Have you ever stopped blogging with words for an entire month, in order to participate in a 30-Day-Photo-Challenge, which was totally-super-fun, and you very much enjoyed meeting new people, because they turned out to be totally-super-cool, and not just because they posted pictures that were totally-super-awesome, but also because they turned out to be pretty totes amazeballs.
And you’d definitely sign up to do it again, because it was totally-super-interesting to use a completely different part of your brain, that had nothing to do with words, and everything to do with the way you perceive visual images. And it was a totally-super-fascinating to experience a new way to exercise that particular part of your cerebral cortex, even though you still don’t completely understand the correct definition of the term outlier. And you’re totally-super-okay with that.
But it was also totally-super-time-consuming, and now that it’s over, you’re totally-super-happy, because seriously, you’ve really missed putting words on paper, especially funny ones.
And you’re REALLY sick of saying “totally-super-insert adjective” because that’s the very term you’ve been abusing, over the past 30 days, while trying to express your reaction to other people’s pictures. And quite frankly it’s enough already.
So you carve out specific time, in your ever-so-busy schedule, preferably during the late night hours, so no one will disturb you, or interrupt your train of thought, just to write a new blog post. Because man, you haven’t told a story to the Internet in like forever, yo. And nothing makes you happier than finding the funny.
As you prepare for your glorious return, to a world filled with words, you turn off your cellphone, shut down your email, and log out of Facebook. You light your favorite candles, brew a fresh pot of coffee, and open a new pack of cigarettes. And for the first time in weeks, you gaze lovingly at a blank piece of paper. And you’re all kinds of excited, and you’re all kinds of jazzed, and you can’t wait to see what humorous ideas will emerge from the recesses of your mind.
Except that you draw a complete blank, because you’re totally out of practice, and, you’re totally burnt the fuck out, and the only thing you have been writing is your totally-super-dark and totally-super-depressing novel, for the past 18 weeks, in a row. And that may, or may not, have sucked all of the funny, right out of you.
[And holy shit. There’s that goddamned term again. Please, for the love of all things bacon, make it stop.]
In spite of your frustration, you try to remain positive, and even hopeful, because you’re fairly certain, there MUST BE at least ONE tiny, little, shred, of comedic material, for you to work with, you just have to dig deep enough, and remember how to string together sentences, correctly.
So you take a deep breath, light another cigarette, and pace around the house.
And pace around the house.
And pace around the house, some more.
And maybe even dust the bookshelves.
And then you wait.
And, wait.
And, wait.
For something.
Anything.
To magically present itself.
But nothing ever does.
Nope.
Nothing comes to mind, even though you’ve picked up a proverbial microscope, and placed it over every single event, big and small, that happened in your life, within the past 30 days, none of which you’ve blogged about.
And you didn’t blog about them, NOT just because you were totally-super-busy with that totally-super-exhausting photo challenge, but MOSTLY because, for the past few weeks, you’ve also been totally-super-medicated, on totally-super-heavy-duty painkillers, because of totally-super-annoying-medical-conditions, that are totally-super-gross, and totally-super-uncomfortable, such as blepharitis, except that it was nothing like blepharitis, it was more like puberitis, and you definitely do not want to talk about that.
[AND … HOLY HELL. There’s that term. AGAIN. FML]
As you grow increasingly frustrated, you will inevitably morph from ‘David Banner’ into ‘The Hulk’ and that’s when you will begin pecking at the keyboard, violently, stuck in a brutal cycle commonly referred to as the: “type & delete, type & delete, rinse & repeat dance.”
Except that there isn’t any dancing.
There’s only chain-smoking.
And yelling.
And lots, and lots, of vodka.
Eventually, you will panic, because you’ve been working totally-super-hard to construct something worthy of posting, and you’ve gotten abso-fucking-lutely nowhere.
And it’s almost daylight, already.
And you still can’t find your voice.
And clearly, your brain is broken.
And then you realize NO ONE is even going to read this blog post because it’s TOTALLY-SUPER-LONG and you’ve definitely surpassed your “totally-super-insert-adjective” limit about a thousand words ago. And you should probably walk away from the computer right now, before you lose the last of your readers. And possibly check yourself into some kind of Language Clinic, where you can relearn how to speak English properly, and maybe even learn some new phrases, like immediately.
So yeah…
Has that ever happened to you?
A totally-super blog post. Looks like you actually found something to write about and it’s totally-super awesome. Totes! Welcome back to the real world. But be careful. Re-entry can’t be accomplished too quickly for fear of totally-super burn-out.
Totally-super-over the top-awesome post! Looks like you bottle up a lot of thoughts/words/emotions/angst there and all of a sudden had a
Imodium moment. I didn’t think it had already been 30 days.
