Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Twelve]

Posted on April 26, 2010 by Meleah

[Week 12: April 19th – 25th]

* For those of you who are NEW to ‘Doing Things Differently™’ you can find out HOW and WHY ‘Doing Things Different’ began simply by clicking HERE. *

‘Once Upon A Time’ A Girl Named Meleah wanted to improve the ‘Quality Of Her Life’ so she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’. And then she noticed the ‘Little Changes’ she made every day had a huge impact on her life. And even though Meleah had a few ‘Setbacks’ she kept on forging ‘Ahead’.

After completing ‘The First Four Weeks’ of ‘Doing Things Differently™’ Meleah stepped up her game by taking things to the ‘Next Level’.  She momentarily took a break to ‘Visit With An Old Friend’ but she continued ‘Doing Things Differently™’ even after things became slightly ‘Boring.’

Meleah completed ‘The Second Four Weeks’ of ‘Doing Things Differently™’ but she felt like things were becoming slightly ‘Mundane’. So, she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’ with a little more Intensity. And then she got Injured.

Onward.

Upon ‘Internet Orders’ [via comments on this Blog/Facebook, coupled with ‘Non-Negotiable Statements’ from her family members and her friends] Meleah took ‘One Week Off’ from ‘Doing Things Differently’.

And Meleah found herself quite depressed. Especially since she planned on starting ‘Day One’ of ‘Doing Things The Same’ by now.

Meleah thought she could almost feel the return of  ‘Doughy-Softness’ with respects to her ‘Tiny Physic’. And it was the very same ‘Doughy-Softness’ she’s been trying to ‘Battle’ since ‘Day One’ of ‘DTD’. But then Meleah remembered she is ‘Crazy’ and how a ‘Temporary Seven Day Break’ could not possibly ‘Undo’ the previous ‘Eleven Consecutive Weeks’ of ‘Intensive Training’.  [Unless, of course, she spent those seven days stuffing her face with ‘Junk Food’. Which she totally did.]

Meleah also realized that she wouldn’t  ‘Properly Heal’ unless she actually ‘Rested’.

So…

Instead of ‘Doing Things Differently’?

She spent the ‘Whole Week’: icing her legs, sleeping, watching television, playing ‘Bejeweled Blitz’ reading books, writing new chapters and entertaining ideas for her book, blogging, facebooking, and of course, she did a lot of laughing with her friends.

However.

Even though Meleah could not put on her ‘Outfit’ nor could she go ‘Outside’ she continued pushing herself and tried to sustain ‘Doing Things Differently’ by doing 100 ‘Stomach-Crunches’ and 50 ‘Sit-Ups’.

Every. Single. Day.

[For the 8th Week In. A. Row.]

Now.

As much as Meleah LOATHES going to the doctor’s, she really had no other choice but to schedule an appointment with her ‘Primary Care Physician.’ Because the pain she was suffering did NOT ‘Go Away’ on it’s own. In fact the ‘Excruciating Painful Shin Splints’ and the ‘Mysterious Lumps’ seemed to worsen.

Any by ‘Mysterious Lumps’ she really means her ‘Right Shin’ was covered in what looked like ‘Swollen Knuckles’ that ‘Protruded’ directly off of the Bone. You could have easily confused her Shin with a ‘Spinal Cord’ belonging to a really skinny person.

So, Meleah begrudgingly showed up at her doctor’s office late Friday afternoon.

And after just ‘One Glance’ he immediately sent her for an ‘Ultrasound’.

Of course Meleah launched into ‘Full-Fledged Panic Mode’ seconds after her doctor suggested the problem might be caused by ‘Blood Clots’.

But more on THAT – another day, and in another blog post.

Meleah will tell you that she has to wait until Wednesday to find out ‘The Results’ from ‘The Tests’. And, in the meantime, she refuses to ‘Speculate’ about ‘Possible Medical Conditions’ anymore than she already has.

She has also been ‘Ordered’ to stop ‘Doing Things Differently’ for at least ‘One More Week’. And she has to keep her leg ‘Tightly Wrapped’ after applying ‘Special Medicated Patches’ ‘Every Twelve Hours’ to her ‘Right Shin’.

In closing, Meleah does have some POSITIVE news.

On Saturday night Meleah went BOWLING for the FIRST TIME EVER with her father, her mother, and her brother. And, she will be bringing you a HAPPY blog post chock filled with ‘Photos’ and ‘Videos’ staring ‘Yours Truly’!

Posted in Doing Things Differently, Life, Links, Strong Medicine | 69 Comments

In Search Of The Perfect Bra

Posted on April 22, 2010 by Meleah

Lately, I’ve been wondering why it’s ‘Virtually Impossible’ for me to find a decent bra. Seriously. Ladies, do you know what I am taking about?

It seems as if ‘The Powers That Be’ in the world of ‘All Things Lingerie’ have come up with damn near every single kind bra – except for ‘The One’ I am searching for.

In the twenty-three years I’ve been wearing brassieres, I am fairly certain I have tried just about every single type of bra ever manufactured. And yet, I still can’t find ‘The Perfect Bra’.

They are luxurious and ever so expensive ‘Over-The-Shoulder-Boulder-Holders’ specifically designed to ‘Lift’ and ‘Separate’. There are some fabulously over priced ‘Tit-Slings’ intended to provide ‘Spectacular Cleavage’ or make you seem larger, filled with removable Water or Air Bags otherwise known as ‘Miracle Bras’. They also have ‘Flopper Stoppers’ which inevitably crush your breasts [and quite possibly a little piece of your soul] often referred to as ‘Sports Bras’.

They have backless bras, and strapless bras, and bras with interchangeable straps. They have ‘Hooter Harnesses’ including balcony bras, or, demi-bras, wherein you can choose from drop cups, or, full cups. There are bras that fasten in the back. And there bras that fasten in the front. You can find halter bras, maternity bras, underwire bras. They even manufacture seamless bras. And, you can find almost all of those ‘Instruments Of Torture’ in a variety of colors, fabrics, styles, and materials.

But I don’t need to be lifted or separated. And I certainly don’t need any extra cleavage. Now, I suppose I could go bra-less, however fellow blogger JD already does that so I don’t have to.

So what the heck am I looking for?

Well that’s simple.

I just want a bra that does NOT make me look like I have Back Fat!

Because I am really sick of looking like I have an ‘extra roll’ underneath the back strap! Especially since I really DON’T have any ‘Back Fat’!

And, here’s whats MOST vexing.

Let’s say that I find a bra that fits, that’s affordable, that I like, and that does NOT give me the appearance of Back Fat – or at least, so I think. I buy the bra, I go home, and I carry on with my life. And everything is great UNTIL [for whatever reason] as soon as I put on the new said bra, and then put clothes on my body = LOOKS LIKE I HAVE BACK FAT!

No Shirt + New Bra = NO BACK FAT [in the dressing room].
Put ON a Shirt + New Bra = LOOKS LIKE I HAVE BACK FAT [in real life].

What The F*ck?

I would even be willing to wear ‘The Kind Of Bra’ that cuts so deeply into my ribcage after a mere five minutes I feel as if I am suffering from the worst case of‘Heart Burn’ simply to avoid having the ‘False Appearance’ of unsightly ‘Back Fat’.

So. Ladies. I am counting on you!

Can anyone tell me where I might find a bra that does NOT actually CREATE back fat?

Posted in Life, Links, Other Bloggers | 126 Comments

Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Eleven]

Posted on April 19, 2010 by Meleah

[Week 11: April 12th – 18th]

* For those of you who are NEW to ‘Doing Things Differently™’ you can find out HOW and WHY ‘Doing Things Different’ began simply by clicking HERE. *

‘Once Upon A Time’ A Girl Named Meleah wanted to improve the ‘Quality Of Her Life’ so she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’. And then she noticed the ‘Little Changes’ she made every day had a huge impact on her life. And even though Meleah had a few ‘Setbacks’ she kept on forging ‘Ahead’.

After completing ‘The First Four Weeks’ of ‘Doing Things Differently™’ Meleah stepped up her game by taking things to the ‘Next Level’.  She momentarily took a break to ‘Visit With An Old Friend’ but she continued ‘Doing Things Differently™’ even after things became slightly ‘Boring.’

