(I never do this, but this email was sent to me from my mother, knowing I would appreciate the honesty of what it means to be a mother to a BOY…. and, this is pretty funny to me, I have to post it! Pictures & Writing: UNKNOWN SOURCE)
And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and
a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department inAustin , TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.
25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Thanks for the last blog about sons. Man, can I relate (I’ve got THREE!). Here’s some they missed:
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– If you throw enough matches at the tree in front of the house, it will eventually burn
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– Two wrestling teenage boys who fall against a wall in the house will crash through it
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– Car keys buried in the sand at the beach can be impossible to find
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– Ditto for car keys that drop out of your pocket while white water rafting
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– Dropping a table on your brother’s foot will probably break his toe
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– You can’t climb the downspout to break into the house
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– AÂ beer keg will not pass through the small window in the basement
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– It’s possible to burn your face while drinking a ‘flaming marguerita’
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– Barbed wire is not a climbing aid
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– You can have beer parties when your parents are away but you’ll always get caught (did you forget about the neighbors?)Â
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– Smoking weed while sitting in a van late at night will probably attract the attention of the police
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– When you climb something dangerous, make sure you have a way of getting down
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– Your little brother is not a Frisbee
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That’s enough for now but remember one thing about kids: with a son, you have one boy to worry about; with a daughter, you have to worry about them all (I cleaned that up).
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Keep em coming.
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Al
I have one girl who is three weeks old. I’d love to see a list that relates to little girls so I have a heads up. I did want a boy in the future, but now I’m not so sure!
Please translate clorox into Australian. Brake fluid I have.
BOYS are GREAT!
Don’t be scared!
Ill try to work up a “girl” post / warning for ya’ll!!