly unsuccessful in restoring my own profile page, I called upon my “Twin Sister” named “Mia Rebecca Baldwin” who has been nice enough to create a Facebook page.

[Honestly, it’s the least she can do, considering she stole the love of my life when she married Alec Baldwin.]

Anyway, like I was saying my Twin Sister has been doing her best to add MY friends to her page. But, apparently, the Facebook Gestapo has limits for that too. ‘Mia’ has already received three warnings claiming she was engaging in behavior that ‘others may consider abusive’.

Right. Um. Not really sure I understand that when half the time people get to ‘suggest friends’ to others.

And speaking of things that don’t make any sense, I’m pretty sure ‘The Powers That Be’ over at Facebook Head Quarters are aware of the feature they installed wherein you can ‘HIDE’ someone’s incessant ‘Status Updates’ from your news feed/home page, if they are in fact annoying. Not to mention, we as users also have the ability to block people when it is deemed appropriate.

I don’t need Facebook to remove people, or block people for me. If I found someone to be a nuisance, I am capable of handling that myself.  And, I think my friends are smart enough to do the same.

I am beside myself and filled with frustration.

I just feel terrible, since some of my friends have been feeling slighted and neglected by me. I am utterly powerless since I [and by ‘I’, I mean ‘Mia’] cannot add them as friends.

I can’t stand being in the dark, cut off, and shut out, AGAINST MY WILL.

Therefore, I will continue my diligent petition via emails, phone calls, and possible bomb threats, until MY own page is reactivated. In the meantime, I appreciate all of your consideration and patience during this difficult time.

UPDATE:

IT APPEARS AS IF MELEAH REBECCAH HAWTHORNE’S FACEBOOK PAGE IS ONCE AGAIN FULLY FUNCTIONAL. HOWEVER, ‘MIA’ WIL STILL BE ADDDING ALL OF MELEAH’S FRIENDS TO HER PAGE, JUST INCASE THIS EVER HAPPENS AGAIN. HOOOOOOOORAY. THE TRAGEDY IS OVER.