Listen up, pretty little faces. I really believe 2012 is definitely my year. And here’s why.
After buying a brand new totally-super-swag desk chair I’ve been overwhelmed with inspiration. In fact, I’ve been on a non-stop writing extravaganza wherein I managed to knock out three new chapters. This might be the year I never get any sleep, and this might be the year I rarely update my blog, but I swear on everything holy, I’m going to finish my novel.
[Although, now that I’ve declared it out loud? I’ve probably jinxed myself.]
But that’s not why I brought you here today.
Nope.
I brought you here to share some glorious news.
Apparently, I’m a millionaire.
Yep!
And I didn’t even have to degrade myself like the contestants on The Bachelor or Kim Kardashian.
According to the totally real and not spam email below – I never have to worry about money again.
“After much attempts to reach you on phone, I deemed it necessary and urgent to contact you via your e-mail address and to notify you finally about your outstanding compensation payment. During our last annual calculation of your banking and Internet activities we realized that you are eligible to receive a compensation payment of $2,811,041.00 USD – TAX FREE. This compensation is being made to all of you who have suffered losses as a result of fraud, accident, or illness. For more information, contact the DIRECT UNIVERSAL EXPRESS AGENT for the delivery of your cashier check.”
Who wants to celebrate? Drinks are on me.
IF. ONLY.
Seriously though.
What would you do with two-million-tax-free-dollars?
Sadly, about the same thing I’m doing now – but in a much nicer house. Not a grand house, as sadly, again, $2+ million isn’t going to buy you an awesome house nowadays. But it would be a much nicer house than this one without any friggen leaks in the ceiling making me think I’m getting some type of mold poisoning.
Don’t forget your poor old friends like me with all those millions you’re rolling around in 😀
I love the IF game!!! I think about it all the time so this is so easy.
1. Invest 1/2 of it. I heard if you invest 1 mil wisely, you could live off it forever.
2. Pay off all my debt.
3. Adopt 2nd child.
4. Pay off the houses of three of my aunts and one of their’s tax bills which would allow my mom’s four sisters to do what they want (like crafting) instead of working. My aunt is working during her chemo because she can’t afford not to work.
5. Set up trust fund for my cousin’s handicapped son so my 70 year old aunt and uncle,whom care for him, can stop worrying about how he will be cared for after their death.
6. Go on a trip. (Perhaps NYC to see my friend Meleah?)
7. Move into a nicer house.
8. Buy a new outfit, pair of shoes, a food processor I like, new car, iMac and new diaper bag/purse.
9. Finally splurge to watch a movie in the theater instead of waiting for Redbox or Netflix.
10. I probably should do something for my hubby and dogs. How about a new car, a trip to the groomers and a new bone. Hubby could use the first two and the dos the second two.
What would I do with $2M? One word for you: shoes! Oh wait, another word: cheese!
Seriously, besides paying off our house, doing some renos, taking care of my family, and investing part of it, I think I would take some time off and travel.
What wouldn’t I do?
If only ONE of those emails were real. Or… just pay me a quarter for every one I receive. That would start me on my way.
Very impressive on the all- nighters you’re pulling to finish the novel. Can’t wait to read it!
Congrats on making so much progress on your book! I’m excited for you. When it comes out, I will be first in line to get a signed copy.
As far as the money thing… I’d pay off all of our bills and do a lot of investing so that we could try to live off of it for some time.
Heeey Mel, Old Friend,
Did I ever tell you about this really sure-fire investment deal I
uncovered? Absolutely guaranteed to triple quadruple your money in
just 6 month. I mean, by this time next year, you will be wiping
your nose with a bunch of Benjamins! For
a mere $300k, I can get you in on the ground floor of this deal, but you have
to promise not to tell anyone else. How
can you miss?
And if I ever did strike it rich, I’d pay off my bills, take care
of my parents, buy a new set of wheels for myself, my wife and my son, and I’d
buy a place on an island where I don’t have to listen to all the political and
media circus. Of course, that will be
right after we do a week in Vegas, Baby.
I’ll even invite some of my blog friends along for the show.
Heeey Mel, Old Friend,
Did I ever tell you about this really sure-fire investment deal I
uncovered? Absolutely guaranteed to triple quadruple your money in
just 6 month. I mean, by this time next year, you will be wiping
your nose with a bunch of Benjamins! For
a mere $300k, I can get you in on the ground floor of this deal, but you have
to promise not to tell anyone else. How
can you miss?
And if I ever did strike it rich, I’d pay off my bills, take care
of my parents, buy a new set of wheels for myself, my wife and my son, and I’d
buy a place on an island where I don’t have to listen to all the political and
media circus. Of course, that will be
right after we do a week in Vegas, Baby.
