Top Ten ‘Highlights’ of 2010 [so far]

1.  Saying the year “Twenty-Ten” makes me feel like I am living inside of a Science Fiction Novel. Which is kind of awesome – even if most things ‘Sci-Fi’ scare the crap out of me.

2.  Having the house to myself for several consecutive days. Which was also awesome – except for at night, because I am still terrified of the dark, especially when I am alone.

3.  Spending Quality Time with my son JCH and listening to him play his new Electric Guitar. Because other than hearing high-pitched-squealing-riffs that sound like he’s murdering the instrument? He’s getting quite good.

4.  Becoming deathly ill with the flu, while having the house to myself, and being solely responsible for taking care of my 13-year-old son JCH, and my 89-year-old Grandfather Poppa Sye. Which was not awesome at all.

…..BUT…..

5.  Having one of my girlfriends surprise me – and show up at my house wielding ‘All Things Necessary’ to aid in the recovery from said deathly illness?
= Totally. Super. Awesome.

6.  And! Not only did she bring cold medicine, and hot soup for me? But, she also brought dinner for both my son and my grandfather. Which touched me so deeply, I could have broke down and cried – except that I didn’t – because I was already so stuffy, I couldn’t imagine producing even more mucus.

7.  And! As if that wasn’t enough? She came back The Very Next Day with more food for me, AND homemade meatballs, pasta, gravy, grated cheese, and garlic bread for both my son and my grandfather, who proceeded to clean their plates like savages. And despite the fact that my throat was so sore, I felt like I had swallowed a porcupine, I ate every single bite of her super-delicious-possibly-magical-Lentil Soup-with-tremendous-healing-powers.

8.  I confessed a ‘secret’ to my Very Best Friend [even though she already knew it] and NEVER felt judged by her. Instead, I was reassured repeatedly, that nothing could, or would, ever come between our friendship. Unless, of course I lie to her, because quite frankly, I lost the ability to pull off hiding things from my friends a very long time ago.

9.  Recognizing, appreciating, and feeling profoundly grateful – for the amazing network of support and friendships that I have in my life.

10.  Being sick and incapacitated, affords that special guilt-free kind of time to watch endless Television like: The E! Channel and all it has to offer, Law & Order, Scrubs, 30 Rock, and, my new favorite show, Hoarders, Marathon-Style. And, I finally got around to watching the movie ‘The Hangover’ which may very well be the funniest movie I have ever seen. Especially since I watched that movie for the third time, trying my best to memorize my favorite lines, while in a delirious state of mind [courtesy of a 102 fever] and under the influence of a NyQuil medication induced haze.

* Good Times *

Side Bar:

Speaking of Nyquil, my adrenal glands must operate differently than any other human being on the plant. Because while most people respond to NyQuil much like they would to chloroform, I react to NyQuil like someone who has taken an overdose of Adderall. Seriously, how else could I possibly explain this next little tale?

After spending three days bed-ridden, and feeling frustratingly useless, I took another healthy dose of NyQuil, fully prepared for another good night’s rest. But, all of a sudden, I felt an overwhelming urge to spring out of my bed. And, I was oddly inspired to BAKE something.

Yes. I should know by now that, Baking + Meleah = A Very Bad Idea.

I am sure most of you remember what happened the last time I tried baking? Yeah?, Well, this experience was no different. Yes, I followed the instructions to the letter. And thankfully, no one was injured. But, of course, I still managed to make a complete mess of things when the cake mix sprayed wildly and uncontrollably, only to land all over my pajamas, bathrobe, face, and hair. At least, this time around, the buttery-battery-goodness did NOT end up on the kitchen ceiling. However, I am totally blaming NyQuil for my lack of motor skills, and not on the fact that I have little to no eye-hand coordination. In good news, that lovely experiment forced me to finally take that shower and wash my germ infested bathrobe.

Bonus Material:

11.  I am proud to say that I have officially accumulated enough comfy, cozy, sets of pajamas to wear a fresh, clean, new pair, every single day – without having to do a single load of laundry. Maybe 2010 will be the year where it will finally become ‘socially acceptable’ to wear pajamas at all times, and under any circumstance. {What, a girl can dream.}

And lastly,

12.  Over the course of my illness, I enjoyed several steaming hot cups of tea from my new favorite mug that I purchased from ‘The Midget Man Of Steel’, because even though I was sick, I always need a daily dose of Mental Poo.

