I absolutely love my father. And, I truly love to share stories about him with you fine people. As luck would have it, I have yet another tale from the ‘Daddy Chronicles.’
First, you should know that we don’t have very many parking spaces in our complex. And none of them are assigned parking spaces. They get taken on a first come, first serve basis. Most of the time, if you can’t find an actual space, you can still park within the circle. Except for when it’s ‘Garbage Night’. Then you cannot park your car inside the confines of the cul de sac, because the trucks can’t fit past the cars, so they won’t pick up your trash. And if the trash doesn’t get picked up? The whole neighborhood turns into angry, vocal opponents, serving dire consequences upon the person who parked irresponsibly. Therefore it’s best to park somewhere out on the street. Everyone who lives here is fully aware of the parking situation. And everyone parks accordingly. Usually.
You should also probably know that my father thinks it’s terribly rude and horribly selfish for one person to keep the same car, in the same spot, without moving it, for three weeks, in a row. Especially when the owner of said vehicle has no use for the car, and there are so few spaces.
So what did my father do?
He wrote a note.
I don’t know what was funnier to me. The fact that my father had been pulling an unauthorized ‘Neighborhood Watch’ counting the days, just to see how long that car was parked there. Or, the fact that my father was snubbed, when the owner of said vehicle retuned the note, put it on our own front door, and didn’t move his car. Either way, when I realized what was going on, I busted into a hysterical fit of laughter.
I couldn’t wait for my dad to come home, dying with anticipation to find out what his reaction would be. He does not take being ignored, lightly. So when I saw my father’s car pull up, I squealed with delight. I held his rejected note in my hand, laughing. But he didn’t get out of the car. For ten minutes. I couldn’t figure out what he was doing. Or why he was sitting there for so long.
Apparently, my father had immediately noticed the car he complained about still hadn’t been moved. Because when he finally got out of his vehicle, he was wielding ANOTHER NOTE in his hand.
[Side bar: I think it’s totally-super-hilarious that my father went from casually calling him Jeff, to referring to him as Mr. Katz in the second note.]
Now, it’s not even like my father wants to use the parking space for himself. There’s an older lady on our block that works late. And he thinks she should at least have chance to use that space a few nights a week. He felt so badly for her when he saw her forced to park far away, out on the street, in the dark. Full-well knowing there was a perfectly good spot, right by her house, being hijacked by a Pig Parker.
Later that evening, the doorbell rang. Low and behold, it was the Pig Parker himself. Once again, my father quickly channeled his inner ‘Larry David’ and the two of them stood in the street, holding a heated debate on whether or not, the Pig Parker should move his car.
I sincerely tried eavesdropping on the conversation. Sadly, to no avail.
However, I’d like to imagine it went a little something like this… [of course, my dad would be Larry].
Anyway…. whatever was actually said, my father must have been very convincing.
Because the car has since been moved!
And maybe, in the future, I should give this card to my father – to put on people’s cars:
Yep.
That’s My Daddy.
——————-
* So let me ask you a question. Do you think the guy in my neighborhood should have moved his car? Or do you think he has the right to keep hogging that space all to himself?
your dad is adorible and he was perfectly polite….that guy is a pig…..when I was a child my Dad had a bad temper but never addressed to us….one time I saw him explode he was like a stranger…..men and their toys
Hahaha … I’ve done the exact same thing to a few neighbours here who park any which place they like … I love your dad!
Bwhahahahahhahhahaha!
BRAVO!
OMG…I LOVE your father, Meleah!
And YES! I totally agree that Mr. Katz should have moved his car and given others the opportunity to use that space.
BTW, I ADORE your card! FLAWLESS!
“If I see you do this again I will key your shit.”
Bwhahahahahahahhahaha!
Great post, girl! X
When my dad is on a mission, NOTHING can stop him!
Oh good.
It’s nice to know my father isn’t the ONLY note writer!
My father, CRACKS ME UP!
All day, every day!
I wish I was as brave as your dad, but I would probably just moan about it being unfair, and say nothing. Mr Parking Pig was so wrong to hog a space when he doesn’t use his car.
I get quite indignant when somebody parks outside our house, taking our spot. True, we don’t own it, but it’s an unwritten law that a parking space at the front of a house belongs to the person that lives there. Mo now parks on our driveway so we don’t have that problem anymore.
Yeah, I don’t think I can be as confrontational as my father either! But, it sure is funny when he does it.
Ha ha ha! Your dad’s the greatest! Is the Pig Parker’s first name, Peter?
HA! No, it’s Jeff!
Well, I salute your dad; he is one man who is selfless and not afraid to speak up. 🙂
True dat!
The card is completely hilarious! We have parking issues in our complex as well but they’re not like what you’re describing. We technically have 4 spaces ( 2 in the garage + 2 in the driveway) so I’m not complaining about that. But we’re not allowed to park in front of our house over night. Nobody else is waiting for the spot, the ass-oh-see-a-shun doesn’t like cars junking up the street. And if anybody leaves their car parked in the marked common spaces for any length of time, they get tickets, then towed. The guy cruises around at 2am looking for suckers. I tell yah. But your Dad and the notes? Priceless. Much nicer than the notes we got from neighbors about our barking dog…much. LOVE your dad. 😉
Oh Kellypea!