I’ll even invite some of my blog friends along for the show.
OMG…I’ve gotten that EXACT same email!! In fact, I just got it recently!
Well, what would I do with $2mil?
First, pay off my two credits cards, then share a hefty amount with my mother and brother.
And then….take a year off and travel the world!
So GLAD to hear you’re receiving inspiration to finish your novel. You GO, girl!
And remember, when you go on your book tour, I’m going with you as your FREE assistant, because I’ll be a millionaire and won’t have to work – HA!
X
I’ve had my list for years (hear that Powerball?). Pat off our debts, take care of family members, donate some to the organization I volunteer with, and do something for a couple of deserving friends. Then I have a couple of toys I’ve had to put off getting. And since I could afford to pay for my own health insurance, I might consider retiring.
Haha, I thought you were going to announce that you won the lottery, or something like that. If only…
‘
But I totally have faith that you will finish your novel!
I am so glad to hear you are making progress on your book and feeling this is the year for you! I can’t wait to read your book!!
Boy, dare I dream? I guess I would pay off some stuff and live a little more simpler!
A new house would be awesome!
I won’t, Nick!
That is the best list ever, June!
Ah yes, shoes & cheese!
You’re a woman after my own heart.
Love ya, Nicky.
xoxox
Thanks, Rachele.
My sleeping schedule is ALL screwed up. But I am staying focused & dedicated to writing this darn thing!
Good call, Mike!
I have a feeling this novel might take the rest of my life to finish.
You crack me up, Agg.
A would definitely want a place on an island.
But if I ever went for a weeks vacation in Vegas, I have a feeling I would come home in a body bag.
Oh hell yes, Ron.
I definitely need someone to COME WITH ME.
Thank you for offering to be my assistant.
Nice, Jim.
If only, Nik. If only!
🙂
It would be an honor!
X
Hee-hee, don’t you love those emails! I’m so happy you’re feeling so inspired, Mereb. I cannot WAIT until your novel is fait accompli, and the world can see how strong and wonderful you are!! xoxo
How very sweet of them! So glad they considered it to be urgent, as of course it is! If anyone deserves to suddenly become a millionaire, it’s you! 😉
2 million tax free dollars??? Private jet to travel the world and see all of my favorite bloggers hangouts!
Now you can afford a Rolls and a chauffeur to drive you over bridges….. :))))))))
I’d have to buy a house too but I also wouldn’t mind a bit of bling. Just a little bit. And definitely some shoes. I’d also love a new car – the faster the better. VROOOOOMMMMM!!!
I blogged about it a while back.
Trampoline room. Carpet covered walls. Velcro suit.
You coming over?
A week in Vegas would be epic. The stuff of legends.
Ohhhh…. lots and lots of money…. I’d pay off all of my debt. Spend a bunch of it frivolously on cars and clothes and shoes and other fun stuff. Then I’d be responsible and invest and help out friends and relatives and some charities and …. other than that, I guess not much would change! 🙂
I am totally holding you to this promise.
After all, I have it in writing.
That’s like a legal contract. Right?
xoxoxo
Awwwwwwwwwwww.
Thanks, Steph.
I am flattered you feel that way.
AHHAHAhhHAhHAHhAHhA
I better be on that list of “must see bloggers”
HELL YES!
Totes!
Yes please!
Meleah + Vegas = BODY. BAG.
Awesome answer, Terri!
You better believe it, girl.
That’s a PROMISE!
X
YAY!!!!
Pay off my mortgages. Two new cars, one for me, one for Muri. Couple hundred thousand for my two kids. Invest the rest. Pretty boring, huh? Well, I guess my kids wouldn’t think so.
So were you the victim of fraud, accident or illness? Forget I asked, I just realized that we have a winner with illness. Obviously it’s true. How else would they know that you were sick last year?
A couple years ago, I added up all the lottery and inheritance money that had come my way during one particular month. I don’t remember how many millions it all added up to.
With two million dollars, I would build a nice big house, inside a hill, well above flood levels.
Good luck on the novel. You can most certainly finish it this year. I finished mine a couple weeks ago. Just waiting on the final word from my editor. I started it in 1992.
Congrats on all the writing you’re doing. I’m so proud of you! As for the $2 mil — sock enough away so I never have to live under an off ramp and give the rest to animal rescue organizations.
Unfortunately, $2 mill is not enough to let you quit your day job. Still, it’s a nice chunka change. Minor home improvements, upgraded landscaping, maybe a lear jet to Paris for a couple of weeks. Then charity contributions. And trust funds for the grands. All done!
Congratulations on the writing! You’ve got a magic chair! As far as the two million dollars goes, I’d stick it in a money market, never work again and live happily ever after in New York City!
My wish list is just AS boring!