As most of you already know, today my father is undergoing heart surgery. In fact, while you are reading this, I will be in the hospital, sitting bedside, and praying incessantly with my mother.
(Without any internet access. And just when I need all of your comments the most.)
For weeks after learning about my fathers heart condition, I’ve been walking around as if everything is normal. I’ve been telling myself this surgery was nothing more than a standard procedure. I’ve been telling myself this surgery was nothing to be concerned about. I’ve been convincing myself nothing could or would go wrong. I told myself over and again that my father is an active man who also eats well, therefore I could let go of any and all apprehension. And that worked for me. I believed this surgery was nothing more than preventative measures. I began to think this surgery was going to ensure an even longer life for my beloved Dad.
Until I closed my eyes last night.
For the first night since I met “The New Man” I did not sleep over his house. As I laid in his bed, tucked in blissful warmth and snuggled in the glory of new found love, everything surrounding my fathers surgery hit me. At Once.
For a split second I thought: WHAT IF EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY?! What IF something really bad happens?! What IF something does go wrong?! I have waited My Whole Entire Life to HAVE a DADDY like this. I only *got him* when I turned 17 years old. I am not ready to *let go* of him.
And…WHAT IF…
[Insert every conceivable worst case scenario. Then multiply that by a trillion.]
Needless to say, I left “The New Man‘s” house. In the middle of the night. I raced (all of three feet) back to my own home. Thankfully my parents were still awake when I arrived, because jumping into bed with them probably would have been awkward. Anyway. As I flung open the front door, my parents were startled. They thought I had a fight with my New Man. But, of course that was not the case.
I came home because I HAD TO hug my father. I had to tell him how much I loved him. I had to tell him how much he means to me, how important he is to me, and how shitty my life would be without him. As the tears streamed uncontrollably from my eyes, I hugged my father harder than I had ever hugged him before.
And then we all broke down sobbing.
When I woke up this morning, I tried to put on my best Game Face. I usually have the ability to detach myself from any immediate crises, in order stay strong and assume the role of The Rock. I’ve always been able to hold it together in situations like this. However, I am having a hard time swallowing these enormous pangs of anxiety. I am sitting here with so many emotions racing through my heart and one too many thoughts spinning in my head. But, right now, I am unable to articulate them properly. Alas, I will not allow myself to fall apart (again) or express any such emotion (again) until the surgery is over. When I know its safe to feel again.
In the meantime, I am counting on all of you to: say a prayer, send good vibes, and think well wishes. Okay?
I promise to update as soon as possible.
I’m praying for a successful surgery for your dad. I’m sure everything will be fine Meleah. Here are some good vibes being sent to you 😀
I going to say a special prayer for him right now & then go to bed, well, maybe go to bed.
I think that your still up. It’s very late. Why don’t you try praying in bed? Maybe you’ll fall asleep.
“Needless to say, I left “The New Man’s” house. In the middle of the night. I raced (all of three feet) back to my own home. Thankfully my parents were still awake when I arrived, because jumping into bed with them would have just been awkward.” It amazes me how you always manage to keep your sense of humor. ;o)
xXx
My thoughts are with you, your Daddy and your family.
It’s normal to feel anxious, if you didn’t then there would be something wrong!
Meleah: My prayers are with your Dad and your family today. Everything will be fine. We all had the same reaction the day of my father’s bypass, it’s normal. Thinking of all of you today sweetie XXXOOOO
Positive thoughts for you and your loved ones Meleah, specially for your father.
yikes, i will say a prayer for you and your family. i would say don’t worry, but that’s kind of hard to do. it helps to cry and let it out.
My thoughts and prayers are with you Meleah. Hugs!
Good luck to your dad. We’ll be praying for the best results and a speedy recovery.
Wishing the best of luck to your father and the surgeon’s doing the surgery.
We’ll be waiting here with bells on.
Actually…that’s all I’ll be wearing, so at least you have something to look forward to.
I am thinking of you and your dad today, Meleah. I hope the surgery is effective and he recovers nicely. Many, many hugs.