And that my friends; has been a kickawesome way – to start off the New Year.

I hope ya’ll had a great New Years Eve!  How has your New Year been so far?

Posted in Cooking, Family, Friends, Holidays, Life, Links, Other Bloggers, Photos, Strong Medicine | 69 Comments

Happy New Year

Happy New Years

[photo taken NYE 2008]

Happy F*cking New Year Everyone!

Okay people. I am not very good at making or keeping New Year Resolutions. Seriously, I am not going to be joining a gym, nor will I try to quit smoking any time soon. But, I do need to make some changes. And that’s why I like to hear what YOUR resolutions are, because quite frankly?  I am fresh out of ideas. So, please tell me, what are you going to be doing differently in 2010?

PS:

Please enjoy this hilarious video featuring: Octomom. Twitter. Obama. Balloon Boy. Tiger Woods and so much more. If there’s one thing for sure in this world, it’s that as long as people are acting reckless, insane and just plain stupid, there will always be plenty of material available for JibJab’s annual “Year in Review” videos!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!
Posted in Holidays, Videos | 78 Comments

My Dangerous New Obsession

Really.

Truly.

Seriously.

I am completely mesmerized with this television series.

And I think EVERYONE should watch at least One Episode!

Posted in Links, MeleVision, TV and Movies | 19 Comments

From My Family, To Yours….

happy-holidays-tux-thumb_306x2451

* Complete Set Of Photos For: My Father’s 61st Birthday & Christmas Eve 2009!

* Complete Set Of Photos For: Christmas 2009!

Okay people, I have a lot of video footage to work with [complete with NEW material from the one and only Grandma Evelyn]. And I have a ton of blog topics to write about. However, those things are going to take time to put together properly. Therefore, I am not going to be able to post any of it until AFTER the New Year.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and I hope everyone has a very safe New Years Eve!

I, for one, am really looking forward to 2010.

Posted in Family, Holidays, Photos | 35 Comments

When Is Enough? Enough.

That’s a question I’ve been asking myself for the last few days.
After much thought, and after much angst, I wholeheartedly agree with this statement:

“When two people love one another, when is enough enough?”
The answer is simple for me: “Never.”

-The Mexican (2001) starring: Brad Pitt & Julia Roberts.

I am still not completely ready, willing, or able – to stop believing – that ONE DAY Sonny and I will get back together and find the perfect resolution.  And while it might be a dangerous thing for me to cling tenaciously to this kind of endless hope, I refuse to let go of the cliché’ ‘True Love Conquers All’, because believing in that,  is the only thing that works for me right now. I don’t know what lies ahead in the future. So, for once in my life, I’d rather consider the best of possibilities and not imagine the worst case scenarios.

Sadly, I’ve also come to the conclusion; there will never be enough tears to heal the damage in my broken heart.  I have been grieving like a devastated widow and I’m pretty sure everyone is sick of watching me mope around wearing his shirt.  So, instead of spending the rest of my life in utter misery, I have to find a way to pull myself together.  I have to get out of my bed.  I have to take a shower.  I have to get dressed in real clothes.  And I have to take care of my child.

I know that I am probably going to be crying on the inside for a very long time, and I simply have to accept that only time will eventually lesson these sharp pains in my chest.  [See, I listen to all of you!] And, in the meantime, I am going to take some of your advice.

It has been suggested that I attempt to ‘fake’ being happy [or some resemblance of happy] until I actually feel better again.  And that’s exactly what I am going to do.  In order for me to ‘Fake It – Until I Make It’, I am going to do all of the things I used to do, before Sonny entered my life.  I need to start reading, writing, blogging, and commenting on a regular basis again.  I need to surround myself with loved ones because there is nothing as wonderful as hanging out with my totally super amazing family and friends.

And, hopefully, I will find my way back to funny sooner than later.

