I am not a big fan of facial hair. No. Let me rephrase that. I don’t like facial hair at all. I think beards make men look ‘dirty’. I think the goatee makes any seemingly attractive man look like an escaped convict. And I think all moustaches are creepy.
That is, unless you’re Tom Selleck.
Seriously.
He’s the only man that can sport a moustache. And make it look sexy.
There are various types of ‘Lip Sweaters’.
According to WikiPedia some of them include the following:
- Natural – Moustache styled without aids.
- Mexican – Big and bushy, beginning from the middle of the upper lip and pulled to the side.
- Dalí – narrow, long points bent or curved steeply upward; areas past the corner of the mouth must be shaved. Artificial styling aids needed. Named after Salvador Dalí.
- English – narrow, beginning at the middle of the upper lip the whiskers are very long and pulled to the side, slightly curled; the ends are pointed slightly upward; areas past the corner of the mouth usually shaved. Artificial styling may be needed.
- Imperial – whiskers growing from both the upper lip and cheeks, curled upward.
Other types of moustache include:
- Fu Manchu – long, downward pointing ends, generally beyond the chin.
- ‘Pancho Villa’ moustache – similar to the Fu Manchu but thicker.
- Handlebar – bushy, with small upward pointing ends. Also known as the “spaghetti moustache”, because of its stereotypical association with Italian men.
- Horseshoe – Often confused with the Fu Manchu style, the horseshoe was possibly popularized by modern cowboys and consists of a full moustache with vertical extensions from the corners of the lips down to the jaw line and resembling an upside-down horseshoe. Also known as “biker mustache”.
- Toothbrush – thick, but shaved except for about an inch (2.5 cm) in the center; associated with Adolf Hitler.
- Walrus – bushy, hanging down over the lips, often entirely covering the mouth.
Pretty extensive list, eh?
However, I would like to see an ‘Additional Definition’ added to the directory of moustaches. Courtesy of my friend, Terri.
Word: “Molestache”
Definition: Any creepy looking mustache that makes the wearer look like a child molester.
[*Disclaimer: I have no idea who this guy is. I just typed ‘Creepy Mustaches’ into Google and this was the first image that came up.]
Scary.
Right?
Sadly, most men with facial hair are ‘Doing It Wrong’.
As demonstrated here, by comedian Jon LaJoie:
So tell me boys and girls, what do you think about moustaches and/or facial hair?
Come on, Mel. You’d kiss old Alec with some chin stubble? Next thing you know, you’ll be doing tongue hockey with the “Situation”.
Sorry, but I think some guys look better/classier with facial hair (Sean Connery, Bruce Willis).
You rock more, Mija.
Jumping in rather late here because I thought of molestache as being a very hairy mole. Like a mole so big and so hairy it has its own moustache. Most men do get facial hair wrong, or they overwear the look beyond the cutting edge phase. My all-time gross out in the facial hair department was a woman I worked with years ago who had a full beard. Not thick and bristly like on a man but of the variety worn on a 16-year-old boy who never shaved. It was soft and silky and very noticeable. She refused to shave it.
I hate facial hair too and I’m a man at that. I think people who keep mustaches and goatees are really insecure of themselves … hahaha! Okay, I’m probably going to get bashed by every hairy male out there!
Not too much of a fan of facial hair either, although some guys can carry it off and even look better for it. I’ve got to agree that the molestache IS creepy looking.
Really?
Really?
Well Bruce Willis always gets sexy the more ?damaged’ he looks.
Like in Die Hard? OMG! Sooooo HOT!
And you’re right – I’d kiss Alec Baldwin NO MATTER WHAT.
But the “Situation” – NO WAY.
I’d rather make out with Pauly D!
Well Bruce Willis always gets sexy the more ?damaged’ he looks.
Like in Die Hard? OMG! Sooooo HOT!
And you’re right – I’d kiss Alec Baldwin NO MATTER WHAT.
But the “Situation” – NO WAY.
I’d rather make out with Pauly D!
Well Bruce Willis always gets sexy the more ?damaged’ he looks.
Like in Die Hard? OMG! Sooooo HOT!
And you’re right – I’d kiss Alec Baldwin NO MATTER WHAT.
But the “Situation” – NO WAY.
I’d rather make out with Pauly D!
SHUT UP.
I would have laser facial hair removal STAT.
SHUT UP.
I would have laser facial hair removal STAT.
SHUT UP.
I would have laser facial hair removal STAT.
Oh Nick!
Oh Nick!
SO VERY CREPPY!
SO VERY CREPPY!
SO VERY CREPPY!
I’m late to this party but I’ll share because I have various thoughts.
When The Husband, aka Unfinished Person, was in high school, he had a full moustache. Between that and the glasses he looked like a 40 year old retail manager of some stripe when he was 16. I did not know him then. I talked him into growing a goatee exactly one time and only because a moment of inattention and some miscommunication between himself and a hair stylist resulted in his getting a complete crewcut. And my husband has kind of a big head. So some facial hair was needed to balance him out. I liked it, but he hated the maintenance and locked himself in the bathroom to shave it off when I was making dinner.
My former high school boyfriend grew a full on biker ‘stache sometime after our relationship and continues to maintain it to this day, despite being the pastor of a church and the father of 2. No one understands why. It is not a good look for him. And I take perverse pleasure in the fact that it annoys his wife, which is a subject for another conversation that should be interrupted frequently by my refilling my glass from the blender.