Meleah completed ‘The Second Four Weeks’ of ‘Doing Things Differently™’ but she felt like things were becoming slightly ‘Mundane’. So, she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’ with a little more Intensity.

Onward.

As most of you already heard, Monday, was also known as ‘Third Day In A Row’ Meleah spent in bed. She was still suffering from what she thought were ‘THE WORST ALLERGIES EVER’. Her eyeballs felt like they were covered in sandpaper. Her nose would not stop running, she couldn’t stop coughing or sneezing. Her throat was sore and her glands were swollen. There was so much fluid trapped in her face, the puffiness underneath her eyes made her look as if she’s been beaten with a bag of rocks. She was extremely weak and utterly exhausted. Therefore, she was unable to put on her ‘Outfit’ and she did not dare to go ‘Outside’ because that’s where all the ‘Blooming Flowers’ and ‘Evil Pollen’ live.

Instead, a ‘Defeated’ Meleah stayed ‘Inside’ and made her ‘Daily Internet Rounds’ by reading/commenting on all of her ‘Favorite Blogs’ while falling in and out of sleep thanks to a self-induced ‘Benadryl/Dimetapp’ haze.

Tuesday, also known as ‘The Fourth Day In A Row’ Meleah spent in bed started off badly. Meleah became ‘Increasingly Agitated’ as the day progressed. She was still unable to breathe. Her head was ‘Sofa King’ congested she thought the pressure might actually cause her brain to ‘Spontaneously Combust’. Meleah was just about ready to climb the walls of her house because hasn’t had this much ‘Down Time’ in what seems like ‘Forever.’ And sitting idle for that long was literally driving her ‘Bat Shit Crazy’.

For a moment she actually considered running up and down the stairs inside her house just to achieve some level of ‘Physical Activity’. But then she realized how much that would irritate all of the ‘Other People’ who live there. Finally, it dawned on Meleah. Even though she could not put on her ‘Outfit’ or go ‘Outside’ she was still able to do 100 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 50 ‘Push-Ups’ just to ‘Burn Off’ some of her ‘Misplaced Restless Energy’ and without disrupting the entire household.

Meleah would like to ‘Thank’ all of you here on ‘The Internet’ who write wonderful ‘Blogs’ and funny ‘Status Updates’ for keeping her busy and quite entertained for ‘The Duration’ of what seemed like ‘The Longest Day In The History Of The World’ as she made her ‘Daily Internet Rounds’ by reading/commenting on all of her ‘Favorite Blogs’.

Wednesday morning, Meleah had just about enough. There was simply ‘No Way’ she could remain ‘Indoors’ for one more second. Fortunately she had a ‘Doctors Appointment’ wherein she BEGGED anyone who would listen to her ‘Desperate Cries For Help’ to please provide ‘Sweet Relief’ and ‘Right Quick.’

Much to her surprise, the doctor diagnosed Meleah with a ‘Sinus Infection’ AND an ‘Upper Respiratory Infection’ caused by her ‘Severe Allergies’.

Lovely.

When she returned from CVS wielding a ‘Bag Full Of Prescriptions’, Meleah overdosed on ‘Antibiotics’ and ‘Antihistamines’, before putting on her ‘Outfit’ and going ‘Outside’! And that’s precisely when she started ‘Day Fifty-Eight’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D58/DTD]!

Meleah walked around the block SIX TIMES in a row, for the first day, for the eleventh week in a row. And aside from the ‘Excruciating Pain’ caused by ‘Shin Splints’ she was NEVER so happy to exercise in her whole entire life. When she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 100 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 50 ‘Push-Ups’ for the second day in a row, for the seventh week in a row.

That afternoon, Meleah made her ‘Daily Internet Rounds’ by reading/commenting on all of her ‘Favorite Blogs’ for the Third Day – In A Row.

That evening Meleah was still in a lot of pain. So, she decided to do a little ‘Research’ to try and figure out how to ‘Prevent’ the ever so agonizing ‘Shin Splints’ from reoccurring. She read about using ‘Insoles’ and/or ‘Orthodics’ to alleviate ‘The Possible Pressure’ stemming from her extremely ‘High Arches’. And she believed using something like that just might do the trick. Considering Meleah didn’t have the ‘Time’ or the ‘Means’ to be ‘Fitted’ for ‘Prescription Orthodics’ she settled on purchasing ‘Gel Inserts’ rather than buying an expensive pair of new sneakers.

‘Day Fifty-Nine’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D59/DTD] otherwise known as Thursday, started at 9am when Meleah received a phone call from one of her ‘Girlfriends’ asking to ‘Join’ her on the walk. And of course Meleah obliged.

Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’ but she could only walk around the block FIVE times in a row, for the second day in a row, for the eleventh week in a row, with the wonderful company of her friend Tiffany.

Yet once again, even with the use of ‘Gel Insoles’ Meleah felt the same ‘Excruciating Pain’ from ‘Shin Splints’ and Meleah started to worry. But, when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, they both did 100 ‘Stomach Crunches’. And then Meleah did 50 ‘Push-Ups’ [alone] for the third day in a row, for the seventh week in a row.

After enjoying a ‘Leisurely Lunch’ at the ‘Country Club’ with her friends Tiffany, Jennifer and baby Mia, Meleah was still ‘Incredibly Uncomfortable’. The pain in her ‘Right Shin’ was much more ‘Intense’ then the pain she felt in her ‘Left Shin’.

Upon further inspection, Meleah noticed ‘Three, Noticeable, Large, Raised, Bumps’ directly ‘Protruding’ from ‘The Right Side’ of her ‘Right Shin’.

[Um.]

As if that wasn’t enough to freak her out, she also discovered another ‘Circular Lump’ almost ‘Free-Floating’ on the ‘Left Side’ of her ‘Right Shin.’

[What the…?]

Needless to say, Meleah became ‘Obsessed’ about figuring out what the f*ck was going on with her body as every conceivable ‘Worst Case Scenario’ played in her mind.

And it was at moment in time when Meleah literally morphed into the character ‘George Costanza’ from the television show Seinfeld.

“Is It ‘Meningitis’, ‘Scoliosis’, OMG, Is It ‘Lupus’?”

Meleah stared intensely at the ‘Never Seen Before’ ‘Bulging Swollen Protuberances’ and seriously thought: “What if these are Tumors? Or Blood Clots?”  And “OMFG! What if it’s the ‘Big C’?”

Meleah thoroughly ‘Investigated’ probable ‘Medical Conditions’ which only ‘Made Matters Worse’. After spending ‘Countless Hours’ on ‘WebMD’ and ‘Annoying’ her best friend ‘Amy The Bartender’ with her ‘Outrageous Suspicions’ she asked ‘Facebook’ for some advice.

Everyone told Meleah to ‘Rest’, apply ‘Ice’, and take some ‘Advil’. But of course she didn’t listen to anyone. Meleah thought if she just kept ‘Walking Through The Pain’, it would eventually subside. But she was wrong! Very, very, very, wrong.

Friday, also known as ‘The Day We’ve All Been Waiting For’, or,  ‘Day SIXTY of ‘Doing Things Differently’ [D60/DTD] started at 10am. And that’s exactly when ‘Doing Things Differently’ is supposed to become ‘Doing Things The Same’!

Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’ but she could only walk around the block FOUR times in a row, for the third day in a row, for the eleventh week in a row. And half way through ‘The Last Lap’ she wanted to DIE. The pain in both her legs was so brutal she almost had to resort to CRAWLING. With tears in her eyes she looked down at her legs and noticed the mysterious ‘Bumps’, ‘Lumps’ and ‘Circles’ on her ‘Right Shin’ had returned and with a vengeance.

But, when she got home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 100 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 50 ‘Push-Ups’ for the fourth day in a row, for the seventh week in a row. And then she had to ‘Ice’ her shins for several hours.

Meleah really doesn’t understand WHY she’s been able to put on her ‘Outfit’ and go ‘Outside’ and walk around the block for ‘Eleven Weeks – In A Row’ – without having ANY ‘Shin Splint Incidents’ whatsoever. But more importantly than that, she should probably consider seeing a ‘Professional’ or some kind of ‘Specialist’ regarding the ‘Very Noticeable Protruding And Painful Lumps’ sticking out of her right leg. Because she would really like for this problem to ‘Go Away’!