I know you love my dad, you’ve been one of his biggest fans since day one of my blogging adventures.
Gotta say, I love your term “ass-oh-see-a-shun” and I might even steal it in the future!
xoxoxooxox
I love it. Parking is an issue everywhere. I do think it’s selfish to leave your car in the one spot for weeks on end. That would drive me crazy too. Outside my house there is angle parking on the street. You can park two cars outside my gate and I hate it when one selfish person parks in the middle of the spot and leaves it there for ages. So selfish. It’s at moments like that I need your Dad. He is awesome!!!
I love it. Parking is an issue everywhere. I do think it’s selfish to leave your car in the one spot for weeks on end. That would drive me crazy too. Outside my house there is angle parking on the street. You can park two cars outside my gate and I hate it when one selfish person parks in the middle of the spot and leaves it there for ages. So selfish. It’s at moments like that I need your Dad. He is awesome!!!
Ron rocks! And, I can totally see you, jumping up and down like a little girl on Christmas morning, when your Daddy came home. “I squealed with delight”, I laughed my @$$ off!
I can ask my father to write a note for you!
Love ya, Selma!
I was EXACTLY like a little kid on Christmas!
I love that your dad is the parking police! He was right on with his efforts. My dad is the beach police. He watches the comings and goings of tourists, monitors their parking habits, and reports their infractions of beach laws to the local officers. They must be related! BTW – there are “honey badger” shirts on eBay!
I’m not sure which is funnier. Seeing your dad go BSC over the numbnuts, parking moron, or you egging him on from the sidelines. I love seeing him channeling his inner Larry David for the parking scofflaws. I latched onto a site called youparklikeanasshole.com where you can see pictures of other socially parking challenged people. I have even printed out YPLAA notices to put on violators, but I still like your dad’s approach. Don’t mess with him.
Leads me to wonder – how does he feel about putting your garbage out early?
Oh Snap!
We should get both of our father’s “Honey Badger” shirts!
Oh Agg,
Don’t you worry, I have a post about my father & the garbage coming soon!!
And now, I am off to check out that website!!
Those cards, I would skip around and distribute with all the joy of a hippe with free tickets at a Dead show.
I wouldn’t be surprised to see those notes appear on Passive Aggressive Notes. Seriously, submit this post to them!
Ahahhahahaha!
YES!!
I love you, Kim, the miracle ticket/dead reference = awesome!
Really, Nik?
Okay, I’ve never even heard of that.
I’ll look into it. FOR REALZ!
I seriously laughed while reading this! I would have just complained about the guy and drove my husband nuts over it. It is frustrating when others refuse to share but it is even better when someone has the guts to call them out on it! Yeah for your Dad!!
He looks like Tony Bennett and acts like Larry David. Your Daddy needs to run for Mayor!!
When I saw you had another post on your dad I squealed with delight! And this is probably one of the best yet! I LOVE YOUR DAD! Between you and him….you guys need your own reality show!
When I saw you had another post on your dad I squealed with delight! And this is probably one of the best yet! I LOVE YOUR DAD! Between you and him….you guys need your own reality show!
Go DAd!
Always interesting happenings at Meleah’s place!
Your father is so brave, standing up for his own and others’ rights. I can never stand up for my own rights but I recently discovered that I am capable of standing up for my childrens’ rights.
Thank, Lucy!
And, I’m surprised. I would figure you as someone who WOULD confront the pig parker!
Thank, Lucy!
And, I’m surprised. I would figure you as someone who WOULD confront the pig parker!
I think he needs his own reality TV show.
I think he needs his own reality TV show.
I agree, Katherine!
And, he’s been sooo funny lately, that I have FOUR more ALL NEW stories to write about my father!
Coming soon!
I agree, Katherine!
And, he’s been sooo funny lately, that I have FOUR more ALL NEW stories to write about my father!
Coming soon!
You got that right!
You got that right!
Yes you are, Anne!
And, you have my full support if you need anything!
xoxooxxo
Yes you are, Anne!
And, you have my full support if you need anything!
xoxooxxo
Your dad is so cute I could never find fault with him. In my book, he’s never wrong.
It’s very rare for my father to be wrong!!
“This is chaos. Society? can’t function like this.”
“Why don’t you stay confined within the lines of not being an asshole?”
I miss this show sooooo much. I seriously have to rent the last few seasons.
It’s from Season 8. The most recent season.
And when I actually saw this on HBO for the 1st time? I had TEARS running down my face.
The whole time I was shouting at the TV – OMFG! That’s MY DAD!
🙂
Question… How did the “Big Parker” know that it was your father who composed those notes? I ask as I did not see his name at the bottom of the letter…. Did the neighbor recognize his handwriting, or was it Ron’s literary style that gave him up? At any rate… Ron remains the spokesman for the common man, and Joe six-pack. BDawg
He is quite the character, and gets into some interesting situations. I hope you are going to write a book some day. I’d buy it!
This is America. The guy has a right to be an asshole. And we have the right to call an asshole and asshole. Life is beautiful!
I loved it that you laughed! 😀