I’ve loved the “wordless Meleah” of late but I’ve missed your witty humor. Although, from all the back end remarks you added to everyone’s comments, I think you had written almost as much as you did in your blog. I know it’s been a while, but you should ease back into it one word at a time. Start with small, simple words (Hulk, smash, vodka) and work your way back into the bigger ones (sofaking awesome).
only YOU can write about not being able to blog and pull out a totally-super cool and funny post outta your um behind. the picture project was fun. i think you should keep it going in addition to your regular blogging.
I read through the entire thing (since you claimed that no one would). It was totally-super awesome!
I haven’t seen my muse in years, so I know how you’re feeling. You managed to do a good post about not being able to post, which is a feat in itself.
“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
– Jack London
ladyV took the words right out of my mouth….
“only YOU can write about not being able to blog and pull out a totally-super cool and funny post outta your um behind.”
This post ROCKS!
I loved this line…..
“but also because they turned out to be pretty totes amazeballs.”
HAHAHAHAHAHA! How the hell do you come up with those brilliant adjectives??? As I shared in my comment to you on my blog, I really enjoyed this 30-day photo challenge. And you’re right, posting photos is so completely different from posting words. As you know on my blog, I post a bit of both. Sometimes I feel like writing, other times I just wanna share photos. But I’ll tell ya, girl, no matter WHAT you post, I’ll always be here!
Your adoring fan…
Ron
X
Missed you!
Nope. Can’t say that has ever happened to me. 😉 But glad that it happened to you…looks like you’re getting back your blog-writing mojo back quickly, all in one dose, just don’t burn out too quickly. 🙂
Totally-super-true!
Agg!!
AHAHhahahahahh!!
Best. Comment. Ever.
Valerie,
Thank you sofa king much.
And, I think I might write one blog post per week, and post one photo per week?
Hmm………..
Awwwwww!
Thank you, Anne!
YOU are totes amazeballs!
Can I use a golf club?
Oh Ron!
I freaking love you.
And your blog.
And your photos.
And your sense of humor.
And your spirit.
And well…
Everything about you!
xoxoxoxox
Missed you too, Nik!
Thanks, Bryan!
Hahaha, writing-Meleah is back and she’s totally-super-awesome-amazeballs! I love it.
Ditto to you, girl!
xoxoxoxxo
Ahahahhahaha!
Thank you, Ziva!
🙂
“pretty totes amazeballs” .. is that like “corn doggin” bestest peeps ? just wondered
Nonamedufus, used my totally super adjectives to describe your post. Hey, Meleah, there isn’t a snowball’s chance in Hell, that you would lose me as a reader. Too bad for you, if you were hopeful. I did read your super amazingly long post about not being able to write a post and found it super entertaining.
As far as any of that ever happening to me. Drawing a blank on writing…OH YEAH, ALL the freakin time.
Welcome back to your ‘voice’. And yes, I read it in it’s entirety, again. And don’t ever even think of putting limits on your adjectives, they’re “Totally-Super-Awesome-Amazeballs”.
Wow! Happy to finally meet your writing head-on. It’s like a collision between the manic pent-up energy just aching to finally be heard and the words are all tangled up into knots because they’ve been quiet too long. The adjectives need to be spit out one last time as a cleansing ritual to engage that part of your brain that is longing to laugh and dance and smile at the world.
Totally-Super to have your words back, they were missed!
Probably NOT!
Aww!!!
I puffy heart you!
xoxoxo
HA!!!!!!!!
TOTES!
Fer cereal!
It happens to me, it just all happens in my head. I’m trying to use social media for something other than squee-ing at cute doggy pictures and taking ideas and inspiration to make the words, and all the other must-dos happen. We’ll see how it goes.
Good luck!
WORDS!!!! Glorious words! The answer would no, that has never happened to me…not in so many words 😉
I love it when you draw a complete blank and have nothing to write about! 🙂 I thoroughly enjoyed your pictures, but I’ve missed your totally awesome Meleah phrases. Happy to have you back! 🙂
HA HA HA! You are like me… I just finished writing and writing and writing… I had to get it all out!
WORDS!! YAY!
Thank you, Shadow!
Totes!
Yeah. Sort of. I went like six days without posting and it felt like I forgot how to write. Give yourself a day or so. I promise you’ll totally-super get back in the swing of things.
(I don’t think I used your Totally Super adjective properly. Forgive me!) 😉
Where’s your outtakes, dammit???
I didn’t read it yet – because I was going to do this AS A BLOG idea for my own stupid blog. Guess it’s not that original an idea now, is it? Dammit. Twit. 😉
No. I have no idea what that’s like. Could you pass the vodka please? And, with all you medical experience, would you happen to know of a doctor who could surgically remove this camera from my face?
I love how you can turn writers block into hilarity! The 30 day photo challenge was great and I hope you continue to post photos, the once a week idea you mentioned would be coo!
Totes super absolutely. I know exactly what you mean. So glad to have you back 😀
Aw, Terri!
You used totally-super just fine!
I deleted all my outtakes!
??
Sending the vodka now!
And, I’m fairly certain that camera will be stuck there, forever. Maybe even longer!
Thanks, Marty!
HA!