Okay, people.
As of late, I find myself thoroughly fascinated with strange, bizarre, peculiar, and outright weird products. Especially when they are as interesting and/or as insane as the one’s I’d like to talk to you about. Because I’m sitting here shocked, and amazed, and laughing out loud. But mostly, shocked and amazed. Mind you, these are REAL products. And I’m dying to know what you think.
Onward.
The First Product *Calling All Vagina’s.
What is the image above you’re looking at?
Well, it’s called GoGirl. Apparently, life’s greatest adventure shouldn’t be finding a bathroom.
[And having personally suffered from many a ‘bathroom issue’ I was immediately intrigued.]
According to their website: GoGirl is the way to stand up to crowded, disgusting, distant, or even non-existent bathrooms. It’s a female urination device (sometimes called a FUD) that allows you to pee while standing up. It’s neat. It’s discreet. It’s hygienic.
WHAT. THE. WHAT.
President and Founder, Sarah Dillon, debuted her product at the local State Fair. And she has been making bank ever since. Obviously, I needed to know more. Like, how exactly does this crazy contraption work? It appears that all you need to do is lower your panties, and put GoGirl against your body, until it forms a seal, aim, and then, well, pee. GoGirl has special splashguards designed to eliminate messing and spilling. So, you won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one.
One of their Tag Lines is ‘Don’t Take Life Sitting Down’ – which I think is quite clever.
Their website also states that European women have used female urination devices for years. Really? Is this true? And if so, can/will any of my European readers vouch for that?
Honestly, I think this is very interesting. I even believe this product may actually come in handy while playing golf this year. Because nothing says, “Classy” like peeing, standing-up, behind a tree, on a golf course. Right? I mean c’mon, I can attest to how rough it is on a woman when you are getting ready to tee-off and your suddenly hit with that urgent need to ‘go’, except that there isn’t a facility to use, for miles. Maybe this apparatus would provide some much needed relief? Maybe I would be like a superhero with magical peeing powers? Or maybe, I will just get kicked out of the country club?
So tell me, ya’ll, what do you think?
Interesting? Or. Insane?
Brilliant? Or. Disgusting?
The Second Product *Calling All Balls and Breasts.
When I first saw the advertisement for this I truly thought it was a mock, Saturday Night Live, commercial. But after I stopped laughing hysterically and regained my composure, I discovered this was no joking matter. Oh, no. This was made for people who suffer from ‘Sweaty Balls’ or ‘Sweaty Breast’.
Yes, you read that correctly.
Considering I don’t have a package, or junk, or balls, I did some Online Investigative Research and I discovered that ‘Sweaty Balls’ are a real issue that men face, all the time. And it can be quite embarrassing.
Take for instance, this poor guy,
“Hi, I have a problem that I am embarrassed to talk to anyone about. I have sweaty balls. The sweat itself is not so much a problem, as the smell is. I don’t have a girlfriend because I fear that a girl might laugh if she found out about my situation. I am desperate. Please give me some advice on how to eliminate the problem of sweaty balls.” – Anonymous
Well dude, you’re in luck. The makers of Fresh Balls TM are here. And they come wielding a natural solution. Aptly named, the product is called, So Fresh, So Dry.
According to the website: Excessive perspiration may cause itchy balls, under boob sweat, cleavage sweat, and more. For the first time, there are products formulated specifically made to relieve the wetness and the uncomfortable feeling of ball sweat and ball itch. It also prevents chafing in those areas. Fresh Balls TM and Fresh Breasts TM are natural products, Aluminum Free, Paraben Free, and Talc Free, and contain Oatmeal as an anti-irritant and Tea Tree Oil – so they are anti-bacterial.
Fresh Balls TM and Fresh Breasts TM are not available in stores, only through their website. They come in a small gray or pink tube, perfect for at home, or on-the-go. The packaging is discrete. And *bonus, they ship worldwide.
Once again, I think this product is also interesting. And here’s why….
As woman, for years, I have been slightly mortified by all of the tampon, Monistat, and other feminine-product commercials that are constantly splashed over the television, magazines, and the Internet. Finally, the ‘down-town-grooming-spotlight’ is shining on The Men.
Yes, sometimes, I have boob sweat. In fact, my cleavage has been known to glisten. However, it’s not exactly problematic. Do you want to know what I think IS problematic? Smelly. Balls.
I think I can safely speak for every single woman ON THE PLANET, when I say WE have undergone immeasurable, and sometimes even painful procedures to keep our Pink Taco’s in check for you, and it’s high time YOU returned the favor.
I’m not asking the men to wax, or shave, their balls. I’m not even asking you to commit to showering daily. Although that would be nice too. But, since Fresh Balls TM is an easy to apply lotion that dries quickly, and it won’t clump on your skin or leave a powdery residue in your pants, it can be used as often as needed. Therefore, I am HIGHLY RECOMMENDING you start using this as part of your daily grooming routine.
Please?
Thanks. In. Advance.
So tell me, ya’ll, what do you think?
Interesting? Or. Insane?
Brilliant? Or. Disgusting?