Saturday, SHOULD HAVE BEEN ‘Day One’ of ‘Doing Things The Same’. But sadly, Meleah was still ‘Debilitated’ and she did not want to ‘Run The Risk’ of ‘Furthering The Injury’.

Instead, she packed up her ‘Beloved Computer’ and the rest of her ‘Electronical Devices’ and headed to KHCC. Meleah spent the day ‘Laughing Out Loud’ with ‘Amy The Bartender’ and patiently waited for her brother Abercrombie to ‘Arrive’.

Sunday, Meleah managed to pull herself together and went out for an ‘Awesome Day Of Golf’. And even though she was basically ‘Crippled’ and barely made contact with the ball, she had ‘A Most Excellent Drive’ on the ‘Fourth Hole’.

And yet somehow, after all of this?  Meleah still isn’t totally satisfied with her’ Self-Imposed-Life-Altering-Challenge’.

Especially since she feels like she’s missed too many days – and too many days in a row.

Which led her to thinking.

Meleah only needs ‘Thirty More Days’, for this to become a ‘90-Day Mission’. And maybe she can pretend that ‘The First 60 Days’ were merely a form of ‘Practice’ to get herself ready for the ‘Real Challenge’.

Meleah intends to treat the next 30 days much like someone attending AA. But, instead of going to 30 meetings in 30 days, she is going to continue ‘Doing Things Differently’ for 30 Days ‘In A Row’.

NO. MATTER. WHAT.

Yanno. AFTER she visits a ‘Real Doctor’ to find out  ‘What Is Going On’ with her ‘Shin Splints’ and how to treat these ‘Mysterious Lumps’ on her legs.

Posted in Doing Things Differently, Golf, KHCC, Life, Links, Photos, Strong Medicine | 71 Comments

Just A Little Filler

Posted on April 14, 2010 by Meleah

Okay people, I am writing this blog post while ‘Under The Influence’ of a self-induced ‘Benadryl/Dimetapp Haze’. Apparently I am suffering from some kind of severe ‘Mutant Allergies’ that will not allow me to breathe whatsoever. And, I’m dealing with the kind of head/face congestion/pressure that makes it rather difficult to even think clearly.

But I promised ya’ll one blog post per week written in the ‘First Person’. And so help me, I shall deliver.

Even if I have to cheat by using ‘Videos’ and ‘Photos’ to fill this here space.

Believe me when I tell you that I really tried to come up with something funny, or witty, in between blowing my nose and hacking up a lung for your reading enjoyment. I even tried thinking of ‘The Top Ten Ways To Amuse Yourself While Stuck In Bed On Beautiful Spring Days’. Except that I could only think of ‘Two Ways’ before the medication kicked in and sent me back to the ‘Land Of Unconsciousness’.

And sadly, unlike someone else I know – I am NOT very funny when I am ‘Heavily Medicated’. Unfortunately, I don’t have any ‘Words Of Wisdom’ nor do I have anything brilliant or wonderful to say to you all.

But I do have this hilarious video, entitled ‘Are You Fucking Kidding Me’. And I think you will find the Lyrics just as funny as I did.

[Kate Miller-Heidke sings a song about old flames on Facebook.]

And I do have this hilarious photo that I like to call “Fat Guy In A Little Coat.”

Sorry people, hopefully I will feel by better next week and I will be able to regale you with something more worthwhile.

Posted in Humor, Photos, Strong Medicine, Videos | 78 Comments

Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Ten]

Posted on April 12, 2010 by Meleah

[Week 10: April 5th – 11th]

* For those of you who are NEW to ‘Doing Things Differently™’ you can find out HOW and WHY ‘Doing Things Different’ all began simply by clicking HERE. *

‘Once Upon A Time’ A Girl Named Meleah wanted to improve the ‘Quality Of Her Life’ so she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’. And then she noticed the ‘Little Changes’ she made every day had a huge impact on her life. And even though Meleah had a few ‘Setbacks’ she kept on forging ‘Ahead’.

After completing the first four weeks of ‘Doing Things Differently™’ Meleah stepped up her game by taking things to the ‘Next Level’.  Meleah momentarily took a break to ‘Visit With An Old Friend’ but she continued ‘Doing Things Differently™’ even after things became slightly ‘Boring’ and ‘Mundane’.

Onward.

Monday, otherwise known as ‘Day Fifty-Three’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D53/DTD] began at 930am. Meleah had her morning coffee while editing and uploading hundreds of photos to all of her multiple accounts. And before she knew it, it was 12:30pm.

In a panic, Meleah quickly put on her ‘Outfit’ and she went ‘Outside’. Only this time, she walked around the block SIX TIMES in a row, for the first day, for the tenth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 100 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 50 ‘Push-Ups’ for the first day, for the sixth week in a row.

For. Real.

And here’s why.

All of the nice weather we’ve been having reminded Meleah that Summer is right around the corner and if she wants to be in ‘Bathing Suit Shape’ she’s just going to have to work much harder. Especially since she is not willing to give up her ‘Love Affair’ with Brownies, or Bacon, or Cheeseburgers, or Ice Cream!

Meleah spent the rest of the day totally sore from all that ‘Extra Exercise’. But that didn’t stop her from making her ‘Daily Internet Rounds’ reading and commenting on ‘Other People’s Blogs’ and catching up with friends on Facebook.

Tuesday, otherwise known as ‘Day Fifty-Four’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D54/DTD] began at 6:30am. And that’s ONLY because it was her son’s first day ‘Back To School’ post ‘Spring Break’ and she didn’t trust him to get UP and OUT of bed on time. Luckily, her ever-so-responsible child was already showered and dressed by 6:30 so Meleah went back to sleep until 9am.

When she woke up, she momentarily forgot what decade she was in because ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ was on Television. And while she loves her some Will Smith, she is fairly certain that show hasn’t been on television since sometime in the 90’s.

After ‘Two Cups Of Coffee’ and ‘Three Loads Of Laundry’ Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside.’ And for the first time all year, this particular ‘Outfit’ consisted of SHORTS and a TANK TOP rather than her usual ‘Sweatpants’ and ‘Hoodie’.

Once again, Meleah walked around the block SIX TIMES in a row, for the second day in a row, for the tenth week in a row. But somewhere around ‘The Third Lap’ Meleah felt a sudden sharp cramp on the ‘Right Side’ of her ‘Rib Cage’ and it was like nothing she’d ever felt before. She had to stop for a few moments to catch her breath before she continued her stride. While Meleah never did figure out ‘The Cause’ of such ‘Intense Pain’ she was just glad it subsided almost as quickly as it came.

When she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 100 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 50 ‘Push-Ups’ for the second day in a row, for the sixth week in a row.  And then she finished ‘Twelve More Loads Of Laundry’.

Later that afternoon, Meleah begged her parents to “PLEASE PUT ON THE AIRCONDITIONING” because while ‘Record-Breaking-Warm-Weather’ is Meleah’s ‘Favorite Kind’ of ‘Unexpected Weather’, she is NOT A FAN when the thermostat in the house reaches well over 80 degrees. Because that means her upstairs bedroom is at least two degrees HOTTER than the actual SUN.

You see, Meleah’s bedroom receives excessive, direct, powerful, sunlight for 99% of the day and the only shades she has hanging in her room are a ‘Sheer Suggestion’ of what ‘Real Blinds’ are supposed to be. Therefore, there is absolutely nothing preventing ‘The Beaming Hot Rays’ from painting her room with sunshine. Thus she is faced with ‘Extremely Uncomfortable Temperatures’. Thankfully, her parents were merciful and the ‘Air Conditioning’ blasted ‘Icy Coolness’ throughout the house.

Wednesday, otherwise known as ‘Day Fifty-Five’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D55/DTD] began at exactly 930am. And OMFG it was already HOT outside. Like, ‘Africa Hot’. Meleah had some ‘Very Important Errands’ to take care of that simply couldn’t wait another day. And by ‘Very Important Errands’ Meleah really means she put on her ‘Bathing Suit’ and went to her backyard to ‘Get Her Tan On’ while soaking up as much ‘Vitamin D’ as possible.

