Yes, I promised you all a new, fascinating, and worthy blog post. And, you will be happy to hear that I am working on that – Right Now!
[insert collective round of applause.]
However, since I am ‘out of practice’ so to speak, I probably won’t finish that new and spectacular blog post until Sunday-Monday –ish.
[insert collective sighs.]
But… in the meantime, I’d like to share with ya’ll what I think is one of the Funniest Blog Posts [complete with a ‘Must See’ video] that I have read/seen in a long time.
Seriously, if you need a good laugh, just click THIS LINK and enjoy!
Apparently, I have become a very bad blogger. And what’s even worse? I’ve become a terrible Internet Friend. I am not even going to try and apologize anymore! But, please forgive me anyway?
Okay people not to brag or anything, but my 35th birthday was nothing short of magnificent.
Seriously.
I started my day around 10:30am and logged into Facebook, just like I do every morning. Only on this day, my home page was filled with the most loving, kind, and funniest birthday wishes from ‘The Best Friends In The World.’ So thank you, to everyone, for that.
I also want to thank all of YOU – my dear readers, for the most excellent, awesome, and kick-ass comments on my last post. Aside from understanding my boyfriends position on privacy, your birthday wishes made my day all the more special. I feel like the ‘Luckiest Woman Alive’. [Oh, and I am happy to report, my boyfriend already seems to be coming around and is warming up to the idea of having SOME things posted on my blog.]
I finally got myself together around noon, by drinking a pot of fresh brewed coffee and taking a hot shower, before my mother and I headed over to the dreaded mall for some new clothes shopping. I don’t know what it is about the mall, or shopping in general, but I am just not one of those women who ‘Love To Shop’. In fact, I despise clothes shopping.
And by despise I mean – I would rather set my self on fire and shove bamboo sticks underneath my fingernails than stand underneath those horrid florescent lights, surrounded by mirrors, that only seem to magnify every flaw I try my very best to ignore.
However, I recently decided now that I am a so-called ‘Grown Up’, maybe I should start dressing a little bit more like a ‘Lady’, and not so much like a ‘Rebellious Teenager’.
Luckily, I discovered ‘Old Navy’ had some pretty sweet deals on some clothes that I actually liked. I am a huge fan of sweater vests, but only when said sweater vests ate worn properly by women. And I especially love sweater vests that have patterns made of diamonds in a diagonal checkerboard arrangement. Because in my opinion? No one can own too much argyle.
Thankfully, my shopping experience was a lot less painful than I had anticipated. Much to my surprise, I scored a few items I will enjoy wearing. And these very articles of clothing are also age-appropriate! It was a win-win situation.
Upon returning home, I was greeted by my totally super awesome 13-year-old son. JCH announced [with a straight face] there was an ‘Emergency Situation’ in my bedroom that needed my ‘Immediate Attention’. When I asked him what he was talking about, he maintained complete seriousness and said, “Mom, you really need to see this for yourself.” Of course, like most parents, I immediately imagined ‘The Worst Case Scenario’.
I raced up the hallways stairs, tripping over the bags of clothes falling from my arms. I tried to brace myself before opening the door by taking one deep breath and wishing on the off chance for some ‘Surprise Good News’.
And, guess what?
There was a ‘good surprise’ on the other side of my bedroom door.
Neatly placed on my bedside table, I saw one dozen Red Roses, in a glass vase, with a big red bow. My heart skipped a beat when I read the card. These beautiful flowers were so unexpected I almost got teary eyed.
Okay.
I lied.
Of course I was teary eyed, and sappy, and all kinds of mushy like.
[Don’t judge!]
You see, ‘The New Man In My Life’, was away on a business trip. Unsure if he would even be able to make it back to New Jersey on time to celebrate with me, he made sure I knew he was thinking of me. And even though we had talked and texted all day long, I certainly had no idea there would be flowers waiting for me at home!
[I would like to take this moment and say, “Well Done” to my son, for helping Sonny pull-off such a lovely surprise.]
As I proceeded to ‘get ready’ to have dinner with My Family, I tried on several different new outfits before finally deciding on my favorite, old, faded, blue jeans and one new sweater. While I originally planned on getting all sorts of ‘decked out’ for my birthday, I opted for comfort instead. And man I’m glad I did.
