Once Upon A Time, there was a girl named Meleah.
And when she was 21 years old – she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
And then she blinked her eyes, and, HE turned 21 years old!!
And then, she cried, and cried, and cried.
The end.
————————————————————————
Happy 21st Birthday, Mother Fucker!!!
Once a week, usually on Tuesdays, I will be posting on my TV blog – aptly named Melevision.
After my posts are live, I will add the link below – therefore updating this very post weekly too.
All you have to do is click on the title.
Enjoy!
NEWER SHOWS:
Crisis In Six Scenes | Season One | Amazon Prime
Goliath | Season One | Amazon Prime
Fortitude | Season One | Amazon Prime
The Kettering Incident | Season One| Amazon Prime
FleaBag | Season One| Amazon Prime
Sneaky Pete | Test Pilot | Amazon Prime
Good Girls Revolt | Season One | Amazon Prime
Hunted | Season One| Amazon Prime
Search Party | Season One | TBS
The Fall | Season Three | Netflix
Black Mirror | Season Three | Netflix
Sense 8 | Season One | Netflix
Leah Remini – Scientology – A&E
OLDER SHOWS:
Breaking Bad – All Seasons – AMC/Netflix
Dexter – All Seasons – Showtime/Netflix
The Killing – All Seasons – AMC/Netflix
Scrubs – All Seasons – NBC/ABC/Netflix
Arrested Development – All Seasons – Fox/Netflix
Shameless – Season One – Showtime
FYI: I do NOT write spoilers when reviewing a new series or covering an entire season. Because that’s just rude. I’m only here to give you an over-view peppered with my personal opinions. The only time I will include spoilers are when I’m writing a re-cap: for one particular episode of one particular series. And, you will have fair warning when doing so. That is all. Carry on.
Wednesday morning I woke up at 6:00am – after two days, in bed, with a stomach virus AND my period. I stripped away my sweaty, germ-infested, dirty, sheets, and headed to the laundry room. And that’s when I saw my first Nicholas Cage head. I thought, “WTF? Why is that here?” And started to laugh.
On my way downstairs I noticed more Nicholas Cage heads. But I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on, or if I was still dreaming.
Groggy and confused, I poured my 1st cup of coffee. And that’s when I saw another Nicholas Cage head on the side of my refrigerator.
Still wiping the crust out of my eyes …
I see ANOTHER Nicholas Cage head on my kitchen table.
WHAT THE F%CK IS HAPPENING?
Now if you don’t know me, you don’t know I have serious OCD issues.
Like, legit diagnosed, OCD.
Bad.
Immediately my thought process starts with …
“Are you kidding me? Who wasted all of our printer ink making Nicholas Cage heads? Why are these all over my house? Holy fucking shit, people. Don’t I clean enough? Y’all have to leave ACTUAL TRASH for me to find and clean up? Because YOU think it’s FUNNY?!!”
I am literally on a violent rampage, inside my own head.
Because at 6am this was NOT funny.
Oh, no.
At 6am, NOTHING IS FUCKING FUNNY, especially without coffee.
Instead of taking pictures of these random Nicholas Cage heads [in the wall unit, in the family photos on the walls, in the downstairs bathroom] I proceeded to rip them down – all the while huffing, and puffing, and muttering expletives.
A few hours later, my darling son, JCH, arises from the dead – home from college on winter break. He attempts to get a cup of coffee with a shit-eating-grin plastered on his face.
“JUSTIN, ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE GODDAMN NICHOLAS CAGE HEADS ALL OVER MY HOUSE? WTF, DUDE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?”
He doesn’t reply.
At all.
Just grabs his coffee and leaves.
“YOU BETTER GET RID OF THIS SHIT, YO! I CAN’T WITH THIS. I AM NOT LAUGHING.”
A few hours later – while laundering, cleaning, and cooking – I see ANOTHER Nicholas Cage head inside the kitchen ‘cutting board’ drawer.
And then, I started to laugh.
Like full body giggle.
And then, it finally dawned on me.
My son was actually PLAYING with me.
Something he hasn’t done, in a VERY long time, and especially NOT often, now that he’s away in college.
And I posted it on Facebook …….
And then I went on THE HUNT to find these crazy Nicholas Cage heads – all over my damn house!!
I found NC Heads:
Inside other photos, IN FRAMES. On my bed. Inside my desk. On the toilets. And on door handles.
* Apparently, Justin planted over 150 Nicholas Cage heads somewhere in my house. I may find myself laughing for the next few months.
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Dear Justin,
Well played, Whosteen.
Well, played.
Your grandfather, Poppa-Uh, will be proud.
Love,
M
This past summer, my son, JCH aka Whosteen, trained and fought in his VERY FIRST MMA Competition.
And after only 3 months of training – he went up against a man twice his size with 5 years of training.
Here’s what happened!
Enjoy!
VIDEO WITH EDITING AND MUSIC:
RAW FOOTAGE:
HELLO
IT’S ME
AND I’M STILL ADDICTED TO WATCHING TOO MUCH TV …
It’s been a while.
Yeah.
Like, a really long while.
Whatevs.
I’m not going to waste anyone’s time with details, excuses, or dramatic re-enactments explaining my disappearance. Aint nobody got time for that.
However?
And, luckily for y’all…
My undying love – for all things television – has NOT been compromised.
not. even. a. little.
In fact – during my unexplained absence – my love affair with TV has grown even stronger.
With the newest viewing options; from cable and networks providing ondemand capabilities – to Smart TV’s and RoKu apps, such as: Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime?
