HUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!

Buckle up, bitches.

This is going to be a long post.

Make yourself a sandwich.
Grab yourself a cocktail.
And strap in.

Monday, November 7, the first day after turning the clock back to Eastern Standard Time = The biggest *shit show* in the 48 years I’ve been alive on this planet.

And here’s why…

It was 8:00am and already 78 muggy/humid fucking degrees. IN NOVEMBER.

Apparently, I forgot to set my alarm (or I accidentally hit the off button instead of snooze) and I did not wake up until 7:30. But luckily, the first patient wasn’t coming into the office until 8:30am = I got ready faster than I’ve ever gotten ready in my entire life (thank God I took a shower and shaved my legs and conditioned my hair the night before) and I flew out of my house — with a barely enough caffeine to see straight or drive in the proper lane.

On my three minute commute to work there was a detour because of road construction adding an additional three minutes to my commute.

When I got to work only half of the lights were working. The phones were down. And our electronic health record system (EHR) was not functional, whatsoever.

The desk-top version of our EMR (electronic medical records) called “EClinicals” was stuck on an endless rainbow wheel spinning + giving error, error, error, error, errors that you couldn’t X-out-of.

To bypass the “desktop Eclinicals” our front desk captain (also the person who should probably be our office manager) had to manually install the “Eclinicals iCloud”onto every computer inside every patient room — which took at least a solid 15 minutes per each computer/ per each patient room because it took that long waiting to “build your experience” before optimal usage.

Once the “Eclinicals iCloud”was installed? Nobody knew how the fuck to navigate it because it’s completely different from the desktop version.

Because our phone system was down?
And because our EMR system was down (and the iCloud version sucked)?

=

We could not receive incoming calls, nor could we make outgoing calls — unless it was from our personal cell phones — which patients didn’t recognize and therefore didn’t answer. (And now they have our cell phone numbers so when they can’t get through to the office they can call us on our cell phones directly!!)

We could not print, receive, or send faxes.
We could not send any electronic prescriptions.

That entire scenario lasted until about 12:30 PM.

Then things kind of got normal for the afternoon.

I clocked out of work at 4:15 PM.

And that’s precisely when my doctor/boss asked me to stay to help train the new MA giving an EKG and B12 injections until 4:45 PM. Which, of course I did, because I totally love my job, and I totally love this new MA, and I’m a total team player, so I had no problem working “for free” for a half an hour.

When I left work at 4:45 to head to school?

[FYI — when you leave work 15 minutes later than usual— that causes a drastic difference in traffic volume.]

First I was stuck behind a truck doing 30 mph in a 50 mph for 4 1/2 miles in a no passing lane zone.

Once I was on route 520 I proceeded to hit Every. Single. Red. Light.
EVERY. SINGLE. RED. LIGHT.

I finally made it to campus by 5:30 PM.
And then I was thrown waist deep into the muscular system in my anatomy and physiology laboratory.

After class ended at 7:30pm I stayed late to find out what I did wrong on that motherfucking goddamn “bones practical” to see why I got an 84!

I already knew I totally **shit the bed** on four questions (because I was so distracted by two previous questions I wasn’t concentrating on the current material in front of my face) which **would have** left me with a 92%

In a prior email my professor told me that I was going to be very upset with my “simple mistakes”. And he was right. My mistakes, were in fact spelling. Instead of writing mediaN sacral crest, I wrote mediaL sacral crest. I WROTE AN “L” INSTEAD OF AN “N” — so that’s 2 points off my grade — FML. I also wrote for the group of bones on your foot as “tarsal” instead of “tarsalS” I forgot to add the S and pluralize; so I lost another 2 points. FML.FML.FML.

On my drive home from campus?
I got stuck behind another driver — in a no passing zone — who ALSO drove 35MPH in a 55MPH for 17 miles.

When I got home, I ripped off my scrubs, washed my face, put on my pajamas, and curled to my sofa to relax.

That’s when I went into my email inbox and accidentally selected DELETE ALL … and then I immediately went to trash and selected DELETE ALL as well. So emails that I’ve been saving for years, including the sentimental ones, are now gone forever.

So ….how was YOUR day??

I am climbing into bed.
And, I am praying — on all things holy — that tomorrow will be much better.

