Let me start by stating I do NOT like scary movies.
At. All.
I do not like scary movies in a box.
I do not like scary movies with a fox.
I do not like scary movies in a house.
I do not like scary movies with a mouse.
I do not like scary movies here or there.
I do not like scary movies anywhere.
I also do NOT like anything haunted, spooky, creepy, ghostly, sinister, or eerie. I have spent my most of my life avoiding All Things Scary.
However, in the spirit of the ‘Halloween Season’ my son with his two best friends, and my girlfriends wanted to go on a ‘Haunted Hayride’ complete with a creepy corn maze also known as ‘The Field Of Terror’ followed by seeing a scary movie.
[Frick.]
Against my free will and better judgment I reluctantly agreed to go with my peeps.
When we arrived at ‘The Field Of Terror’ my girlfriend Tiffany’s son Marco (who is only 8 years old) was NOT feeling it. No Way. No How. He was not going on this ‘Haunted Hayride’. In fact, he was not getting out of the car. It was virtually impossible to convince Marco this would be fun.
[Insert Marco’s temper-tantrum.]
Meanwhile, I was secretly hoping that Marco’s tantrum would prevent ME from having to put on a brave face and deal with being traumatized by fake blood and ghoulish characters armed with chainsaws jumping out in the pitch blackness of a cornfield.
[After all, I am trying to decrease my panic attacks. Not induce them.]
Alas, after quite some coaxing Marco came out of the car. With his tear stained face and racing heartbeat, we all headed over to purchase the tickets.
[Damn.]
As we approached the ticket counter in all of it’s gory splendor, Marco became hesitant again. I over heard the lady selling the tickets for ‘The Field Of Terror’ telling another patron the ‘Haunted Hayride’ lasted at least Forty-Five minutes.
Huh? What? How long? Um…
[Insert exessive sweating.]
Then we learned the tickets cost $20.00 per person. No discounts. Not even for the children. For all of us, it would have cost $140.00. And that’s just ridiculous. Besides, the walk through the 6-acre field would take so long we would have never been able to make the movie on time.
And with that?
We Left.
[YAY! Whew!]
*Important Notice. ‘Corner Of Chaos’ is the REAL & ACTUAL place I was supposed to be. I swear on everything holy, there is not enough Xanax in the world to calm me down had I been subject to that. Marco and I feel utterly relieved to have narrowly escaped that gruesome event.*
But. I digress.
[Back To My Evening.]
We decided to stop at TGI Friday’s for appetizers and drinks, since we still had 40 minutes to kill before the movie.
[Sidebar: My friend Jennifer is kind of like me when it comes to scary movies. She is not really a fan of blood. In fact, she has a tendency to faint at the sight of her own blood. Both her and I were secretly wishing dinner would run long so we would miss the movie all together.]
Shockingly (and possible unfortunately) our service was the fastest service I’ve ever received in any restaurant. The food came and the check was paid before any of us could say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
It was time to see Quarantine.
[Double Frick.]
Um. Yeah. Well.
Long story short?
Forty minutes into watching the movie sucking my thumb with my eyes closed as Jen distracted herself silently text messaging, the two of us walked out of the movie.
I felt nauseas from the shaky camera work. It was almost as if I had been on a cruise ship lost at sea for weeks and was suffering from motion sickness. I had dull headache from the unnecessary loud banging sounds. Not to mention the fact that I was actually scared.
[Sidebar: I’ve walked out on almost every scary movie I have ever been to. With the exception of The Sixth Sense. Which subsequently provided me with a solid year of nightmares.]
Jen and I went outside so that I could enjoy a smoke while the rest of the gang stayed in the movie theater to watch the final horror scenes unfold.
After my smoke, we headed back to the theater only discover we were now LOCKED OUT.
*Awesome*
We frantically tried every single locked door to no avail. Suddenly a mild panic attack overtook the both of us knowing the rest of our group inside of the movie had turned off all of their cell phones. There was no way we could contact any of them to let us back in the building. Thankfully, an employee still cleaning up his popcorn stand saw us and let us back in.
[Sigh of relief.]
Jen and I hung out in the waiting area until the movie ended. A mere 20 minutes later Tiffany and the boys exited the movie. All the while talking about how DUMB an NOT SCARY the movie was.
[Yeah. Maybe for YOU guys.]
We piled into the ‘Fanny Mobile’ (that’s what we call Tiffany’s MiniVan) and began our trek to her house. We had all met at Tiffany’s and it was time to get back to our own perspective vehicles.