I am going to pray all night for a successful operation and a speedy recovery. I know how agonizing it is to wait. Sending you all my prayers and love. XXXX
I am so thankful for that one Dr. who felt like this needed to be taken care of. I am really excited to know Ronnie McDonnie is getting the chance to extend his life today. I am thrilled to pieces because the procedure he goes/went through today will benefit him and save u and all your family the anxiety of a surprise attack down the road.
I love your Dad so much & I know just how much he means to everyone over on the hill and beyond. He’s so amazing. Now he gets the chance to be more amazing for more time.
Good Luck Ron, and hang in there guys I know its hard to watch your superman in the hospitaliano.
xox
You all are in my thoughts and prayers. He’s gonna be fine Meleah..been there done that myself.
And I’m still ok…well, physically anyways. No one ever claimed I was ok mentally! LOL
I’m hoping that by the time you read this the only heart concern your Dad has is how to fit all the love you give him inside it! 🙂
Hugs and prayers for your Daddy today. And you. I’m sending them your way now.
I have been praying Meleah…and will continue to when God lays him on my heart…which He has a few times already this morning. Have peace my friend that your dad will be okay.
big hugs and big prayers for you my dear. It will be ok….
Now you’re making me cry. I will pray and pray for your dad and your family. Please let us know as soon as you can how things went.
I will pray for you and your family, and am wishing your Dad a speedy recovery.
Hi Meleah,
Everything will be fine and you watch and see that your Dad will be better than ever. All my prayers go out to you and your family.
Amy
It must be scary. You’ll get through this. This will make you stronger & braver and you’ll end up appreciating life a lot more. Peace in your heart Meleah.
We’re all saying a prayer for you and your father Meleah. I am sure that the surgery will go well, and that you will have more time with him. Take care.
Meleah,
My father suffered two major heart attacks and had to have surgery, which did save his life. I thought I was going to loose him too. I was a wreck.
Your father is in capable hands and what will happen, will happen. You will be okay and so will your family. There are a lot of people praying for you and your father (including me) and I don’t care what anyone says, real miracles happen all the time. Please update us as soon as you can. We’re here for you.
I’m glad you meet a new man who sounds like he appreciates you. I hope he is also there to support you today.
XOXOXO
RC
I will also pray for your Dad and your family in this difficult time. God bless!
Nadine
(hatchling friend)
:0)
Your father and family are in my thoughts. I hope all goes well.
No words, hon, no words. Take care and I’m praying like a mad woman everything turns out ok. It has to…I ‘ve missed you.
Good vibes, energy, and prayers are continuing in your dad’s direction. And also in yours. Hugs to you.
Meleah it is totally normal to be on this emotional roller coaster. This is a big deal and scary but I’m sure your dad will come up just fine from this. I have faith that he will. You have all my support and well wishes.
We love you all and you will all be in our thoughts and prayers. Please kiss your Mom and Dad for me…
I guess the surgery is over now. I pray that it went well and that you are all able to relax a bit now.
Keeping you and your dad and family in my prayers.
JDP
Hang tough sweetie – we’re ALL in your corner today.
I am praying and hoping with fingers and toes crossed. I truly hope all went well. PLEASE let us know as soon as you have news…..any surgery makes me FREAKY now. HUGS to you Mel.
Oh, Meleah, honey .. I do so understand. Nothing I can say to change things for you, but I’m sending love and prayers to help see you – and your family – through. ‘Kay?
Update us when you can, meanwhile, stay calm, if you can, and think positively. *Hugs*
Seeing as it is way past 5:00 PM, I am assuming that the surgery is done with and all is well. Okay, as well as can be expected. 😉 I continue to have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Be strong, my dear. xoxo
Many prayers to you and your family.
i pray all goes well, meleah.
WELP he’s HOME & everythings ok Just to let everybody know before Meleah can update!
Glad to hear that he is back home… take care Meleah… God bless you all… cheers…
Oh My God.
Thank You SOOO Much – To Everyone.
I cant tell you how much these comments mean to me and my father. I am blessed to have such wonderful support and love from all of you.
I have great, no I have excellent news!!
I am working on an update for ya’ll.
xooxoxoxoxox
I can’t wait to hear the awesome news !!! Sounds great.
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