My dear friend whom I love more than words can ever express, otherwise known as ‘Amy The Bartender [Who Plays Tennis But Is Not Ranked, And Who Has A REALLY Long “Title” That I Can’t ALWAYS Post] went above and beyond the call of duty to ensure my party was a totally super fantastic.
Besides the fact that she made sure everyone told me, “My Hair Looked Spectacular” that evening [for reasons that will take another blog post entirely to explain] I don’t know if I will ever be able to thank her enough – just for the billions of cupcakes she spent five hours baking!
When I arrived at the my favorite place in the world [known famously on this blog as KHCC] I was welcomed warmly with hugs, and kisses, and happy birthday’s from my friends, along with the staff.
I was touched to see the bar area in the dining room had been decorated with balloons, and a princess crowns [much more befitting a five year old] thanks to good ole’ Nightingale! Ah, yes, do ya’ll remember Nightingale. If not, please click here! It just wouldn’t have been a birthday celebration without her.
One by one my favorite ladies & gents started to arrive:
[Um. Yeah. I know. I look like I am about 10 years old here. But, I am liking how TAN my face is!]
[Left to Right: Christine, Denise, Cindy, Norma, Meleah, Debson, Arlene, Amy The Bartender & Linda]
[Left to Right: Melissa, Denise, Debson, Donna, Amy The Bartender, Norma, Meleah & Maidie. And yes, we do kind of look like we are about to have a Slumber Party!]
[Left to Right: Norma, Mike, Maidie, Flipster, Meleah, MY DAD, Jay, David.]
[Left to Right, Denise, Maidie, Meleah, Debson, MY MOM, & Norma]
And then something happened, I will NEVER forget – for the rest of my life.
My friend Joanie and her partner Carmine [whom I often refer to as my ‘Other Parents’] presented me with yet another FABULOUS Surprise.
When it was time for my Birthday Cake, I was called away from the bar where all of my friends were, and I was directed to stand ‘Front And Center’ of the dinning room.
Unbeknownst to me, my friend Carmine has been singing ‘Acapella’ in a ‘Barber Shop Quartet’ for years. And, they just happened to be at KHCC that evening.
I was deeply touched by this moment:
[Of course while they were singing, I stood there sobbing and sweating profusely.]
Speaking of Birthday Cake, one of my other ‘Favorite Women’, who I will refer to as ‘The Woman Who Is Totally Super Photogenic In Every Single Picture, Otherwise Known As Debson’ slaved over a hot stove while baking not ONE, but TWO, Birthday Cakes for me!
[Where the hell and what the hell am I looking at in this photo?]
I blew out my candles, I opened my presents, and I thanked everyone from the bottom of my heart.
Eventually the festivities began to wind down, and the evening was coming to a close when I walked outside to smoke a cigarette with some friends.
I was busy patting myself on the back for carving out the kind of life I can finally feel proud of. I’ve undergone a monumental transformation this past year. And I know I am blessed to have such wonderful friends and such a loving family.
Then…
All Of A Sudden…
‘The Best Surprise’ of the evening occurred.
The ‘Love Of My Life’ walked through the door!
Sonny had made it back from Baltimore [in record time – plus one speeding ticket] just to be with me on my birthday.
The second I saw him out of the corner of my eye, I threw my cigarette down on the concrete, accidentally knocked over a few people, and darted inside the building. We wrapped our arms around each other, and could not hug tight enough. And I simply melted. I mean, just look at my face. Could I be any happier? I think not.
Sonny and I stayed at KHCC until closing along with Amy The Bartender and a few of my other friends. I have to say it was The Best, Most Satisfying, Happiest Birthday – I’ve Had – In YEARS!
[** The complete set of Photos for My 35th Birthday can be found by clicking here. ** ]
When all was said and done, Sonny whisked me away, and the two of us spent the next four days together.
Over the course of the long weekend, we had a wonderful time together. Friday we spent the day alone, simply enjoying each other’s company. On Saturday, we drove out to Pennsylvania to celebrate My Nephew’s 2nd Birthday with my Brother Adam and his wife Traci. Sonny even got to meet my ever so famous grandmother: Evelyn.