I realized just how scared I was, on my drive home from Tiffany’s house. Normally, I am a ‘back-road bitch’, but after seeing that movie, I kept imagining the rabies-infested-zombies springing out of the bushes and landing on to my car. Even though, I took the main highway I kept creeping myself out.
Have I mentioned that I do not like scary movies?
When I was finally safe at home not even Chelsea Handler on The E Channel could calm me down.
Seriously.
This is why I cannot watch scary movies. I tend to suspend all disbelief and no matter how many times I tell myself it’s fake and bad make up, I continue to hold on to the thought this is REALLY happening.
So, I am going to spend my day today watching old episodes of ‘The Care Bears’ on a continuous loop until I can get those horrifying images out of my head.
I Could Use Some Rainbows And Unicorns Right About Now.
Boo! 😉
That’s too bad you don’t like scary movies. I love them! The scarier the better, lol
GREAT story! LOL!
But frankly, I think those smurfs are WAAAAAAAAAAAY scarier than zombies!!!
DCR:
Yikes.
You’re mean!
Rolando:
Not Even A Little.
Olga:
Ha ha ha ha
I can see why the Smurfs might scare a person!
Aww. My friends dragged me to see The Grudge a few years back. I spent the entire movie sitting at the edge of my seat, gripping the seat armrests and trying to figure out how to GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE while keeping my dignity. By the time I figured out a good excuse, the movie ended.
awwwwww you are sooooo cute….lol!!!!! It certainly sounded like a fun evening. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend xxoo
i am not necessarily scared by them,, i just think life is horrifying enough without them… glad you made it!!!!!
I have never liked horror movies since my mother scared the crap out of me one night after watching House on Haunted Hill (aged about 11). She thought it would be funny to put a false polystyrene head on top of hers and creep into my bedroom! Wow was I scared!
GGOM
Silver:
Yay!
I am NOT ALONE in my fear and dismay of horror/scary movies.
I cant handle it. I really cant.
Tonight Tiffany is taking my son JCH and her older son DOM to the Haunted Hayride.
I am choosing to ‘babysit’ Maro (Tiffany’s youngest son).
This way NEITHER of us have to deal with that!
🙂
Graham:
I did have a great time.
I was just terrified.
I love my friends
And I was really happy that my son got to be with his 2 best pals.
But, I would have preferred a simple dinner together!
xxoo
Paisley:
LOL
Life can be pretty horrid at times.
xxoo
🙂
Grumpy:
Yeah that would have given me a heart attack too.
For some reason, my 12 year old son is completely unaffected by scary movies.
I wonder why that is?
OMG! That was so scary. I am the same way, I am scared of the dark quite frankly. You could not have paid me enough to go to the haunted hayride.
I love scary flicks. Watch them all the time. Have a channel on cable called Fear Net which gives horror flicks on demand. There’s a lot of really awful ones out there. But overall I get a kick out of them.
I can’t go on those haunted hay ride. they are too tedious and not scary to me. But I guess others could be but not the ones I’ve suffered through.
My anic attacks are through the roof these days. Meleah I feel like I’m going to die!!!
I’m betting the theater is still trying to get the fingerprints out of the arms of your seat! 😀 I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to the “haunted house” at some fair only to have to endure the hoots, jeers, nasty comments and threats going backwards in the line to get out of the place.
Debo Hobo:
Hey. *Welcome*
I know. There was NO WAY I was shelling out 40.00 for me and my son to have nightmares. No Thanks!!
Ricardo:
You are CRAZY.
Kraaaaaaaaa- Zeeeeeeee
I cannot take anything horror flick-ish.
As far as the haunted hayride is concerned… did you see the website? I was supposed to go HERE.
THANK GOD it didn’t work out. There isn’t enough Xanax in the world to calm me down had I been subject to that kind of horror.
(my panic attacks have been much getting better since I left ‘The Job’.)
Lee:
Im sure they are too.
🙂
Geez. Another reason I am glad I did NOT go HERE.
I screamed out loud when I went to see the remake of the Amityville Horror a couple years ago. I dont’ do scary movies either, although, oddly, I loved the Sixth Sense.
While I don’t really like horror movies, I like ‘suspense’ films. Hitchcock’s movies (Psycho) and The Sixth Sense would be in that category, for me. I equate ‘horror’ movies today with slasher films–THOSE I can’t do. (With the exception of Saw–I found that one more on the suspense end. Can’t watch Saw 2-Saw 3695, though.) But even though I don’t completely mind suspense films, I usually stay away from them, as well. Yup, don’t need any more reasons to NOT sleep when the hubby is on night shift!
