I am not a big fan of facial hair. No. Let me rephrase that. I don’t like facial hair at all. I think beards make men look ‘dirty’. I think the goatee makes any seemingly attractive man look like an escaped convict. And I think all moustaches are creepy.
That is, unless you’re Tom Selleck.
Seriously.
He’s the only man that can sport a moustache. And make it look sexy.
There are various types of ‘Lip Sweaters’.
According to WikiPedia some of them include the following:
- Natural – Moustache styled without aids.
- Mexican – Big and bushy, beginning from the middle of the upper lip and pulled to the side.
- Dalí – narrow, long points bent or curved steeply upward; areas past the corner of the mouth must be shaved. Artificial styling aids needed. Named after Salvador Dalí.
- English – narrow, beginning at the middle of the upper lip the whiskers are very long and pulled to the side, slightly curled; the ends are pointed slightly upward; areas past the corner of the mouth usually shaved. Artificial styling may be needed.
- Imperial – whiskers growing from both the upper lip and cheeks, curled upward.
Other types of moustache include:
- Fu Manchu – long, downward pointing ends, generally beyond the chin.
- ‘Pancho Villa’ moustache – similar to the Fu Manchu but thicker.
- Handlebar – bushy, with small upward pointing ends. Also known as the “spaghetti moustache”, because of its stereotypical association with Italian men.
- Horseshoe – Often confused with the Fu Manchu style, the horseshoe was possibly popularized by modern cowboys and consists of a full moustache with vertical extensions from the corners of the lips down to the jaw line and resembling an upside-down horseshoe. Also known as “biker mustache”.
- Toothbrush – thick, but shaved except for about an inch (2.5 cm) in the center; associated with Adolf Hitler.
- Walrus – bushy, hanging down over the lips, often entirely covering the mouth.
Pretty extensive list, eh?
However, I would like to see an ‘Additional Definition’ added to the directory of moustaches. Courtesy of my friend, Terri.
Word: “Molestache”
Definition: Any creepy looking mustache that makes the wearer look like a child molester.
[*Disclaimer: I have no idea who this guy is. I just typed ‘Creepy Mustaches’ into Google and this was the first image that came up.]
Scary.
Right?
Sadly, most men with facial hair are ‘Doing It Wrong’.
As demonstrated here, by comedian Jon LaJoie:
So tell me boys and girls, what do you think about moustaches and/or facial hair?
Okay, Missie, I’m with you to a point. Alex and I were at the Base yesterday and one of the Security Forces guys came over to the car to talk to Alex. He had a porn star mustache. Actually, I didn’t hate it that much. But it did make me wonder if he supplemented his pay. There is also the “soul patch” or what looks like a “landing strip” mustache. Both of those sort of turn me off. I’ve never minded the scruffy “Don Johnson – Circa Miami Vice” facial hair either. Moving on to shaved heads. Oh black guys I love them. On white guys they look a little like a dildo head. Alex occasionally says he’s growing out his beard but he only has 23 hairs on his face, so I don’t take him too seriously.
“Dildo Head” is making me pee in my pants.
PEE IN MY PANTS!
Well babe, you know that I am usually obsessed with body hair in that I hate it. But facial hair is another thing all together. You really have to maintain it and if you do it will look good. I have at times grown a French beard or goatee (hope u have seen the photo in Facebook) and most people here like it. I never like the mustache by itself.
Until 2007 I used to grow my beard out for a month or so, once a year and then shave it all off like a spring cleaning session. It made me feel so much lighter when I shaved it all off. Overall I prefer the clean shaven look, especially when it comes to me.
pretty much all the guys I’ve ever dated (or married – ha!) have had some kinda facial hair…but I dont care one way or the other – EXCEPT for one guy who smoked ciggies & so his ‘stash always STUNK – eeeeeew.
pretty much all the guys I’ve ever dated (or married – ha!) have had some kinda facial hair…but I dont care one way or the other – EXCEPT for one guy who smoked ciggies & so his ‘stash always STUNK – eeeeeew.
Clean shaven. Only way to be!
Ewww! That’s just nasty!
I have to say my moustache makes me look like a moviestar. Not exactly Tom Selleck, though. See for yourself @ http://dufusdaze.wordpress.com/2011/07/18/whats-wilford-brimley-got-that-i-dont/
Checking it out right now!