[**The complete set of Photos for My Nephew’s 2nd Birthday can be found by clicking here.**]
Sadly, by Sunday morning, I was really sick. And I am the biggest baby when I don’t feel good. I had such a bad headache, a sore throat, a runny & stuffy nose, and a heavy cough. Fortunately, Sonny is an excellent caretaker. He went to the store and came back wielding bags full of medications, tissues, and all things necessary for someone with a cold. But the sweetest thing of all – was when he made soup for me.
I realize that making soup for someone is not exactly what you’d call a ‘Grand Romantic Gesture’. Unless, its been made by the man who loves you enough to personally take out all of the carrots because he knows you are allergic to them.
And that my friends, is the SHORT version of my Birthday Weekend Celebration.
PS: “Hi” Seth & Laurie!!!
Seth, I think your little chat with our guy worked! Sonny is 100% okay with having this out on ‘The Internet’. If only for your benefit! Oh yeah, just one more thing. Over the weekend I was also sworn into the coveted, historical, alpha-male dominated society, and I was asked to enter the sanctimonious circle of trust. Scouts Honor.
I finally figured out what’s been stopping me from posting regularly.
Since I started this blog almost four years ago, I’ve never really thought too much about censoring anything I write.
Sure, I have had to omit certain things out of respect for other people. I’ve definitely changed names to protect the not-so innocent. And there was that one time, long ago in a far away galaxy, when I almost got fired from my job, for writing about work.
But for the most part, I’ve been known to share way too much information. I’ve posted quite a few things [and lots of photos] most people would find embarrassing. Clearly, I have no problem being open and brutally honest. And quite frankly, I have no shame.
[Oh elusive dignity, wherefore art thou?]
But, I would also like to believe that is the very reason I have made so many personal and close friendships with you fine people.
I guess it takes a little nerve, a slice of crazy, and a healthy dose of narcissism to lay your whole life out here on the world-wide-web for everyone to see. And that works for me.
[Wait a second. I just sounded almost exactly like this guy. Great. Just when was trying to find MY OWN VOICE again!]
Anyway, like I was saying [or trying to say] is that what may work for me, does not always work for everyone.
And I respect that.
Which brings me to the point.
The real reason I haven’t posted lately is because I know ‘The New Man’ I am dating is not exactly used to having his life publicized. It’s not that he is shy, not by any stretch of the imagination. He also has no issues whatsoever when it comes to sharing everything with me. However, I don’t think he is quite ready to have particulars surrounding the intimacy of our relationships broadcast across The Internet or splashed on Blog Pages. At least not yet.
So while I would love to sit here and regale you with tales of ‘All Things Romantic’ and possibly even bore to you to death with incessant gushing, I’ve decided to table that subject temporarily.
BUT.
Rest. Assured.
I am not going to change the way I am, or the way I write this blog.
M’kay?
Of course, now that I figured out what I was holding back [and moreover why I was holding back] my so-called annoying case of writer’s block has been lifted.
Issue. Resolved.
The latest problem I am facing?
I’ve been sitting here [for several hours] trying to conjure up new ideas from the bottom of the topic barrel. However, since I’ve been spending most of my time with him? Sadly, I don’t have much else to write about.
I haven’t even been home over the last few weeks, long enough for me to scrape together anything about my father. And we all know that man is constantly providing a plethora of blog ideas, topics, and serious raw material to work with.
Alas, I simply cannot continue to drive myself any crazier, while searching for a fabulous new way on how to spin the story of my bedroom curtains into a ‘riveting read’!
Instead, I will just say, “Happy 35th Birthday To Me.”
Yanno.
Since I will be thirty-five years old.
Tomorrow.
[Thursday. October 8th.]
[Oh, by the way, does anyone know if that age qualifies me as a ‘Cougar’ now? Because if that IS the case? I’d rather turn 34. Again. And maybe even for the next few years.]
PS: I promise to start paying attention to the little things in life again, so next week I should have an actual story to share with ya’ll.
Im writing ‘just to write’ – because quite frankly, I haven’t written a word in WAY TOO LONG. And, I am finding it difficult to transfer my thoughts into words on paper. However, I HAVE TO write SOMETHING so I am pounding the keys on my Apple just to see what comes out.
I have a few drafts and ideas sitting in the dashboard of my blog and I hate looking at unfinished posts. I’ve tried to complete them, but I am not sure what angle I am going for. I seem to have lost ‘my voice’.