That afternoon, Meleah took her son to his ‘Very First Guitar Lesson’ EVER. And it was awesome. Mind you, Meleah ONLY agreed to pay for these ‘Uber Expensive Guitar Lessons’ since her son has been diligently teaching himself via YouTube videos [every single day] for practically a year now. And because her son took the ‘Initiative’ and has remained ‘Persistent’ Meleah truly believes her son deserves to be ‘Rewarded’ for his ‘Efforts’.

After said ‘Guitar Lessons’, Meleah and her son went ‘Grocery Shopping’. And because she is ‘Doing Things Differently’ she opted to try a ‘New Store’ as opposed to going to her usual ‘FoodTown’. Meleah was ‘Immediately Thrilled’ when she was able to find a ‘Parking Space’ RIGHT IN FRONT of the store! And, she was ‘Pleasantly Surprised’ with the ‘Wide Aisles’ and ‘Splendid Selection’ of ‘Interesting’ and ‘Gormet Items’ that were very ‘Reasonably Priced.’  And that’s exactly when Meleah ‘Became A Fan’ of ‘Top Tomato’.

That evening Meleah decided to ‘Cook Dinner’ for her family. And that does not mean she ordered a Pizza. In fact, Meleah went all out and baked her famous ‘Pork Chops’ with a side of ‘Mashed Potatoes’ and ‘Fresh Steamed Sweet Peas’. And even though that’s more of a Fall/Winter kind of dish, it’s really the only meal Meleah can cook very well!

Meleah knows that cooking ‘The Same Meal’ all the time is not exactly ‘Doing Things Differently’ and during the ‘Dinner Preparations’ Meleah realized she never put on her ‘Outfit’. And that’s when it dawned on her.  She could do BOTH at the same time, and that WOULD very much be ‘Doing Things Differently’.

Meleah ‘Marinated’ and ‘Seasoned’ the said ‘Pork Chops’ full well knowing that it takes exactly 20 minutes on ‘Each Side’ of ‘The Meat’ to cook properly. And she was going to use that time wisely.

Meleah slid dinner into the oven, put on her ‘Outfit’ and raced ‘Outside’.  And, she walked around the block ‘Three Times’ in a row, for the third day in a row, for the tenth week in a row, AS FAST AS SHE POSSIBLY COULD. After all, she only had 20 minutes.

Meleah made it back home just in ‘The Knick Of Time’ to hear the timer buzzing. Meleah quickly ‘Flipped The Chops’, stirred the Mashed Potatoes’, and took a deep breath.  Then she reset the timer before sprinting back ‘Outside’.

And, she walked around the block ‘Three Times’ in a row, for the third day in a row, for the tenth week in a row – as fast as she possibly could – AGAIN.

And when she came home she thought she was going to collapse. But instead, she finished cooking dinner. [Which just happened to come out perfectly!]

Meleah spent the ‘Rest Of The Night’ making her ‘Daily Internet Rounds’ reading and commenting on ‘Other People’s Blogs’ and catching up with friends on Facebook.

Thursday, otherwise known as ‘Day Fifty-Six’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D56/DTD] started at 9am.  And it was yet another BEAUTIFUL day. [YAY!] Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’. And she walked around the block SIX TIMES in a row, for the fourth day in a row, for the tenth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 100 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 50 ‘Push-Ups’ for the third day, for the sixth week in a row.

And then she rewarded herself by getting her hair done!

Meleah considering adding some ‘Summery Highlights’ but she’s never really been able to pull off ‘Blondness’. However, she really wanted to try something new. So she traded in her raggedy-long-mop of hair for a shorter-cleaner look. And she’s very happy with the results. Maybe next month she’ll be willing to reconsider the idea of ‘Summery Highlights’.

Later that afternoon/evening Meleah spent the rest of her Thursday with Amy The Bartender, much like the author Mitch Albom spent Tuesdays With Maurie.

Friday, otherwise known as ‘Day Fifty-Seven’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D57/DTD] started at 10am. And then Meleah wondered what happened to all that nice weather? It was rainy and cold which always makes Meleah feel a little ‘Melancholy’.

Nevertheless, Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’. And she walked around the block SIX TIMES in a row, for the fifth day in a row, for the tenth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 100 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 50 ‘Push-Ups’ for the fourth day, for the sixth week in a row.

And then she congratulated herself for a job well done, by going on an all out CSV ‘Shopping Extravaganza’ wherein she spent an absurd amount of ‘Coin’ on all of the ‘Luxurious Supplies’ her heart desired. And by ‘Luxurious Supplies’ she really means the ‘Basic Essentials’ such as toilet paper, fabreeze, swiffer, shampoo, toothpaste, baby wipes and a carton of Newport 100 cigarettes.

That afternoon, Meleah went to KHCC for a late lunch and made her ‘Daily Internet Rounds’ by reading and commenting on ‘Other People’s Blogs’ while catching up with friends on Facebook.

But by Friday night, Meleah stared feeling ‘Under The Weather’.

And by Saturday morning? She felt like she was at ‘Deaths Door’.

Meleah spent The WHOLE DAY Saturday & Sunday IN BED.  Sleeping.

In fact, she’s still not feeling very well.

Posted in Doing Things Differently, KHCC, Life, Links, Strong Medicine | 61 Comments

Doing Things Differently™ – My Week In Review [Part Nine]

Posted on April 5, 2010 by Meleah

[Week 9: March 29th – April 4th ]

* For those of you who are NEW to ‘Doing Things Differently™’ or NEW to reading this blog, may I suggest you click on, and read, the links provided in the first two paragraphs of this post? I think that might clear up any confusion! Or, if you don’t have that kid of time, because seriously who does? You can find out HOW and WHY ‘Doing Things Different’ all began simply by clicking HERE. *

‘Once Upon A Time’ A Girl Named Meleah wanted to improve the ‘Quality Of Her Life’ so she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’. And then she noticed the ‘Little Changes’ she made every day had a huge impact on her life. And even though Meleah had a few ‘Setbacks‘ she kept on forging ‘Ahead’.

After completing the first four weeks of ‘Doing Things Differently™’ Meleah stepped up her game by taking things to the ‘Next Level‘.  Meleah momentarily took a break to ‘Visit With An Old Friend’ but she continued ‘Doing Things Differently™’ even after things became slightly ‘Boring’.

Side Bar:

Okay people. It’s been over ‘Two Months’ since I began my quest to ‘Get Healthy’ and that’s probably the longest amount of time I’ve ever taken on a ‘Life Altering Challenge’ and ‘Stuck With It’. Other than writing this blog, and being a Mother, I have a tendency to become bored quickly. And, I think some of you might be growing pretty tired of reading about how I put on my ‘Outfit’ and go ‘Outside’ to take a walk every morning? It’s not all that easy to turn the mundane details of my life into a ‘Riveting Read’.

I held a ‘Great Debate’ when I posed the question, ‘How Many Days In A Row’ will I have to continue ‘Doing Things Differently’ before it becomes ‘Doing Things The Same’? To which I received multiple and conflicting answers – from all of you my dear readers and friends.

At first, I thought after 30 consecutive days I could consider ‘Doing Things Differently’ as ‘Doing Things The Same’. But I was wrong. And I say that because getting up, and going on my walks nearly every day STILL FEELS very different to me. Therefore, I have decided to CONTINUE writing these kind of blog posts [once a week, every week] AT LEAST until I reach the 60 Day Mark. [Which really isn’t that far off.] So, I hope you will all bear with me, while I document the rest of this journey. Yes? Of course, to break up the monotony, I will also be posting ‘regular’ blogs and in ‘The First Person’ at least once a week every week too. M’Kay?

Onward.

Monday, otherwise known as ‘Day Forty-Six’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D46/DTD] started off at 10am when my Meleah was awoken by the sound of pelting rain hitting her bedroom window. It was the kind of ‘Dreary Day’ that practically justifies ‘Staying In Bed’.

However, since she is ‘Doing Things Differently’ Meleah agreed to ‘Rise and Shine’ if only to drive her son JCH to one of his friend’s houses. After all, he is on ‘Spring Break’ and she really wants her son to enjoy his ‘Vacation Time’. Of course, Meleah committed to this BEFORE she had any idea WHERE this friend’s house was located.