I’ve inevitably developed a sixth-sense. For real, people. I’ve been given a gift. Finding the most awesome television shows, ever.
Some people read fortunes, see the dead, or communicate with the other side. Other people provide stock options, develop retirement plans, or figure out super fancy shit with money. Some people learn. Some people teach. Some people have degrees. And some people just flip burgers or mop floors.
I am not any of those people.
I’m just a television junkie. Committed to all things TV since 1974.
And I am here to give you the inside info.
1. I’ll let you know when something is worthy of binge-watching. And I’ll give you the reasons why.
2. I’ll let you know when something is NOT worthy of binge-watching. And I’ll give you those reasons why
Why?
Because I’m nice like that.
On the other hand?
I am NOT going to research facts, or spend hours perusing IMBD, or spend one second looking up Rotten Tomato or other notable Critic Scores. I am NOT going to read reviews before, during, or after – watching any show, on any venue, ever.
This is just an unbiased and un-researched television junkie’s blog.
That. Is. All.
So…
Brew some coffee, or pour yourself a cocktail, and let’s watch too much TV, together, again! Hope y’all enjoy my recommendations, as much as I enjoy watching these shows.
That’s, right Click HERE.
HERE: http://melevision.net
Love,
M!
I’ve never been much of a “news” person. Hell, in my 20’s & 30’s I got all of my news from the E! Channel & TMZ.
I’ve also never been much of a “political” person, either. I didn’t even know all of the previous presidents until my 20’s & 30’s.
Now that I’m in my 40’s, I’ve finally become a news & political person. And I’ve never been more upset. I cannot turn on the TV, radio, or any social media, without being heartbroken & sick to my stomach – daily.
That being said, as a realistic & responsible adult, I understand it’s my duty to be informed. Informed to make educated decisions and able to construct reasonable opinions.
But lately?
I just want to go back inside my “bubble” of “ignorance” – when the biggest source of conflict & the only thing to protest was the newest fashion trend, or, gossiping over which celebrity was having an illicit affair.
Between the upcoming election, America’s Never-Ending War in the Middle East, gun control, women’s rights, weirdo food issues, ISIS, terrorism, racism, homophobia, the recent tragic events in Florida, and the current unnecessary shootings – I’m ready to barricade myself at home, lock the doors, close the blinds, and refuse to emerge until the world figures out how to resolve itself.
In the meantime?
I’ll be watching Bravo and/or Netflix & Hulu – in my pajamas, under the covers, with the AC blasting, while enjoying a non-stop I.V. pumping cocktails full of alcohol & antidepressants into my veins.
Y’all, I seriously don’t even know where to begin a story that’s been 26 years in the making. Twenty-six – painstaking, heartbreaking, death-defying – years.
Which is why I’ve been absent from the Internet, for like, forever.
Also? There are new and delicate privacy issues I’ve had to consider.
Things I’ve never had to consider before starting this humble little blog.
I used to write like no one was reading. And somehow, that’s exactly how I obtained so many friendships/readers. I had NO shame. And I had NOTHING to hide. I was NOT embarrassed to post the deepest, darkest, secrets about MYSELF. Nor was I afraid to back those very secrets/stories with cold, hard, photographic evidence. I wrote to deal with whatever shit was thrown my way and to get to the other side. I wrote to ‘Find The Funny.’ And that worked. For years.
But that’s the key word.
I.
As in myself.
Even though I am known as The Queen Of TMI I have never divulged the secrets of others. And I never would. Those aren’t MY secrets to tell. That would kind of be like “outing” someone for spite – and that’s just uncool.
The end.
These days, I am in a very different place from where my blog began: as a single mother [of one son] Struggling Commercial Insurance Professional, while battling numerous autoimmune diseases and never ending flare-ups, which led to the inevitable loss of my career and finally moving in with my parents.
Today? I am the mother of THREE. Yes, three kids. Three mother f*cking teenagers!
JCH [age 19] whom y’all know and adore and my two soon-to-be-step-daughters: temporarily known as: BigTitsMcGee [age 15] and HellOnWheels [age 14] – Feel free to thank, Justin, for those aptly appointed nicknames.
Today? Yes, I still have never ending autoimmune flare-ups. I just don’t write about them anymore – for personal and private reasons – which, one-day I truly hope to share with you.
Today? I am a very happy homemaker/owner – no longer isolated within the confines the purple prison/paradise of my parents house. [But I did move around the corner. Literally. It’s like “Everyone Loves Raymond” up in here.]
And, today? I am the happiest I’ve ever been.
I have EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED – including: dedicated, devoted, unmerciful, and undying gratitude – from my partner, the man I’ve been in love with since I was fourteen years old. And I want to shout it from the mothafuckin’ rooftops. I want to skywrite it across the entire atmosphere.
How did I finally get here?
That’s what I’m dying to tell you.
The sacrifices. The change. The growth. The rewards. #FuckingFlorida.
The good. The bad. The scary. The wonderful. #DirtyJersey4Evah
But this is the best I can do, for right now.
Right now, I have all these other people to consider. All this other privacy to respect. And all of these other children to protect. Children who’ve been disgraced and embarrassed enough.
I hope to be able to share my whole story. OUR STORY. With you.
One day.
Soon.
Stay Tuned.
Love,
M
Once Upon A Time, there was a girl named Meleah.
And when she was 21 years old – she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
And then she blinked her eyes, and he graduated from high school.
And then, she cried, and cried, and cried.
The end.