Oh, I SO smurf you! You know I do!
The only part of that night that sounded good were the drinks!
Terri:
I would DIE, come back to life, and DIE again…
if I had to watch Amityville Horror.
*yikes*
CMK:
I can handle suspense. Its the horror that does it on for me. I actually LIKED the movie The Sixth Sense too. Even if I did have nightmares. It was kinda worth it.
THIS movie? That was just torture.
I can honestly say, this is the 1st time, Ive been REALLY happy to LIVE @ home with The Parents.
🙂
xxoo
MOMO:
I Smurf you too!
xxoo
🙂
LOL ! Great Story !
I do watch scary movies. The other night I was watching Jekyll & Hyde (2006).
But I don’t like gore and too much blood like Saw – never watched it. Never will.
I’ll reserve that for animated cartoons like Family Guy. LOL !
Here’s a sneek-peek of my Halloween look 😉
You know, when I was younger – a kid through my mid-twenties. I couldn’t get enough of scary movies and books. Now, they just plain freak me out. Especially when the monster is disguised as a child – like in The Ring. That’s just plain wrong on so many levels.
Quarantine? What were you thinking!! 😛
I hate scary movies. Life if scary enough.
IMPORTANT REMINDER!!! SNL has BOTH Tina Fey & Gov. Palin on tonight! This ought to be great! A must see!
I’m never scared of any movies. I know they’re fake. But the element of suprise can get you. For me its in the first Jaws, when the sherrif is chumming and the shark comes up at him. Made me jump.
Watch Young Frankenstein. One of my favs!
Jaffer:
I love cartoons.
Tom & Jerry was my favorite.
Steph:
The Ring = Seizures.
Awake:
I KNOW!!
I KNOW!!
SNL = BOTH Tina Fey & Gov. Palin on tonight!
*biting finger nails
Oscar:
You are BRAVE mister!
I am NOT!
I am sorry but I was distracted by the ‘Fanny Mobile’, you do know what fanny means over here???
OMG Meleah…ahhahaha I knew there would be a good blog post after that experience. My stomach turned the whole way home and I thought I was going to be sick. I just kept hear all of the screaming in my head all night…that’s what really bothered me most besides the shaky camera and the BLOOD! uuughhh – never again will i be talked into it…never.
My panic was increased 10-fold and I just can’t deal… thank god I had the texting to distract me.. and thank you for leaving with me when I couldn’t handle it anymore. I don’t do scary gross movies like that and I will never never do it again! 😀
I love the photos…I saved them to my computer – thanks. Email me any other good ones you didn’t post on Flickr if you don’t mind. 😀 I’ll make sure I send you mine.
I was starting to have a panic attack at the thought of you having to endure that horrible hayride! Glad you were spared that…sorry about the movie. Thank goodness for Care Bears
I don’t mind the odd horror movie as long as it isn’t full of gratuitous violence but I recently saw one of the ‘Saw’ movies and I have to say that it was gross. The movie that has scared me the most in recent memory, however was ‘The Blair Witch Project.’ I still get freaked out when I think about it. I watch comedies when I’m scared – Absolutely Fabulous or The Office. Works every time. Nothing like a good laugh to get the freaky thoughts out of your head. I also have a great DVD of some Charlie Brown episodes and it is brilliant for getting rid of the frights. Snoopy was so cute!
I love scary movies. We just went to the Eastern State Penitentiary’s Terror Behind the Walls, I involuntarily screamed so many times, I had so much fun. As for Quarantine, my daughter said it was stupid, and she knows how to rate a scary movie, being my child. I’ve watched all the good ones. All my kids have loved to be scared since they were born…..Maybe it’s in your blood, or I’m just a psycho who let them watch scare and gore since inception of their lives.
Selma: The Saw Movies Rock, because it’s not just gore, you have to ask yourself what would I do? That’s what makes it scary.
I am so glad that someone else is like me!! I too HATE anything scary…
Back road bitch? This blog just got interesting . . .
A long time ago a cousin of mine (she was barely 5 years old or so), put on a mask and a dark cape and stormed into the kitchen at my parents home shouting “BOO!” to my father, my dad just looked up while still sipping his cup of coffee. I then told her: “Gloria, the only way you can scare your uncle is with either the electric or the telephone bill”. Same here 😉
NO NO NO NO to scary Halloween stuff. I hate it. Even though I KNOW people in haunted houses and such can’t touch you, it does nothing to quell my fears. A few years ago my friend Wendy and I went to a haunted house and I was wrapped around her twice. My heart was pounding and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I’m a huge baby, but I don’t care. And I sure as hell ain’t gonna pay people to send me to an early grave.
