For those of you who have sons & those of you who are happy that you don’t.

(I never do this, but this email was sent to me from my mother, knowing I would appreciate the honesty of what it means to be a mother to a BOY…. and, this is pretty funny to me, I have to post it! Pictures & Writing: UNKNOWN SOURCE)









And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department inAustin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

Posted in Humor | 3 Comments

Ever since I tried to post every day in the month …

Ever since I tried to post every day in the month of November to see if I could, for national writing month…and to practice training myself TO write everyday, (not just scribbling non sentences in a journal) and of course to help my writing…….if I don’t post, I feel like something is missing from my day. And that was a really long sentence.

But, I have come to love this blog, and all it gives me. It’s not just some little blog, or thing, to me. It’s become so much more. When I have a bad day, I can bitch about and, get over it, and feel better. Or, when I am down, I can re read an old post that made me laugh while writing it. I love when I get a comment from a stranger on the internet, people from India to Canada, telling me they enjoyed reading something…that always makes what could have been a bad day into a great day.

I know that my sister in law, Maya, who lives far away and I don’t get to see often, nor do either of us have free time in our lives to actually sit and take in a phone call, reads this blog all the time to know how I am doing, and what I am up to. Like wise, I visit the baby Jackson website (weekly) to see what’s happening over there.

I love that my (from many years ago) high school friends (Monica, Leslie, Lee…ect ect…) who live all over the country, have a way of participating in my life from thousands of miles away. I love that I am able to share so much of my life with so many of the people I love so easily.

I love reading other peoples blogs. I always find inspiration and comfort in knowing I am not alone even when I think I am.

I don’t have any pictures today. Just a short post too. I am so truly thankful for the two people (Leslie and Brian) who are responsible for enriching my life, in many many ways… but especially for introducing me to the blog!

In sad news, I want to extend my deepest condolences to my girlfriend Jennifer, for the loss of her grandfather. My prayers are with you.

Health update… New medication has prevented PAIN, with less narcotic side effects, like being groggy, or having unreasonable paranoia, and I haven’t had to use the bathroom like I did over the last four months. But, there is one major hitch. I went from going to the bathroom 7 times a day, to not going to the bathroom IN SEVEN DAYS. Now it’s the OPPOSITE. Putting in a call to doctors in morning.

And the DONUT is STILL on the car. I hate driving with that tire. I can’t drive like a normal person. I went from skilled maneuvering; to a slow crawl… maybe tomorrow will be more promising in getting a new tire.

Posted in Writing | 1 Comment

Too Fast…

This weekend went all too fast. I feel like I haven’t even had a day off. I didn’t have a chance to write as I intended. BUT…I did get to spend some really great, wonderful and quality time with my son. We haven’t had as much fun together, as we did this weekend, in a long time.

Yes, holiday shopping and decorating is a bee-atch, but when it was all said and done, it was worth the time I was able to share with JCH.

Every year my son and I have this tradition. After we are done messing with all of our own holiday gear, we drive through our neighborhood to look at all the other houses in search of the most obnoxious, Griswald looking, out of control decorated house.

This year’s winners:

(VERY BLUUUUUUURRRRRRY because the lights are so bright, but you get the idea….)




Tired and wishing I had one more day off to get in some ME or writing time, but I don’t… so, I’m cutting this post short to go to bed on time.

Dreading another drive on the NJTPK with the DONUT in the morning (which is still on the car, because my father thinks if we leave it on I will never get another speeding ticket, since I cant drive over 50mph…hope to have it fixed by tomorrow night….we’ll see…)

Posted in Holidays, Life | Comments Off on Too Fast…

All Day – Holiday Decorating

My son has taken to another one of my bad habits…. wearing the the “wife beater” tank top as the weekend uniform (no one dresses for days – even if we have to go to the store)

This is my living room, which looks pretty much the same as it does all year…but the color green is now applicable for this month, and I don’t normally have a bowl of gold ornaments on the coffee table.

I never had a fireplace until I moved here…and I love it!!