I think if I start ‘Acting-As-If’ right now, I will be able to deliver an ‘Oscar-Worthy-Performance’ by the time my fathers birthday rolls around on Christmas Eve.  I would sincerely hate to ruin that glorious family event for everyone.  I think if I take enough xanax, dress up in my finest clothes, and snap a million photos, I’ll be just fine that day. [At least, on the outside.]

Also, after much consideration, I have resolved to stop talking about Sonny, or my feelings surrounding him – publicly on my blog. For now.

[Rest assured, this action will not preclude me from sending private emails. Because honestly, taking with all of YOU really does HELP.]

While my blog has always been an excellent place for me to vent, and never in my life have I received such an outpouring of support, this ‘Debbie Downer’ crap needs to stop.

[You’re welcome Amy & Moooog]

PS:
I cannot even begin to THANK all of YOU for your words of wisdom, comments, advice, emails, text messages, Facebook messages, and continued love and support. Ya’ll will never know just how much your friendships sustained me through this whole ordeal.

Oh, wait.

Just one last thing.

I don’t know if it’s ‘That Time Of Year’, or if it’s because I am just more susceptible than usual, but, if I have to see one more commercial for engagement rings [or any form of jewelry that represents all things love] I am going to scream on the top of my lungs, and possibly shank whomever is sitting next to me. Okaythanksbye.

Posted in Drama Drama, Friends, Life, Links, Love, Other Bloggers | 66 Comments

I Can’t Stop These Tears From Falling From My Eyes

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”

– Washington Irving.


Posted in Dating, Drama Drama, Love | 19 Comments

Devastation Nation

I have been in a perpetual state of SHOCK since my break up. I have begrudgingly gone through the motions of my life over this past weekend – unable to feel ANYTHING. And now, I am afraid to let myself cry. I am terrified that if I give in to this kind of pain, I might not be able to handle it.

I know I won’t be able to run away or hide from my feelings with outside distractions forever. I also know I am going to have to deal with this eventually. But I am also afraid that if I really breakdown, and I really let myself cry, it will make the breakup way too REAL. And, final.

I am not completely ready to accept that it is over. I keep thinking there WILL be a way to work through what happened. I keep praying there WILL be away for Sonny and I to get back together. But certain lines have been crossed. And I don’t know how, or if , it will ever be possible for us to come back from the damage that has been done.

I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t write. And, I certainly can’t listen to the radio or any music, because everything reminds me of him. I can’t even seem to focus long enough to watch Television without my mind wandering back to him.  It is taking everything I have to muster up the words for this blogpost.

I’ve spent the better part of my time this weekend, replaying every single moment I spent with him over the last three months. And while yes, there were warning signs and red flags, I can’t stop thinking about how wonderful it felt to be inside the warmth of his arms, and about all of the AMAZING times we’ve shared together. All I can think about is the smell of his skin, the taste of his kiss, and the way we fit together so perfectly. And I miss him so much it’s killing me.

I believed with my WHOLE HEART that he was THE ONE. I felt like we were ‘Made For Each Other’ with every fiber of my being. I truly saw myself MARRYING him one day and I planned on spending the rest of my life with him.

I am sitting here shaken to my very core – at the mere thought of letting go of him. The idea that I might never see him again is more painful than I ever imagined. And even though my mother dragged me out of bed and took me to The Apple Store to buy the new Macbook Pro, NOTHING can fill the huge, gaping, painful void, inside of my broken heart.

Posted in Dating, Drama Drama, Love | 80 Comments

I Am Single, Again.

I am simply too exhausted to write about the specifics surrounding the reasons my relationship with Sonny has come to a very painful END. All I can say is that I am going to need all of your love and support to help me get through this difficult time.

I am completely heartbroken.

Posted in Dating, Drama Drama, Single Life | 86 Comments

It’s All New, And Shiny, And Awesome, And I Love It.

Oh. My. God.

Do you see that? Or that? Or THAT?

Have you noticed any of the new, shiny, and incredibly amazing changes made on my blog?

No?

Then take a look around!

