Once Upon A Time, there lived a girl named Meleah, who loved her blog so very much. Except that she never has the time to update it because she’s still very busy, and has been, for the past Eleven Weeks, in a row, while holed up in a tiny corner of her house working on a novel that’s probably not going to be close to finished until 2014, if she’s lucky.
And speaking of her novel, Meleah simply cannot answer this question anymore. So here’s her blanket reply:
Random Person: What’s your book about?
Meleah: A young girl’s strange and erotic journey from Milan to Minsk. The lead characters name is Rochelle, Rochelle.
Random Person: Really?
Meleah: No. It’s just a coffee table book, about coffee tables.
And…there you have it.
[I’d be nothing without my endless references to Seinfeld.]
Moving on.
In other news, Meleah has agreed to join forces with two of her dearest blogging pals, Michael and Ziva and will be participating in a 30-Day-Photo-Challenge. So you can look forward to DAILY UPDATES starting on April 1st. And even though Meleah is not a good photographer by any stretch of the imagination, and lacks the talent both Michael and Ziva possess, Meleah thinks it will just be a fun thing that uses a different part of her brain than writing. This way Meleah can keep up with her blog, AND, still work on her novel. Right?
On another totally unrelated note, Meleah thought since it’s been such a long time since she updated her blog, she would give you an inside look into some of her strange quirks. Yes?
As most of you already know, Meleah spends most of her time inside her pretty purple bedroom, wearing pajamas, reading blogs, smoking Newport 100’s, drinking coffee, and excessively ‘liking’ other people’s updates on Facebook. She is a dedicated mother, daughter, and friend. She enjoys the role of Family Historian/Paparazzi, making movies, and playing games such as: Golf, Words With Friends, and Bejeweled Blitz. She also has unjustifiable fears with respects to Fires, and Bridges, and Spiders, and Heights, and Airplanes, and Needles. She has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And she really loves to clean.
But there are some things you might NOT know about Meleah.
Like how she is known as ‘Opposite Girl’ by her friends and family members.
And here are the Top Ten Reasons why.
1. Coffee makes her sleepy and Benadryl makes her hyper.
2. She’s awake all Night and she sleeps all Day.
3. She keeps the windows OPEN in the Winter. And she keeps them CLOSED in the Summer.
4. She’s allergic to almost every type of food in the world EXCEPT for Dairy Products and Shellfish.
5. Meleah ventured out into the Real World at the age of 13, only to move back home, with her parents, at the age of 34. And most people do that in reverse.
6. She sleeps with her feet OUTSIDE of the covers, but her shoulders have to be INSIDE the covers.
7. Dayquil knocks her out. And Nyquil keeps her up.
8. She calls herself a writer but she doesn’t read very much, she can’t spell very well, and she hasn’t got a clue when it comes to grammar.
9. When she was young people told her she had an old soul. And now that she’s old people tell her she has a young soul.
10. Meleah couldn’t think of another thing that makes her opposite from the rest of the world, but she can’t have a Top 9 List, because that would drive her insane, so here is a Bonus Fun Fact: Meleah actually likes watching Television in Real Time with Commercials.
Meleah has always known she’s little different from everyone else. But after writing this list, she thinks maybe she’s a LOT different from everyone else.
Now if you’ll please excuse her, she’s got a book to write and photographs to take.
I’ll do my best!
Thinking about your picture challenge – might be fun?? or too much for me???
Join us? Please?!
Of course you’re different from everyone else; that’s what makes you interesting.
Hey! We have something in common! I too have an opposite thing: I’m allergic to Band-Aids but NOT to poison ivy! Go figure!
I’m in – but if I go more psycho than normal, I’m coming to NJ and kickin your butt!
I am a patient person so if and when you ever feel like sharing I will be waiting.
I totally get the need for the commercial breaks to run and get drinks, potty breaks, cigarette breaks for you smokers, I just never WATCH the commercials…well unless there are talking animals, talking babies or M&Ms dancning.
Totally…swelter if feet aren’t out.
Thanks, Bob G!
YAY!! Now, I feel less like a weirdo!
Deal!
But …can you come to NJ anyway one of these days?
For a nice lunch together?
MY TREAT!
Speaking of talking babies, I LOVE the Etrade baby. OMFG!