As some of you may already know Meleah is slightly ‘Driving Impaired’. And by ‘Driving Impaired’ she really means, she has a tendency for getting LOST, even within the confines of her own town. And she does not like attempting to drive in ‘Uncharted Territories’ and on ‘Unfamiliar Terrain’ especially when it’s coupled with ‘Craptastic Weather Conditions.’

Judging by the ‘Directions’ Meleah received from ‘MapQuest’, she was fairly certain she WOULD get lost, considering she had never heard of any of the street names. And, she was willing to bet money on the fact that it was probably going to take her at least 30 minutes to travel all of two miles.

And she was right.

It also probably didn’t help matters that the  ‘Defrost’ in her car isn’t working properly and therefore Meleah spent most of her time driving, while wiping the windshield with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, rather than reading the street signs.

Fortunately, for everyone in the car, Meleah’s son CAN read a map. Because during their travels it became ‘Painfully Obvious’ she definitely CANNOT read a map.

[Seriously people. To Meleah? A map just looks like a really bad drawing done by a 5 year old.]

Meleah would like to take a moment to thank her co-pilots for helping her to reach the ‘Proper Destination’. However, it was a rather ‘Unsettling Experience’ to discover two 13 year old boys have a better sense of direction than she does.

Later that afternoon, Meleah made her ‘Daily Internet Rounds’ and commented on her favorite blogs, while cleaning her room, doing the laundry, checking her emails, and scheduling doctor appointments. Just like she always does. And that’s because Meleah firmly believes in ‘Doing Things Consistently’ even if she is ‘Doing Things Differently’.

Tuesday, otherwise known as ‘Day Forty-Seven’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D47/DTD] started off around 9am.  And once again, it was pouring outside. Meleah really wished ‘The Weather’ would start ‘Doing Things Differently’ because it seems as if it’s been raining and miserable EVERY Monday and Tuesday for the last month. And, it’s enough already.

Meleah washed her face, brushed her teeth, had a cup of coffee, and proceeded to help her mother finish getting ready for a ‘Family Function’ otherwise known as ‘Passover’.  And even though it was the ‘Second Night’ and even though everyone who was supposed to come cancelled at the last minute – except for the ‘Two People’ in her family whom are often referred to as ‘The Howells’ from ‘Gilligan’s Island’, there was still a lot of work to be done.

Now, Meleah is really only a ‘Half-Jew’ or what some people might consider to be a ‘Fake-Jew’ but, she always enjoys ‘Celebrating’ the ‘Tradition’ even if she is not into ‘Religion’

Sadly, because of the ‘Festivities’ Meleah didn’t have any time that morning to put on her ‘Outfit’ and go ‘Outside’. Therefore, instead of ‘Doing Things Differently’ Meleah decided on ‘Doing Things Drastically’. Meleah got ‘Dressed-Up’ in her ‘Big Girl Clothes’ that included ‘Slacks’ as opposed to ‘Jeans’, and she even wore ‘High-Heels’. [And by ‘High-Heels’ she really means her favorite Slippers.] Meleah implemented the use of ‘Accessories’ by adding a ‘Belt’ and a ‘Necklace’. Heck, she even went as far as to apply ‘Make-Up’ complete with ‘Lipstick’. [And by ‘Lipstick’ she really just means Blistex.]

Meleah was very proud of herself for making it through the entire Sedar while dressed in her ‘Real Clothes’. Because any one who knows Meleah knows that she usually attends ‘Family Functions’ and/or ‘Holidays’ while wearing ‘Sweat Pants’.

Meleah enjoyed a wonderful evening celebrating Passover 2010 with some of her family members, and her son’s two friends who were invited at the last minute to fill the empty seats. Of course, by the end of dinner, Meleah could not get into her ‘Pajamas’ fast enough.

Before going to bed that night, Meleah felt that all too ‘Familiar Rumble’ in her stomach. After her second trip to the bathroom she realized she probably shouldn’t have eaten that ‘Third Plate’ full of Brisket.

‘Day Forty-Eight’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D48/DTD] otherwise known as Wednesday, began at 8am with the annoying sound of Meleah’s alarm clock. But, since she was up most of the night editing photos and writing, she didn’t fall asleep until after 4am. So, she reset her clock and went back to bed. Meleah woke up AGAIN around 10am. And even though she was still very groggy, she got up and out of bed. After she washed her face, and drank some coffee, she was pleasantly surprised to see that it had finally stopped raining.

Meleah was never so happy to put on her ‘Outfit’ and go ‘Outside’. She walked around the block, five times in a row, for the first day, for the ninth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the first day, for the fifth week in a row.

Meleah spent the rest of her day enjoying a good read. She found herself laughing out loud. A lot.  Because this is one very funny book, and it just so happens to be written by one of her favorite authors.

Thursday, otherwise known as ‘Day Forty-Nine’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D49/DTD] began at 10am. And oh what a beautiful day it was. The weather had finally changed from ‘Miserable Rain’ to ‘Glorious Sunshine’ and Meleah couldn’t wait to take full advantage of it.

Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’ and she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the second day in a row, for the ninth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the second day in a row, for the fifth week in a row.

And then she spent the ‘Rest Of The Day’ [and Night] with her Best Friend ‘Amy The Bartender’ at her favorite local Country Club otherwise known as KHCC, laughing, joking, and stuffing her face full of food.

Friday, otherwise known as ‘Day Fifty’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D50/DTD] started at 10am and once again, Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’ and she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the third day in a row, for the ninth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the third day in a row, for the fifth week in a row.

And then her ‘Seasonal Allergies’ wreaked havoc. Meleah couldn’t stop sneezing, sniffling, or coughing. Meleah felt so sick and so exhausted from all the medication she couldn’t even enjoy the day. She spent her time indoors watching back-to-back movies all the while wanting to rip her face off.

Later that evening, Meleah spent ‘Quality Time’ with her 13-year-old-son, and for THE FIRST TIME EVER? SHE BEAT HIM AT VIDEO GAMES!

Saturday, SHOULD HAVE BEEN ‘Day Fifty-One’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D51/DTD]. But Meleah still didn’t feel too good. So, she decided to ‘Take The Day Off’. That is until that evening, when her brother Abercrombie came down for his weekly visit. Meleah, and her brother, and her son, embarked on a miniature ‘Shopping Spree’ at the local mall. And that was very much ‘Doing Things Differently’ for Meleah because she would rather SET HERSELF ON FIRE than set foot inside of THE MALL!

Seriously.

When they returned home, the three of them, along with Meleah’s Mother, watched ‘The Stupidest Movie’ of All Time, otherwise known as ‘Team America World Police’. But, even though it was an awful movie, Meleah never laughed so hard in her entire life. Watching her brother and her son have such a good time together literally made her heart sing.

Sunday, otherwise known as ‘Day Fifty-Two’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D52/DTD] started precisely at 930am. And while Meleah did NOT get dressed in her ‘Regular Outfit’, she did get dressed up in her new ‘Golfing Attire’.

Meleah spent her time enjoying another ‘Day Of Golf’ [for the third week in a row] with her brother ‘Abecrombie’, her Best Friend  ‘Amy The Bartender’, her pretend Sister In Law ‘Suzy Mazz’, and a surprise ‘Guest Appearance’ was made by the one and only ‘Crazy-Eyed-Shady-Ninja’, otherwise known as ‘Nightingale’.

Meleah is happy to report that she played better than she had the previous two weeks and she is finally starting to LOOK THE PART of Golfer. But more on that another day!

And, that’s a wrap.

Posted in Doing Things Differently, Driving, Family, Friends, Golf, Holidays, KHCC, Life, Links, Photos, Religion | 69 Comments

Trying To Find My ‘Swing’

Posted on March 31, 2010 by Meleah

First, I would like to mention one of the most ‘Kick Ass People’ I have EVER *met*. A big fat ‘Thank You’ goes out to my friend Gina, for giving me This Award. Seriously, her and I have so much in common, I think I may have found my ‘Twin’!

Now, as some of you may already know, I just started playing Golf last summer.

Well, that’s not entirely true.

Let me give you some back-story.