Last night I received an email from my oldest and dearest friend Leslie Poston. [And by oldest, I mean we have been best friends for 23 years now.] Anyway, just as I was about to go to sleep at a respectable hour, I received an email from Leslie, telling me to go ‘check my blog’.

Now, as some of you know, Leslie, has always been and will always be the technical brains behind my blog. She is a master of all things HTML, CSS, and PHP, and whatever other codey speak is required for smart people instinctively know how to build, manage and operate websites.

I knew ‘check your blog’ meant that Leslie went ahead and made some changes to this here site, but I NEVER expected all of THIS!

I have to admit, when I first looked at my blog, it was in the middle of being altered so I kind of freaked out. I couldn’t get over how WIDE my new page looked. And how it filled my whole computer screen. I didn’t know what else to expect. And, I wasn’t sure I was even going to like the changes. I mean my blog has essentially been the same for the past Four Years!

However, I have complete trust in Leslie and all of her mad website building skills. So, instead of continuing to freak out, I kept chanting ‘Change Is Good’ while I waited patiently to see the final outcome. [And by waited patiently, I mean I kept hitting the refresh button every five seconds to look for updates, chain smoking cigarettes, biting off my fingernails, and incessantly twirling my hair.]

After hitting refresh for the billionth time, I saw my Photos come to life in the Flickr Strip located in the left sidebar as opposed to the bottom of my blog. And I liked it.

When I noticed how much I liked the font? My face lit up. Of course, I quickly realized it probably wasn’t normal for any person become to that excited over a type of font. And that I should immediately cease and desist doing the Happy Dance.

But when I saw all of the social bookmarking buttons at the bottom of each blog post, and how shiny and pretty they look? I squealed for delight on the top of my lungs. I hovered my mouse over every single icon, and shouted with glee the names of each bookmark.

I was utterly satisfied right then and there with all of those changes, but Leslie wasn’t finished.

The next thing I knew, My Bloglog and My Blogcatalog window thingy’s appeared. All of my archives were neatly stored in a Drop Down Box Format. And My Left Side Bar never looked so glorious.

As I was basking in the glow of my shiny new blog I noticed something was askew.

And that’s when something terrible happened.

Something beyond tragic.

Something that would devastate every single blogger I know.

I noticed something VERY important was missing.

0 comments

WHAT?

See that?

0 comments

There are NO COMMENTS?
That’s Impossible!
I have Four Years worth of comments!
WHERE ARE ALL OF MY COMMENTS?

Yeah, um….

As I raced back to Facebook fully prepared to loose my sh*t, Leslie, in all of her infinite wisdom had already written an email explaining why, where, and WHAT was happening with the comments.

Leslie: “It will SAY you have no comments for a little while. Don’t panic, you just have a lot and the application is all WHAT THE FUCK, WOMAN NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE, right now 😉 Hopefully you wont get NEW ones for a few minutes, lol.

WHEW!

And then something else mind-blowing happened.

Something that was [and IS] Totally Super AMAZING!

Not only did all four years worth of comments re-appear, complete with the avatars of all my lovely readers faces…but something even better happened!

Something I wouldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams…

There is a Mother Fucking ‘LIKE’ Button!

Yeah, that’s right.

Just like Facebook.

HELLO!

I have my very own ‘Like’ button – next to every single comment that is made on this blog! And I can click on as many as I want, WITHOUT getting banned from Facebook!

[There is also a reply button in the comments, and tons of cool functions I have yet to learn, but I cat even focus on that when I HAVE MY VERY OWN LIKE BUTTON! I mean forget that every time someone refreshes my page the header and my flickr strip change, LIKE MAGIC.  I’ll  pay more attention to those later! Right now? I’m way too consumed with my Like button! ]

Seriously, the first time I clicked on the ‘Like’ button next to a comment?
I practically passed out.

I would like to publicly thank my 23-year ‘BESTIE’ for being so FABULOUS. Because aside from the time she gave me ‘My Very Own Leg Lamp’, this ‘Blog Overhaul’ –  is The Best Hanukah/Christmas Gift anyone ever gave me.

[Leslie, I love you. And even though you are my Monkee, you will always be my ‘Album’.]

Now come on people. Let’s leave comments and LIKE them!