Claire:
No. I have no idea what that means over there.
Tell Me!!
My Friend Jen:
Girl I wish we walked out sooner!
I will email you the rest of the pictures.
xxoo
Barbara:
Oh I am soooo happy I got out of the hayride.
Selma:
OMG! Absolutely Fabulous Is one of my ALL TIME favorite shows. I LOVE Patsy!!
The Girl I Would Bring Home:
I cant handle it at all.
My 12 year old son does NOT scare and he said this movie was DUMB too.
But for me, it was too much.
As for the movie SAW…No.Way. I will ever see that. No No No NO
Jodi:
I dont do scary.
Angry:
ha ha ha
*hows the baby?*
Rog:
The phone bill can be frightening!
Heather:
“And I sure as hell ain’t gonna pay people to send me to an early grave.”
Ha ha ha ha.
Im never paying to see another scary movie.
That’s for sure!
OH I totally relate. My husband laughs at me because I jump at my own shadow. Can’t handle anything scary. I freaked out watching Signs –which isn’t exactly a horror movie.
i don’t do scary anything. too scared.
I saw “I do not like scary movies” and I didn’t bother reading the post because I don’t even want to think about scary movies. So as good as I am sure the post was, I didn’t read it, won’t read now and won’t even think about reading it later. I still love you, though.
RJLight:
The Movie ‘Signs’ scared the CRAP out of me too.
I am such a baby.
Valerie:
I will not ever be talked into going to one of those movies ever again.
Sinner:
Dont worry. I didn’t write about the movie.
But, I understand you not wanting to take that chance!
xxoo
no way, if i have to choose between most scary movies and the care bears? i go steve king every time. i hate those little rainbow feckers.
but i would rather just not have either!
i’m so SO not watching “saw” or whatever the heck thing i saw an ad for tonight.
(i’m not at all in-the-loop, am i. ..)
LOL… the care bears ought to do the trick!
I’m not much of a scary movies person myself. They used to crack me up, now they are just disturbing.
PS- I love your rhyme. 🙂
OMG you are hilarious, Mereb. …and I’d have to agree…yikes.
HollyDolly:
You are in the loop. There is a movie SAW (like the 15 billionth sequal) coming out soon. But there is no need to see that movie or Quarantine.
No. Reason At All!
Dawn:
The care bears did help and so did watching the movie ET.
I feel all safe and warm and back in my ‘happy place’ free from blood and gore.
Shae:
Glad I made you laugh/smile
Steph:
I cant with Scary.
But I am glad to have found some WORDS again.
I haven’t been able to really write like I want to and used to since my ‘breakdown’ and just trying to get adjusted to these meds keeps me a little cloudy. Yanno?
Oh you’re such a FUN person 🙂
You’re our rainbow and unicorn.
I can’t watch any scary movie too, so yes I can imagine it.
I love scary movies but I’m too big a coward to watch them by myself … LOL!
I am the EXACT same way when it comes to Scary Movies (although I liked Sixth Sense as well) I can’t stand blood and gore and all that.
We have a local corn maze here though, go during the day if it’s allowed cuz it is fun to do on a nice fall day.
RMH:
Aw. You are soo good to me.
xxoo
Nick:
Ive never been so happy to live with my parents.
Thank god they were here when I got home.
Vinomom:
Its strange too. I can handle DEXTER, In fact that one of my FAVORITE shows, but scary movies? I cant do.
After watching the commercial / trailer for the corn maze Field Of Terror I wont even go in the day time.
I once had a mini van named Mable … with no shocks in back. It bounced up and down like a pogo stick!
Scary movies? … I like them if there is a good plot, and suspence. JUST blood and killing? NOT for me
iiu?op?p!sdn ?u!?!?? ??u ??? ??o?
Upside down not good in comments … Ha haa!!!!!!! 😉
I think you need to go on this ride and have the camera just record, YOU! It would be a huge hit.
Speedy:
Hey….upside down typing does NOT work in comments.
That blows!
I can handle suspense. I love that.
But this movie = Not.For.Me.
Ricardo:
The whole video would be me SCREAMING on the top of my lungs with my eyes closed!
Man did u ever get scare? Want a big comforting hug from me?
It’s just a movie. I love watching scary movies and anything scary. That’s why I am so bummed that we don’t have Halloween in India. I would go as Count Roshculla my alter-ego. Lol, the atheist vampire; crosses or holy water won’t work on me.