Does that make any sense?
I keep going back and forth between first person and third person. I keep deleting and rewriting. I keep editing, and adding, and altering, and changing my words. And yet – I remain dissatisfied
So, this is what I do when I don’t know what ELSE to do.
I babble. And blither. And ramble. Until I can unlock my brain from this apparent case of atrophy.
I remember when I used to look at every single situation in my life as possible blog material. And I became quite good at relaying the mundane details of the simplest things in life such as the traffic, coupled with a classic twist of humor. And right now, I’m sitting on my favorite barstool, in my favorite place on earth – drawing a blank.
It’s not that I DON’T have material to work with. Because I do. In fact, I think I have too much blog material to work with and it’s clogging my thought process. I can’t seem pick one idea to write about and STAY on topic.
For instance:
I’d love to tell you MORE about: ‘The Surprise Blind Date Guy – Who Turned Out To Be Totally Super Awesome, Otherwise Known As Putty From Seinfeld [Only SMARTER] Or, Simply ‘SONNY’ For Short.’
Because I have SO MUCH to talk about.
I’d love to tell you the story behind the new brakes on my car, because that COULD be hilarious.
And, I’d love to tell you a little story about Amy The Bartender and her new obsession with golfing and a phone call she made to Lou The Golf Pro.
But, I can’t seem to clear my head!
And it’s DRIVING ME CRAZY.
Maybe just writing THIS will open my mind enough to figure out WHAT to write and HOW to write it.
Because I learned A LONG TIME AGO…
It’s never The Story you tell.
It’s HOW you tell The Story.
And THAT is what I am struggling with.
I know WHAT I want to tell you, but I’m having a hard time figuring out HOW to tell it.
I can only hope by MONDAY I will find a way to string together a semi decent blog post for your reading enjoyment.
Until then?
I will be flipping through thesauruses, pounding the keys on my Apple, chain smoking cigarettes, pacing the floors, overdosing on caffeine, and searching for The Right Words!
Thanks for letting me vent. And thanks for being so patient with me ya’ll.
Oh, and ANY suggestions would be helpful.
[UPDATE:]
I still can’t scrape together a blog post just yet. Although I think I might have a semi-decent intro, and I am on my way to figuring out how finish all of those half written drafts. But, in the meantime, I am hoping to find some extra inspiration by reading all of YOUR BLOGS this week. Ya’ll always manage to make me smile, laugh out loud, think, cry, and somehow that bring out the better writer in me. xoxo
Okay people. I know. I’m late for my weekly blog post. Sorry. Please forgive me. That being said, it’s time for Meleah’s Week In Review.
[Warning:This blog post is quite possibly: Very Boring! But, since I have a major case of writer’s block, I am pleased just to see ANY WORDS on this paper. I’m having one of those moments where stringing together sentences, or delivering the funny – seems to be impossible for me. Maybe next week I will be able write something entertaining again!]
Now, where did we leave off last week? Oh that’s right, I had met a ‘Surprise Blind Date Guy -Who Turned Out To Be Totally Super Awesome, Otherwise Known As “Putty” From Seinfeld Only SMARTER’ / Or, Simply “Sonny” For Short.’
Monday, I went on another date with the ‘Surprise Blind Date Guy.’ And, to be absolutely honest, I was a little nervous. I mean our first two encounters were so incredibly perfect, I was positive something was bound to go horribly wrong. But, from the moment he picked me up all of my concerns vanished.
We went out for an early sushi dinner. And by early, I mean we literally ate at 6pm. Just like retired people living in Florida. When we arrived at the restaurant? We were ‘The Only Car’ in the parking lot, and ‘The Only Couple’ in the building. [Lovely.] Fortunately that kind of intimate setting provided us the perfect opportunity for some wonderful conversation. There was no loud music to shout over, and there were no customers to contend with.
Um. Have you ever dated someone and by the third date, felt as if you have known them forever? Because that’s exactly how comfortable I feel whenever I am around him. I never feel like I have to pull out the Fake Meleah, and I never feel like I have to Hide The Crazy. It’s quite the liberating experience.
The only bad thing about my date – was that it ended too soon.