When I was a little girl my mother used to send me, and my younger brother Abercrombie, to Daytona Beach in Florida to spend the summers with my grandparents Manga and Poppa Sye. My grandmother Manga spoiled us with her delicious ‘Liverwurst Sandwiches’ and her famous homemade ‘Polpetta Soup’. And my grandfather Poppa Sye was in charge of teaching us how to play golf, and taking us out to the ‘Country Club’.

My brother and I absolutely loved spending the summers with them. But that’s another blog post for another time. Now, I haven’t really played the game of golf since I was around 11 years old. And that’s because I quit, mostly due to the fact that my younger brother always won. And I really hated losing to him.

So, fast-forward to last summer.

Some of ‘The Girls’ from my local Country Club [KHCC] started playing golf on a regular basis. And I would go out with them, but only to play the role of Paparazzi. I never dared to pick up a club. That is until one day, when ‘Amy The Bartender’ made me take a swing. Much to everyone’s surprise, I was NOT terrible. I suppose some of what I had learned as a child stuck with me. And that’s when it became clear my ‘Inner Athlete’ was still very much alive. I spent the rest of that summer enjoying the game and playing nearly every weekend.

That being said, I really couldn’t wait for the ‘Golfing Season’ to start this year. I was even more excited because for the first time since we were kids, my brother would be joining us. Little did I know the ‘Psychological Effect’ having my brother ‘On The Course’ would have over me.

The first time we went out to ‘Play Golf’, my girlfriends Suzy Mazz, and ‘Amy The Bartender’ totally reaped the benefits of having my brother Abercrombie present because he was more than helpful. In fact, he instructed them so well, it was just like they were receiving ‘Private Lessons’.

But when the time came for my brother to help me?

That’s when the difficulties began.

I was completely awkward. I felt almost as if I had never swung a golf club in my entire life.

Which is clearly demonstrated in the photographs below:

No matter what my brother told me, I kept ‘Popping Up’ on my back swing, rather than ‘Staying Down’.

I heard his words loud and clear, and I understood exactly what he was saying, but it felt completely unnatural for my body to stay in the ‘Correct Position’.

Fortunately, no one was hurt.

Amy and Suzy continued to receive advice from my brother. And they both did a great job. They were easily able to implement all of the ‘Knowledge’ my brother shared with them and rather quickly. I was highly impressed when they both made Par on the Third Hole.

Sadly. Yours truly did not do so well.

Seriously people. All day long, my game went more like this:
A ‘Swing’ and a ‘Miss.’ [insert cursing.] Another ‘Swing’ and another ‘Miss.’ [insert MORE cursing.] Another ‘Swing and a near ‘Miss.’ [insert almost crying and MORE cursing.]

‘Rinse And Repeat’.

According to my brother, I was ‘Choking Down’ way too much on the club because my ‘Grip’ was wrong.

And my brother was absolutely right.

Because….

It was nothing short of a Miracle when I actually made Contact with the ball.

And even though it really took us FOUR HOURS to play a mere SIX HOLES we enjoyed each other’s company and we certainly laughed a lot.

The second time we went out to ‘Play Golf’, my brother was more than happy to join us again. Honestly, he must have the patience of a ‘Saint’ to be able to withstand teaching three ‘Newbies’ that move very, very, very, very, very, very slowly around the course. And who like to take many, many, many, many, many, many, many  ‘Do-Over’ swings and shots.

Once again, Amy and Suzy learned a lot from my brother and they both did very well.

And once again, I was out of sorts.

My grip was still wrong, my stance was way off, and my swing was absolutely disastrous.

I looked more like I was fleeing from the ‘Scene Of A Crime’ than ‘Playing Golf’.

Seriously?

As much as I would like to blame my ridiculous stance, crazy bent knees, and my horrendous swing on the fact that I am wearing one too many layers of clothing since it was probably only 30 degrees outside. I simply can’t.

I also tried to disguise my ‘Total Lack Of Motor Skills’ by at least sporting a Matching Set of Burberry earmuffs and scarf in hopes that the other people would become too distracted by the pretty pattern and forget all about the fact that I kept MISSING THE BALL!

Now, I was becoming increasingly frustrated.

I really couldn’t figure out WHY this was happening to me every single time my brother came any where near me.

At one point, I almost gave up completely. I thought it might be better for everyone if I just stayed in the cart taking photos.

But, I am not a quitter.

Not by any stretch of the imagination.

When I am determined to accomplish something, come HELL or HIGH WATER, I will reach my goal!

Then, suddenly it dawned on me. I used to have this exact problem when I was a little kid. It’s the very reason I quit the sport all together. For whatever reason, as soon as I realize my brother is watching me? I cannot hit the ball. I just can’t.

So, I told Abercrombie that he was NOT ALLOWED to come near me, or talk to me, or even LOOK at me while I tried to hit the next ball.

And he obliged.

Moments later, as if my magic, I got my swing back.

At least a little.

I felt completely different without the stare from my brother’s eyes on me. Thankfully, everything my brother had been trying to teach me sunk into my brain. I remembered to rotate my body rather than ‘Pop Up’ and I kept my weight on my left foot. I remembered NOT to ‘break my wrists’ during my back swing. And I tried my very best to ‘Stay Down’.

Eventually I made a few good shots.

I even had one ‘Excellent Drive’ on the Fifth Hole.

And sometimes, you just need that ‘One Good Hit’ to make all the difference in your game.

Because after that? I was able to find my center. And, I did MUCH better.

I am absolutely looking forward to improving my skills and playing as often as possible. And of course, my brother is more than welcome to join us ANYTIME he wants. Just as long as he does not look at me while I am taking a swing! And for obvious ‘Safety Reasons’ he probably shouldn’t stand too close to me either.

Posted in Awards, Family, Friends, Golf, KHCC, Life, Links, Other Bloggers, Photos | 96 Comments

‘Doing Things Differently™’ – My Week In Review [Part Eight]

Posted on March 28, 2010 by Meleah

[Week 8: March 22nd – 28th]

* For those of you who are NEW to ‘Doing Things Differently™’ or NEW to reading this blog, may I suggest you click on, and read, the links provided in the first two paragraphs of this post? I think that might clear up any confusion! *

‘Once Upon A Time’ A Girl Named Meleah wanted to improve the ‘Quality Of Her Life’ so she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’. And then she noticed the ‘Little Changes’ she made every day had a huge impact on her life. And even though Meleah had a few ‘Setbacks‘ she kept on forging ‘Ahead’.

After completing the first four weeks of ‘Doing Things Differently™’ Meleah stepped up her game by taking things to the ‘Next Level‘.  Meleah momentarily took a break to ‘Visit With An Old Friend’ but she continued ‘Doing Things Differently™’.

[Oh, please be forewarned, this is possibly ‘The Most Boring’ and ‘Uneventful’ Blog Post – Ever Written. Seriously people. Nothing happened last week. And by nothing, I really mean NOTHING. Many Apologies.]

Onward.

Monday, also known as ‘Day Forty’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D40/DTD] began at 9am. Now, normally, Monday’s are Meleah’s ‘Get $h*t Done Day’. And by getting shit done she really means: she cleans her room, she does the laundry, she answers emails, she returns phone calls, she schedules doctors appointments, she cooks dinner for her family, and she generally ‘Takes Care of Business.’

However, since Meleah played golf last Sunday she was incredibly sore beyond belief. And that made getting out of bed ‘Practically Impossible.’ And by ‘Practically Impossible’, she means really means ‘Absolutely Unachievable’. So, Meleah opted to ‘Do Nothing’ on that day. Which was very much ‘Doing Things Differently’ for a Monday. Considering it was pouring rain outside, that kind of weather only made staying in pajamas and reading her favorite blogs – all the more fantastic.

Unfortunately, that evening Meleah STILL didn’t get to sleep until well after 3am. AGAIN. And, quite frankly? She is really getting sick of having Insomnia. No matter how many times she tossed and turned she could not shut off her brain, or stop the ‘Racing Thoughts’ from galloping through her head.

Tuesday, otherwise known as ‘Day Forty-One’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D41/DTD] began at 11:35am. Meleah woke up just in the ‘Knick Of Time’, for that day to ‘Qualify’ as ‘Doing Things Differently’ because as we’ve discussed many times before, as long as Meleah gets UP and out of bed prior to noon, its still indeed a ‘Victory’.

