GoGirl. So Fresh, So Dry.

Okay, people.

As of late, I find myself thoroughly fascinated with strange, bizarre, peculiar, and outright weird products. Especially when they are as interesting and/or as insane as the one’s I’d like to talk to you about. Because I’m sitting here shocked, and amazed, and laughing out loud. But mostly, shocked and amazed. Mind you, these are REAL products. And I’m dying to know what you think.

Onward.

The First Product *Calling All Vagina’s.

What is the image above you’re looking at?

Well, it’s called GoGirl.  Apparently, life’s greatest adventure shouldn’t be finding a bathroom.

[And having personally suffered from many a ‘bathroom issue’ I was immediately intrigued.]

According to their website: GoGirl is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant, or even non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to pee while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic.

WHAT. THE. WHAT.

President and Founder, Sarah Dillon, debuted her product at the local State Fair. And she has been making bank ever since. Obviously, I needed to know more. Like, how exactly does this crazy contraption work? It appears that all you need to do is lower your panties, and put GoGirl against your body, until it forms a seal, aim, and then, well, pee. GoGirl has special splashguards designed to eliminate messing and spilling. So, you won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one.

One of their Tag Lines is ‘Don’t Take Life Sitting Down’ – which I think is quite clever.

Their website also states that European women have used female urination devices for years. Really? Is this true? And if so, can/will any of my European readers vouch for that?

Honestly, I think this is very interesting. I even believe this product may actually come in handy while playing golf this year. Because nothing says, “Classy” like peeing, standing-up, behind a tree, on a golf course. Right? I mean c’mon, I can attest to how rough it is on a woman when you are getting ready to tee-off and your suddenly hit with that urgent need to ‘go’, except that there isn’t a facility to use, for miles. Maybe this apparatus would provide some much needed relief? Maybe I would be like a superhero with magical peeing powers? Or maybe, I will just get kicked out of the country club?

So tell me, ya’ll, what do you think?
Interesting? Or. Insane?
Brilliant? Or. Disgusting?

The Second Product *Calling All Balls and Breasts.

When I first saw the advertisement for this I truly thought it was a mock, Saturday Night Live, commercial. But after I stopped laughing hysterically and regained my composure, I discovered this was no joking matter. Oh, no. This was made for people who suffer from ‘Sweaty Balls’ or ‘Sweaty Breast’.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Considering I don’t have a package, or junk, or balls, I did some Online Investigative Research and I discovered that ‘Sweaty Balls’ are a real issue that men face, all the time. And it can be quite embarrassing.

Take for instance, this poor guy,

“Hi, I have a problem that I am embarrassed to talk to anyone about. I have sweaty balls. The sweat itself is not so much a problem, as the smell is. I don’t have a girlfriend because I fear that a girl might laugh if she found out about my situation. I am desperate. Please give me some advice on how to eliminate the problem of sweaty balls.” – Anonymous

Well dude, you’re in luck. The makers of Fresh Balls ^TM are here. And they come wielding a natural solution. Aptly named, the product is called, So Fresh, So Dry.

According to the website: Excessive perspiration may cause itchy balls, under boob sweat, cleavage sweat, and more. For the first time, there are products formulated specifically made to relieve the wetness and the uncomfortable feeling of ball sweat and ball itch. It also prevents chafing in those areas. Fresh Balls ^TM and Fresh Breasts ^TM are natural products, Aluminum Free, Paraben Free, and Talc Free, and contain Oatmeal as an anti-irritant and Tea Tree Oil – so they are anti-bacterial.

Fresh Balls ^TM and Fresh Breasts ^TM are not available in stores, only through their website. They come in a small gray or pink tube, perfect for at home, or on-the-go. The packaging is discrete. And *bonus, they ship worldwide.

Once again, I think this product is also interesting. And here’s why….

As woman, for years, I have been slightly mortified by all of the tampon, Monistat, and other feminine-product commercials that are constantly splashed over the television, magazines, and the Internet. Finally, the ‘down-town-grooming-spotlight’ is shining on The Men.

Yes, sometimes, I have boob sweat. In fact, my cleavage has been known to glisten. However, it’s not exactly problematic. Do you want to know what I think IS problematic? Smelly. Balls.

I think I can safely speak for every single woman ON THE PLANET, when I say WE have undergone immeasurable, and sometimes even painful procedures to keep our Pink Taco’s in check for you, and it’s high time YOU returned the favor.

I’m not asking the men to wax, or shave, their balls. I’m not even asking you to commit to showering daily. Although that would be nice too. But, since Fresh Balls ^TM is an easy to apply lotion that dries quickly, and it won’t clump on your skin or leave a powdery residue in your pants, it can be used as often as needed. Therefore, I am HIGHLY RECOMMENDING you start using this as part of your daily grooming routine.

Please?

Thanks. In. Advance.

So tell me, ya’ll, what do you think?
Interesting? Or. Insane?
Brilliant? Or. Disgusting?

* Just so you know, I did not receive any form of compensation for writing about these products. However, I was utterly compelled to write about them. I’m also kind of hoping the makers of these said products decide to send me a ‘free sample’ – on the remote chance they stumble upon my little corner of the Internet.  Because quite frankly, I’d really like to put these products to the test, to see if they can stand-up and deliver on all their promises.