On Tuesday, I spent the day reading all of your blogs and abusing Facebook. That evening, I had to attend the annual ‘Back To School Night’. I must admit I am not really a huge fan of going to these sorts of events. I tend to feel nervous and fidgety around the other mothers that clearly know what they are doing and where they are going. Nonetheless, I attended because it meant a lot to my son. I think it’s pretty awesome my thirteen year old STILL WANTS ME to be involved, and STILL WANTS ME to meet his teachers.
I’d like to present ‘Back To School Night’ in the ‘Bullet Point Format’ in the interest of keeping this blog post a semi-reasonable length.
* I arrived at ‘Back To School Night’, right on time and landed myself a sweet parking space. I was shocked to actually get a spot so close to the school entrance. I spent at least five minutes prematurely congratulating myself.
* Of course, it wasn’t until ‘Back to School Night’ was OVER that I figured out WHY everyone else was trying to score parking spaces closer to the EXIT.
[Let me share a little secret with ya’ll: The further away you park from the building? The faster you will be able to get off of the premises. You’re welcome.]
* I humiliated myself [for the first time] when I jumped three feet in the air after the school bell rang, LOUDLY, even though I knew it was coming.
* I decided my son’s school is way too big, when I got lost. Twice.
* I discovered that I do NOT like my son’s math teacher, but that is NOT just because I don’t like math.
* I humiliated myself [for the second time] and I felt REALLY BADLY when I crashed into the 40-year-old female version of ‘CHUY’ in the hallway. Unfortunately, her height [or lack thereof] made it impossible to see her, especially since I was walking, and too busy looking down at a very important piece of paper in my hand. That very important piece of paper was a map of my son’s school – because I was tired of getting lost.
* I humiliated myself [for the third time] and I should have known I was ‘Doing It Wrong’ when I ended up in a Spanish classroom, especially since my son takes Italian.
* I thought having a paper map would HELP me figure out where to go. Sadly, that was NOT the case. Apparently, I cannot read maps.
* Of course, the ONLY teacher I REALLY liked, turned out NOT to be any of my son’s teachers!
I think that covers most of the highlights. In all seriousness, I still feel terrible about tripping over a 40 year old ‘Little Person’ in the hallway. The image of her laying on helpless on the cold ground, with a confused and disorientated look on her face, is tattooed on my brain.
On Wednesday, I was supposed to go golfing with my girlfriends and ‘Surprise Blind Date Guy’ was going to meet up with us for dinner afterwards. However, sadly, due to the rainy weather my golf game was cancelled. But, I saw NO REASON to cancel having dinner with ‘Surprise Blind Date Guy’ – and neither did he.
We met for dinner and had the best burgers ever when it was brought to my attention that a photo of the two us has been circulating its way around via email to all of his friends. Now, normally, I wouldn’t really mind this kind of thing. I usually have no shame when it comes to posting pictures of myself. And, according to him I look great in the photo [even though I disagree]. But, according to his friends he looks like he is suffering from a case of ‘Bell’s Palsy’. [And, they happen to be right.] Seriously, this particular photo is NOT a very flattering picture of either of us.
The photo was taken on the very first night we met, and as I mentioned in my last post, since I was not expecting to meet anyone that night, I was not exactly dressed-up. In fact, I was practically wearing my pajamas.
Wait.
What was my point?
Oh right, this photo has been circulating its way around via email to all of his friends. Now, not only do all of his FRIENDS know that I OWN a Smurf T-Shirt? They’ve all seen me wearing it! [Great.]
After laughing so hard my cheeks hurt, the date ended with the two of us in his car, talking for hours. And hours. And hours. By the end of the fourth date we both resolved to throw caution to the wind, along with the so-called rule-book. I know, I know, I should be smart and rational and All That Jazz, but there is some kind of crazy chemistry between the two of us and neither one of us wants to waste any time playing by the rules.
On Thursday, I went grocery shopping with my mother, and I spent the evening with my friends at KHCC. As ALWAYS I had an excellent time. Also, I was thrilled to see the premiere of This New Television Show, and the return of This Television Show.
Oh yeah, and just one more thing. On Thursday, MY MOTHER INVITED ‘Surprise Blind Date Guy -Who Turned Out To Be Totally Super Awesome, Otherwise Known As “Putty” From Seinfeld Only SMARTER’ / Or, Simply “Sonny” For Short’ TO JOIN MY FAMILY TO CELEBRATE THE JEWISH NEW YEAR [on Saturday] – AND HE HAPPILY ACCEPTED!