And, even though it was raining outside, and even though Meleah still felt extreme soreness, she put on her ‘Outfit’ and she went ‘Outside’. And, she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the first day, for the eighth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the first day, for the fourth week in a row.

Later that afternoon, Meleah ‘Got Busy’ dealing with all of her ‘Responsibilities’. The very responsibilities she ignored the day before. She felt a genuine sense of accomplishment every time she finished a task on her ‘To Do List’ especially since she didn’t really WANT to do any of them.

Of course, that evening, once again, Meleah found herself WIDE AWAKE, at an unreasonable hour. She has been desperately trying [for seven consecutive weeks] to convert from a ‘Night Person’ into a ‘Day Person’ and sadly, she has been rather unsuccessful.

So this time, instead of arguing with her body and fighting to force-sleep, Meleah remembered that she is ‘Doing Things Differently’ when she decided to listen to her ‘Internal Clock’. Meleah figured out just how to put her bout with Insomnia to ‘Good Use’. And then something almost ‘Magical’ happened.

MELEAH STARTED WRITING AGAIN

And by writing again, she really means she took out that ‘Book Project’ she started working on what seems like forever ago, and dusted off the cobwebs.

While she did NOT make very much ‘Headway’ that particular evening, she DID re-read through her entire rough draft, and hated almost every word of it. However, in doing so, Meleah finally rediscovered her ‘Motivation’ and ‘Inspiration.’ She is ready to make ‘The Commitment’ to devote most of her focus back to that very project. Because that’s exactly where her focus belongs.

When Meleah got into bed some time after 3am, she was able to close her eyes, for the first time, without hearing ‘All That Noise’ in her head. And she fell into a deep and peaceful slumber.

‘Day Forty-Two’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D42/DTD] otherwise known as Wednesday, was off to a brilliant start at 1130am. The sun was shining and the skies were blue again. Meleah jumped out of bed with an extra little ‘Skip In Her Step’. She brushed her teeth, and had a cup of coffee before she put on her ‘Outfit’ and she went ‘Outside’. Meleah, and her mom, walked around the block, five times in a row, for the second day in a row, for the eighth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, Meleah did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the second day in a row, for the fourth week in a row. And she felt terrific.

Meleah spent the ‘Rest Of The Day’ running errands and driving all over the land. Unfortunately, nothing really ‘Blog Worthy’ occurred during any of her travels.

In a ‘Shocking Turn Of Events’ Meleah found herself ‘Unusually’ and ‘Extremely’ tired at the normal hour of 11pm. So, she climbed into bed, turned on her favorite ‘Late Night Talk Show’ otherwise known as ‘Chelsea Lately’ and FELL ASLEEP before the ending credits!

Thursday, otherwise known as ‘Day Forty-Three’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D43/DTD] began sharply at 9am. Meleah never felt so refreshed, so alive, and so happy to start her day. Meleah dutifully put on her ‘Outfit’ and she went ‘Outside’. And she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the third day in a row, for the eighth week in a row. In good news, it seems as if her lungs are finally adjusting to ‘Multi-Tasking’. And by ‘Multi-Tasking’ Meleah really means ‘Walking’ and ‘Breathing’ and ‘At The Same Time.’ Because that was ‘The First Day’ over the course of the last 43 Days, that Meleah did NOT get winded during her walk. At least, not until the ‘Last Lap’.

An ever so enthusiastic Meleah came home, and, rather than smoking a cigarette, Meleah did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the third day in a row, for the fourth week in a row.

Now, the author Mitch Albom chose to spend his Tuesdays With Maurie, and Meleah is following in his footsteps by spending her ‘Thursdays With Amy.’ And by Amy, Meleah really means ATB. So Meleah spent the ‘Rest Of The Day’ hanging out with her friends at ‘KHCC’. Yet once again, nothing very ‘Eventful’ or remotely ‘Blog Worthy’ occurred. Well, nothing other than a multitude of ‘Inside Jokes.’

Friday, otherwise known as ‘Day Forty-Four’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D44/DTD] began at 10am. It was cloudy and rainy and crappy outside. Again. Nonetheless, Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and she went ‘Outside’. And she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the fourth day in a row, for the eighth week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, Meleah did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the fourth day in a row, for the fourth week in a row.

And then Meleah attended to some ‘Personal Business’ she prefers not to share with The Internet. At least, not just yet.

Saturday, Meleah spent her day with her brother Abercrombie and her nephew MDW. And that was not really ‘Doing Things Differently’. So, let’s just say she ‘Took The Day Off.’

On Sunday, Meleah ‘Got Back In The Saddle Again’ and kicked off ‘Day Forty-Five’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D45/DTD] at 11:30am. Ordinarily, Meleah likes to enjoy a ‘Lazy Sunday’ but rather than lounging around, reading books, or writing blog posts, Meleah agreed to Play Golf AGAIN, and in the bitter-freezing-highly-windy-weather-conditions [not to mention the intermittent RAIN].

And a lot of things happened that day which ARE ‘Blog Worthy’ except that Meleah is probably going to save that ‘Material’ for another day.

And that’s a wrap.

Stay tuned later this week for a blog post written in The First Person!

Posted in Doing Things Differently, KHCC, Life, Links, Off The Pole, Photos | 45 Comments

Public Service Announcement – TMI Style

Posted on March 25, 2010 by Meleah

I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to find the words to say this tactfully. In fact, I almost did not write about the little incident I am about to share with you, because things like this should probably stay private. However, I have decided to throw caution to the wind, along with most of my dignity.

It’s no secret that I spend a lot of time in the bathroom. [Thanks, Crohn’s Disease.] And, because of that I am usually fully prepared for any sort of ‘Intestinal Situation’.

Except for the day that I wasn’t.

It was a typical day here in Suburbia. The weather was nice, the sun was shining, and everything was seemingly all right in my little corner of the world. That is, until I ate something that sent my stomach into ‘Downward Spiral’. And by downward spiral, I mean I started writhing in pain, as beads of sweat formed a perfect line on my forehead. I knew the inevitable was about to happen so I raced to the bathroom and unleashed the pressure that can only be described as ‘Firewater From Hell.’ It was as if my stomach had transformed into a blender and it was stuck on the ‘Puree’ setting. As I practically evacuated  everything I had ever eaten in the last year of my life, I prayed to the bathroom gods to ‘please make it stop’ and right quick.

Finally, after what seemed like forever times infinity, the waves of sickness began to subside.

Imagine my horror when I reached over to grab some toilet paper only to see an empty roll of cardboard. What The What? I mean really. Who finishes a roll of toilet paper without replacing it? Fortunately I was using my ‘Home Base Facility’. So, I figured I would be able to lean over far enough to reach underneath the sink cabinet to pull out a fresh roll.

After successfully maneuvering my body, I put my ‘Super Arm Stretch Capabilities’ to good use, and opened the cabinet without falling off the toilet. Sadly, and much to my surprise, there wasn’t ANY toilet paper to be found whatsoever.

Lovely.

I was just about ready to start panicking when I remembered that I always have a ‘Secret Supply’ of ‘Baby Wipes’ handy in the bathroom for an occasion such as this. So, I reached behind the toilet bowl where I normally keep my stock at all times. Alas, there weren’t any of those either.

Wonderful.

Now what am I supposed to do?

I began darting my eyes in rapid motion scouring the bathroom for any kind of ‘Material’ I could use to ‘Clean –Up’ with. And just when I was about to jump in the shower as a last resort, I spotted a box of tissues out of the corner of my eyes.

Hallelujah.

I stood up, grabbed the box, and yanked out fistfuls of soft tissues.

Ah yes.

Tragedy Averted.

Or so I thought.

What happened next is completely indescribable.

So I can only give you some advice. And trust me people; you should take this ‘Public Service Announcement’ very seriously.

* If you ever find yourself stuck in a bathroom, with no toilet paper to be found, DO NOT, and I repeat DO NOT use ‘Puff Plus Tissues with Vicks Vapor Action’  as a substitute. Do yourself a favor, and look for ANYTHING else. As there is a very good chance you may never recover from that experience.

* Because even after you take a freezing cold shower to stop the incessant burning, you might still end up feeling like the character ‘Cheryl David’ on the ‘Wandering Bear’ [Season 4, Episode 8] of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ and lose all feeling ‘Down Under’.