Christmas tree – $17.00 at Target! Best deal I have ever had. Yes its a fake tree, and now I won’t have to deal with needles and sap, or hauling it down 4 flights of stairs when its dead. Nope, I can FOLD the tree, and put it in a BOX, and USE.IT.AGAIN. next year!

Yes, Mom, there is Hannukah stuff too…

Yup… I have to decorate for BOTH holidays… because just ONE would be too easy…and we all know NOTHING over here is EASY… I need EXTRA work, EXTRA bills, EXTRA things to buy, and EXTRA things to do….(why aren’t there enough hours in a day?)

Did I mention I love having a fireplace?

Really LOVE having a FIREPLACE

This is just plain funny..

And my son…Looking, oddly, “grinch-like”

Now it feels like the holidays.

Posted in Holidays | 2 Comments

I am blaming El Nino, FOR ANOTHER FLAT TIRE

….G-d damn-it! Sh*t….. F*UCK! Why? Sh*t, Sh*t, SH*T!

Great… I will be late… AGAIN

For the 2nd day IN.A.ROW.

Way to earn those “brownie points” I so desperatly need….

Now for the even harder part..

Must call in to advise my current status,

Once more, I will FAIL to make it on time….

While waiting around for the repair service …. there was a lot of repetetive actions taken by me, as if moving faster, or checking on things more often would some how speed the waiting process. At least I didn’t get some bullshit response from the automated road side assistance operators like “Thanks for your request, help is on the way, your window of time is from 9am-12pm.” …. But, there was alot of pacing, checking my cell phone, checking my house phone, biting off all my nails, looking out windows, pacing…called mom, called dad, pacing, checked cell phone, checked house phone, no nails left to bite, looking out windows…pacing…

Longest and slowest 45 minutes later…. HELLO!!! Thank you! Thank you! Road side assistance! Thank You! Hyundai! (paying that extra money for those little warranty things… was a good idea)

This is the stuff that was in the trunk of my car… all the crap I had to remove so I could find the donut tire buried inside the secret floor of the trunk (Well, really so the road assistance guy could get the tire…) But, Why? Do I have a sleeping bag? I have never been camping, nor do I ever plan to, nor am 13yrs old or, going on a sleep over….

Let the professional tire change begin…..

OKAY, great, bad tire in trunk, donut on car… Let’ s go….ALL PAID FOR

I’m leaving NOW…. But, I was supposed to be there… BY 830
… …damn it!

Oh… here’s an inconsequential fact, normally, I drive somewhere between 85-95 MPH, constant motion, bobbing and weaving, changing lanes, seeing three and four moves ahead… I have even been known to use the shoulder from time to time….Of course, only on the NJTPK and only when extreme circumstances apply, really. swear. But, when you are sporting a donut as a rear tire… options are rather limited. I was confined to the right lane for the duration of my drive and…. at the speed of:

50! In a 65 MPH zone. Yup! I was THAT driver. “THAT DRIVER” which I would have been screaming at, if I was behind my own self today. I wished I had a sign I could have posted on the rear wiindow…. “Sorry, I have a really bad tire and I can not drive the speedlimit. I normally dont drive like this…. please go around…and please don’t honk angrily at me.”

(But… did you notice? at least I have a FULL tank of gas now!)

Alas, There is good news! at least I know now, that at 9am, there is NO TRAFFIC!!

Everyone else in the world must have been ON time….

The lack of people, cars and congestion, would have, made for the perfect way to make up some of the time I was so far behind…However, since I was driving with one tire from a big wheel, (only not as sturdy) The turnpike ride was more like a Total lost opportunity… WIDE OPEN HIGHWAY… and I couldn’t even unleash my mad.crazy.speeding.skills… grr

Finally, arrived at….. 9:43

Thats nice….Only 1 hour and 12 minutes late…. I think that’s my new record for all time tardiness.

Yup! Yet another great start to my day.

Posted in Life | 5 Comments

WHY I WAS LATE…

Heading out….

WTF?

Is there an accident?

C’mon…. MOVE…..pleeeeeeeeease

F*CKING MOVE! NOW!

okay, okay……ALMOST ALMOST….