On Friday, I spent the whole day and night, helping my mother prepare for the ‘Jewish New Year’ known as ‘Rosh Hashanah’. It’s a ritual my mother and I have been doing for years and it’s something I actually look forward to. It’s exhausting, and physically taxing, but her and I have so much fun together it’s always WORTH it.
Thanks to our lovely neighbor, we managed to avoid one heck of a tragic ‘sink situation’ when something mysteriously clogged the garbage disposal. Apparently, you can NOT put an entire raw onion down the drain without facing serious repercussions.
Also on Friday, my father busted out into one of his hysterical laughing fits while doing the dishes with Poppa Sye. Feel free to watch the video by clicking here.
On Saturday, we celebrated Rosh Hashanah as only the Walter, Colonna, Hawthorne’s can do. And, I am happy to report that ‘Surprise Blind Date Guy -Who Turned Out To Be Totally Super Awesome, Otherwise Known As “Putty” From Seinfeld Only SMARTER’ / Or, Simply “Sonny” For Short’ completely held his own. Seriously, people. He fit RIGHT IN with the family. Just like my friend, Amy The Bartender, suspected he would.
Please feel free to view the photos of the days events by clicking here!
On Sunday, I played golf for the second time since I was nine years old. And it was fabulous. In fact, I forgot how much I enjoyed that sport. Not only did I enjoy playing the actual game, but, I truly enjoyed that kind of time with my friends and my mother.
Have you ever laughed so hard with your friends you couldn’t catch your breath? Because that’s what it was like when I played golf this Sunday, with these people.
[Note: As promised, I will be writing this blog post in both The First Person and The Third Person. I sure do hope that everyone is happy now?]
Okay people, I was going to write ‘Meleah’s Week In Review’ like I am supposed to write on Mondays. However, in the interest of keeping my blog posts shorter, I am only going to share a few stories from last week, rather than breaking down each individual day. Because honestly? Not all that much happened on Monday, Tuesday or Thursday anyway.
Oh, and I will be peppering this blog post with captioned photos in a lame attempt to distract you from realizing just how long this blog post actually is.
Ready?
Here we go…
Last Wednesday, I was invited to attend my ‘Very First Wine Tasting Dinner’. Which is ironic considering I don’t even drink wine. But, since I was asked by some of my dear friends [who will now and forever be referred to as The Peeps] I just couldn’t say no.
I would like to share with you the highlights and/or cliff notes of that night, via Facebook Status Update Format.
Facebook Status Updates Meleah WOULD HAVE POSTED [if her cell phone had internet access] While Attending Her First ‘Wine Tasting Dinner.’
* Meleah was so excited about attending her Very First Wine Tasting Dinner – she went out of her way to ‘Dress Up’ [like a lady] complete with a skirt and high heels. [And in case anyone is wondering, yes, that does qualify as a miracle.]
* Meleah was so nervous about attending her Very First Wine Tasting Dinner – she showed up a half an hour early. But, Meleah was ‘The Only Person’ who showed up that early, and that only made her all the more nervous!
* Meleah spent the next thirty minutes hoping and praying she had arrived at the Right Place. And, she was quite relieved when the other members of the party finally showed up at the Same Place.
* Meleah felt very uncomfortable attending her Very First Wine Tasting Dinner – having little to no knowledge about wine/champagne. Therefore, Meleah just smiled, and nodded in agreement, AS IF she understood what the other people were talking about. She thinks she may have been able to fool everyone into thinking she belonged there.
* Meleah was way too shy to take pictures at her Very First Wine Tasting Dinner, even though she had been given ‘The Best Seating Possible, With Perfect Vantage Points, Specifically For Taking Photos’.
* Meleah received a valuable education in wine-glass-cleaning complete with special techniques after someone else discovered the wine glasses on the table smelled a little bit funky. Apparently, a good bottle of wine will be destroyed if the wine glass itself is not cleaned properly. And anytime Meleah learns a new ‘Cleaning Trick’ is a GOOD time for her.
* Meleah managed to use her Inside Voice for the duration of a five-course meal.