4. She’s allergic to almost every type of food in the world EXCEPT for Dairy Products and Shellfish.I know this is serious – and when I read your post about it, I was very scared for you. But the line itself cracks me up! Very fun top 10 list! 🙂
Its just sooo bizarre!
Even my allergist was like WTF is WRONG with you?
99.9% of my clients are allergic to DAIRY and/or SHELLFISH.
Meanwhile, that’s ALL you CAN eat!
Oh well.
I guess it’s good to be different!
WEll, if you are paying, sure…why not.
Yipppppeeeeeeeee!
You would probably get along with my son, Opposite Man, who shares many of your peccadilloes. He, to, is a lot different than everyone else, except in those ways he’s like me, which are more than he realizes … or probably wants to realize. I will be by to see your photos …
Bud
Book done by 2014? good things come to those who wait 🙂 Awesome list Meleah, vive la différence!
I could make you feel so normal it would blow your mind.
It seems like are all so busy now at one thing or another. It takes me a while to get around to leaving my comments these days…I started this yesterday.
We are all different and that’s what makes us interesting and the world go around. Have a great week.
Thanks, Bud.
If I’m lucky, Rog!
Yes, please.
Thank you Linda.
I know what you mean too.
It takes me all day : Sunday, Tuesdays & Thursdays to read/comment on all my favorite blogs!
Nice list… Stop wasting time and write. The 2014 date is unacceptable. June 2013 is the latest. By the way… more good articles in Wall Street Journal about your type of book. This will sell very well on the e-readers. It appears that women are big time buyers. Men are … well… pigs. They will buy it, … too…. BDawg…
I am NOT fucking around.
All I have been doing is writing.
Fer fucks sake!
And 2014 is REALISTIC.
Especially when sometimes it takes an HOUR to get ONE sentence just right!
So there!
xoxoxo
I’d appreciate that :).
xoxo
Meleah, I love your list. I am looking forward to your book…even if we have to wait until 2014. You may be different, but that is what makes you so amazing.
Aw! Shucks! Thank you Annie.
So what’s your book about?
I’m totally down with #6.
HA!
I can’t believe you’re not allergic to dairy and shellfish. They are my two biggest allergens, particularly the shellfish. But I’m really glad that with all the things you are allergic to you still have some tasty things left to eat. And Rochelle, Rochelle is the perfect name for your book. LOL.
i want to read this book i keep hearing about….
it’s about me and you and our torrid affair, right?
loved this post and opposite meleah. can’t wait for your book, I would stand in line for a copy. looking forward to your pics too, i need to join you.
V
Selma
See……I 100% opposite!
xoxox
Uh… Yeah!
You crack me up, Slyde!
Val!
You should TOTALLY join us!
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?
I-LOVE-THIS. First of all, when I had my daughter, my witch neighbor (yes, witch) said, “she has an OLD soul.” And she was right. My eleven year old red headed daughter indeed has an old soul. And I pray she will have a young one as she ages. Then, leaving at 13? BLOG POST. And one more thing. You HAVE to cover them, or a monster will sneak a toe tag on your toe! HA HA! I HAVE to cover my toes, since I was a kid, for that very reason! LOL!
I love Seinfeld!!
Well, I can assure you your daughter will have a younger soul as she ages.
I can’t write that story as blog post it’s way too much. Maybe I can make it a short story or something.
And, hell no. FEET IN.
Thanks for dropping by, Katherine!
Me too!
Congrats on stepping up to the photo challenge. Not me. No siree-bob. Too much of a commitment. Yes, that’s yet another reason why I’m single. And “opposite girl” is really “darn interesting, adorable girl.”
I love your Seinfeld references. I used the “Rochelle, Rochelle” one for years to answer various and random questions. Ha!
Also, I love to have a window cracked in the winter, allowing in wisps of icy air.
And this is why Meleah is so well loved by everyone: because she is charming and utterly quirky. Plus she spends a great deal of time “liking” everyone on Facebook (and here I thought it was just me…that’s ok though, I’m an equal opportunity “likee”!)
My family wishes I shared your penchant for cleaning. I have always envied my friend’s purple bedroom with her sexy Georgia O’Keefe lily right over her bed. I just despise painting even more than cleaning, so I’ll have a white bedroom forever. I like your blog, and I think I’d really like your novel. Keep at it!
Awww…
Thanks, Jayne.
I can’t believe I agreed to do this either!
Hellz yes!
🙂
Thanks, Girl!
You rock, Kim!