You’re welcome.

Posted in Humor, Life, Links | 160 Comments

Doing Things Differently™’ – My Week In Review [Part Seven]

Posted on March 22, 2010 by Meleah

[Week 7: March 15th-21st]

* For those of you who are NEW to ‘Doing Things Differently™’ or NEW to reading this blog, may I suggest you click on, and read, the links provided in the first two paragraphs of this post? I think that might clear up any confusion!*

‘Once Upon A Time’ A Girl Named Meleah wanted to improve the ‘Quality Of Her Life’ so she started ‘Doing Things Differently™’. And then she noticed the ‘Little Changes’ she made every day had a huge impact on her life. And even though Meleah had a few ‘Setbacks‘ she kept on forging ‘Ahead’.

After completing the first four weeks of ‘Doing Things Differently™’ Meleah stepped up her game by taking things to the ‘Next Level.’ Meleah momentarily took a break to ‘Visit With An Old Friend’ but she continued ‘Doing Things Differently’.

Onward.

‘Day Thirty-Three’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D33/DTD] otherwise known as Monday, began at exactly 1:06 am. Because that’s precisely when the electricity in her house was finally restored. And after surviving a very ‘Difficult Three Days’ Meleah now knows that she is truly capable of handling just about anything. Even ‘In The Dark’. Meleah was so happy to have the power back ON in her household she spent half of the night doing ‘Jumping Jacks’ and ‘Cartwheels’.

She made all of her ‘Daily Internet Rounds’. She caught up with all of her ‘Favorite Blogs’. And then she finally slept, and, slept, and, slept, and slept, and slep, and slept. [And now the word ‘slept’ doesn’t even look [or sound] like a ‘Real Word’ anymore.] But, it was definitely ‘The Best Sleep’ Meleah has ever had. And by ‘The Best Sleep Ever’ she really means she was up until 4am battling ‘Insomnia’.

Tuesday, otherwise known as ‘Day Thirty-Four’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D34/DTD] began at 930am, when for the first time ‘In The History Of The World’, her mother woke Meleah up, by bringing her a cup of coffee. What? [Thanks Mom!]

The two of them put on their ‘Outfits’ and went ‘Outside’ and much to their surprise they found ‘The Sun Shining’. And after four days of nothing but rain, and more rain, and more rain, followed by even MORE rain, the warmth of the Sun seemed especially glorious. With iPods in place, and no coats, they walked around the block, five times in a row, for the first day, for the seventh week in a row.

And when Meleah came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the first day, for the third week in a row. And she thinks she might be starting to see ‘Results’.

That evening Meleah’s ‘Favorite Uncle’ also known as ‘Uncle Rick’ came down to enjoy a Family Dinner. And they had an awesome time. For personal reasons she cannot disclose publicly, Meleah will now and FOREVER ‘Laugh Out Loud’ whenever she sees any kind of ‘Plastic Eggs’.

‘Day Thirty-Five’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D35/DTD] otherwise known as Wednesday, Meleah’s mom woke her up at 8am and with another cup of ‘Caffeinated Goodness’ and Meleah thinks she could really get used to that kind of ‘Coffee Service’.

Once again, the two of them put on their ‘Outfits’ and went ‘Outside’. And, they walked around the block, five times in a row, for the second day in a row, for the seventh week in a row, all the while basking in the sunlight.

And when Meleah came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the second day in a row, for the third week in a row.

Later that afternoon Meleah was supposed to meet ‘Amy The Bartender’ for a round of golf. However due to flooding issues, sadly, the course was closed. So, Amy and Meleah planned on going to the driving range. Because Meleah really needs to ‘Get Her Swing On’ before she attempts to play golf again. Unfortunately, Amy forgot she already had a hair appointment booked that very day which interfered with their plans. So, Meleah ended up ‘Doing Her Laundry’ instead.

And later that night, ONCE AGAIN, Meleah tossed and tuned and begged for mercy from the ‘Sleep Gods’. Alas, she was unable to close her eyes and shut off her brain until somewhere after 430am.

Thursday, otherwise known as ‘Day Thirty-Six’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D36/DTD] started sharply at Noon. And Meleah was going to feel badly about sleeping so late. Except that she hadn’t slept for ‘Three Nights In A Row’ and her body REALLY needed the rest.

So Meleah put on her ‘Outfit’ and went ‘Outside’. And, she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the third day in a row, for the seventh week in a row, while the sun gleamed brightly.

It was so warm and so nice outside, after the second lap around the block, Meleah realized she probably shouldn’t have worn a sweatshirt because this chick was sweating like pig. And even though she was exhausted, when Meleah came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the third day in a row, for the third week in a row.

After a much-needed shower Meleah’s was surprised to discover she ALMOST fit in her ‘Favorite Jeans’ again. And by ‘Almost’ she really means as long as she tried zipping them up with a pair of pliers.

Friday, otherwise known as ‘Day Thirty-Seven’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D37/DTD] didn’t start off very well, considering Meleah thought she had a terrible head cold. But as it turned out, she was now suffering from a ‘Severe Case Of Allergies’.

Meleah spent the ‘Rest Of The Day’ in search of the proper ‘Medication Combination’ to cure the incessant sneezing, sniffling, stuffiness that made her head feel as if it was going to explode. Sadly, the medications she took made her incredibly groggy and coupled with a ‘Four Night Stretch of Insomnia’ Meleah simply didn’t have the strength to put on her ‘Outfit’ or go ‘Outside.’

But thankfully, later that evening, she managed to get her allergies somewhat under control long enough for her to enjoy a ‘Girls Night Out.’

‘Day Thirty-Eight’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ or [D38/DTD] otherwise known as Saturday, began at 10am. Meleah felt much better than she did the day before and she couldn’t resist the temptation of going outside to soak up the ‘Ridiculously Amazing Weather Conditions.’

So she put on a NEW ‘Outfit’ and one that included a t-shirt as opposed to a sweatshirt, and she went ‘Outside.’ And she walked around the block, five times in a row, for the fourth day, for the seventh week in a row. And when she came home, rather than smoking a cigarette, she did 50 ‘Stomach Crunches’ and 10 ‘Push-Ups’ for the fourth day, for the third week in a row.

That evening her brother Abercrombie came down for another ‘Family-Fun-Filled-Weekend’. And this time, they had electricity! So Meleah, JCH, and Abercrombie spent the night watching back-to-back movies, and laughing hysterically until 2 in the morning.

Sunday, which is normally the day Meleah sits around and ‘Does Nothing’ – suddenly became ‘Day Thirty-Nine’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’ otherwise known as [D39/DTD] at 1030 am when she happily sprung out of bed.

And even though Meleah did not put on her ‘Outfit’ and go ‘Outside’ to take her morning walk, she was VERY much ‘Doing Things Differently’ when she rummaged through her entire closet in search of ‘Appropriate Golf Attire’.

And by ‘Appropriate Golf Attire’ Meleah really means the only ‘Athletic Clothes’ that remotely fit her.

And by ‘Athletic Clothes’ she really means a ‘Socially Acceptable Sweatsuit’ she bought last year from Target.

And by ‘Socially Acceptable Sweatsuit’ Meleah really means ‘Pajamas That Just Look Like A Sweatsuit’.

But then Meleah realized that everyone who goes to her Country Club/Golf Course has already seen her in that very ‘Outfit’ [several times] and they are all fully aware that ‘Outfit’ is in fact ‘Pajamas’.

So Meleah finally settled on wearing ‘Gray Cargo Pants’ and a ‘Navy Blue Polo’.

Eventually, Meleah is SERIOUSLY going to need to invest in some ACTUAL Golf Clothes. And by Eventually, Meleah really means IMMEDIATLEY.

Meleah and ‘Amy The Bartender’ met up at KHCC to play the very ‘Game Of Golf’ they had been trying to play since Wednesday. To round out the Foursome: Meleah’s brother Abercrombie happily joined, as did a mutual friend Suzy. And they all had a GREAT time! Even if it took FOUR AND A HALF HOURS to play Nine Holes. And by Nine Holes, Meleah REALLY MEANS Six.

[See all of the Golfing photos HERE!]

And that’s a wrap!

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