* Just so you know, I did not receive any form of compensation for writing about these products. However, I was utterly compelled to write about them. I’m also kind of hoping the makers of these said products decide to send me a ‘free sample’ – on the remote chance they stumble upon my little corner of the Internet. Because quite frankly, I’d really like to put these products to the test, to see if they can stand-up and deliver on all their promises.
Having spent some time in the plastics molding industry (engineering stuff) I do wonder how the GoGirl product development meetings went, it’s odd but I see no mention of small, regular or large sizes… does one GoGirl size fit all?. On the plus side the thing may enhance the snow writing abilities AND it may redeem men if a GoGirl wearer tries to go on the toilet without splashing on the sides (no matter how careful one is there is always the accident, been there done that, cleaned it up). On regards of the Freshstuff… it’s kind of kinky, could be a mood enhancer on the FORE! 😉
As funny as it sounds I think they’re both good ideas. They are problems people have and never talk about and someone had the guts to make a product to fix it. There’s been so many times I’ve had to pop a squat somewhere! If I would have had this my life would have been so much easier! Lmao
As funny as it sounds I think they’re both good ideas. They are problems people have and never talk about and someone had the guts to make a product to fix it. There’s been so many times I’ve had to pop a squat somewhere! If I would have had this my life would have been so much easier! Lmao
WoW! I must tellyou I think I saw something like this on Mrs 4444’s blog a while ago. She [pretended to use it. LOL
As far as “Fresh Balls/Breasts”, I do well with baby powder, or Showere to shower. I’m a lil nervous about what I ….apply!
I saw the commercial for fresh balls and thought it was a goof too!
Ah yes, I have known about Go-Girl for some time. I laughed at the insanity when I first saw a video about it ! But hey, I am all for it if the ladies will not sit down in public places !
There are many kinds of ball-creams and ball-powders in the stores – it’s not too hard to find one – if you know the technical terms that is.
But I am glad some-one decided to break with the norm and say it out loud !
Unfresh balls can lead to other infections such as boils for example. No man wants a boil on his ball !
wheeww you just saved me a shocking experience..the next time I am on the golf course and I see a woman standing behind a tree peeing I will know what’s going on ….otherwise I would have thought it was Transvestite Wednesday at the local country club…:)…. OK now thanks to you I have to try Fresh Balls….:)))))))))))
Oh, Rog! You crack me up!
I am really digging these products too.
And, since I for one, have no problem discussing such ‘taboo’ topics
I just HAD TO blog about these!
The commercial for Fresh Balls is HYSTERICAL.
I love the NAME of the product too! It’s too funny.
And, yeah, women also get boils down there.
They are called Bartholin Cysts.
Which was a little fact I learned the hard way.
But that is another blog post entirely!
Haha… so did I sis… so did I …
Yes, I am here to educate today!
He he he he!
It’s always so nice to see you around here, Jaffer!
I’ve seen that pee cup thing before in a magazine!! Knowing me, I would get pee EVERYWHERE, thus making the public bathroom stall even less sanitary than before. As far as the fresh balls cream, I am full-heartedly in favor of any product that will freshen up those sweaty sacs!
OMG!!!!! I’ve seen the Go Girl on someone else’s blog about year ago, and HOWLED!
” GoGirl has special splashguards designed to eliminate messing and spilling. So, you won’t be like a man. You’ll just pee like one.”
Bwhahahaahahahhaha! I should get me one of these. I know I shouldn’t say this on the Internet, but no matter what I do….I still splash. So now (when I’m home and have to pee) I sit like a lady! However, when I’m out in a public restroom I stand because the toilets are a MESS, so I don’t care if I splash!
And as far as Fresh Balls for Men? I just use a sprinkle of baby powder during the hot summer months.
I know….TMI.
Fun post, girl!
X
You and me both, Brooke! You and me both!
It’s NEVER Too Much Information around here, Ron!
xoxoxo
These products will make the most amazing Christmas gifts ever! I can’t wait to see my son in law’s face when he opens his present!
Ha ha ha! How did you find these products? Hilarious and they made me think of this: http://twe.ly/aXfb You go girl!
Oh hell yes! Linda! What an AWESOME idea!
AHAHHAHAHHHaHHHHHAHAHHAHHA
That’s how I roll, Marty!
Actually, my friend Jim sent me the link to “Fresh Balls” while I was
sad/grieving over Gramma Evelyn’s passing. It definitely cheered me up!
GoGirl came from another blogger and one of my BEST FRIENDS on the Internet
known as “CMK”.
I’ve read about the GoGirl thing for a while, some other bloggers who reviewed it and chronicled their accidents until they got a good handle of the thing. I think the learners should be aware that people may think you work at a butcher’s shop or something at first. As far as the sweaty balls, well it definitely makes it a little difficult to walk when you have a sizable package *Ahem, i know, thanks*. I’ve never ever experienced itching, chaffing or even smell around or behind the hanging berries. I was married for a long time, the ex liked playing with them things, so I know by third party inspection that there was no such thing as smell.
For better walking and sitting posture, I think I would use it.
Porkstar, you CRACK ME UP.