I will see your Tom Selleck and raise you a Sam Elliott.
Depends on the guy. Some guys wear them well, but most don’t. I like facial hair that dares to just show up. Anything more is superfluous.
I love the word: superfluous.
YOU CRACK ME UP!!!!!!!!!
* Googles Sam Elliot *
DILDO HEAD! AhahahahahahahahhHHAHAHHAHAHHAhahhhaha
OMG, I’m in hysterics over that video!
I am actually a facial hair kinda girl, (on my guy, not on me!) but it’s got to be somewhat fashionable and groomed. The untamed, dirty birds nest look is disturbing, to say the least!
Yay! I’m gad you like that video, Terri Terri!
It really makes me laugh EVERY TIME I watch it.
And facial hair MUST be groomed or SHAVED off!
Yay! I’m gad you like that video, Terri Terri!
It really makes me laugh EVERY TIME I watch it.
And facial hair MUST be groomed or SHAVED off!
I totally have facial hair because it just grows faster than I can shave it and WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE NEVER SEEN LOST?!?!111one
Nope. Never watched it!
I like facial hair but I don’t like it if I kiss the guy and I can feel hair poking my face.
Yikes…. be back in ten heading to the 7/11 for razor blades…..:)
That’s what I’m talking about!
Ahahhahhaahah!!
Good call, Robert!
You will look so much better SANS the Serial Killer face!
LOVE YOU!!
xxoxoxoxooxoxoxox
So do you think I would look weird with a beard and the pedofile glasses? I’m thinking they might be the new look for fall.
I love a nice goat, and a bald head, Steve’s been sporting that look for 10 years, he always says he’s going to shave it all off and I hate it. I think I’ve only seen him without a moustache 4 times since 1993.
Rapist Glasses & Pedophile Beards are ALL THE RAGE, right now!
too funny, but you were dead on in nailing the mustystash on the perv and molester. i can take a moustache but it can’t be hanging over the top lip. i need access and roaming room without the bush.
I agree the molestache is creepy, but how much fun is it to say! And yeah, I remember my days of thinking Tom Selleck was sexy. Now he’s too old for me. I go for the younger, hairless breeds like Robert Pattinson…maybe I should sport a molestache!
Hilarious. Some moustaches definitely are creepy. And I also don’t like the little bit of hair below the bottom lip – looks like the guy’s forgotten to shave that bit. But a three day growth on the right guy is ultra hot!
If the facial hair compliments the “wearer” (like Antonio Banderas in/as Zorro) and was well groomed (like Antonio Banderas in Zorro) I don’t think I would mind being ‘tickled’ (by Antonio Banderas) at all.
😉
Off subject: GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE! Irene is headed your way! Secure and shutter up your house and shuffle off to Buffalo, or something. You will probably be without power, possibly water, too, for days. Whatever you do, be safe and be prepared. Our power and water are still off (we are running a generator) yet we have internet and cable(?) Really, stay safe, my dear.
If the facial hair compliments the “wearer” (like Antonio Banderas in/as Zorro) and was well groomed (like Antonio Banderas in Zorro) I don’t think I would mind being ‘tickled’ (by Antonio Banderas) at all.
😉
Off subject: GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE! Irene is headed your way! Secure and shutter up your house and shuffle off to Buffalo, or something. You will probably be without power, possibly water, too, for days. Whatever you do, be safe and be prepared. Our power and water are still off (we are running a generator) yet we have internet and cable(?) Really, stay safe, my dear.
If the facial hair compliments the “wearer” (like Antonio Banderas in/as Zorro) and was well groomed (like Antonio Banderas in Zorro) I don’t think I would mind being ‘tickled’ (by Antonio Banderas) at all.
😉
Off subject: GET THE HELL OUTTA DODGE! Irene is headed your way! Secure and shutter up your house and shuffle off to Buffalo, or something. You will probably be without power, possibly water, too, for days. Whatever you do, be safe and be prepared. Our power and water are still off (we are running a generator) yet we have internet and cable(?) Really, stay safe, my dear.
I can’t stand facial hair and my poor husband is ITALIAN, yeah, he fights the five o’clock shadow big time and on the weekends he likes to NOT SHAVE, so he gets NO KISSES, he scratches my face, when he shaves on the weekends I know he wants to smooch, isn’t that sweet! Or is it too much TMI, sorry!
Oh, you are in serious trouble, Meleah Rebecca. Blog retaliation is not entirely our of the question. But what could I possibly find about you to pick on?
🙂
Seriously. I am a little freaked out about the hurricane!
I love it!
Hmm….. There’s LOTS of material for you to use to pick on me!
I hope you evacuated and secured your house. To be honest, I didn’t think it would sustain it’s hurricane status for so long. I’m crossing my fingers in the hope that it will veer further eastward before it reaches your area. But, please stay safe and my best to you and your family.
😉
Pauly D? Gaaag.
I do have to agree that Bruce does look better all beat up. I still recall him with hair from the Moonlighting days.
With that Irene beotch on her way, I hope you guys have stocked up on food and vodka and battened down the hatches up there. Hold on to your bloomers.
Totally-Super-Scary night last night. Still pretty windy. Roads are shut down due to floods.
Moonlighting!! OMG! That was one of my FAVORITE shows!!
Glad to hear you are okay! Let’s hope another one doesn’t come anytime soon!
😉