Yes people.
I am officially ‘Rapidly Aging’.
And I have proof.
Do ya’ll remember how after ‘Eleven Weeks’ of ‘Doing Things Differently’, I started to notice those ‘Mysterious Painful Lumps’ on my ‘Right Leg’ in addition to suffering from those annoying ‘Crippling Shin Splints’?
You do?
Good.
Well, apparently, these ‘Mysterious Painful Lumps’ are definitely NOT normal.
My doctor ran some tests including an ‘Ultra Sound’ in search of finding ‘Blood Clots’.
But of course, the ‘Results’ came back ‘Inconclusive’.
Eventually, after ‘Fourteen Weeks‘ of ‘Doing Things Differently’, I bought new ASIC sneakers and the ‘Crippling Shin Splints’ magically went away.
[YAY.]
However, the ‘Mysterious Painful Lumps’ did not go away.
[BOO.]
Therefore, my ‘Primary Care Physician’ referred me to a ‘Vascular Surgeon.’
[Which totally sounds a lot scarier than it is. ]
After a few weeks of obsessing, and worrying, and slightly freaking out, it seems as if I don’t really have any cause for concern. In fact, my appointment went much smoother than I had anticipated. Based upon a few simple tests, the ‘Vascular Surgeon’ determined that I have a mild case of ‘Inverted Varicose Veins’.
[Lucky. Me.]
And while they are painful, they do not require any type of surgery at this time.
Instead?
I am being forced to wear this lovely ‘Accessory.’
As you can clearly see for yourself, this ‘Medical LegWear’ really doesn’t ‘Go’ with any of my ‘Outfits.’
Especially because I am not over 75 years old.
[Although my body may disagree.]
Yep.
I have been walking around with this unsightly thingy on my leg.
But so far, I have ONLY worn it when I can spend the day ‘Indoors’.
And, I have only worn it when it’s cool enough to wear pants, thus hiding this hideous ‘Compression Stocking’.
Of course, I am required by ‘Doctors Orders’ to wear this ‘Stocking’ with my ‘Outfits’ especially when I go ‘Outside’ to exercise.
And I am supposed to keep it on my leg for at least one hour after wards.
So, I am going to be brave, I am going to be bold, and I am going to completely humiliate myself when I leave my house to take my walk looking like this:
[Sorry this photo is so blurry. But I have NO IDEA how to set the ‘Self-Timer’ on my real camera so I had to take this one using my computer and that means every time I hit the ‘PhotoBooth’ button I had all of ‘Three Seconds’ to get into position and pose. This was the best I could do people. But I think you get the gist. Yes?]
And clearly, I need to work on my tan. Because my super white skin is absolutely blinding
Now, while I think I will be able to handle walking around my block, seven times in a row [otherwise known as Two Miles], looking like this, I am pretty sure I will never be able to handle the kind of abuse I’d receive if I ever wore this on the Golf Course!
I wish I was your age. It's just…Stuff that goes with life.
Looking pretty good for an old lady!
That's sexy and you look fantastic!
Aw. Thanks Oscar~I feel so OLD with this stocking thingy!
So do YOU my dear love! xoxoxo
Babe you make leg wear look hawttt !!! I'm coming over so we can decorate it and make it look more pretty, so glad it's not serious 🙂
I think it looks like a stocking without a garter. Perhaps you could get a second one for the other leg? That way, it would look like you were making a FASHION statement.
You look fine. Don't worry. 🙂
They don't look that noticible…from a distance. 🙂
Can you put some art on it? Color it? Tattoo it? There has to be some cool things you can do to it to at least make it a little more fun. But who really cares? No one will be looking at the prosthetic looking thing with the body your carrying around. Please woman! You're smokin'! Gotta go, I have sit-ups to do.
Ahahahahaha. Thanks! 🙂
Well I have Six of them. I suppose I could wear one on each leg to make me look LESS weird!
Yeah, like a different state kind of distance! 🙂
Its sheer, like pantyhose, just much much tighter. Actually my foot fell asleep WHILE wearing that and walking this morning. I don't think I can do anything with it artistically, especially since I will have to wash it so it wont stink like sweaty feet! And, thank you for that awesome compliment. xoxox
Girlfriend, with that hot little body, nobody is going to notice the old lady stocking. Glad it wasn't something more serious. Will this make them go away over time?
YAHOOOOOO!
I had a feeling that when you first mentioned this it was varicoes veins. Being a reflexologist, I've seen this on certain clients legs before, so I thought it could be that.
OMG…I bet you're relieved, hu?
And btw….you have a very sexy body, girl! Honestly! It's perfect!
Yeah, I'm PALE too. Isn't it funny how some Italians are naturally darker skinned, and yet some of us are not. My father was, however all us kids took after our mother.
I don't lay in the sun any longer, but I have started applying my self-tanning cream. It's a pain to apply, but it gives me a bit of natural-looking color for the summer.