That is all.

Stay tuned.

Love,
M

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REVISED FALL SCHEDULE… 2022

*Monday’s = 

Get up at 5:30am + work from 9-5pm (triage 25 patients) + drive straight to campus for Anatomy and Physiology Laboratory 6-8pm. Get home by 9pm = take off scrubs/wash my face/pajamas + scarf down some food + watch one episode of Jimmy Fallon + sleep by 11pm.

*Tuesday’s = 

Get up at 7am pre-write “HPI” notes for work + check emails + canvas + then work from 10-5pm (triage 17 patients). Come home = take off scrubs/wash face /pajamas + make dinner + review anatomy and physiology lab info + watch tv + pass out.

*Wednesday’s =

Get up at 7am: take a shower/dressed + check emails/canvas + have coffee etc. Leave my house by 10:30am + get to campus by 11am = Go to the “Math Lab” and study for the MATH TEAS test until 5pm. Scarf down a protein bar and THEN go to Anatomy and Physiology Lecture 6-9PM. Get home 10pm = wash face / pajamas + stuff my face +  pass the fuck out.

*Thursday’s =

Get up at 7am: shower/dress/coffee/news +  pre-write the notes for work. Work from 10-5pm (triage 17 patients). Race home take off my scrubs/wash face/ pajamas + THEN = jump on a Psychology Zoom class 6-9pm + watch tv until I pass out.

(BUT NOW?? ON EXAM DAYS? = Work from 10-5 (triage 20-22 patients) eat a snack, listen to lecture AT WORK and then TAKE EXAM from 9-10:30pm AT WORK – because MY computer is too old to download “LOCKDOWN RESPONDUS BROWSER” to take exams at home) Get home at 11pm = take off scrubs/wash face/pajamas PASS OUT.)

*Friday’s =

Wake up at 8am + have coffee, etc. Run to grocery store, pick up essentials & unload food + take out trash. Study psychology from 12-8pm. Breathe. Watch a movie. Go to bed by 11pm.

*Saturday’s

SLEEP IN DAY!! Wake up 10 am and study ALL things Anatomy and Physiology LECTURE.

*Sunday’s

Wake up at 8am = clean whole house +  laundry + study ALL things Anatomy and Physiology LAB + study the TEAS SCIENCE section!

[ZERO “days off” to do nothing]

It will be a miracle, if I am able to shave my legs for this entire semester!!

That is all.
Carry on.

Love,
M

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Fall Semester — 2022

Okay, folks.

Here we go again!

I’m about to embark upon another semester of college and here’s what my schedule will look like…

Mondays = Wake up at 6 am + shower/dress/get ready. Work 9am-5pm (triaging 23 to 25 patients) then drive straight to campus campus for Anatomy and Physiology LAB from 6 to 8 PM. Home by 9 PM. Scarf down food. Wash face + brush teeth + put on pajamas + watch one episode of a TV show + pass out by 11pm.

Tuesdays = Wake up at 7am + shower + dress + get ready + pre-write the notes for work at home. Work 11am-5pm (triaging 13-17 patients). Come home & make dinner + put on pajamas + watch a TV show + pass out by 10pm.

Wednesdays = Wake up at 7am study Anatomy and Physiology homework/review from Mondays LAB + study TEAS TEST study material. Cook food/eat during study breaks. Drive to campus for Anatomy and Physiology LECTURE from 6 PM to 8:45 PM. Come home by 930pm + pajamas + watch a TV show + pass out by 11pm.

Thursdays = Wake up at 7am shower + dress + get ready + pre-write the notes for work at home. Work 11am-5pm (triaging 13-17 patients). Come home & quickly make dinner + put on pajamas. Then jump on computer / zoom meetings for Psychology Class from 6pm-845pm + watch a TV show + pass out by 10pm.

Fridays = Wake up at 9am + finish ALL psychology homework/quiz/test. Spend the rest of the day studying all TEAS TEST material. Cook food/eat during study breaks + watch a TV show + pass out by 10pm.

**Saturday and Sunday = Study all things anatomy and physiology homework.**

Sundays = Sleep in till 10 AM. Clean house. Finish laundry. Food prep for week (if time permits). COMPLETE ALL HW including studying for any upcoming tests/quizzes. Pre-write patient notes for Monday morning. And study TEAS TEST material.