Posted in Family, Friends, Life, Links, Other Bloggers | 57 Comments

The Top Five Things That Made Me Laugh – Holiday Edition

I light of the Holiday Season, instead of focusing on writing about my my dry chapped hands, or the crappy weather, I thought I would share with ya’ll some of the things I found, saw, and read on the internet over the past week.

[Because nothing gets me into the spirit of the Holiday Season quite like laughter.]

I hope you enjoy these little treats as much as I did.

1] The ‘Woods Family’ Christmas Card:

page_1

2] The Annual Christmas Card Letter:

My very dear, real life friend [and kickawesome writer] Michael Christleman, from the blog: The Wonderful World Of Nothing Worthwhile has out done himself yet again, with his own version of the Annual Christmas Card Letter and it’s written from a wife’s point of view!

If you have ever received a Christmas Card Letter from a friend/family member where it seems as if they are only writing to simply to brag about how great their lives are – then I suggest you read his version of ‘The Annual Christmas Card Letter’ for yourself – by clicking HERE!*

3] A Letter Written To Mall Kiosk Workers:

I have recently discovered a blog written by Ms. Terri titled Writing In Crayon. I have enjoyed reading her posts because she has a wonderful sense of humor, and a terrific way with words.  I would like to highlight one of her blog posts in particular.

*If you have ever been annoyed, irritated, or frustrated by those ever-so-pushy Kiosk Workers, they very people we try desperately to avoid while frantically shopping for Christmas Presents, then I am urging you to take the time and read this ‘Letter To A Mall Kiosk Worker’, by clicking HERE!* I promise, you will laugh out loud.

4] The Entirely Unorthodox Holiday Gift Giving Guide:

I am not ashamed to admit that I have the biggest Girl Crush on the very lovely and talented LiLu who writes the HILARIOUS blog Live It Love It. Seriously, she makes me laugh every day with her TMI Thursday Posts and The Shiz My Boyfriend Says.

*If you are looking for some interesting, funny, or even disgusting Holiday gifts, you need to click HERE!

5] The Grand Whiffer:

My friend Mooooog35, otherwise known as The Midget Man Of Steel [or simply ROD for short] who writes the sometimes sick and twisted and always comical blog Mental Poo – wrote a post awhile that has absolutely NOTHING to do with the holidays whatsoever. But, it was the funniest thing I think I have ever read – in my entire life.

*So, if you are into Old Ladies, Grandmothers and Farts, then you will laugh until your face falls off – by clicking HERE! And even if your not into those things, you should still click on that link. Seriously.

6] Bonus Material:

And now for something totally unrelated and way off topic!

I have talked about my girlfriend Amy The Bartender MANY times on this blog, because I have so much fun with her, and quite frankly, she’s my best friend. But, I don’t think I have ever mentioned just how BLIND Amy The Bartender really is.

* I have witnessed Amy The Bartender squint her eyes so tightly it causes her whole face to contort.

* I have watched Amy The Bartender confuse people she should have been able to recognize with ease. But, the first time I realized Amy’s eyesight was completely out of whack, was the day an African American Male came into KHCC and she thought he was My Father.

*And, I really knew Amy The Bartenders eyesight was long gone – back when I first created her Title.

Now, I completely understand why Amy The Bartender cannot wear contact lenses because of her intensive ‘Dry Eye’ situation. But nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING – prepared me for this.

One fine Sunday afternoon, Amy The Bartender and I decided to go to The Movies. After getting our seats and settling down, I looked over at Amy only to see this:

how-amy-the-bartender-watches-movies-because-the-only-prescription-glasses-she-owns-are-sunglasses

What. The. Hell?

Yeah, um…

Apparently, Amy The Bartender not only wears her Prescription Sunglasses while driving at NIGHT and IN THE DARK, but she ALSO wore them for the duration of the movie, because those are the only prescription glasses she owns.

Who ELSE Does That?

[I think I just might have to buy Amy The Bartender REGULAR Prescription Glasses for Christmas this year, because I just can’t be seen in a movies with that again!]

Posted in Friends, Holidays, Humor, Links, Other Bloggers | 28 Comments