Have a FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS day, my wonderful friend!
xoxoxoxo
Oh girl, I hear ya. Just wait until you get to be forty-something like me…wait! Did I say that? UGHHH!
Check out my post today and maybe you'll feel a little better. YAY for average people!!!
I think you look sexy in that stocking. In fact, you just plain look sexy. I'm glad you don't need operating on. And damn girl, you look awesome!
Aw, ya look great with or without the support hose! Glad to hear it was nothing serious.
Can't you wear two and call it fashion?
Why do they have such a young girl on the cover of the box?
You don't know blinding white skin until you have seen me.
Look me up when you get false teeth. I hear that is EPIC.
Supposedly, the stocking will reduce the swelling and the pain! I guess time will tell!
🙂
I have to agree, after the push-ups and stomach crunches, the last thing they'll be noticing is your support hose Hey, at least it's not Depends 🙂 You're looking great, keep it up.
A few bumps aren't bad at all. If I looked as young and beautiful as you, I would have 10 girl friends! 😉 My main concern is the pain you are having. I hope the magic stocking works well for you. x
Wear one on the other leg so you are matching and maybe a suspender belt and some lacy…. ummm sorry getting carried away here! LOL
It's really not so bad, just be thankful it's nothing serious! x
Coming from my Favorite New Gay BFF that was the best compliment I've has all day! Although, I wish my body looked more like Sarah Jessica Parker!
Normally, I am ridiculously tanned by this time of year. Seriously, I am USUALLY so tan – people ask me if I am Italian or Spanish!
Im trying to get some sun rays today! I'll pay for the facelift when Im older!
I love you Dana!
*blushing!*
Thank you!
AHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!! Deal!
The girl on the box just makes matters worse!
And, I am totally trying to fix my pale situation right now!
Oh, puh-leese! If you looked like ME–and you have NEVER seen a pic of me for a reason–THEN you could worry about wearing a compression stocking! 😉
Really, though, I think it gives you a more 'athletic' look. You should see the stockings hockey players wear when they are working out! Working out isn't supposed to be pretty–it's the results that matter. And, girl, the results of your DTD are fantastic–you look AMAZING! And I agree: NO ONE is looking a your stocking.
And I will not even comment about how very young you actually are, how absolutely gorgeous you are, and how jealous I am of the way you look-it would make me too depressed. 😉 Don't forget, your medical problem COULD have been much, much worse. At least the solution was simple.
Love you, my dear! xoxoxoxoxo
When all of the hair on your head falls out, hair starts growing out of places hair is not supposed to grow, you need glasses to find your glasses, your bunions have bunions, and your handwriting looks like there was an earth quake happening when you signed your name, you can talk about being old. Until then, you are just growing up.
I think you'll be seen as a 'bad-ass fitness warrior', because people will look at you and say “wow! I wonder what she did to get that injury! She must be really dedicated!”. That's what I would think, anyway.
Rapidly Aging? beg to differ. If you insist on putting the word 'aging' anywhere be sure to add GRACEFULLY before it. Looking mighty fine Meleah 🙂
YAY! Thank you!
xoxoxox Thanks AIR! xoxoxo
Ahahahahahahaha! Good idea!
Thank you SO much – I guess DTD really IS paying off!
I love you too Christine!
🙂
oxxoxo
Deal!
YES! I am TOTALLY using the title 'bad-ass fitness warrior' from NOW ON! ahahahahahaha
Awwwwwww! xoxo
that prothstetic leg is really turning me on.
what are you doing this weekend?
we can eat prunes to stay regular and rub Ben-Gay all over each other…
Aw…. well, I've had those things for years. I had one leg's veins stripped, but I haven't bothered with the other, and no, I don't wear compression stockings. They are hideously uncomfortable (as I'm sure you've noticed) and also HOT.
Medical legWear is the new black! You will be the most stylin' lady in town.
Oh. Alright then. I guess I'll just have to start calling you Old Bat from now on. 😉
Old bat with a tiny waist. Come on, sing it with me now; Old bat with a tiiiny waaiist. Ya know, just like 'Big guy in a little cooaat.' (Chris Farley).
Muwaaah.
You're beautiful dah-ling. It's not how old you are, it's how you are old. ~ Ted Nugent.
You look great with or without it, Meleah! The excersizing (I can't spell excersize, I admit it) is paying off! And I've tried to think of a “You're So Vein” joke, but I surrender, maybe someone else can think of something. I don't know your age, but whatever it is, you look great for it!
AHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!
They are SOFA KING uncomfortable! They make my toes fall asleep!
“Medical legWear is the new black! ” That is friggen HILARIOUS!
Aw! You're the best Marty! 🙂
AHAHAHHAHH!! Singing Old Bat with a Little Waist in Chris Farley voice is killing me!