This is where you and me part ways my friend. You see I grew up in love with the one and only Kenny Rogers. A nice well maintained beard works for me. Although for the record I never dated anyone with a beard with the exception of my husband. Most of my other men couldn’t grow one – which should have been a sign but I’m kind of slow. I agree there are some that are a totally creepy but overall I’m all for the look of a man who has been out riding the rails for a week. 🙂 I would be curious as to how many city woman vs. country woman feel about facial hair. I’m willing to bet more country gals like it.
Now facial hair on myself is a complete no-no.
True.
I forgot about the Kenny Rogers beard.
And how well he rocked that.
Too bad he ruined his face with all that plastic surgery.
What a shame.
Still, I prefer NO FACIAL HAIR.
I don’t like beard burn when kissing.
And it’s sooo gross when food gets stuck in there.
* gags *
Hey now, I can’t speak to the “seemingly attractive” issue, but I have never been convicted of a crime (that anyone knows of), and I sport a Selleck-ish moustache/goatee. “Dirty” huh, you are talking about looks, right?
Yes. The men I know with facial hair, look dirty to me.
I have only seen but ONE photo of you, so I cannot accurately asses whether or not you are working your facial hair properly.
🙂
Lucky for me my genes don’t carry much weight into allowing the facial hair to gracefully populate the available real estate… I just help the deficiency with a daily shave, keeps things civilized.
Good call!
Oh yes Tom Selleck is one of those guys I envy … He has a broad space between his nose and lips to allow him to sport that big stache.
The video was hilarious.
I actually like the 5 o’clock shadow look – think Sawyer, on Lost. I don’t like kissing a guy with 5 o’clock shadow though. Hurts my face.
I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree with you today; I love a man in a goatee! So sexy! And I love the scruffy look when a man doesn’t shave for a couple of days.
That video cracks me up.
Every.Single.Time.
🙂
Totally hurts the face to kiss a guy with facial hair.
But, I have never seen the show Lost!
Really, Ziva? It doesn’t hurt your face to kiss that?
You know Meleah, in some situations, a little pain is a good thing. 😉
I suppose.
The Husband first grew his mustache in the Navy. (I’m not sure if he had one in high school.) And he HAD to keep it just to make himself appear a bit older than he was. (He looked like a 12-year-old wearing a Navy uniform on Halloween without it. But really, he WASN’T much older than that, anyway. :D) Over the years, he has/does shave it off periodically and his face always looks caved-in for the first day or so. I think he has had almost every style over the years–okay, so he HASN’T had a Fu Manchu or Hitler–and he usually doesn’t look much different in any style because he is blond and it kind of blends into his face. The mustache has never really bothered me much.
Every so often, he would try to grow a beard–and the operative word is ‘try.’ As he’s gotten older, he is a bit better at it, but there are patches of face that are hairless, so he looks horridly mangey-like while trying to grow one. Beards are prohibited where he works–he needs to wear a respirator at times and beards don’t allow an air tight fit–so he can only get a seven-day growth during his long weekend. The ONLY time I wish he could grow a beard is during hockey playoffs, but with the nightmares I get from seeing what some of the players call beards, I’m just as happy that he isn’t allowed to grow one. 😀 Now, if he could look like Tom Selleck with a beard, I’d think about asking him to find another job. ;D
There was a young woman named Nancy,
fell head over heels for a man. He
grew a moustache
and when she was asked,
said: “I like it, it tickles my fancy!”
While I don’t like all facial hair I do lean towards a nicely kept beard and tash. Then again I like men to look like men. You know, with a hairy chest, legs and arms. I do NOT like hairy backs though. I suppose it’s my age showing but I can’t get with these men that wax all over. It’s weird.
My hubby had a beard and tash, then just a tash, then nothing. My dad always had a close cut (chin) beard and tash. maybe that’s why I quite like them.
While I don’t like all facial hair I do lean towards a nicely kept beard and tash. Then again I like men to look like men. You know, with a hairy chest, legs and arms. I do NOT like hairy backs though. I suppose it’s my age showing but I can’t get with these men that wax all over. It’s weird.
My hubby had a beard and tash, then just a tash, then nothing. My dad always had a close cut (chin) beard and tash. maybe that’s why I quite like them.
Mel,
What about the soul patch? Where would Elvis or Hugh Jackman be without their Mutton Chops? Are you telling me you’re gonna turn down George Clooney if he is sporting his scruffy beard (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3304623872/nm0000123)?