Obviously — I’m going to be off the grid and sparsely on social media from now until December 23rd.

Wish me luck, y’all!!

PS: As I am sure by now — those following my journey are fully aware — I will be posting my grades, accordingly.

Thank you to everyone cheering me on! Means the world to me!

Stay, tuned.

Love,
M

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Summer 2022

(MY SCHEDULE/LIFE + MY FINAL GRADES = CHEM 136 + Medical Terminology)

Hey y’all!
I am not going to lie.
This has been THE TOUGHEST/LONGEST/SUMMER OF. MY. ENTIRE. LIFE.

It’s no secret that I despise the summer to begin with.

Why?

1 – I have a medical condition that causes “hyperpigmentation” so I literally cannot be in the sun for any length of time – like not even 10 minutes – or else my face looks like someone took a window screen and threw dirt on me. And the only way to correct the sun damaging deformed facial blotches = several months of extensive + expensive laser treatments. So, pass.

2 – I hate going to the beach. It is NOT relaxing. In fact? It’s a panic inducing nightmare for me. Driving (with astronomical gas prices) + paying for parking passes + lugging way too much stuff + setting up camp + then needing to walk and having your feet CATCH ON FIRE to use a restroom + driving home + sand EVERYWHERE in all of your crevices for MONTHS = NO THANK YOU.

3 – I hate being “HOT”. If you’re cold you can always put on a sweatshirt and warm up. But when you’re sweating + menopause hot flashes = there is NO WAY too “cool off” unless you’re willing to take an ice-bath. (Also, PASS!)

4 – Most recently the humidity is excessively unnecessary – and quite frankly uncalled for.

That being said…

This summer, I decided to take extra college courses – instead of taking “time off to enjoy the summer” – because as I mentioned above I do NOT enjoy the summer whatsoever. And therefore, it made more sense for to me to study instead.

What I did not realize?

Summer courses are “condensed” courses.
Which means what you would normally learn over the course of 15 weeks?
Is jam-packed into a 10-week time-frame.

[I was in classes from 06/06-08/15/2022]

And …. what did I decide to learn over the summer?

CHEMISTRY (general/biological/inorganic and organic)
Only one of THE MOST DIFFICULT COURSES EVER
+ Medical Terminology
(because I already learned Med Terms when I went to school at ACI for my CCMA, CPT, CET, CPCTC & CPR certificates back in 2020).

My summer schedule ended up looking like this:

Mondays – Chem Lecture (10am-12pm) Work (1-6pm)
Tuesdays – Work 9-5pm + Med Term at night online (5-10pm)
Wednesdays – Chem Lecture (10am-12pm) + Chem Lab (1pm-5pm)
Thursdays – Work 11am-5pm + Med Term at night online (5-10pm)
Fridays – Finish all Med Term HW
Saturdays & Sundays – Study all things CHEM.

And here’s how that worked out for me!

FINAL GRADES:

CHEM LECTURE (took FOREVER to get my final exam grade):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHEM LAB:

 

 

 

 

MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY:

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am EXTREMELY proud of myself.

I have a 4.0 to present to the head of the Nursing Department before I take my TEAS exam in October.

Now if you’ll kindly excuse me,

I need to sleep for FIVE MINUTES – before I have to take Continuing Education (CE) courses to re-new my current NHA certificates AND start studying for the TEAS test – before I start Anatomy & Physiology + Psychology 2 on September 8th !!

Thanks to everyone cheering me on and keeping me as sane as possible!

Stay tuned.

Love,
M

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Protected: Med Terms 2022 – FINAL RESEARCH PAPER – CHF

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Chemistry Song!

Strumming my brain with elements.
Singing my life with compounds.
Killing me softly with chemistry.
Killing me softly with chemistry.
Telling my whole life in formulas.
Killing me softly with chemistry.

I heard chem sang a good song, I heard chem had a style
And so I came to see chem
And listened for a while…

And there chem was, this ancient fool, stranger to my eyes …

Strumming my my brain with conversions.
Singing my life with equalities.
Killing me softly with chemistry.
Killing me softly with chemistry.
Telling my whole life in equations.
Killing me softly with chemistry.