* Meleah had No Idea two Seemingly Harmless Scallops could wreak SO MUCH havoc, in one’s mouth and/or throat, because Meleah did not realize just how much spicy chili powder was on top of these two Seemingly Harmless Scallops.
* Meleah was forced to chew on an entire cup of ice just to stop the fiery burning.
* Meleah also had no idea those two seemingly harmless scallops would haunt her for the duration of the evening.
* Meleah discovered there is not enough Zantac in the world to cure that kind of heartburn.
And that my friends, wraps up my very first, ‘Wine Tasting Dinner’.
Now, I believe I promised some of you the story about: ‘A Girl Who Hasn’t ‘Dated’ Or Even Liked ANYONE Since Last February, That Once Had A Crush On A ‘Totally Super Hot Guy.’
However, if you noticed the words “Once Had” I am sure you can deduce that story is no longer relevant. In fact, I have a much better story to tell. This story is called:
The Surprise Blind Date Guy – Who Turned Out To be Totally Super Hot And Awesome, Otherwise Known As ‘Puddy’ From Seinfeld – Only SMARTER.
Now, I almost DID NOT share this story with you, because my mother is convinced that every time I write a blog post that involves any sort of dating theme I jinks myself. Which may or may not be true. But, for whatever reason, I am willing to take that gamble and roll the dice here. Although, I might freak out of this ends up blowing up in my face.
Anyway…
On Friday, I was visiting my favorite person known as Amy The Bartender [Who Plays Tennis But Is Not Ranked] at my favorite place known as KHCC.
It was just like any other day I’ve spent in the corner of the bar, on my computer, and minding my own business. And by minding my own business I mean socializing with everyone inside the building.
One of my girlfriends whom I haven’t seen in a while just happened to stop in that night. And, she could not have showed up at a better time in my life. After chatting and catching up with each other she asked if I was still single. Of course my reply was, YES. Painfully. Single.
While I love spending time with my friends, 99.9% of them are a part of a couple. And while I thoroughly enjoy being invited to all of their houses and to all of their fabulous parties, at times it can feel pretty lonely being The Only Single Girl.
Now, yes, I have written posts before about: Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome. And quite frankly, I have been pretty great with being alone. Happy even. It’s been nice with no one else demanding, wanting or needing things from me. It’s been positively agreeable that a man in my life could become a major distraction from reaching my goals.
The best part(s) of being this single, besides not having to shave my legs, or having to get dressed up, or go through the god awful uncomfortable first date silence? I have been able to experience the sheer freedom; to do what I want, when I want, with who I want, and not answering to, or considering anyone else’s needs or feelings. It’s one less person to clean up after. It’s one less load of laundry, and I never ever have to share the remote or fake interest in sporting events.
Except that sometimes, it’s not always super awesome to be lonely. Even now and again, I really do wonder what it would be like to have a boyfriend again. Maybe even a boyfriend that I actually liked. And I miss being in a committed relationship.
Which brings me to the point. Hopefully.
I had just finished expressing how it’s not always super awesome to be totally lonely. And it was as if a light bulb went off over my girlfriend’s head. She suggested that I call, or text, her Single And Available brother, to set up a date for ‘Sunday Sauce’ at her house. This way, if he agreed, there would be a built in ‘buffer-zone’.
While I was hesitant at first, the idea of living the single life forever stings. A lot. So, I decided to be bold. I decided to be brave. And I sent a text message to her brother. After friendly banter we both agreed to meet at his sisters house on Sunday for sauce.
Good. Great. That would give me something to look forward to.
Little did I know my girlfriend had other plans on her mind. Just as soon as I walked away to use the bathroom she called, and spoke to her brother, all the while convincing him to come up to the clubhouse immediately.
By the time I found out he was on his way? It was too late for me to run home and ‘get ready’ to meet him. Like most people, I prefer to put on my game face, and respectable clothing, when making a first impression.
But there I was wearing no makeup, sporting a raggedy ponytail, in black sweatpants, and a baby blue Smurf t-shirt that makes my boobs look like to red balloons stuck to my chest – with nowhere to hide.
All of a sudden, something inside of me said, “If He Cant Take You At Your Worst, He Doesn’t Deserve You At Your Best.” And then I thought, well, eventually anyone who dates me will find out exactly what I look like without any make-up, in sweat pants and a ponytail, especially since that is how I normally look All.The.Time.