Okay. Now all I can think of is smelly balls which should be good to keep me from eating all the chocolate covered strawberries I just made. Ewwww Thanks for that. I’ve seen the “pee standing up” thingy. That would have really come in handy in my bar days when there was always a huge line. Now I’m thinking it would be good while travelling with a 4 year old. She’s always wanted to pee in the bottle like her brother 🙂
I truly wish I’d had a GoGirl when I was in the hospital. Bed pans just don’t do the trick! As for the So Fresh, So Dry… please! Use it, guys! Honor the sanctity of the female olfactory organs!
Yes, I’m the one who brought GoGirl to you. I KNEW you’d love it. 🙂 I like how the site says to practice using the thing in the shower until you get the hang of it–that cracked me up, knowing the debate that people have about should you or shouldn’t you pee in the shower.
And here we go with too much information: When you are slightly well-endowed in the boobage department AND you gain weight AND you get older, you thank the gods for a product like Fresh Breasts. I MUST check out the site–quickly! Summer just around the corner. 😉
When it comes to strange things that are sold on the interwebs, I seem to be a magnet for finding them. My number one, strangest, not-understanding-WHY-they-are-needed products that I have found are Neuticals. Neuticals are testicular implants for your PETS! Yes, first you bring your dog into the vet to get his balls whacked off and then you pay to have fake ones put back. You know, so he won’t be embarrassed out in the park when he’s running with his friends and he doesn’t have anything that dangles. Wow. Here’s the site for those that can’t get enough strangeness from The Gore: http://www.neuticles.com/
I thought the GoGirl might be good for little kids too!
Sorry for making you think about balls!
That’s what I’m saying, Boom Boom!
🙂
That’s what I’m saying, Boom Boom!
🙂
GET OUT!
*said in my very best Elaine Benes voice*
Holy crap CMK.
I’m HYSTERICAL laughing right now.
My ribs hurt!
GET OUT!
*said in my very best Elaine Benes voice*
Holy crap CMK.
I’m HYSTERICAL laughing right now.
My ribs hurt!
GET OUT!
*said in my very best Elaine Benes voice*
Holy crap CMK.
I’m HYSTERICAL laughing right now.
My ribs hurt!
Okay Mel, I get you wanting to test these products out and I applaud your initiative. However, in the case of “Fresh Balls” I think that one needs to be testes out and I volunteer. I always have talc all over my shorts…effective but messy. And that is not some random “cock and balls” story, so to speak.
YAY. So if they send me a free sample, you will be my FRESH BALL guinea pig?
Well, I can tell you that a product very similar to GoGirl has most definitely been on sale here for some time. In fact my sister bought some. They are used mostly by women soldiers. Well, they can’t really pull down their pants and squat, can they? You don’t actually have to pull your pants down at all. They are longer, and therefore clear any clothing, thus avoiding any ‘mess’. You can get throw away, or a special ‘always dry’ material, that you don’t even have to wash, and you carry it around in your handbag.
They are a brilliant idea for hikers and people that go on long rambles. Womens toilets are few and far between in the UK.
As for the other thing. “Why shouldn’t men be expected to shower every day?” Nothing keeps you fresher than good old soap and water, and a little talc. Call me fussy, but I expect everyone to wash their ‘private’ parts at LEAST once a day – twice if they think they might be on a promise.
Interesting products indeed … I remember I read the first somewhere before but the second product is definitely the first.
I had no idea such things existed. I kind of like the idea of the go-girl. Public toilets creep me out if I think about them too much.
I hate it when my balls aren’t fresh. Err, my breasts I mean. Whatever. My big question about peeing while standing up. Does it come in a container like a diaphragm? If so, how do you “shake it out” and really get ALL the pee out, b/4 you put it away. Or is it disposable and you just toss it behind the tree? I can’t imagine walking with the contraption in my hand to the tree with men watching. Maybe if my balls were dryer?
THANK YOU BABS! I knew YOU would have the answer to my question!
You’re the best!
AMEN!
I just can’t stop laughing at the name FRESH BALLS.
Oh I loathe public restrooms.
Although, I have perfected the ‘hover’ maneuver!
Luckily my balls smell minty fresh…well, okay, maybe more earthy fresh, but they certainly don’t get sweaty unless I’m playing full court hoops, and then appropriately sweaty. But I’ve heard from some of the other guys that this is a real problem. The woman’s urination device seems a bit far fetched though. Keep us posted if you actually use it. Either way I cracked up.
They are disposable and reusable.
Apparently the choice is yours!
OMG!!! I’m almost speechless. Almost.
I have glistening cleavage sometimes too but usually only when I work out. For the most part my boobs don’t sweat excessively unless it’s really hot out. I do recall a conversation with JD last year that was all about boob sweat, but it was during a heat wave so I don’t think it is the same thing as sweaty balls. How did you come across these products?
OMG they are a Minnesota company, I am contacting them for sponsorship for the conference.
YES!!!
You know, the expression “You Go Girl!” will never be the same for me again! Hahahaha, awesome finds Meleah!
The contact info is in the shared doc, Nicky!