45 minuets just from exit 9 to exit 10… (total travel time 90 minuets)… finally, the OFF ramp…

Best TOLL guy EVER (I see him everyday) …whew, I am off the highway… just a few more minuets till I get there…

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?……NOOOOOOOOOO

Yup! NJTPK everyday…twice a day… ANY QUESTIONS?

Posted in Work | 8 Comments

YEBEN RE-DID IT

MY MOTHERS WEBSITE:

Hi Chillies, Grandies, Rents & Groans!

Thank you very much for your patience!

Our big make-over is finally complete and our store has re-opened just in time for the holidays! Surprise your favorite Chillie with something special from The YEBEN Store.

If you already have an account with us, you will need to re-register your information into our new system. To thank you for reinstating your account, returning customers will receive a special gift with any new purchase!

The YEBEN!s® and I will be adding surprises to our website and new products to The YEBEN Store, so please come back and visit real soon and say hi to your favorite YEBEN!s® on the Meet The YEBEN!s® page! (Just hold onto your heart till you hear Something Very Special That Is True, then click on their name and send an email!)

I’m having a great time! LET’S YEBEN!® DO IT TOGETHER!

Wishing all of you a warm, happy and healthy heart!

With love & hugs from
Gramela Pamela & The Heartland

Posted in Links | Comments Off on YEBEN RE-DID IT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Posted in Friends | Comments Off on HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Mondays always kick ass… UNTIL today…

I haven’t had a BAD Monday in a long time. I must have jinxed myself by liking Monday(s). Because today was a typical terrible MONDAY. Every thing that COULD go wrong. DID. I woke up late. There was no air in the JUST FIXED ($350.00) back left tire of my car. I spilled my lunch on newly dry cleaned clothes. Long long long day in the 9-5 life. Massive traffic on the always-dreaded NJTPK. Then I had to go to the pharmacy THREE TIMES. That’s right THREE TIMES. At 6pm -1st trip was to drop off scripts, then I had to wait 2 and a half hours for them to fill them, because they were “backed up”. … uh, OK. I guess… annoyed, but not yet fully hostile. So, I run home… to squeeeeeze in some never ending chores. I folded my laundry, I stopped at mom’s house to pick up my son and swipe some left over chicken and ran home again. Then I made a slamming gansta CD (cuz that’s how I roll) for my girlfriend’s birthday tomorrow. (She’s been asking me for months to make her that CD). Checked my son’s homework and signed off it was completed. 830 pm-2nd trip, I drove back to pick up my scripts. Done with chores, errands, and bullshit, finally I would be able to sit and relax. Right? Wrong! I get home…to find…MISSING GI medication. Angry with “flames on the side of my face” at the very thought of driving back AGAIN, sitting in that drive through line AGAIN, needing to check emails and voice mail messages, needing to wash my face, and strip out of the stained clothes I was stuck in for hours. Still hadn’t fed my child and it was now…. 9pm-3rd trip back to pick up scripts AGAIN. Three trips back and fourth, up and down the highway, to the now very much-hated Walgreen’s. Three times stuck for an easy eternity of time, in the drive through line. Three times to look up my information. THREE TIMES? I didn’t even GET home until 930 pm tonight. I gave my son the chicken from Mom and Dads and I slapped some canned soup in the microwave and called it dinner. It’s now 11pm. I am in clean pajamas, with my face washed, and my teeth brushed, and luckily my child asleep in bed. I haven’t had a chance to breathe let alone IM, email, make or take a phone call. This was not one of my better Monday’s. But I am glad ITSOVERNOW….

Posted in Work | 1 Comment

H.A.L.T.

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
…. Not to mention stressed and paranoid

Resolution:

Hunger = will eat a warm plate of plain mashed potatoes
Anger = will punch a wall
Lonely = dinner with mom and dad who are FINALLY back from Florida
Tired = nap (now!)

As for the paranoia and stress, well that may be medication related? Who knows. I am speaking with a pharmacologist later this evening to ask questions and possible interactions, and / or side effects when taken in combination with each other. Hope to have some answers / explainations by the end of tonight.

MUST.SLEEP.NOW.

Posted in Life | Comments Off on H.A.L.T.