If I Didn’t Already Hate George W. Bush II…

alert.pdf (this was sent around my office at 2pm)

I Do Now.

(Damn! And just when I said I wouldn’t write about politics.)

Um, yeah so this asshole rides into my state and decides to fuck up the entire! evening ! commute! The arrogance! How can one person be responsible for shutting down every. single. major. traffic. artery. in the state of New Jersey? Oh, that’s easy…because he is an average C student and a selfish prick.

Yesterday, (see the alert file attached above) The New Jersey Turnpike, The Garden State Parkway, Route 1, Route 9, Route 287, Route 27, Raritan Center, and any town USA (with a ‘main street’) was closed… Closed? Closed! As in shut-down, in ALL DIRECTIONS: North, South, East and West. And during the evening rush hour, from 4:30 pm – 7:30 pm to boot.

Gee? Wonder why?

Because we have a President with so many enemies, after having made so many poor choices and so many bad decisions, that he is now at the highest risk for mad crazy protesting.

(Yeah, well… duh.)

If I may speak, to said President, on a personal level, this is the message I would like to make crystal clear:

“Hey! Brainiac! You did not score any points with any one I know in Jersey. In fact, by making all of us suffer, for you convenience, you have managed to accomplish the impossible = more enemies.”

(Which, to any rational human being, poses a multitude of questions.)

“Mr. President, have you ever heard of consideration? I mean….For others? Any consideration, at all…for the general public, as a rule? Hmm? … No? Well, let me be the one to school you.”

“Here is an idea, the next time you borrow some one else balls that are big enough to cross my state line, and you want to schedule a meeting with us nice folk…how about you try something more along the lines of 10 am, ya know? That way, we (the general public) are already at our perspective jobs, or homes, an not trapped together (now as the angry general public) on sweaty highways after spending a day, in a cubical, we most likely didn’t want to be in, in the first place, for some magical social security check, that we may never receive…thanks to you.”

(yes that was a very long, run-on sentence… it just seems appropriate for a “C ” student)

“And another thing you might want to take in to consideration (even though we have made it clear, that consideration, is not quite one of your strong points)… If you had scheduled this meeting complete with the rest of the stupefied, at the10am-ish time slot I suggested earlier, you may have GAINED supporters, rather than pissing more of us off.”

“I, for one, would have been happy to attend some gathering in the interest of constructive political change. And the idea of a meeting of that magnitude would have been an excellent excuse to get out of having to show up at that cubical that makes most of us (me) violently ill. Had you chosen my idea, thus making you a hero, maybe even a friend to us (the general public) you wouldn’t need to shut down every. single. major. traffic. artery…. for fear. of. mad.crazy.protesting”

“Hello? Do you know us at all? We, the general public, all could all use a free, justifiable day off, from work.”

“In the event you continue to remain as dumb as the day you were born (which is now rather obvious after yesterday’s events) in the future, may I be so bold and suggest that any and all commuting needs be executed in the dark. Why don’t you simply try relocating between the hours of 2am and 6 am, cuz we (general public) would all really appreciate that.”

“Oh wait, I forgot, trying to talk to you, is like trying to teach an ant to speak…you just cant.”

In closing, “Stay out of my state. We have enough traffic problems, with the constant perpetuation and construction that happens every year, every May, through late August.”

Thank you and good day.

Oh, and forthe TV lover in you, please go read this little number I wrote, that involves Jerry Springer, David Hasslehoff and Sharon Osbourne.