I felt all flushed with fever, when faced with molarity.
I found the moles of solute / liters of solution and read each one out loud.
I prayed that chem would finish, but it just kept right on …
Giving me crazy problems.
Only chemists could solve.
Killing me softly with chemistry.
Killing me softly with chemistry. Telling my whole life in titration.
Killing me softly with chemistry.

Strumming my my brain with Ph.
Singing my life in KW.
Killing me softly with chemistry.
Killing me softly with chemistry.
Telling my whole life in [H3+0] = [OH-].
Killing me softly with chemistry.

Chem taught as if he knew me.
In all my dark despair.
And then he looked right through me….

As if I wasn’t there.

And he just kept on singing
Singing clear and strong…

Strumming my brain with chemical reactions
Singing my life with acids and bases.
Killing me softly with chemistry. Killing me softly with chemistry.
Telling my whole life in conjugated pairs.
Killing me softly with chemistry

Killing me softly …
with chemistry.

Posted in Brookdale, College, Registered Nursing School | Comments Off on Chemistry Song!

Spring 2022 Semester – Final Grades!

*insert drum roll*

1. 104 on my bio LECTURE final.
2. 102 on my bio LAB final.
3. 97 on my ENG final.
4. 95 on my HESC final.
5. 91 on my MATH final.

Here are my final grades/scores for Spring Semester 2022

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you to everyone that has been routing for me & believing in me!!

Next up?

Summer Classes 06/06/2022 – 08/15/2022
Chemistry & Medical Terminology!

Stay, tuned.

Love,
M

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HOME STRETCH

Okay y’all. I am down to the HOME STRETCH.
ONE WEEK LEFT OF COLLEGE FOR THIS SEMESTER!

Sadly, it’s probably going to be THE HARDEST week of my entire life!
And here’s why….

WELCOME TO “HELL WEEK”

Monday, May 2:
Work 9-5 (triage 22-25 patients)
Drive to campus for HESC
*FINAL= Deliver a four page paper w/ three cited sources, in proper APA format, topic “how to become a successful nurse” – and an oral presentation.
Drive home.
Scarf down dinner.
Pass out.

Tuesday, May 3:
Study 9-12pm
Work 12-5 (triage 15 -17 patients)
Drive to campus:
BIO LECTURE FINAL
(Chpts 12-15)
Soooo much information.
But hooray for Punnett squares!
And I legit LOVE biology.
Drive home.
Choke down some food.
Pass out.

Wednesday, May 4:
MATH 015 FINAL @8am!
It’s a cumulative exam on all things algebra + ridiculous word problems = No bueno.
Find/Make/Cook & Eat food.
(Then work on ENG122 paper #3 AGAIN!)
Pass out.

Thursday, May 5:
Study 9-12
Work 12-5 (triage 15-17 patients)
Drive to campus:
BIO LAB PRACTICAL #3 FINAL (Chpts 9-12)
Big fan LOVE bio.
Drive home.
Stuff my face.
Pass out.

Friday, May 6:
WRITE! WRITE! WRITE!
EDIT! EDIT! EDIT!
ENG 122 PAPER 3 = DUE BY MIDNIGHT! (7-10 pages, (very limited for my broad topic) + 7 sources + 7 citings (database/reputable/empirical evidence) with proper MLA format — topic “what’s up with reality television” … and I cannot use first person, you, or even any contractions! — so I cannot use MY *regular* writing voice) 🙁
*Submit final paper
*PASS THE F%CK OUT!

Saturday, May 7th:
Zombie day; SLEEP!!

Sunday, May 8th
Mothers Day
Golfing with the family.

WISH ME LUCK!!

Stay tuned.

Love,
M

Posted in College, Life, Registered Nursing School | Comments Off on HOME STRETCH

Always Studying!

When your doctor/boss is away on vacation — but the practice is still open (to answer phones, check faxes, refill meds, ect) except you’re an MA & not really an “office” person. Soooo … all of your co-workers decide you should go home, grab your books, come back, and go into your “office” (room # 6) to study, study, study!

#Math #BestMondayEver

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Passover 2022

A memory that will last FORVER!

(Photos are on flickr and facebook accounts)

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