JCH

Let’s think for a minuet about the fact that I have a molar in my pants pocket… a molar… as in a tooth. Why is a human molar in my pants pocket as I sit at work and wondered what the fuck was poking my leg?

Even though I did remember to be the tooth fairy (at 3am in a dreamy fog state of mind wherein I mistook a 10 dollar bill for a One dollar bill) when the said tooth was free from child gums. But, I did not remember to put the tooth in the disgusting case where all the other fallen teeth are. It’s my son’s tooth, and it is one of the last baby teeth to fall out as he reaches his pre-pubescence.

Maybe I forgot to put the tooth with the other ones, subconsciously…as it is the last of his baby teeth to fall out, and I am hanging on to that tooth, like I am trying to hang on to him still being my baby.

I recently read another blog
AMALAH

Which took me back to those very same days I had, and I miss those days.

At first, when my son lost this tooth, I was all depressed. I was boo hoo-ing over my son growing up. I couldn’t stop myself from thinking soon he’ll drive a car; then, he will go off to college (which reminded me how broke I am and set me off into a sidebar money tailspin). Then, he will find a woman (who I will heavily investigate, back ground and credit checks, criminal and DMV records will be pulled on any and everyone that my son gets involved with) and finally, he will be the last man to leave me…

After more than an hour in my own head imagining my sons graduation, wedding, children f his own, and how hard letting him go would be, I stopped myself with a quick…..UM, get a grip! He’s 10!

But, I have to face it…he is changing / maturing, and, I have to roll with it. As much as it displeases me that he is finding it more fun to be with friends than it is to be with his mommy and how he would rather be in his room playing video games then baking cookies with me. There is nothing I can do about it. Except write about it!

It started off slowly…my son’s pulling away from the “mommy apron.” It began with no more hugs for no reason, not needing or wanting me to kiss a boo-boo to make it better, and before I knew it, things graduated quickly… to no more hand holding in public, not even to cross the street.

I knew this would happen one day, and I knew my days were numbered when I could ware the same shoe size as him, but it was and it still is hard for me to transition from the center of his universe to less significant place.

I know this is a natural process, but its hard letting my baby grow up! While I have the time before my angel takes flight, I do intended to smother him as much as possible, or at least, as much as he will allow me to!

I am dreading the teenage years, which are all too soon ahead of me, but hopefully, just like me, I hope he comes back to his mom when he gets older and has a family of his own.

But today, I wish I was superman with the power to spin the earth back in time to when he was all mine and asleep in my arms.

©Meleah Rebeccah