I gotta admit, I used to sport a ‘stache in the Army but it wasn’t a good one. Was kind of a cross between the cowboy look and a porn stache. Not a good look for anyone. Nowadays, I stay pretty much clean shaven except on long weekends when I go for the scruffy old John Locke look (http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1648528640/ch0008671).
Too funny, Meleah!!!! And I agree with you about Tom Selleck…yum! Yum! Yum!
Ahahahahahhahaha!!
No thank you!
I love Mutton Chops.
But that’s not really facial hair.
That’s a sideburn thing.
And the ONLY man I would let kiss me with a scruffy beard is Alec Baldwin!
You rock, Agg!
Thank you, Aunt Lynda!
Has NO ONE else realized how FUNNY the word MOLESTACHE is?
And the video? The video KILLS me.
Apparently YOU and I are the only two here with the same sense of humor. And, I know how much YOU like facial hair cuz you married to my Uncle Victor.
Thankfully, he’s one of the FEW men that CAN pull off a beard and or stache and look AWESOME.
Love you, Linga-a-ling.
Hahahaha! That vid is creepy, but funny!
Me? Seriously? I loooove beards! I think they’re sexy, and after all, it’s what nature intended men to look like! To me the habit of shaving facial hair off is rather odd .. .but maybe that’s because my Dad always had a moustache (the ‘English’, according to the Wiki article) and so did my older brother (AND beard) as soon as he could grow one. OH had a full beard when I first met him, and when we married, and for a long time afterwards. Now, psoriasis makes it too itchy for him, but to me he still looks funny without it!
Anyway. Can you imagine Jack Sparrow without a beard??
Oh, CMK!
I have a feeling your hubby probably looked very good with his moustache AND in his NAVY uniform.
I probably wouldn’t even notice a moustache on a man in uniform!
But I think the part that I hate about a beard is what you mentioned, how it looks, “horridly mangey-like while trying to grow one.”
Yes. I can’t stand that!
I have one word for men with hairy backs.
NAIR.
The end.
PS: I don’t mind a hairy chest. I don’t need to slip-n-slide.
But they cannot be like Robin Williams hairy. That’s just too hairy.
Dammit, Jay!!
I forgot about Jack Sparrow.
*swoon *
Now I am going to have to take back everything I said about beards!
HILARIOUS video, Meleah!
OMG….how FUNNY!
Well, sorry, but I LOVE beards and moustaches on a guy, as long as they’re kept neat and clean. And shaped nicely.
I myself don facial hair. Sometimes I have just a moustache, other times a goatee. Presently, I have a closely cropped thin beard, that outlines my jawline and mouth.
Btw, I love Tom Selleck! Woot! Woot!
X
I’m right there with you. I don’t like moustaches on anybody. Period. To me, moustaches reek of the 70s. I think the other part of the reason is that I don’t like to kiss anyone with facial hair. It then becomes a tickly obstacle.
Heyyyy, Tickly Obstacle would make a great name for a band.
OK, I want to retract my statement about all facial hair, because I kind of like the 4 day non-shaved look. It’s the moustaches that totally creep me out. That, and those little tufts of hair just underneath the bottom lip and nowhere else. Also creepy. And, like you, Linda, my husband has approximately 23 hairs on his face, too. If that.
Exactly. Beard burn. I hate that.
Yep me too. Like the look of the shadow, but do NOT want to kiss it.
Tom Selleck will always be super-coolness!
And, I have seen pictures of you.
And, you happen to be one of the few men, who maintains your facial hair properly.
And I cannot thank you enough for that!
xoxoxo
Tickly Obstacle awesome.
Mustaches not.so.much.
Yes, I agree with that too, Margaret.
Because I really do LIKE when Alec Baldwin sports the scruffy look. It’s the MOLESTACHE that needs to GO.
THANK YOU!!
It hurts!! And “Beard Burn” leaves marks all over my face.
And unless you’re Alec Baldwin, NO THANK YOU.
EXACTLY!
Not a fan. The Ex always had a mustache and a goatee for most of our relationship. It didn’t really bother me but it bothered him if I didn’t notice when he trimmed it. Yeah. I wasn’t getting that close the last couple years.
Ahahahhahahhah!!
Properly maintained, facial hair on guys is kind of sexy…and some guys just don’t look right shaved (like my Dad, I HATE HATE HATE when he does a clean shave).