So, I resolved to stay in the building to await his arrival, and I remained dressed like a homeless person.
Now, I was NOT expecting him to be funny. I was NOT expecting him to find me the least bit interesting. I was NOT expecting him to be so very incredibly handsome. And I was certainly NOT expecting for the two of us to hit it off seamlessly and perfectly within seconds of meeting each other.
But. Um.
He is very funny. He found me quite interesting. He is so very incredibly handsome. And we totally hit it off within the first sentence exchange.
We ended up staying at the clubhouse until closing, without ever having a single second of that dreaded silence. The two of us chatted about any and everything with wildly flailing arms moving at rapid speeds just like most Jewish Italian People do.
Without giving too much away, I will quote Amy The Bartender the best I can:
“Honestly, I have never seen two people have so much in common, and so much chemistry, that quickly. It’s almost scary.”
And she’s right. By the end of the first date, my head was spinning and I was left wondering, “Is This Too Good To Be True?”
So, I tested the hands of fate.
I figured since I’ve already broken some of my 1st date rules [which by the way have never paid off anyway] what’s the big deal if I break another so-called dating rule?
So. I sent him a text. Thanking him for the Best 1st Date Ever.
And yanno what happened?
We made a second date for Saturday Night.
And that date was just as awesome [if not better than] Friday Night.
And we spent the whole day Sunday texting [and talking on the phone] because ‘Sunday Sauce’ was canceled due to the fact that my girlfriend is currently feeling under the weather.
So…there you have it.
Or at least as much as I am permitted to tell you – for now!
And now, it’s time for me to make my rounds on The Internet and catch up with all your fabulous blog posts!
I had an absolutely wonderful Holiday Weekend. Mostly because I got to spend time with some of my family that I don;t get to see often enough. Every year my mother’s side of the family hosts The DeSordi Family Picnic, and it was a blast. Except for the fact that I was freezing.
While I was running around, wearing my father’s jeans, and trying to keep warm, taking action shots and group photos, my father decided it would be funny to insert himself into as many pictures as possible.
And he was right.
It is funny.
Let’s see if you can Find My Father!
[The fact that he looks like Tony Bennett, and the fact that I have arrows pointing directly towards him – won’t make it too hard for you to spot him in these pictures.]
Before you look at the last picture….
My Cousin Elena had NO IDEA my father was behind her, or, that he had been inserting himself into pictures for the last hour.
She tried to ask me, “What’s So Funny” and she wanted to know WHY I was laughing so hard.
But, since I couldn’t even breathe, obviously, I couldn’t answer her.
This….is my new favorite photo of all time.
Yep.
That’s my daddy.
How was your Holiday Weekend?
PS: I am happy to announce that I finally finished editing, cropping, and titling the family photos from our Annual Reunion. [If you would like to view the complete set please feel free to click HERE.] Of course now I have the monumental task of creating a Movie out of these pictures! Because simply looking at the photos is not nearly as much fun as as watching them Video Style. A Paparazzi’s work is never done.
Because THAT is what I had to wear all day yesterday!
Yep.
I suppose I should explain my ever so stylish outfit.
When I left my house it was all of 85 degrees and sunny. However, by the time I arrived at my Annual Family Picnic? It was all of 50 degrees and cloudy. Fortunately, I never leave my house without a sweatshirt and a pair of Dr Seuss-esque socks, because I never know when I will feel the need to bundle up. And thankfully, both the sweatshirt and matching socks came in handy.
However, I was still freezing considering I was wearing shorts. Of course, there was a Target Store conveniently located less than a block away from the party. But, since I didn’t want to leave the party subsequently risking photo opportunities, I agreed to wear my father’s jeans.
Because that’s what a good Family Historian does.
As the Princess Paparazzi, I hope ya’ll will please excuse me while I busy myself: uploading, editing, cropping, captioning, comic life-ing, and posting a zillion photos from the day’s event.
But, I will be back tomorrow to read/comment on all of your blogs.
And, if there is enough time for me to construct a real post, with real words, I may even regale you with a little story about ‘A Girl Who Hasn’t Dated Since February’ that recently discovered she has a MAJOR crush on an ‘Unavailable Totally Super Hot Guy’. Sounds interesting right?
PS: I hope everyone has been having a wonderful Holiday Weekend!
