Every time I sit down to write something, you’re nowhere to be found. And believe me, I’ve looked. I checked in all of your usual hiding places, with no such luck. It seems as though you’ve up and left. And you didn’t even bother to say goodbye.
Quite frankly, I’m a little worried.
Have you been kidnapped?
Are you lost?
Or are you just on vacation?
To be perfectly honest, my level of productivity has been severely impaired ever since your departure. And I can’t work without you. Therefore, I’m willing to make a few promises in exchange for your swift return.
- I vow to pay more attention to you. Even when you decided to make an appearance during the most inopportune moments. Like right before I fall asleep, or when I’m driving my car, or while I’m taking a shower.
- I promise to feed you a well-rounded variety of books, stories, articles, and blog posts, in order to keep you fresh. And coffee. And brownies. And bacon. And cheese. And vodka.
- I am committed to changing my inconsistent work ethic. I pledge to stick with our regular writing schedule on Sunday – Thursday nights from 11pm – 6am. And I will stop trying to force your hand during the daytime, because I know how much that pisses you off.
- I’m motivated. I’m inspired. And I am one thousand percent dedicated. In fact, I’m willing to check myself into ‘Writing Rehab’ while under a self-imposed-stay-at-home-lock-down, if necessary.
- Lastly, I will provide an endless supply of scented candles, a neatly organized workstation, and whatever else your heart desires.
So please, for the love of all things holy, come home already.
And let’s get back to work.
M’kay?
Not to worry, Meleah. I think your muse has taken off on a bender with my muse. I have people out looking for them as we speak. I am relatively sure that my muse has been a really bad influence on your muse. The last I heard they were drunk on a topless beach on the Riveria. I am sure they will be back as soon as the money runs out or one of them is pregnant. (that isn’t necessarily a bad thing as then we would have an extra muse in reserve). If I hear any more as to their where abouts, I’ll let you know.
Mel, I think I saw your muse down at the bar doing tequila shots the other day and just making a general nuisance of herself. Like Cheryl said, I think she has been partying around a lot and may have been hanging with my muse for a while. Hopefully they will sober up and head back home soon.
ya I found your muse. But before i csn return her, i’ll require the deep fried Twinkies.
I have no doubt it will be back, it just went on a little vacation, those are ok but all vacations must end 🙂
Have you tried eating muesli? Just a thought 😉
Haven’t seen your muse out here in the corn fields… but with deep fried twinkles and bacon as the reward… I’ll definitely be on the lookout!
No, my dear Libra friend….your muse isn’t missing at all.
This is a faaaaaaaaaaabulous post!!!
And the milk carton is freakin’ BRILLIANT! You. are. so. clever.!!!!!!!!!!!
And hey, is it as hot there as it is here today? I think it reached 92! I went outside once to pick up some shampoo and a pack of cigarettes at CVS, and then came right back in. I’m now doing my laundry in a HOT laundry room 🙁 Tomorrow it’s suppose to be even hotter – OY!
X
Well….
I hope the two of them are having a good time.
However, I hope they hurry home – soon!
I hope so too, Agg.
I can’t take much more of this!
DEAL!!
* shakes hands *
And soon!
I’ll try anything.
But, what the hell is muesli?
Thanks, Love!
It’s like DISGUSTING hot.
Like, unnecessarily hot.
Like, un-called for hot.
Like, ridiculously hot.
🙂
Same here! I’m shvitzing!
Oh dear god….I want FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X
I saw your muse on 34th and 8th. I said hey punk, your mother is looking for you, go home now. It held up a hand but was missing its fingers, all but one. Looks like he finally made it home because this was aMUSEing.
Hello, October?
AhahahHAhhHAH!!
I love you, Val!!
xoxoxo
Amen!
My muse is off on that bender too. I don’t know what it is. Hope they all come back soon. I am very keen to find your muse though, That reward of deep-fried Twinkies and bacon sounds absolutlely delish!
Jack London said “you can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” If Cheryl is right, maybe you have to go after your muse AT the club. I’m not sure I have a muse or if I do, she’s a lazy one. Lately, posting is like being constipated … something eventually comes out but it’s hard work. Still, once in a while, I write a post I love. Hang in there and KEEP WRITING.
xoxo
🙂
Thanks, Bud.
And you’re right.
My muse WONT show up, if I’m not already working.
I will keep on writing, in spite of her departure!
muses are whores. The good ones only appear when you don’t have the cash.
Right?
Oh, I forget that in the US you don’t generally eat cereals. It’s oats and chopped, dried fruit and nuts, basically.
OK, I’ve realized that my humour was lost in the fact that you didn’t know what muesli was and the fact that it’s pronounced the same a muse 🙂
So it looks like your muse staggered in and slept it off. You’d better watch her or she’ll eat all the bacon and twinkies. 😉
Your muse is taking a Spring Break, away from the germ-filled air on the Hill. She’ll stagger back with a fresh outlook, her lungs full of fresh air, and her mind full of… well, never mind.
My muse has been gone so long that I’ve forgotten what she looked like.
“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”
– Jack London
Ohhhh!
HA!
Good idea!
Well she better hurry up and come home.
Love that quote!
How ’bout a 9 iron?
Try tequila, Darling. It works wonders. You might hallucinate a bit, but that’s okay.
Yes, please.
Things NEVER end well when I drink tequila!
I’m better off with Vodka.
Specifically Grey Goose.
Aw, it will come back! It seems like you were writing tons there for a while so it’s just spreading itself out 🙂
I’m just so frustrated!
Maybe FORCING myself to keep writing, is making it worse?
Brownies, cheese and vodka? I’ll help you look.
I got it right off! Funny, Babs. But I don’t know if Meleah wants a crunchy muse.
Game on!
🙂
And bacon.
And deep-fried twinkies
I think since we have not gotten to meet up in person your muse and my inspiration have hit the road to Atlantic City! I love you and you are amazing even with a vacationing muse!
🙂
Traci
Ha ha! I don’t think she was too keen 🙂